Honest male answers and opinions wanted
Replies
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ohh mann the starfish thing has me dying of laughter in my office!!0
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Get yourself a young buck0
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Edited0
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Get yourself a young buck
I approve this message0 -
I'm 51. I don't have low testosterone (I checked). But, even with what the doctors call a normal level, for my age, my drive is certainly not what it was 20 years ago. Mostly that's a good thing because back then the drive to "spread it around" was so strong I could never have remained in a relationship for long.
With the drive reduced, it's easier for the routine things in life to get in the way of sex. Long days, working hard, stress over money and kids...lots of reasons why many nights you just want to close your eyes and be done with everything.
You've got to talk to him, but you've got to be very non-judgmental and open about it. It's a problem you are both having, not a problem he is having...just like every other problem in a marriage. Neither partner owns it by themselves.0 -
Maybe once a year in our marriage. 25 years married.
Once a year ?!?!?!
if 364 days pass before I get some i'm tossing myself off a building on the 365th
THIS! S**T! If it gets down to once a month, ill hang myself with a guitar string.0 -
How is the rest of your relationship?
How is his overall physical and mental health?0 -
First and foremost, all of the suggestions to cheat or get a divorce are just stupid.I want honest male answeres and opinions and if you want to be confidential to protect your manhood then great, but I need answers.
Been married a long time and my man is 49 - I am 40.... so yes, I may just be in my prime and with a dud. I get a lot of "I'm tired's" and "It's too soon's". Really? So sex is only when convenient for him, and it's like planning a calendar. Usually Friday nights but sometimes Saturday instead - never ever two nights in a row and not more than once a week. His choice, not mine.
Yes, we have kids; teens. AND while I may look forward to action because we will have the house to ourselves.... he would rather watch tv. We have the house to ourselves.... um, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this really how it is when you men reach this age?
How do you approach the use of drugs? toys? or is this just a crush to your manhood? Seriously
I'm 5-7, brunette, curvy but not fat, and I think I am pretty - I really don't think it is the scenery that is turning him off. When I get his attention, I can keep it.
ALSO, I'm 40 - I've changed over the years. How can I tell him that he is doing it wrong and not hurt him?
OK, now that I am about to post... mock away with witty sarcasm but some real insight into your male psyches would be great.
With that said:
What kind of physical shape is your Husband in? If he is overweight and simply tired all the time, the last thing he probably wants is any kind of physical interaction.... with anybody...
While it might seem counter-productive, stop trying. I mean, just stop. Don't be a jerk about it but, don't push the issue either.
Someone else suggested toys. I give that two solid thumbs up.
Unless he is dead, playing with a vibrator wihile in bed next to him is almost impossible to ignore.
You can even be cool about it and explain that you don't want to have sex with him but, you could use just a little bit of assistance with the new BOB.
Secondly, suggest a bit of exercise. Even a walk around the block could be helpful and, once he starts to get in even a LITTLE bit better shape, he will FEEL better and in return, YOU will feel better.0 -
maybe is a mental or medical disorder.... or spiritual... I always pray that I will be desired by my husband and that I desire him. God always answers prayers!
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Have you considered that you're not doing it right. Sex can be exhausting sometimes if you're partner is like a starfish, lying down with limbs spread apart. If this does apply to you, you could start doing some more work.
a starfish? Wtf.....
What? I thought we were in the Trust Tree?0 -
What about warming him up like a lady? Wine and dine him and then, give him a nice massage and when hes nice and relaxed "bam!" Attack him like a f**king praying mantis.
Ha laughed out loud for ages, my husband wants to know whats so funny, now I'm gonna have to explain what it is that I be reading on here.....mind you I could just act this out!!!0 -
I want honest male answeres and opinions and if you want to be confidential to protect your manhood then great, but I need answers.
Been married a long time and my man is 49 - I am 40.... so yes, I may just be in my prime and with a dud. I get a lot of "I'm tired's" and "It's too soon's". Really? So sex is only when convenient for him, and it's like planning a calendar. Usually Friday nights but sometimes Saturday instead - never ever two nights in a row and not more than once a week. His choice, not mine.
Yes, we have kids; teens. AND while I may look forward to action because we will have the house to ourselves.... he would rather watch tv. We have the house to ourselves.... um, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this really how it is when you men reach this age?
