Worried about fiance'

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  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
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    I'm worried about him too. His fiancee seems to believe that complaining about him on a public forum is a better idea than simply talking to him, and that you'll magically die by 30 from eating junk food.
    crawl back I to your hole horrible girl she's asking for help not for someone to judge her don't comment if your not gunna say anything nice!
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    I'm worried about him too. His fiancee seems to believe that complaining about him on a public forum is a better idea than simply talking to him, and that you'll magically die by 30 from eating junk food.


    Did posting this make you feel better? Seriously........did it? Does it make you feel good to put someone else down? I dont think she was complaining about him as much as she was asking for new ideas of ways to talk to him about this. You need to take your little black crayola and go home til you can be nice.
  • britterbrittney
    britterbrittney Posts: 256 Member
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    I'm worried about him too. His fiancee seems to believe that complaining about him on a public forum is a better idea than simply talking to him, and that you'll magically die by 30 from eating junk food.

    You just gave the news anchor who talked about not bullying an "internet high five" on another thread and then was mean & rude here. :noway:

    To the original poster: Maybe help or suggest simple healthy changes? maybe go on walks together, or make a delish healthy din din for the both of y'all? Little changes can make a difference too!
  • charltonspinney
    charltonspinney Posts: 33 Member
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    He's got to make lifestyle choices himself , you can't change people , you can encourage him , by going out for walks together introducing more fruit into your diets , maybe having the odd healthy meal together , but the biggest thing is talking to him.

    Don't do it in a nagging way , but has been said in a loving way.When i was a kid my mUm and Dad used to smoke 40 a day each , i used to put things in my mothers cigarettes that would explode to try and make her give up......

    Nicotine addiction is a killer and a very expensive habit to pursue , my dad ended up having 2 heart bypass operations and sadly passed away this year.
  • charltonspinney
    charltonspinney Posts: 33 Member
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    Forgot to say ... Good luck!
  • britterbrittney
    britterbrittney Posts: 256 Member
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    He's got to make lifestyle choices himself , you can't change people , you can encourage him , by going out for walks together introducing more fruit into your diets , maybe having the odd healthy meal together , but the biggest thing is talking to him.

    Don't do it in a nagging way , but has been said in a loving way.When i was a kid my mUm and Dad used to smoke 40 a day each , i used to put things in my mothers cigarettes that would explode to try and make her give up......

    Nicotine addiction is a killer and a very expensive habit to pursue , my dad ended up having 2 heart bypass operations and sadly passed away this year.

    what, men don't like nagging? :noway: lol
  • missy_1975
    missy_1975 Posts: 244 Member
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    Haven't read other people's responses, so forgive me if I'm repeating. I work in rehab. I work with the families of those people battling with addictions, not just the individuals themselves. I'll tell you what I tell the families: You cannot change other people's behaviours by begging, threatening, bribing, cajoling, nagging or even violence.

    We can only be responsible for our own behaviours. He is a adult and therefore has the right to chose his lifestyle choices. You can either accept him as he is and hope that your healthy lifestyle becomes an inspiration for him, or leave him. Women the world over marry men so that they can change them. This puzzles me :noway: If you are not happy with his lifestyle now, I would ask you to think will you be happy when you're married?

    By the way I also speak from experience, my husband and I are like chalk and cheese in regards to exercise etc. I kinew this before I married him, so I accepted that I'd be happy with him as he was, and if decides to get into exercise etc then well and good. If not that's also ok, that's the man I married. :smile:

    I know it's hard not to worry about your other half, but it's always his choice. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • CahleePants
    CahleePants Posts: 3
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    My fiance' is one of those stick thin people that can eat whatever he wants but when he found out that I was trying to lose weight he said he would stop eating junk and be healthier. Partly because he knew that just because you're thin doesn't make you healthy but also as support to me.

    I dont know exactly how you could talk to him about it from that perspective, but I know that if I came home to my guy eating chocolate and chips I dont know how much I could resist.

