Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?
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Gary and Norma Smalley wrote a book in 1997 ~ It Takes Two to Tango. The devotional that I get each day from Crosswalk Loving Actions are meant sometimes for the husband and sometimes for the wife. They are small reminders of what being a Godly husband/wife looks like.
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I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:
The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.
Hope this helps.
^^^
Yes...I agree 100%0 -
The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?
First off I want to applauded you for coming here and asking this and wanting to improve your relationship with her. I would pray and ask the lord his thoughts on it.
I know what I would love my husband to do is. To look around our life and see where I might need help and help me. The smallest things help in the day to day. Like having the dishes done before I get home, or taking care of a something without me having to ask. But I think the biggest thing is to think spend time with me like we use to when we where first dating. To become one another’s best friend again.
Have you read the love dare book? It have a few things you can do to bring you closer.0 -
Do things that make her life easier or give her a moment for herself. Tell her you are making supper or cleaning up and taking care of the kids afterwards so she can have a bubble bath/go for a walk/read a book - whatever recharges her spirit. Compliments are wonderful but only when sincere, flowers and gifts are nice but you score real points for giving her extra time. No one ever says they have too much spare time!0
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I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:
The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.
Hope this helps.
This! Exactly!!0 -
Buy the book 5 love languages
You should both read it. Other than just learning the different languages, I thought it was interesting that the language you speak/give may not be the language you hear/need.
Edit to add -- the author is a Christian and recognizes that you should love your wife as Christ loved the church. This book answers exactly the question you asked.0 -
Give up your right!! - (I say this b/c that is what I'm focusing on as a wife right now.) In a marriage, I've learned that it's all about losing yourself and letting the other person win. When I decide to lay down my pride and say, "I'm sorry" or "You're right" it is amazing how that turns the whole situation around!!! Instead of us lashing back and forth going on and on and we're both not going to back down, just ask yourself, how much do I love her?? Does this even matter? and then say your sorry!
This is awesome advice for anyone who is married.0 -
Didn't read all the responses, so sorry if this is a repeat...but what's her love language? I copied the 5 languages below to give you an idea of them. Find her language speak to her in that language and you will say the three words without speaking them.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
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Nice question:)The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?
I want my husband to keep close in his relationship with God.
I want him to hear from the Lord, and follow His leading.
I want my husband to encourage my relationship with the Lord.
I want him to let me know how I can help him accomplish God's plans for us.
I want my husband to steer clear of temptation of other women ( like, flee temptation.)
I want him to seek me out regarding decisions he makes, and to hear my heart/mind on the matter, to strongly consider my input.
I want him to protect me (that's a big topic all by itself lol)
God bless you and your family!:)0 -
I think just helping around the house would be major for me. I'm the indoors keeper and he's the outdoors keeper around our house. (We both work full time and I commute 40 mins) That means I do all the cooking/cleaning/laundry/grocery shopping/etc. I would be elated to just once a week coming home and find him doing a load of laundry, or making dinner, or picking up the living room 0
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As a woman who is very happy with her husband, I can tell you that it means everything to my marriage that we are each other's best friend. When I am excited to go somewhere, I want him with me. When something good happens, I want to tell him. When something bad happens, I want his comfort. He's my friend first and my husband second. I know a ton of people who live with husbands and are unhappy. I don't know anyone who keeps a friend around that makes them miserable. That's why we put our friendship first. It keeps us close and the flame still burning. I'm sure my kids could deal with a little less spark between their dad and me. My 16 year old tells me all the time that she will need therapy for the countless numbers of times she has had to endure us kissing or being playful. I would much rather my kids need therapy because their parents had a fantastic relationship than the alternative.
That doesn't mean we are stuck to each others hips. We do things on our own and with other friends when we want. I just think activities are more fun when he's around.
If you can be her friend, you will have done your Christian duty.0 -
1. cut a hole in a box...
I lol'd.
I LOL'd Really damn loud! :laugh:
Edit: Looks like someone already mentioned the book...didn't read it all first.
But seriously, get this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-That-Lasts/dp/0802473156
Both of you read it, learn your "love languages". Each person shows and likes to be shown love in different ways. Taking the time to find out "What" makes your partner feel loved is the key. GOOD communication is always the best way to keep your relationship healthy.0 -
When she looks at you.
Does she know the world stops?
If she doesn't work a little harder!
I think so, when I kiss her, hold her or look at her a certain way, she say's, 'even after being married for 19 years you still give me butterflies in my stomach." Or something like that.0 -
A new vacuum cleaner or pan scrubber is a sure way to her heart.
If you really want to go all out perhaps offer to help her bring the food to the table. Not too often though or she'll start to expect it.
dudes-- seriously- I would love new fancy vacuums an dish scrubbies!! maybe not for an anniversary present, but for my birthday or Christmas or 'just becuase'- it would make my work all day that much easier. 'easing my workload' is 'showing love'- in my book.0 -
Nice question:)The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?
I want my husband to keep close in his relationship with God.
I want him to hear from the Lord, and follow His leading.
I want my husband to encourage my relationship with the Lord.
I want him to let me know how I can help him accomplish God's plans for us.
I want my husband to steer clear of temptation of other women ( like, flee temptation.)
I want him to seek me out regarding decisions he makes, and to hear my heart/mind on the matter, to strongly consider my input.
I want him to protect me (that's a big topic all by itself lol)
God bless you and your family!:)
^^^^ This^^^^0 -
The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?
I haven't read through the other responses. Here is my take.
First you will always fall short. you can not love your wife to that level. All you can do is keep trying and keep pushing to attain that level of love and dedication.
We as husbands are human and our wives our human. No one, especially Christians are perfect. We will fail miserably every time.
second, Dont guess. Learn your wife. Study her. Know her and give her what she needs before she needs it. Pretend like you dont have her yet. Like you are trying to win her heart before you were married. You hung on her every word and listened to things. that seem insignificant now. They aren't. Pay attention. Wives tend to want us to read their minds. They are clue droppers. They say things and do things in hopes that we are paying attention. Pay close attention. Eventually you will Begin to know your wife better then she knows herself. When that happens ....there wont be any guessing. And she will definitely notice you.
Give her attention. Give her romance. Surprise her with stupid little things. (those stupid little things are huge unstupid things)
That's my advice. Remember...Christ gave his life and took on the sin of the world for the church. That's the level you need to maintain. Overwhelming isn't it.0 -
I'll watch it again. It was awesome but I saw it years ago.Watch the movie Fireproof, some of the best advice you will get. Way to be trying, wish more men did0 -
When she looks at you.
Does she know the world stops?
If she doesn't work a little harder!
I think so, when I kiss her, hold her or look at her a certain way, she say's, 'even after being married for 19 years you still give me butterflies in my stomach." Or something like that.
awww...that is so sweet! Sounds like you are already doing it!0 -
Always serve each other. We always try to do things for the other person before they even ask for it. If he's going to reheat his coffee he will bring it over and reheat mine too. If i am leaving the room to go in the kitchen I will ask him if he needs anything while I'm up. And touching. Don't forget to touch each other as you pass by. Maybe a kiss or just a hand brushing against an arm or shoulder. Aboove all, be honest with each other in all you do.0
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A random text will work to with a "just thinking of you"...
Just did this, thanks. 0
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