How do you approach the use of drugs? toys? or is this just a crush to your manhood? Seriously
I'm 5-7, brunette, curvy but not fat, and I think I am pretty - I really don't think it is the scenery that is turning him off. When I get his attention, I can keep it.
ALSO, I'm 40 - I've changed over the years. How can I tell him that he is doing it wrong and not hurt him?
OK, now that I am about to post... mock away with witty sarcasm but some real insight into your male psyches would be great.
Not a mocking post here ... let me try to address your questions/comments ... just my opinions though.
Is this really how it is when you men reach this age? NO!! I'm 48, my wife 46 - one teenage daughter still at home. We definitely take advantage of the empty house when we can. Our daughter was doing a college visit last weekend - let's just say we had a GREAT weekend ...
Drugs? Toys? Not necessarily a crusher ... If he needs "help" then maybe recommend an ED drug. Toys - not really necessary, but maybe you can guide him ... show him ... what you want.
But heck ... I'm not a sex therapist by any means. My wife usually has to push me away ... when I offer to "help" her when she gets out of the shower, when she walks, when she's cooking, breathing .... whatever. LoL0 -
Sometimes I just want to be held.
That's okay. Sometimes I just wanna roll over and eat a sandwich.
^^^YEP!!!
My guy is 36 and I'm 31. We're probably a 1-4 times a month couple, but used to be 3-5 times a day in our younger years. Love matures and the physical need isn't as great. He's still flirtatious and affectionate, but most days one or both of us is just too tired.
Amen to that. I love him dearly, and he certainly isn't doing it wrong. But sometimes, I just want to go to bed. Or sleep in. Or not move in general. And he is the same way. The poor man is so tired, half the time he looks like he has 2 black eyes.0 -
I'm 55, and I think about sex all the time.0
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First and foremost, all of the suggestions to cheat or get a divorce are just stupid.I want honest male answeres and opinions and if you want to be confidential to protect your manhood then great, but I need answers.
Been married a long time and my man is 49 - I am 40.... so yes, I may just be in my prime and with a dud. I get a lot of "I'm tired's" and "It's too soon's". Really? So sex is only when convenient for him, and it's like planning a calendar. Usually Friday nights but sometimes Saturday instead - never ever two nights in a row and not more than once a week. His choice, not mine.
Yes, we have kids; teens. AND while I may look forward to action because we will have the house to ourselves.... he would rather watch tv. We have the house to ourselves.... um, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this really how it is when you men reach this age?
How do you approach the use of drugs? toys? or is this just a crush to your manhood? Seriously
I'm 5-7, brunette, curvy but not fat, and I think I am pretty - I really don't think it is the scenery that is turning him off. When I get his attention, I can keep it.
ALSO, I'm 40 - I've changed over the years. How can I tell him that he is doing it wrong and not hurt him?
OK, now that I am about to post... mock away with witty sarcasm but some real insight into your male psyches would be great.
With that said:
What kind of physical shape is your Husband in? If he is overweight and simply tired all the time, the last thing he probably wants is any kind of physical interaction.... with anybody...
While it might seem counter-productive, stop trying. I mean, just stop. Don't be a jerk about it but, don't push the issue either.
Someone else suggested toys. I give that two solid thumbs up.
Unless he is dead, playing with a vibrator wihile in bed next to him is almost impossible to ignore.
You can even be cool about it and explain that you don't want to have sex with him but, you could use just a little bit of assistance with the new BOB.
Secondly, suggest a bit of exercise. Even a walk around the block could be helpful and, once he starts to get in even a LITTLE bit better shape, he will FEEL better and in return, YOU will feel better.
^^ THIS0 -
What about warming him up like a lady? Wine and dine him and then, give him a nice massage and when hes nice and relaxed "bam!" Attack him like a f**king praying mantis.
^^ HAHAHAHA THIS! :laugh:0 -
I am so sorry you are having this problem.
I am about to be 30 and my husband is about to be 33. I noticed that within the last year our sex life has went from all the time to just a couple times a week. I think the longest has been 2 weeks. I have noticed that it tends to go with his moods, looking for jobs and what not. If he is feeling down or depressed this has a huge affect on him.
You might check to see if something has him down or if he is hiding something.
