Monty Python Anyone?

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Replies

  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4ZM44aMOq9YiekaPkb0dHSqVjem7d6M6Hs8hEYssvInswAG6OuQ
  • gabe_irun4coffee
    gabe_irun4coffee Posts: 230 Member
    Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
  • wapntake
    wapntake Posts: 21
    The Mighty Tim.
    "It's only a rabbit"
    "He'll do you up a treat"
  • HuskyMan3
    HuskyMan3 Posts: 527 Member
    Have I got a big nose, Mum?

    Stop thinking about sex!

    I wasn't!

    You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small? "
  • RiverManUK
    RiverManUK Posts: 35 Member
    `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.
  • tryclyn
    tryclyn Posts: 2,414 Member
    " The Larch"
  • lamilli09
    lamilli09 Posts: 354 Member
    Someone better bring me a shrubbery.
  • helyg
    helyg Posts: 675 Member
    He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

    Incidentally, the woman who played Judith (girlfriend of Brian) is my yoga teacher.
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,648 Member
    Where'd you get the coconuts?

    We found them.

    Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!

    What do you mean?

    Well, this is a temperate zone

    The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

    Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

    Not at all. They could be carried.

    What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

    It could grip it by the husk!

    It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

    Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?

    Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

    Please!

    or

    One, two, FIVE!
    Three, sir.
    THREE!
  • PJ_73
    PJ_73 Posts: 331 Member
    "He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!"


    Damn! Beaten to it!

    "You're ****ing nicked, me old beauty!"
  • HuskyMan3
    HuskyMan3 Posts: 527 Member
    Crucifixion?

    Yes.

    Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

    Crucifixion?

    Er, no, freedom actually.

    What?

    Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.

    Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.

    No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.

    Oh yes, very good. Well...

    Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.
  • dmurphy1975
    dmurphy1975 Posts: 45 Member
    First rule of not being seen,,,,,, Don't stand up!!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    King Arthur: Old woman.
    Dennis: Man.
    King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
    Dennis: I'm 37.
    King Arthur: What?
    Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
    King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
    Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
    King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
    Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
    King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
    Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
    King Arthur: Well I am king.
    Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
  • HuskyMan3
    HuskyMan3 Posts: 527 Member
    I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!

    Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

    What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

    He is! He is the Messiah!

    Now, f*** off!

    How shall we f*** off, O Lord?
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    Welease Wodderwick!
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,648 Member
    NONE shall pass.
  • HuskyMan3
    HuskyMan3 Posts: 527 Member
    Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    I chop down trees. I eat my lunch. I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.
  • tuiccim
    tuiccim Posts: 689 Member
    It's dead!
    No, it's sleeping!
    It is an EX-PARROT!

    lol

    thanks for the thread...now i've gotta go watch some python on neflix

    He's pining for the Fjords!
  • HuskyMan3
    HuskyMan3 Posts: 527 Member
    Brave Sir Robin ran away...

    *No!*

    bravely ran away away...

    *I didn't!*

    When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

    *I never did!*

    Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

    *Oh, you liars!*

    Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Pie Iesu domine dona eiis requiem *thunk*
    Pie Iesu domine dona eiis requiem *thunk*
  • EricC7788
    EricC7788 Posts: 102 Member
    Brave Sir Robin ran away...

    *No!*

    bravely ran away away...

    *I didn't!*

    When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

    *I never did!*

    Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

    *Oh, you liars!*

    Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.


    LMAO!!! AWESOME
  • splitendswoman
    splitendswoman Posts: 41 Member
    "What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
    Moose bites can be pretty nasty.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    Holy hand grenade
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 442 Member
    PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?

    BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.

    PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?

    BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'. [slap] Aah!

    PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.

    CENTURION: Has what, sir?

    PILATE: Spiwit.

    CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.

    PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.

    CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.

    PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.

    BRIAN: To what, sir?

    PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!

    [slap]

    BRIAN: Aaah!

    CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?

    PILATE: What?

    CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?

    PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
  • WolffEarl
    WolffEarl Posts: 379 Member
    What have the Romans ever done for us?
  • diver71_au
    diver71_au Posts: 424 Member
    Bring out your dead! (clang)

    (this is actually my ringtone.. LOL)


    I have the forest message scene as my sms tone:

    "BOING!!! Message for you Sir"
  • monkeefun
    monkeefun Posts: 271 Member
    RELEASE THE TIGER!
  • almc170
    almc170 Posts: 1,093 Member
    What do you mean, an African or European Swallow?

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