I'm being sabotaged.

kfitzpa

Are you kidding me? Your friend does not have a gun to your head. You're an adult, you're the only one who controls what food you put into your face. At the end of the day, it's your body and your health. You need to put your foot down.

UsedToBeHusky

I can't stand it, I know you planned it, I'm gonna set it straight, this watergate...

To the OP: It's your body and your choice. You need to tell her that. If she has a problem with it, then find a new agent. But if you are careful with your planning and exercise, there is no reason why those things should sabotage you. I have a category that I created in my diary just for indulgences.

Shannon2714

I'd have thrown the Big Mac in the trash, right in front of her. No REAL friend would act like this. YOU are the only one responsible for what you eat. If she doesn't like it, she can piss off.

MommaBear1977

People do sabotage our diet. Friends drop by with cake .. oh just one littel piece it wont' hurt.. It takes time and practice to be strong enough to say "NO". Try it a few times, it gets easier.

Atalante

I think some of the other posts miss the point slightly by just saying that you have to stand up for yourself and so on. It is very difficult to do this to someone you like very much or even love. My husband sabotage me a lot especially when it comes to exercise, so I know what you're going through. I think the person who says that you have to talk to her and find out what's going on and why she is doing it comes closest to being helpful. However, it is possible that she - like my husband - is completely unaware of what she is doing and why. The moment I sat down and analysed the problem and figured out that he felt extremely bad about not being able to exercise and getting himself into shape due to permanent back problems and that he was jealous of my being able to go out and work for a new figure - a jealousy he did not want to admit even to himself - was the moment I realised that I simply had to ignore the sabotage and get on with my plan. About once a week I allow myself a treat day with him; either going out for a meal or cooking something special at home. You have to decide how YOU tackle this issue and go ahead and do it yourself because quite possibly your friend is not going to realise what she is doing - whatever you say to her and it might kill your friendship.

Wreak_Havoc

My Agent? Get a new one
My Best Friend? Not likely. Not if she only sees you as a fat paycheck. (No pun intended)

PhilyPhresh

I can't stand it, I know you planned it, I'm gonna set it straight, this watergate...

:laugh: brilliance at its finest...

sweetalker

Yeesh, no, I'm not Kirstie Alley and I'm not the chick from Precious.

I do have it in my contract that I'm not allowed to lose past a certain amount of weight once filming has started (every actor has this), but I'm between films now so I'm doing my best to lose as much as possible while I still can.

I will be talking to her. I just needed some ideas on what to say, and how to start this convo, so thank you for the suggestions.

Those of you telling me "grow up"... that's not helpful at all, wtf???

pkw58

So dealing with the emotions of yourself and food is one thing, having those close to you in real life not help you is a fact we all have to deal with. To make it worse, we all receive gifts and appreciation tokens in the form of food. Thank you, nice of you to do, I appreciate the offer, but have to decline right now. Words to practice and mean them when people are generous to you and you can't accept. Like being offered free tickets to a pro football game on a Sunday when you are scheduled to be in church as an usher. You have prior commitments. Like your health needs some serious attention (well, in my case it did).

Sweetalker, best of luck. I enjoy TV and Movies and I am really glad you do what you do.

Graelwyn75

I would say that the fact of the matter is this. Your health is important and you won't be much good in any career if you end up 6 feet under as a result of issues caused by being obese. You have to do what is right for you, there are other agents out there, if this one is unwilling to accept you want and need to lose weight for the sake of your health, and most likely for your self esteem as well. I imagine it is a very difficult position to be in, especially if you tend to get plenty of work as a result of your being outside of the skinny 'norm' within the showbusiness industry.

Talk to your agent, lay things on the line, make it clear you will lose this weight, with or without her support and the reasons why you want to lose the weight, and remind her that weight loss is a slowish process anyway so you will still be castable as the 'fat' girl for a while yet, unless you plan on making this a crash diet, rather than a lifestyle change(the former being pointless really as you will just end up regaining the weight and more in time).

PomegranatePriestess

I know what it's like to feel sabotaged.

