Be called fat and can't stop crying :'(

cinderella29292

Ok first of all at 5'3 and 112 you are definitely not fat! I agree with the others who've said you should complain to the manager of the gym as that instructor was way out of order, if you don't feel strong enough to do it alone is there someone you can take with you for support when you complain? Eating disorders are a serious illness and so hard for anyone to deal with alone. I'd ssuggest going to see your doctor and getting some counseling to help you overcome this and help you become strong. Good luck and ont let others put you down you are too good for that x

i told my mom this and we both agree to complain to the manager since this happen A LOT not just with me but with other normal/overweight people who are trying hard to get healthy too. Thank youall so much for the kind comments :flowerforyou:

meshashesha2012

A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win
Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read

I am sorry if I sound harsh but I seriously struggle to believe that multiple people are persisting in calling a 5'3" 112lb girl fat. That generally doesn't happen often, even to fat people. I think perhaps you need to speak to someone about self-esteem issues. Good luck

this is what i was going to say as well. OP is it possible that you are interpreting what they are saying as "you're fat"? sorry but people with self esteem issues rarely hear things without adding their own negative interpretations to what's being said and can sometimes twist things they hear to a completely different meaning.

i'd suggest the OP think if that's possible before suggesting she go complain to the manager and get someone in trouble simply because of her own insecurities. that's simply not fair to the trainer who may not have even said this but would still be held responsible for someone else's insecurities

cinderella29292

you have any idea how many women here would kill to be 112 lbs? you are not fat..you are gorgeous and you have an amazing smile.Dont let anyone get to you.Be healthy because you wanna feel great not to please others.Those who really care for you would love you regardless of your size and those are the people whose opinion should matter to you not some trainer.

Ur comment really put a big smile on my face :happy: Thank you so much :flowerforyou:

MinMin97

IMO there are really very few people who should make any comments about your body, outside of this forum, obviously.
I want to hear from my husband, my children make comments sometimes...
but someone at the gym, unsolicited?
Personally, I would correct that person.
Possibly I would let the management know.
His bad!
I have a pad of fat on my tummy, which is diminishing, left over from my last pregnancy.
I am not bothered by it particularly, except that it is something which I expect to leave with my fitness efforts.
But I did have a random person, not too long ago, at the gym make a comment, telling me i should suck it in.
Let me just say I don't remember feeling my line crossed so badly in the recent past...that was incredibly rude.:mad:

Well, anyway. I was not crushed, not at all. I just feel strongly that people should be very respectful of one another.

cinderella29292

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

Ditto. What an *kitten*. Find a new gym.

Wish i could but i already paid for the life time membership and there's no guarantee there won't be people with this kinda attitude in other gyms too :noway: the best i can do is to change my reaction towards them i think

Nicolee_2014

I am NEVER moving to Asia if they call people your size fat :frown:

. So much pressure to be perfect. Move back to Australia

_stephanie0

at 5'4 140lbs i must be a cow.

cinderella29292

I'm sorry that people are saying that to you. 112lbs is not fat. However, I can't help but wonder if you're saying things to them like "my butt is so big" or "my stomach is so fat" and they are responding to that. It's entirely possible that everyone is just randomly targeting you because you're not fat so they're calling you fat. But its more possible that you are making negative comments about yourself and they aren't responding the way you would like. If that is the case, I bet if you quit pointing out the areas of your body you don't like, either will they.

i never made any comment about my weight or appearance in front of people (especially people i know so little about like this trainer) as the last thing i want is their judgments towards me. All i do at the gym is focusing on my workout and hardly talk to anyone. But somehow people still can see through my insecurity. Either that or they're just rude by nature :laugh:

RobynMWilson

5'3" and 112lbs is called "fat"? I'm 5'7" and 135lbs..would you call ME fat? And what the h*@% kinda personal trainer would say something like that to you? What is WRONG with people??!! Now I wanna become a personal trainer more than ever! I'm tempted to ask their name so I can find them on FB and BLAST them!

People call me "skinny". I hate it! Those same people made fun of me being "fat" when I was 200lbs in junior high. Moral of the story? YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME! I love how I look...it took a lot of hard work to get me here and I'm glad I'm someone who had to WORK for it instead of having everything come easy for me. Because I'm stronger and tougher and thicker-skinned than most ppl. And at the end of the day, the ONLY one I have to impress is God! And myself. Ok, and maybe my cats lol

Grnhouse

Keep loving you and doing your workout. Don't let negative words get you down. Don't focus on your stomach. It will go down in time. For women, it's the last to go. @ 112lbs I won't care what anyone said. I hope you are a healthy 112lbs. I was that small once but I was under weight and I didn't know it until a nurse told me I needed to get more in order to live long and strong. Stay focused on your goals and forget about the negative.

cinderella29292

So what did he actually say? Did he actually use the word 'fat'? Or is this your own interpretation of the situation.

Tell us his exact words...

This is exactly what he did: He came up to me when i got off the treadmill and said "U seem to work out hard but your tummy still has lots of fat" then he suggested me to do some crunches (i suppose.he knows nothing about spot reduction being a myth :laugh: ). Worst thing was he even dare to touch my waist and pinch at my fat :mad:

cinderella29292

5'3" and 112lbs is called "fat"? I'm 5'7" and 135lbs..would you call ME fat? And what the h*@% kinda personal trainer would say something like that to you? What is WRONG with people??!! Now I wanna become a personal trainer more than ever! I'm tempted to ask their name so I can find them on FB and BLAST them!

