Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?
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The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?
^^^^^^ you can start by not doing this! Then listen.0 -
Any kind of chores around the house is great. Depending on your money a trip to the salon to get either nails done or toes down.
How about giving her a massage. Rubbing her feet. Giving the kids a bath. If you can cook how about cooking and doing dishes for her even if it is Campbells soup just the thought. I like when my husband will fill the bath tub up with warm water and some bubble bath you can pick up some at the $1.00 store. Light a candle also you cal also pick one up at the $1.00 store. Taking the kids out for a few minutes outside or to the park is great too. How about letting her have a night out. Sometimes my friends can't arrange to meet up I don't mind going to a movie by myself. It can even be at a cheap theatre. We have one for $3.00. Give her a hug and tell her you love her and kiss every day. Call her during the day and tell her you love her. If you both have cell phones text her to say I love you.
Little things mean alot. Let her pick watch she wants to watch on the tv. If you have friends or relatives that can babysit for you for a few hours drop them off and have some time to yourself. Not everything has to be with money. Little things mean more to me than expensive items. I even giggle when my husband will bring me home my favorite candy bar. I get excited when my hubby will clean out my Suv and vacuum it and gas it up. I appreciate it if he offers to take my daughter to Girl Scouts.0 -
A lot of great replies on here.
I think the OP was really sweet to ask this question0 -
I've been married for 22 years, and would say that needs and expectations change over time, but in general:
1. Support and help her.
2. Modulate your voice, since male voices can sound unintentionally harsh.
3. Have fun together.
4. If you love her, and think she's beautiful, tell her that--OFTEN.
5. Choose your battles.0 -
editWhy are you asking us? There's like a ton of people on here with a ton of different views and feelings on how you should treat/love your wife. If youre a Christian then go to the Bible for your answers don't ask the internet.
To "chit-chat" about it???? You're a teenager (younger than 18, I suspect). Instead of being rude to the OP, why don't you read all the suggestions for future use?
OP- I love when my husband tells me he loves me in different ways instead of the same ol' "I love you". For example, he'll say, "You are the love of my life", "I've never been happier", "I'm in love with you, beautiful". Sometimes the different ways he tells me really make me feel it.0 -
EXACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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A new vacuum cleaner or pan scrubber is a sure way to her heart.
If you really want to go all out perhaps offer to help her bring the food to the table. Not too often though or she'll start to expect it.
lol, yeah dude. :laugh: Now this is something I've already tried. I'm sorry to report, it does not work.0 -
I have a full time job, a part time job, commute 4 hours a day and then must come home take care of my house, family and help with homework. So for me it's the little things that count like taking something out of the refrigerate to cook, asking if there is anything he can help me with when I don 't say I need help. As a Christian couple it is very important that we are on one accord as the bible states. When we start our day off praying together alot of the negative feelings and frustrations go out the window early. Every once in a while he does something small but very important to me like have my bath ran when I get home and already will have dinner prepared (if you can't cook do take out on a budget style) it works just as well. We understand that it's hard being the head of your family and doing so many other things to make things happen but just thank you and I love you goes a long way.0
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Humor her, even when you think her idea is stupid or won't work. (My husband hates to-do lists)
Never say I told you so.
Try not to correct her if it's not a big deal (My husband corrects my spelling after I have sent texts and it drives me nuts).
Show appreciation in everything! (My husband thanks me for every meal I cook, every load of laundry he sees me putting away, etc)
Remember, neither of you are or ever will be perfect. It takes a lot of hard work and committment to make a marriage work.0 -
double post0
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EXACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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I got married when I was a teenager and I learned very quickly that a marriage takes two. One person simply cannot do it alone. That husband was a good provider, but he thought he could keep me happy if he bought me things, no matter how despicable his behavior was. I made it 22 years, until the kids were grown, and escaped. Not bailed, escaped.
Two years later I remarried and although we've been together for 8 years, we are still on our honeymoon. Both he and I humor each other's every whim. My opinions count to each other and unless there is something we happen to feel strongly about, we give the other one their way all of the time. We both give 100%. Whenever we think something positive about each other, we tell each other....the goes on all day long. We joke with friends that we make them sick, but they all wish they had what we have.
I want a strong man, but I also want him to understand that I am a strong woman. I don't want him to stifle me, but I also don't want to stifle him. When it comes down to it, we're a team. We do have differences, but differences in opinions mean nothing. The fact that we always knows the other one loves us trumps everything, even during disagreements. We never tell each other no, but we also expect to be kept abreast of every decision that affects the other in any way and we always expect the other to make decisions that are good for the two of us, not just one. We trust each other to do that.
We NEVER say an ugly word or even a harsh word or tone of voice. We protect each other with all of our being, be it physically in a bad area or verbally with others. We never discuss the other's imperfections with anyone. We're both human and we accept that; neither of us are perfect. We completely look out for each other's best interest. We both will make huge sacrifices to make the other happy, but at the same time, neither of us will ask the other to sacrifice for us ever.
My husband and I have great communication and we love the feel of each others hand. We "pet", not saying sexually, each other all the time. We embrace often and one of us never leaves home without a loving hug and a kiss and a minute or two of intimacy....no quick pecks on the cheek and running out of the house. We both think the other is worth a few moments of our time before we leave. We revel in the blessing of each others love.0 -
The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her?
Yeah, and It also says wives are to submit to their husbands, as men shall submit to the Lord. So does she continously affirm that she will submit to you?
As for advice, it depends if you want the Christian or secular/practical perspective. (No, I am not Christian anymore.)