I am a firm believe in adding toys! You need your toys you can use alone and I would incorporate stuff you can use together! I know it is expensive but try the We Vibe. Before I met my husband I had a few, but it is always fun to go shopping together. You can see what he likes without putting him on the defensive and asking him what he likes. If the toys are a problem with him try incorprating other things that might get him going (teddies, corsets, porn, role play, etc.). Whatever he is into. If you are married and have kids you have been together long enough to know some things that get him going.
Don't even tell him he is doing something wrong, just tell him what you like, or a position you want to try. Tell him what you want him to do to you and what feels good! Verbal cues during sex are hot!
Good Luck!0 -
Any number of reasons why he is like this, stress is a good one, depression, physical issues that he is too embarressed to deal with, until you get to the cause you are going to struggle to solve the issues.
I dont care what excuses people make, sex is an integral part of a relationship, at least for me, no sex no relationship end of subject, and if there is a physical problem, well get round it...isnt that what tongues and hands are for!
You need to find out what his issue is, if you have been married a long time, you should know him well enough to know how to approach a discussion on the matter with him. Failing that, and you dont wanna leave him, then learn to take care of it yourself and ignore him.0 -
What about warming him up like a lady? Wine and dine him and then, give him a nice massage and when hes nice and relaxed "bam!" Attack him like a f**king praying mantis.
Yea, go that way. The prying mantis bites her mate's head off after sex.
hahahahaha I love this its hilarious) i hope you have better luck- im only 23 and our libidos are high i guess ill enjoy it for all of us 
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if you helped more around the house and i wasnt so tired all the time .......0
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I agree with the idea of him getting his testosterone levels checked.
Up until a couple of months ago, I spent about a year where I had absolutely no energy. It was a struggle to stay awake past 9:00 p.m., but then I couldn't sleep well. I was very irritable and feeling depressed - things that are normally not my nature. He checked my testosterone levels and they were really low. I would have never thought about that because I am still in my late 30's and wasn't having problems problems with my libido.
The doctor put me on replacement therapy, and I now give myself an injection once a week. I was a completely different man within 48 hours of the first injection - felt better than I had in years. And while I wasn't really having libido problems before - it's like I'm 18 years old again now. Well worth jamming an 18-gauge needle into my quad once a week. An added bonus is that it also makes my workouts much more effective.
I'd definitely suggest he get his levels checked. It could very well be the problem, and if so, it's easily fixed.0 -
lol...sorry but im not! but thank so for showing interest!!! but it is the truth!! its a great way to show ur guy ur interested w/o talking and yapping!!! you want to get the party started, then you gotta give him what he likes!!!have you ever just walked up to him while he was watching tv, got on your knees in from of him, unzipped him and just went at it???? that usually does the trick...if he turns you away, it wont be for very long!!!
works for me every time!!
hi im available0 -
OK, this is going to sound hokey, but...
Have you read, as a couple, The 5 Love Languages?
I think that should be required reading for every couple, everywhere.0 -
have you ever just walked up to him while he was watching tv, got on your knees in from of him, unzipped him and just went at it???? that usually does the trick...if he turns you away, it wont be for very long!!!
works for me every time!!
Me too! Works EVERY time! Once he starts complaining about being tired.. I step in and make sure he isn't for long..0 -
Familiarity is the biggest libido killer there is.
Are you serious? Totally opposite for my husband and I...When we were dating (a LONG time ago haha been married for 8 years now) he had a hard time because he was so nervous...after we were together for a while (aka familiar) sex was much better for us both. Still going strong 8 years later. Being comfortable is very important sometimes.
...That said maybe you need to remind your husband that he isn't the only person in the room? Good luck.0 -
have you ever just walked up to him while he was watching tv, got on your knees in from of him, unzipped him and just went at it???? that usually does the trick...if he turns you away, it wont be for very long!!!
works for me every time!!
This would be worth a try. Has worked for me. 0 -
Sometimes I just want to be held.
LMAO! :laugh: :laugh: but not the advice I think she's asking for!! :bigsmile:0 -
One thing to add to this fun house -
If he's not showing much interest, you need to make sure it's about him, NOT you. And by it, I mean everything! Do you nag a lot? Does he say yes mom, instead of yes dear? Hot or not, I wouldn't be very interested in a pain in the *kitten*. It's not all physical, except for 1 nighters with the person who's name you don't know. lol
Men like to be the one's in control and calling the shots.0 -
quit feeding him0
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I would like to point out that it is football season now. Can you wait until January?0
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