People call me "skinny". I hate it! Those same people made fun of me being "fat" when I was 200lbs in junior high. Moral of the story? YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME! I love how I look...it took a lot of hard work to get me here and I'm glad I'm someone who had to WORK for it instead of having everything come easy for me. Because I'm stronger and tougher and thicker-skinned than most ppl. And at the end of the day, the ONLY one I have to impress is God! And myself. Ok, and maybe my cats lol

I think you look amazing and no where NEAR fat...love ur toned tummy :flowerforyou: I think i would be classified more as "skinny fat" tho...definitely need to work on strength training to improve my body composition :blushing:
I agree completely with you, hard work is what makes the whole journey worthwhile and at the end, we find ourselves tougher, stronger with an inch thicker skin and a whole new positive attitude :laugh: :smooched:

Turtlejogger

Listen, I used to have eating disorders... I wouldn't eat for weeks, then I'd go into a cycle of binging and purging. I hated how I was overweight and swore I'd take care of it. I felt lonely and out of control. Realize I don't live like that anymore. That is LONG in the past now.

I can't tell you exactly how to get past it. People are pieces of art, I think. They take more finesse to fix than cars that come with instruction books for mechanics. Weight, and our perception of it has a million different facets that could be out of line. Any of them can throw you into a tail spin, and I don't know you well enough to tell you what you need to do to get out of the cycle.

One thing I CAN say, is that I, like you, hit a point where I said "I can't do this unhealthy dieting anymore. I have to give it up and find more healthful ways to deal with the weight/stress." I applaud you for that. Don't turn back. YOU CAN DO THIS.

That isn't to say that since that time I have always had a healthy weight. As a matter of fact, now I'm 42 and just back in the healthy weight range for the first time since having my third child almost four years ago. I always dropped the weight after my other kids--though I had to be patient and wait until I quit nursing (which I decided I would do for their first two years no matter what my weight because it is what was best for my kids).

This time, after finishing nursing my third child, however, I had factors working against me I had never had before. Mainly too many responsibilities on my plate. I have had to make some pretty drastic changes to make my lifestyle handleable (including moving half way across the country to get more help with the kids--considering my husband is overseas most of the year). But that not withstanding... I have always gotten back to a healthy weight.

NOW... one big thing to look at... something I am currently looking at... is determining what a healthy weight is. Of course there are a bunch of weight charts out there, but I like the ACE (American Council of Exercise) body fat percentage recommendations. (ACE, by the way, does personal trainer certification and looks to have a good reputation.) Most people recommend 18-25% body fat. Well, that is a huge range. And to be honest, I am around 24% and I don't like the way I look. I want to go leaner--and I also want to run races and be happy with my times. ACE has a chart here: http://www.acefitness.org/blog/112/what-are-the-guidelines-for-percentage-of-body-fat with guidelines for people with different goals. If you are regularly attending the gym, and want to have that very fit physique... try to go for the athlete percentages. Women athletes are recommended to have between 14-20% body fat. I've seen pictures of people with 14% and--my own taste is "eeew! " But... to each their own & beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess. Actresses look like they typically have 16-18%... (probably mostly 18%).

So, in determining if you're fat, since you belong to a gym, why don't you have someone there test your body fat percentage? Stay reasonable. Like I said... most guides say 18-25%, but if you like being quite fit, you may be able to go on the low end of that. It doesn't seem to me like 112 is much weight, but I have no idea what your body composition is. But, get the body fat percentage checked, then see if you are in a good range. DON'T drop below 14%! It is unhealthy!!!! Once you get the test done, decide if there is any work to do. It could be that you have a little work to do, or--more likely--you have to realize that you are not an airbrushed angel and that reality is much more divergent from Hollywood pics and magazines than most people are willing to admit. If you are in a good range... then I will tell you, acting confident will make those pounds disappear. Trust me, it works. (I had to do the same with a bad haircut before.... :-P Just act like you're happy, and people will be drawn to you for your charisma... not seeking whatever they can find to justify in their minds why you are anxious or uncomfortable in your own skin.

So, in a nutshell, go by the science, and tell anyone who gives you ___ to go to ___. :-) And KNOW that you are beautiful with a smile, no matter what they say.

Good luck!
TurtleJogger

Brunchstress

That's about where I am, too (5'5" and 138 and I feel fantastically HOT!

I agree that you may have misinterpreted his attempt to help you by saying you have some "belly fat" that he could help you get rid of. We ALL have fat in certain areas, problem areas and trainers can sometimes help us target those areas with certain exercises. I am positive that he did not intend to call YOU fat as a person.

Don't obsess about the number on the scale. Eat healthy, mostly things you can wash! Try to limit sodium and artificial sweeteners and your belly will be flatter.

You're already gorgeous, and that will never change!

at 5'4 140lbs i must be a cow.

JordanSky26

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

Thank you so much Jordan that was so sweet of you :flowerforyou: I think you are right he'd probably just want me to feel insecure and then provide me with a solution that he "thinks" he has :grumble: I'm not gonna fall for that. I know i'm stronger now and the truth is no matter how good i am, i can't please everyone so rather please myself first then :ohwell: Still, it's so good to know there are people like you out there that actually have a beautiful

You're so welcome and I'm thrilled to see those words; please myself first. In life we always have choices and choosing to not be a people pleasure and putting ourselves first is actually a tough choose for us friendly people out there.