She does try, but like me, she does fall short. I cannot control her actions, I can only control my own. I need to make the change first and perhaps she will follow.0 -
EXACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:
The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.
Hope this helps.0 -
Buy the book 5 love languages
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Love her the way she need to be loved. There is no one size fit all here. For me Acts of Service is my love language.........for my bf is it physical touch. If I love him the way I want to be loved....it won't work because we do not speak the same love language.
^^^ This^^^ My husband and I read this and it really was great.
Things my husband does that makes me feel loved...
Helps around the house
tells me I am pretty
leave me love notes0 -
Make her sammiches.
Do the dishes.
Bring her a mixed drink when she's watching her favorite TV program, then rub her feet.
Keep her happy in bed.
Listen when she speaks.
That is all.
(Yes, I'm lampooning certain other threads in this forum today!)0 -
It depends on your wife. I suggest reading "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. You'll get plenty of ideas from that.0
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When women say "listen" what the hell are you talking about? I really think thats a woman's issue. I think if we stop talking in f**king code and beating around the bush, just be real and say what you think, then maybe, men wouldn't have to "listen". Come one people!0
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Honestly, ask her that question. Every woman is different. I would like my husband to romance me in all the cliched ways that you see in the movies. Cause yes...I am a hopeless romantic. I would also like him to declare his undying love for me to the world like I see some other men do. LOL.0
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From a Christ perspective...take a week and at night while the two of you are laying in the bed, I would read the word to her. I would start with the book Song of Songs...nice stuff. Afterall, you are commissioned to wash her in the word so what could be a greater action of love than reading her God's promises!
Excellent! You are right, I am commissioned to do that.0 -
She does try, but like me, she does fall short. I cannot control her actions, I can only control my own. I need to make the change first and perhaps she will follow.
Heh, I wasn't expecting this, but if so, that's pretty good.
I would ask - why do you think you are falling short? There must be some sort of problem that makes you think you are. What is it? Lack of sex? Fighting? Nagging?0 -
With 6 kids just help her out. I would be upset if my husband would put personal things on a public forum. I would next time talk to your Pastor, Priest etc for advice. There are many other things to do without making babies.0
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It depends on your wife. I suggest reading "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. You'll get plenty of ideas from that.
My husband and I read this book and the thing is to really be able to figure out your love languages in the first place and to take the time to actually do it for your partner. We each have a mixture. And its hard to figure out which is the dominating language. I guess we are just greedy and want it ALL. LOL0 -
See her. As you would a new painting, not a piece of furniture...0
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Give her the high, hard one. Always works for me...
I've got 6 children, I've got to be careful with that one...
Ahhh Catholic?0 -
This sounds sexist, and really old-fashioned, and I don't mean it to be either way (I'm a diehard tomboy myself). But over the years I've found that when the guy I love DOES things for me, i.e. laundry, dinner, tucks the kids in, cleans the bathroom... it takes such a huge load of stress off me and then I actually feel calm enough to be loving towards him. We're all so burdened by the daily tasks of life, and if someone helps lift those burdens a bit it's amazing how we open up to each other.
Also, compliments are so important. Women know that you find us pretty, sexy, sweet, etc. But we need to hear it sometimes.
And finally, for the ladies - both of the above things are true for men too - they need help w/ stuff to ease stress and they need compliments too. Just let 'em get those jars open and kill the spiders, so they don't feel less-than-manly.
Agree. Helping out is a big thing thing. Bringing home flowers without a reason. Back or foot rubs.0 -
Just the want to love, as you have shown, would be enough.
Women just need to know, we are more emotional creatures than men (literally, in our brains- study done) we need to feel loved.
Have you ever read "The Five Love Languages"? It could help you with this, since we all feel love, and express it, in different ways.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/0 -
Hold her hand when you're doing something mundane like watching tv together.
Find ways to touch her often (I'm not talking about walking up and grabbing or smacking her *kitten* while she's cooking, I mean like touching her hair, her face, rubbing her arm)
Hug her for no reason. Hold her tight and make it last for several minutes.
Plan something special for just the two of you, like a picnic or a special dinner that YOU cook and clean up0 -
Get the book "the 5 love languages" figure out hers and go with it.
^^^ This. Each person is different. It won't matter what we say, you need to figure out what her love language is, capitalize on that (but make sure not to neglect the others because there is still a balance than needs to be in place) And most importantly, develop your relationship with God first and foremost....the better your relationship with Him, the better your relationship with your wife because as you grow in Christ, what you learn and how you change will affect how you treat your wife as well. :flowerforyou: I can always tell when my husbands' walk with God is strong and when it is weak by the way he interacts with me and with our kids. The two seem to go hand in hand and it's not something you can fake.
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Look around the house, see what needs to be done, and do it. I swear some guys think there is a magic fairy that just takes care of everything. Now, you may not be that guy. But if you look around and you can't see what needs to be done, ask her what you can do. Most wives have two full time jobs these days. First they work all day, then they are almost exclusively expected to manage the household. Yes, that is a generalization. And for those men who do not allow that to happen to their wives, my apologies.
But if you really want to show your wife you love her, it isn't the words you say or the flowers you buy or the gift cards you give her for massages and manicures, etc. She needs you to vacuum, dust, replace the toilet paper roll, give the kids a bath, clean the tub, and do some dishes. And then not act like you've done her a huge favor by doing so. It's your house too!
I appreciate that you read the bible and know that there's more to that chapter than "women submit to your husbands".0
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