Cheap date.

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Replies

  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Go pumpkin picking and carve jack-o-lanterns!

    Great idea :)! A decent, but not too expensive bottle of wine, and you are in business!

    Wine?! Tis the season for hard apple cider. You have to stick to the theme of the date. :smile:

    Yummy ... cider ....

    See! It works!
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    For those ripping me a new one, please try reading the whole thread. It's all of 3 pages long at this point. I had a lapse in judgement.....forgot the age ranges we have here for a sec. I've just seen so many people start threads for fun/drama and thought he was looking for Saturday night fun. And for a late 30 something.....this subject could cause that ;)
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
    Congrats on getting the digits. Maybe go walking somewhere, or look for local festivals and fairs, the mall...
  • For those ripping me a new one, please try reading the whole thread. It's all of 3 pages long at this point. I had a lapse in judgement.....forgot the age ranges we have here for a sec. I've just seen so many people start threads for fun/drama and thought he was looking for Saturday night fun. And for a late 30 something.....this subject could cause that ;)

    So it's okay to expect the guy to treat you to something expensive on the first date if you're in your 30s? We're not in the 1950s and women are working--some of them make more than men.

    I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    For those ripping me a new one, please try reading the whole thread. It's all of 3 pages long at this point. I had a lapse in judgement.....forgot the age ranges we have here for a sec. I've just seen so many people start threads for fun/drama and thought he was looking for Saturday night fun. And for a late 30 something.....this subject could cause that ;)

    So it's okay to expect the guy to treat you to something expensive on the first date if you're in your 30s? We're not in the 1950s and women are working--some of them make more than men.

    I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.

    *yawn* Small vocabularies bore me.
  • For those ripping me a new one, please try reading the whole thread. It's all of 3 pages long at this point. I had a lapse in judgement.....forgot the age ranges we have here for a sec. I've just seen so many people start threads for fun/drama and thought he was looking for Saturday night fun. And for a late 30 something.....this subject could cause that ;)

    So it's okay to expect the guy to treat you to something expensive on the first date if you're in your 30s? We're not in the 1950s and women are working--some of them make more than men.

    I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.

    *yawn* Small vocabularies bore me.

    People who try to dismiss an argument with *yawn* bore me. Using a guy is using a guy at any age. Chew on that.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    If you're wondering why you're 40 and still dating, I can give you some ideas.
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.

    If a guy asks me out, I'm assuming he plans to pay for it. And I thank him for a nice evening... the end.

    So are you saying here that you take girls out on first dates who have not shown you any romantic interest?? How'd you manage that?
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.

    If a guy asks me out, I'm assuming he plans to pay for it. And I thank him for a nice evening... the end.

    So are you saying here that you take girls out on first dates who have not shown you any romantic interest?? How'd you manage that?

    You're a *kitten*. I know this because I use big words. Like *kitten*.
  • I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.

    If a guy asks me out, I'm assuming he plans to pay for it. And I thank him for a nice evening... the end.

    So are you saying here that you take girls out on first dates who have not shown you any romantic interest?? How'd you manage that?

    I guess you must be romantically involved with every guy before you've even met for a first date. How do you manage that?
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I'm 40 and I always go on a simple date first to see if the girl even offers to pay. No way I am going to drop a wad of cash on the first date for a girl who hasn't shown romantic interest. And the ones who don't even offer to pay their share, or even chip-in for something small (like getting drinks if I get dinner)...they are the ultimate users and worthy of a plate of puttanesca--*kitten*'s pasta.

    If a guy asks me out, I'm assuming he plans to pay for it. And I thank him for a nice evening... the end.

    So are you saying here that you take girls out on first dates who have not shown you any romantic interest?? How'd you manage that?

    I guess you must be romantically involved with every guy before you've even met for a first date. How do you manage that?

    I think what you're referring to is chemistry? Look at her. I doubt she enters into many dates without that.
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
    I do think whomever initiates the date should pay. And I believe in old school where a man pays for the date...unless the woman does the inviting.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I do think whomever initiates the date should pay. And I believe in old school where a man pays for the date...unless the woman does the inviting.

    Exactly. Chivalry should not be (and isn't to some!) dead. OP is proving that.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Don't forget bribing into a nice meal that she better pay for the drinks for! :laugh:
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
    Ok I apologize. But if you're THAT broke, what do you think you can bring to this table at this point? Why not wait until you're more on your feet to date?
    . How rude is this haha why would you even say that to someone it's just pure cheek... Not every girl s materialistic Hun it ony tends to be gold diggers that are like that! My boyfriend didn't have money when I gt with him 4 years ago I went to his house (in his mums) orders a pizza an drinks and watched films it was lovely he then got a job after a few weeks but its not all about money if she is then you know she's not right for you x
  • gayje
    gayje Posts: 230 Member
    Ok I apologize. But if you're THAT broke, what do you think you can bring to this table at this point? Why not wait until you're more on your feet to date?

    If every person in the world waited til they were financially 'on their feet' to date, there would be many more singles... relationships should be about two people learning about each other, not how much money they have!
    BINGO! That was a rude comment (first quote) and I hope that is wasn't YOUR number this gentleman got. It's not about the money, money, money...eh?

    Good for you for going out on a limb and putting yourself out there for possible rejection. I stand and applaud you! If you want to get to know this girl, do NOT take her to a movie. I mean, think about it - how can you talk to her at a movie? Bowling, while it is a fun time, is often loud and full of obnoxious young kids. If you can handle them it may be a good first date. If not, steer clear. Remember that you have to rent shoes and pay for EACH person PER game too. That can end up costing a lot in the end.