I'm big on personal responsibility, but I know what it feels like to have your willpower worn down.

I don't know you beyond what you share here, but here's my advice: You've got 200 pounds to lose. Chances are, given that and the way you're talking about sabotage, you are in fact an addict, and you (and those who care about you) need to behave accordingly.

Here's how I look at it:

Let's say you were an alcoholic. Do you think your friend would party it up in front of you during your first week on the wagon? Buy everyone a table a round right in front of you? Would she then "apologize" by handing you a bottle of vodka?

It's harder with food. It's not like you can quit cold turkey. But you can get "off the junk."

If you want to talk more, shoot me a friend request.

sweetalker

Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yes, I am an addict. I don't make any excuses for it, though I did have a hard life growing up this is the way I chose to deal with it. Some people cut, some people drink. I eat.

And now here I am with 90kg to lose and I feel very alone.

I did have that talk with my agent, told her "no more Big Macs, I'm serious about this, I want to live to see 40" and she said she would "try harder to understand". We'll see what tomorrow brings. If she brings over another fattening piece of food I'm handing it right back to her - fool me once, etc. etc.

I can't get rid of her altogether, guys. She believed in me when no one else would. I wouldn't have had any success at all without her, that's the truth. She fought hard for me, and she's still fighting hard for my career.

purple_tux1

I hate to break it to you, but this woman is NOT your friend.

You are overweight enough that your weight is dangerous to your health. Would you like to get diabetes and lose both feet or would like to be nice to this woman.

JanaCanada

I will be talking to her. I just needed some ideas on what to say, and how to start this convo, so thank you for the suggestions.

Tell her your health is more important than any job/career or friendship. How much money will she earn if you die of obesity? Sorry if that sounded harsh....but I'm just shaking my head over your dilemma and how shallow your agent sounds. If she loves you, she'll support you. If not, then it's your call. Love yourself enough to take a stand for your life. All of us here support your weight loss journey. Be brave, and good luck. xoxox

Chewster001

Enlist her help in choosing healthy foods and activities for you. Get her involved in caring for you in a healthy way. Ask her to get you a special salad or quinoa or something else that'll help you with your goal. Ask her to work out with you. That way, she'll have a better idea about what makes you happy. She's used to making you happy with food. You have to teach her how to please you differently now that you're making this change.

babeinthemoon

I do have it in my contract that I'm not allowed to lose past a certain amount of weight once filming has started (every actor has this), but I'm between films now so I'm doing my best to lose as much as possible while I still can.

I will be talking to her. I just needed some ideas on what to say, and how to start this convo, so thank you for the suggestions.

Okay. How about this. Reassure her that you realize that it will take quite some time to loose all the weight you would like to loose, and that you want to do it in a healthy manner, which will include a slow and steady pace. Also reassure her that you know the "rules" regarding contracts, and that you will go on "maintainance," and will not loose more than allowed with every new contract.

Tell your agent/friend that you are finally taking your health and well-being seriously, and that you want to be around and working for a very long time to come!

Good Luck! You can do this!!!

subcult

Depending on how famous you are get her to find you a weightwatchers/neutrisystem/ whatever deal then she has a $$reason$$$ to support you.

sweetalker

I actually already do have a deal with a weight loss company, but they were very skittish about it -- because of Kristie Alley. They are very afraid that I will lose a bunch of weight all at once and then gain it all back, making them look foolish. It took a lot for my agent to book me that job, because Weight Loss Company, Inc. did not want to take the chance with someone my size. They also said - because of my double chin! - that I did not "look healthy enough". Boo to you, Weight Loss Company, Inc.

(ROTFLMAO at remarks my agent is "shallow". Well, duh. That's what agents are paid for.)

mamagooskie

Don't eat the food. If she buys you a Big Mac and you want something else for lunch, throw it in the trash. She'll get the hint.

Exactly!! You have all the control.....now put it into action!!

Jacwhite22

I wouldn't change a thing. Some dudes love fat chicks. Not most......but some.