The kiss of death!!!!!

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Replies

  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    It will roll before 4pm. Mark my words. (Possibly)

    Would that be a...(wait for it...wait for it..) DRUM ROLL? (rimshot)
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    and to keep the festive mood I will start another Christmas favorite of mine....

    Music and Lyrics © Matthew Ebel Entertainment

    We know that it’s that time of year when families come together
    to sing and laugh and eat too much and gripe about the weather.
    It’s Christmas, but I’m sad to say we’re in a situation;
    we can’t come home until the end of our incarceration.

    (Alien gibberish)

    We’re far from family but still the locals treat us kindly.
    The guards are cheerful even though they’re ordered to confine me.
    The aliens across from us got nicked for snowball fighting,
    they made us earwax candles to provide some festive lighting.

    In this cozy prison cell, from all the inmates and my crew,
    merry Christmas from cell block two.
    Merry Christmas from cell block two.
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    It will roll before 4pm. Mark my words. (Possibly)

    Would that be a...(wait for it...wait for it..) DRUM ROLL? (rimshot)

    Yes.

    /choked vintage crash cymbal
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    its gonna be tough to roll I believe...I am on my way to the shower since I have to go to a luncheon at the office...that will take 2-3 hours of my day and it seems Oboe has gone "on holiday" for the moment...but here is some more music while you wait...

    The mobsters down in cell block one sent us a pile of fishes
    and someone swiped the warden’s credit card to buy us dishes.
    We tried to start some caroling but no one dared to sing.
    We asked what Santa Claus looked like but no one saw a thing.

    Our Yule log was courtesy of Blarg who’s in for arson,
    although he swears his crime’s impersonation of a parson.
    Our neighbor’s from a distant world, he’s serving 10-20.
    He gifted us a shiv to cut the cake ’cause he’s got plenty.

    We know we won’t be here for long-
    like everyone that’s in here, we did nothing wrong.
    We hope that we’ll be out before it gets too late,
    but in or out we plan to celebrate.

    We made nog in our commode but no one wants to drink it.
    (I guess we could’ve used the sink but no one thought to think it.)
    We had a tree with ornaments and tinsel colored gold
    but yesterday it disappeared, they say it made parole…

    from this cozy prison cell, from all the inmates and my crew,
    merry Christmas from cell block two.
    Merry Christmastime from all of us to all of you…
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all throught the house
    Every creature was stirring
    Even the mouse
    The stockings weren't hung
    They were thrown on a chair
    And as for St. Nick
    Nobody cared

    The tree was all trimmed
    With reefer and holly
    And all in the house
    Were drunk and quite jolly
    Mom in the whorehouse
    And Dad smokin' grass
    And I'd just settled down
    For a nice piece of *kitten*

    When out on the lawn
    There arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my piece
    To see what was the matter

    When out on the lawn
    I saw a big d.ic.k
    I knew in a moment
    It must be St. Nick

    He came down the chimney
    Like a bat out of hell
    I knew in a moment
    The f*cker had fell

    He filled all the stockings
    With pretzels and beer
    And a big rubber *kitten*
    For my brother the queer

    He flew back up the chimney
    With a thunderous fart
    The son-of-a-b*tc.h
    Blew my chimney apart

    And I heard him exclaim
    As he rode out of site
    Piss on you all, and have a s.h.i.tty *kitten* night!!!!!
  • tinz75
    tinz75 Posts: 912 Member
    I was going to type it, but it sounds so much better sung so just nip along to see it:
    http://youtu.be/39TGE-Xh_20

    And, ehm... ladies I think the KOD can do better!
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    absolutely we could!!!!! i'm not on holiday, Harvo, my boss came down. haha

    JUST a bowtie Harvo? Merry Christmas to all!
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    I was going to type it, but it sounds so much better sung so just nip along to see it:
    http://youtu.be/39TGE-Xh_20

    And, ehm... ladies I think the KOD can do better!

    OK, I've stripped down to my undies and am just making sure I know all the words. Are you other girlies on your way?
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    Remember Harvo, if we don't see the pic it never happened....
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    I've got a long cold swim ahead of me, Bern, but I'm on my way!!!
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member

    OK, I've stripped down to my undies and am just making sure I know all the words. Are you other girlies on your way?

    I'm ready!
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    I'm depressed today, I should have been going to the MEN tonight to see my favourite band, but when the girl I was going with pulled out and I couldn't fill her stop I sold my tickets :sad: Now regretting it BIGTIME :sad:
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    Where's MEN??
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    what's MEN?
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    OK, I've stripped down to my undies and am just making sure I know all the words. Are you other girlies on your way?

    Born ready!!!
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    Manchester Evening News Arena (Massive concert venue)
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    And who is on tonight?
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    um, i've got an extra pair of bon jovi tickets for february that you can have... provided you cross the pond...
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Courteeners I believe. And it's just called Manchester Arena now, the sponsorship ran out earlier this year.

    /pedant
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    I really wanted to see the Rolling Stones
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    so you gave up your tix just cause you didn't want to go alone, Bex?
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    That's all kinds of wrong. I go to most gigs alone.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Remember Harvo, if we don't see the pic it never happened....

    NICE....better see if Oboe has a camera...I mean it was what she asked KOD for as a Christmas present...
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    I really wanted to see the Rolling Stones

    EASY...stones were not meant to be rolled......
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    so you gave up your tix just cause you didn't want to go alone, Bex?

    Yeah, it's not really the safest thing to do. And yes it's the Courteeners so you really need to go with someone that likes them as they are up and coming. I jump around like a crazy fool lol
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e093F9sJgqs

    I was at this concert 2 years ago, only in seats though, tonights tickets were standing :sad:
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    you could go alone and found a nice looking boy to jump around like crazy with....

    but that's definitely not the safer option...
  • tinz75
    tinz75 Posts: 912 Member
    I was going to type it, but it sounds so much better sung so just nip along to see it:
    http://youtu.be/39TGE-Xh_20

    And, ehm... ladies I think the KOD can do better!

    OK, I've stripped down to my undies and am just making sure I know all the words. Are you other girlies on your way?
    Well done for taking the initiative Bern :)
  • tinz75
    tinz75 Posts: 912 Member
    I go to gigs on my own, but it is different for guys. Shame we didn't know sooner, I would have gone with you Bex :)
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    You´re a bum you´re a punk
    You´re an old slut on junk
    Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
    You scumbag you maggot
    You cheap lousy *kitten*
    Happy christmas your *kitten* I pray god it´s our last.


    I'm in desperate need of hearing some Christmas music.