    Maybe he'd be more open to change if it wasn't just for his health but to support you as well.
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
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    Why don't u pretend ur falling of the wagon and need that extra support of him and get him to go walking with u GET A DOG even betterhe wil have to walk then xxx
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
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    You're only 24. Dumb his lazy *kitten* and move on. Let him become somebody elses worry

    Problem solved
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
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    I have the same concerns about my boyfriend. He does not smoke, but he does not make healthy food choices nor does he exercise. I lead by example and he is doing better in the food department. I make it a point to tell him often how sexy I think he is. Then every once in a while I bring up my concern for his health and that I want a long healthy life with him. If he's dead, that will be hard to do (harsh, but true). He promised me he will get to the gym. I hope he keeps his word. We are in our mid-40's so it is more serious now. too many people our age are dropping dead.
  • britterbrittney
    britterbrittney Posts: 256 Member
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    You're only 24. Dumb his lazy *kitten* and move on. Let him become somebody elses worry

    Problem solved

    a lot of us were lazy *kitten* at one point. if she loves him, why should she give up on him?

    or still are :drinker:
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
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    You can only control one person, which is your self (of course children being an exception).

    In this scenario HE has to decide to change. He hasn't so there is NOTHING you can say to him

    to make him change.

    That being said, if you still choose to be with him you will have to accept him as he is.

    If you don't like that, you will have to move on.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
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    I dont know exactly how you could talk to him about it from that perspective, but I know that if I came home to my guy eating chocolate and chips I dont know how much I could resist.

    My partner avoided that issue last night by oh-so-kindly eating the entire box of mint thins before I got home from climbing. :grumble:

    I lie. There was one left in the box.
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
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    On a serious note

    You work in a hospital

    Bring him in and show him what his lifestyle can lead too
  • britterbrittney
    britterbrittney Posts: 256 Member
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    I record extreme makeover weightloss edition. I left them sitting there all summer bc I knew if I watched I would get motivated to lose weight, and well, I wasn't quite ready yet.

    Anyway, those kind of shows motivate me. Not just bc of the weightloss, but their journey. They make me think about my life and why I'm sitting my booty on the couch while everyone else is lapping me!
  • bob99
    bob99 Posts: 32 Member
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    Hm I'm sorry but you can't make him see your point of view, and an ultimatum like that would in my opinion kill the relationship ( he'd still eat n hide it from you etc). You are not his mother, at the end of the day it's his choice, talk to him give him an opinion but don't force it. He is only 24 an obviously got more growing up to do, if you had kids and you were worried about how it influenced their future eating you would have good cause but for now my advice is to leave him be.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    From your amazing weight loss and transformation, I'm sure you realized that no one could make, encourage, pressure, threaten, or scare you into change. Some day, a while ago, you made the decision to get heatlhy. You. Not anyone else. If you're a nurse, you probably saw it all and that didn't change you until now. So you know that there is nothing you can do to change another person. You can only change what you do in your life. If you love this person, you will stay with him and you will have to accept that this is the life he is choosing. Nagging will not work. HE has to want it. If he never does? You'll have to change what you are willing to accept or move on. Life is very short and I don't think you will be forever happy with someone who's lifestyle is in direct conflict with what you want for yourself now. You can't possible have things in common any more. It's ultimately your decision. I wish you the best. You have made such a huge upgrade on your future, DO NOT let anyone take that away from you! :flowerforyou:
  • bufger
    bufger Posts: 763 Member
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    I dont normally condone lying but:

    Tell him you had a 24 year old patient in today that had a heart attack and he was just like him so now you're really scared. Tell him you'll stay with him no matter what but you'd prefer for that to be for the next 50 years instead of 5. Do a bit of crying etc and he should get a bit of a wake up call.

    Dont do any of this whilst he's playing Call Of Duty because he wont hear any of it :)
  • britterbrittney
    britterbrittney Posts: 256 Member
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    Dont do any of this whilst he's playing Call Of Duty because he wont hear any of it :)

    ain't that the truth.

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