Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?

OBXbound4me

This sounds sexist, and really old-fashioned, and I don't mean it to be either way (I'm a diehard tomboy myself). But over the years I've found that when the guy I love DOES things for me, i.e. laundry, dinner, tucks the kids in, cleans the bathroom... it takes such a huge load of stress off me and then I actually feel calm enough to be loving towards him. We're all so burdened by the daily tasks of life, and if someone helps lift those burdens a bit it's amazing how we open up to each other.

Also, compliments are so important. Women know that you find us pretty, sexy, sweet, etc. But we need to hear it sometimes.

And finally, for the ladies - both of the above things are true for men too - they need help w/ stuff to ease stress and they need compliments too. Just let 'em get those jars open and kill the spiders, so they don't feel less-than-manly.

**THIS**

PantalaNagaPampa

Never call her the "B" word. B!TCHES hate to be called the "B" word.

downsizinghoss

a vacuum too? what is this? her birthday?

Lize11e

Touch her. Not in THAT way (well, sometimes) When you're sitting in the living room watching TV, rub her feet sometimes. If she's sitting at the table making out the bills, rub her shoulders. Come up behind her in the kitchen while she's cooking and wrap your arms around her from behind and hold her a minute and tell her you love her. Surprise her by doing one of her housework chores for her sometime without her asking you, just pick one and do it for her. We need to be SHOWN that we are loved and appreciated. Not just told. When it's cold outside, you might even crank the car for her and let it be warm when she leaves for work. Surprise her by taking her to a ballet or a museum or to hear the orchestra is she likes any of that. If you're not sure, find a show and ask her if she would like to see it. We adore the little things. If nothing else, the foot rubbing and hugs and shoulder rubs will definitely get you multiple brownie points.

magj0y

I just saw that you have six kids.

Watch (do not ever say "I'll babysit the kids while you...." EVER. NEVER) the kids while she goes out for some down time.
buy her a few books and send her to a hotel that has a jacuzzi tub. let her chill for the day, get a sitter and join her for dinner.

a fall foliage drive will be early this year, something you guys could do. Hit up the finger lake region for some wine tasting?

cline7310

I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

Hope this helps.

WHAT SHE SAID!!!

TheFinalThird

To listen.

Oh no.... ANYTHING but that!

sheleen302

Buy the book 5 love languages

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Love her the way she need to be loved. There is no one size fit all here. For me Acts of Service is my love language.........for my bf is it physical touch. If I love him the way I want to be loved....it won't work because we do not speak the same love language.

This is EXACTLY the right answer. That book totally opened my eyes. Now, if my husband would read it!

Vincentsz

1. Do the dishes
2. Put the seat down and do not pee on it.
3. Agree, does not matter if you don't.
4. See attractive woman on street, make critism about her to the wife.

Thats a starter program

REALLY? Any insecurities?

Dude Don't listen to this crap.

Do this instead.

Make attempts to, without reason other than your feelings for her, let her know you love her. A small note text or call saying "I Love you" usually works

Before you leave for work Give her a hug! Hold her longer that usual.

Say thank you! And mean it!

Let her know you love her now as much as you ever did. Explain that sometime work responsibilities and bills make you forget to remind her of that!

Set one day of the month where it's just for the both of you. An anniversary of sorts. It helps to bring you closer together.

sicoe17

Do this. I would suggest using correct grammar also, but that's just me.

That's freaking great.

Captain_Tightpants

Small, even-pressure, circular motions.

gigglemachine

For me, it's the little things that make me feel loved;

- bringing me cups of coffee and hot chocolate
- asking how my day was and listening even if he's not interested
- suprising me with a home cooked meal or taking me out every so often
- getting a film for us to watch and cosy up on the sofa
- getting up early at the weekend to go buy my favourite newspaper and yummy breakfast foods for breakfast in bed
- joining me in my hobbies sometimes or asking about them and seeming interested
- talking and listening to me when i seem upset or angry or not myself

there's loads more too.

Just out of interest, are you sure it is you that is falling short or are your wifes expectations too high? Marriage is a two way process, you both need to work at it.

janlee_001

The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?

Ephesians 5

You got the first part down - you need to show.

Listen - it's crucial - don't just hear but listen deeply. Know her needs, wants and act on them without being asked.

Communicate - don't tell white lies to appease her (we see right through that and it irks us)

Set a Godly example.

Also have you heard of the 5 love languages? It would help to know hers.
Treat her like a lady - open car/building doors

bii14

I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

Hope this helps.

yes yes yes!

TxAngel79

I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

Hope this helps.

This!!

GorillaEsq

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'm pretty sure "Please don't discuss the intimate details of our personal life on a public Internet forum" is probably high on her list.






(Typos)

laarae

I have been married to my husband 26 years and when he does little things like surprise me with flowers, or has dinner ready when I get home from my workout, fills my car up with gas, always kisses me good morning, good bye, good night, lets me pick what we are watching on TV, does stuff he hates to do (go dancing) gives me encouragement on all goals, thanks me, many other also, these are the things I cherish about him.

bcattoes

Women are different so the answers you get will vary. I'd suggest you judge her reaction to the things you do. If she smiles or blushes, do that more often. If she breathes a heavy sigh or rolls her eyes, best not to do that too often.

And for goodness sake, if she has made a special effort to doll herself up for an occasion, act as if the most glamorous woman in the world just walked in the room when you see her. Even if you don't like the dress.

philOHIO

Keep out of the way when Tom visits!

megalin9

I second and third and fourth the 5 Love Languages book. It's on my list of things to read, as well.

Personally, I feel loved when my husband is affectionate, which is he is not, and when he tells me I'm beautiful, which he does not....but he realizes it's something I need, and he's working on it. I also feel loved when he takes out the trash without having to be asked, when he picks up the kids' toys in the living room without being asked, when he communicates with me about anything and everything, when he volunteers to pick our kids up from school, when he supports my fitness efforts by watching the kids so I can go for a run, when he laughs at something I say or do, when he works his *kitten* off to support our family. I don't need gifts or surprises, but I love getting flowers for our anniversary/birthday/Valentine's Day.