    My boyfriend and I started dating right after he got divorced and I left a LTR. Neither of us had much of anything but we did have a date every evening for 2 weeks without having to spend a bunch of money. We both love tea so we used our re-usable insulated coffe cups, made tea and took walks holding hands. We went hiking. We walked through our local Saturday Market where the entertainment is free and plentiful. One of his favorite authors offered a reading and book signing at a local bookstore and he invited me along. We played croquet, horseshoes and frisbee golf at our local parks. We met at cool places in the Great Northwest and brought our cameras to capture the awesome wonders of nature...the list goes on and on. Best part of it? It was all FREE and we got to spend quality time getting to know each other. After dating my boyfriend for those 2 weeks I knew he was the one for me and have been deeply in love with him ever since. Another freebie! :flowerforyou:

    Stop and think about what you already do to entertain yourself that doesn't cost you any money and I'll bet you can think of half a dozen great ideas. PM me if you need more ideas and let us know how the date went.
  • I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use or value guys only for material things--as at least one poster here has shown.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    The OP's philosophy????? WTF are you talking about?
  • charelg
    charelg Posts: 599 Member
    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.



    It's a negative mark on a guys character to Not pay on a date, ESP the first one. I'm all for a girl offering to pay for dates here and there as it progresses. But for the first few dates, the Man should pay.
  • gayje
    gayje Posts: 230 Member
    Ok I apologize. But if you're THAT broke, what do you think you can bring to this table at this point? Why not wait until you're more on your feet to date?

    I bet you married an old wealthy guy and are just waiting for him to die.

    :laugh: :drinker:
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.

    Just as you've made the point this thread isn't about the OP's age or his date's age, I'd like to remind you this thread isn't about his date's character. If she turns out to be puttanesca-deserving, well... I'm sure he can deal with that appropriately.
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
    Why does not having very much money mean he cannot date? Even if they got to the point of a relationship, being a little on the poor side for now shouldn't make a difference. Unless she was the type of person that expects people to take them on dates to expensive restaurants, and expects the boy to pay every time...but then, who would want to date someone like that?
    Ok I apologize. But if you're THAT broke, what do you think you can bring to this table at this point? Why not wait until you're more on your feet to date?
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    To the OP: $50 is plenty, it's enough. There are so many things you can do with that amount, and less. It doesn't have to be an expensive meal. Doesn't even have to be a full course meal. Coffee, dessert and some sort of nature walk or trip to an art museum would be great.
  • I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.

    Just as you've made the point this thread isn't about the OP's age or his date's age, I'd like to remind you this thread isn't about his date's character. If she turns out to be puttanesca-deserving, well... I'm sure he can deal with that appropriately.

    Not at all. My whole problem was with Sizzle's comment that guys don't bring anything to the table if they don't splurge on the date from the start. I think not splurging is in fact the best way to go on the first. Guy asks, he pays, but makes it something fun and cheap. Low pressure, and two people can see if there's more of a spark.
  • CarmenSantiago
    CarmenSantiago Posts: 681 Member
    I do think whomever initiates the date should pay. And I believe in old school where a man pays for the date...unless the woman does the inviting.

    Exactly. Chivalry should not be (and isn't to some!) dead. OP is proving that.


    I too believe that a guy should pay if he is the one the asked. And vice versa if it is the girl that asked. I'm old fashioned that way too. That being said, a lot of money doesn't have to be spent. The ones looking for big spenders are probably not ones you want to date again anyway. IMHO
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.

    Just as you've made the point this thread isn't about the OP's age or his date's age, I'd like to remind you this thread isn't about his date's character. If she turns out to be puttanesca-deserving, well... I'm sure he can deal with that appropriately.

    Not at all. My whole problem was with Sizzle's comment that guys don't bring anything to the table if they don't splurge on the date from the start. I think not splurging is in fact the best way to go on the first. Do something fun, but cheap. Low pressure, and two people can see if there's more of a spark.

    I never said he had to splurge. He said he may have $40 if he scraped a jar. My initial reaction was why not wait until things were more stable to date. I pictured more stress than good coming from it. I'm a 38 year old woman. It's been (thank GOD in this economy) YEARS since I have been in that scenario. Then I looked at his profile and saw 21. Thought about it and realized the reality. I have a 17 1/2 year old step son. I "get" that he will likely be doing the same thing. He does it now when he wants to date! I posted many times my explanation on here. I PM'd OP and became friends within seconds. Just give it a rest.
  • MrsWonderland
    MrsWonderland Posts: 107 Member
    I personally dont think money matters all that much. I always say I would rather be happy, loved and poor than to be rich and misserable.

    I think you should call her talk for a bit and see what she likes. Then maybe suggest a picnic in the park and maybe by a lake. A single flower would be a nice gesture. Or even pumpkin carving as someone else mentioned.

    My first date with my husband was at a little restaurant and we had the breakfast bar. It was inexpencive, but it was nice and quiet. Before they tore it down that was our place. He worked but didnt have alot of money because of all the child support, but I knew he really loved his kids, so it didnt matter and it still doesnt matter to me. People always got in my bussiness about him not having much money, even told me I shouldnt marry him. I have been happy for 5yrs and still dont care about money I just care about being happy.

    If she cares about money shes only a pretty face and not worth your time. I really hope that no matter what you decide or where you go, that you both have fun getting to know each other. And hope you let us know how it went. You got her number, so to me that already says something in your favor.
  • Nleon4
    Nleon4 Posts: 12 Member
    Do you have a $1 Movie theatre in your city? I just watched the newest Spiderman movie last night for $1.75. :)
  • fleur_de_lis19
    fleur_de_lis19 Posts: 926 Member
    Do something like take her to a park for a picnic or something. You don't need to splurge on a girl and she won't care if she's worth it.

    Or invite her over your place for dinner. Not pizza and TV.

    this