Monty Python Anyone?
Replies
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And now for something completely different...0
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"It's only a model."
"Shut up, Patsy!"0 -
My proudest moments as a parent are always when my toddlers begin quoting Monty Python.0
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Would you like a mint, sir? It's wa-fer thin?0
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“And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats, and larg--"
"Skip a bit, Brother..."
"And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.’0 -
You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King', you and all your silly English K-nig-hts!!0
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me!0
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Tis but a scratch!!0
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Would you like a mint, sir? It's wa-fer thin?
"Fu*k off, I'm full..."0 -
What's this then? Romanes eunt domus0
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"Now you listen here. He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"0
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Man: I wonder where that fish has gone.
Woman: You did love it so.
You looked after it like a son.
Man: [strangely] And it went wherever I did go.
Woman: Is it in the cupboard?
Woman: Wouldn't you like to know.
It was a lovely little fish.
Man: [strangely] And it went wherever I did go.
Woman: Where can the fish be?
Man in audience: Have you thought of the drawers in the bureau?
Woman: It is a most elusive fish.
Man: [strangely] And it went wherever I did go!
Woman: Oh fishy, fishy, fishy, fish.
Man: Fish, fish, fish, fishy oh!
Woman: Oh fishy, fishy, fishy fish.
Man: That went wherever I did go.0 -
. . . I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. . .I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars!0
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woman in labor: "what do i do?!"
doctor: "nothing,dear, you're not qualified"
and
"That's the machine that goes 'PING!' "0 -
This is all to silly0
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The Black Knight always triumphs!0
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Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--
Brave Sir Robin ran away,
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin.
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.0 -
"You have to be different!"
--" Yes, we are all different!"
---- "I'm not!"0 -
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
Lol, I love this one!0 -
Zoot: "And then the oral sex!"
Sir Galahad: "Well I guess I could stay a bit longer....!"0 -
She turned me into a newt...well I got better!
What do you burn apart from witches?
More witches!(pause)
Wood!
So, why do witches burn?
Cuz they're made of... wood?
Gooood.
So, how do we tell if she is made of wood?
Build a bridge out of her!
We are the knights who say Ni!0 -
<
This0 -
It's dead!
No, it's sleeping!
It is an EX-PARROT!
lol
thanks for the thread...now i've gotta go watch some python on neflix0 -
Zoot: "And then the oral sex!"
Sir Galahad: "Well I guess I could stay a bit longer....!"
Wicked, Wicked Zoot!0 -
Bring out your dead! (clang)
(this is actually my ringtone.. LOL)0 -
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!0
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Who said women don't like Monty Python?
These ladies rock like that dude from Foghat!0 -
"All the naughty words sound woody..."0
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On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.0
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Deidre, get that would you?
tell them we've already got one.
I thought we were an autonomous collective.0
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