The kiss of death!!!!!

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Replies

  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member

    Well done for taking the initiative Bern :)

    Thanks, but I'm starting to get a bit cold now.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    You´re a bum you´re a punk
    You´re an old slut on junk
    Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
    You scumbag you maggot
    You cheap lousy *kitten*
    Happy christmas your *kitten* I pray god it´s our last.


    I'm in desperate need of hearing some Christmas music.

    I have given 2 or 3 songs at this point :sad: :brokenheart:
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Let me try again....as sung by Bob Rivers

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmFNDU5D8U0

    There's something stuck up in the chimney
    And I don't know what it is,
    But it's been there all night long.
    Well, I waited up for Santa all Christmas night
    But he never came and it don't seem right.
    And there's something in the chimney
    And it doesn't make a sound,
    But I wish you Merry Christmas.

    There's something stuck up in the chimney
    And I don't know what it is,
    But it's been there all week long.
    Well, the dog keeps barking up the chimney flue
    And we don't know what we're going to do.
    Cause there's something in the chimney
    And it doesn't move around,
    And it's been a week since Christmas.
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    hearing vs. reading harvo! i do love everything you're posting, it's cracking me up! :flowerforyou:
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    I have given 2 or 3 songs at this point :sad: :brokenheart:

    Yes, and you've sung them beautifully too. But I'd quite like to hear them coming out of actual speakers.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    I have given 2 or 3 songs at this point :sad: :brokenheart:

    Yes, and you've sung them beautifully too. But I'd quite like to hear them coming out of actual speakers.

    at your service madam (bows)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmFNDU5D8U0
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    I go to gigs on my own, but it is different for guys. Shame we didn't know sooner, I would have gone with you Bex :)

    Next time I'll ask you guys beforehand lol
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Maybe more appropriate for MFP...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN_TtQczgZA

    It's the most fattening time of the year
    With that pumpkin pie filling
    and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer
    It's the most fattening time of the year

    It's the lip smackingest season of all
    while your shopping you're cheating
    impulsively eating that junk at the mall

    It's the heav-heaviest season of all

    There'll be turkeys for basting
    and stuffing for tasting
    and giblets and gravy will flow
    there'll be cookies that mom baked
    and leftover fruit cake from a christmas a long time ago

    it's the scale flattening time of the year
    while your diet you're blowing
    there's calories going straight down to your rear
    it's the scale flattening time of the year

    there'll be after meal dosing
    and arteries closing
    cholesterol levels will grow
    it's too cold to go jogging
    to brisk for tobogganing
    so pass me a hot buttered roll

    It's the most fattening time of the year

    All those gingerbread shingles and
    chocolate Chris Kringle's will tremble in fear

    It's the most fattening time,
    it's the belt loosening time,
    it's the most fattening time of the year
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    and my last Christmas song before I leave for this "team building exercise"....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYPCo2rF_V8

    The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
    Is finding a Christmas tree

    The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
    Rigging up the lights
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
    Hangovers
    Rigging up the lights
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
    Sending Christmas cards
    Hangovers
    Rigging up the lights
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
    Five months of bills!
    Sending Christmas cards
    Hangovers
    Rigging up the lights
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
    Facing my in-laws
    Five months of bills!
    Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
    Hangovers
    Rigging up these lights!
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
    The Salvation Army
    Facing my in-laws
    Five months of bills!
    Sending Christmas cards
    Oh, geez!
    I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
    I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
    Charities,
    And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?
    Five months of bills!
    Oh, making out these cards
    Honey, get me a beer, huh?
    What, we have no extension cords?!?
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
    Finding parking spaces
    DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
    Donations!
    Facing my in-laws
    Five months of bills!
    Writing out those Christmas cards
    Hangovers!
    Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
    "Batteries Not Included"
    No parking spaces
    BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!
    Get a job, ya bum!
    Oh, facing my in-laws!
    Five months of bills!
    Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
    Oh, geez, look at this!
    One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
    Stale TV specials
    "Batteries Not Included"
    No parking spaces
    DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
    Charities!
    She's a witch...I hate her!
    Five months of bills!
    Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
    Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?
    Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!
    And finding a Christmas tree

    The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
    Singing Christmas carols
    Stale TV specials
    "Batteries Not Included"
    No parking?!?
    WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
    Charities!
    Gotta make 'em dinner!
    Five months of bills!
    I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!
    Shut up, you!
    FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
    And finding a Christmas tree


    See you guys and gals soon
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Too much music.
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    Too much music.

    And not enough smut :mad: :explode: :devil: lol
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Smut is useless without pics.
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    Pics are good, but imagination can do good things too :D
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    i would post pics if i weren't at work....

    we need to go back to talking about Bern starting the initiative to sing in our undies
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Pics are good, but imagination can do good things too :D

    Imaginations are evil and must be killed with fire.
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    Really? Why do you think that?
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Experience. Anyway, I'm bringing the thread down. I'll shut up.

    /sings Silent Night in a sweet falsetto
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    Imagination for smut is good, cos sometimes you have nothing else lol

    I can see what you are saying about other things though.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Experience. Anyway, I'm bringing the thread down. I'll shut up.

    /sings Silent Night in a sweet falsetto

    I prefer real ones but hey if they wants to show their falsetto's I am there!
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    Imagination for smut rules! :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • Bex2Bslim
    Bex2Bslim Posts: 1,092
    OK kids, 19 posts to go til we roll, please dig in (with smut of possible)

    I am going home at 5 to spend the night on the sofa under the blanket (literally) :D
  • oboeing
    oboeing Posts: 1,816 Member
    for some of us, our imagination is the only thing that keeps us going...

    mine is rather active. especially lately.

    obviously the real thing is 100x better, but hey, i'll take what i can get (which is.... me....)

    haha
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    I do not believe I would be alive if it weren't for imagination during my first marriage...but I digress...see ya later...enjoy rolling without me...
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    for some of us, our imagination is the only thing that keeps us going...

    mine is rather active. especially lately.

    obviously the real thing is 100x better, but hey, i'll take what i can get (which is.... me....)

    haha

    For some of us it's the only thing that stops us going. Mine's also rather active lately.

    Tonight I am going to hit all of the drums with the sticks. Funs.
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    I'm here til 5 as well if we can roll together before then
  • Tracey1147
    Tracey1147 Posts: 951 Member
    I do not believe I would be alive if it weren't for imagination during my first marriage...but I digress...see ya later...enjoy rolling without me...

    Was you using your imagination alone or with your wife?
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    I'm back for the roll!
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    I do not believe I would be alive if it weren't for imagination during my first marriage...but I digress...see ya later...enjoy rolling without me...

    Was you using your imagination alone or with your wife?

    I'd be interested to hear ex Mrs Harvo's thoughts on this!
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    I said it would happen before 4. So I have 14 minutes to talk to myself in.
  • BernadetteChurch
    BernadetteChurch Posts: 2,210 Member
    I said it would happen before 4. So I have 14 minutes to talk to myself in.

    Piece of cake

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