Mean Girls @ the Gym

nofailureallowed

So I started working out at a new gym with a trainer I LOVE but in the daily bootcamp there is a group of girls who are..well I'll say mean girls. They huddle together and giggle, and when I ask questions about a workout they basically ignore me. Now, my trainer is amazing and makes me feel comfortable but these chicks are about 1 strike way from me saying something to them...and not in a polite way. I know people will say ignore them and believe me I am..its just hard. I'm heavier than them and when I cant go as long as they can in certain workouts they laugh or shake their head when the trainer comes over to help me. Oh and by the way these chicks are grown *kitten* women! What to do? I'm not going to let some *kitten* chicks run me out of a good gym but I do need help on how to deal with it.

Thanks!

likearadiowave

You do nothing but feel sorry for them because they're obviously not past a high school-level mentality.

selkins90

You do nothing but feel sorry for them because they're obviously not past a high school-level mentality.

Agree with this. Unfortunately life is full of mean people who never get past high school mentally. Just realize that you can lose weight, improve your health and your life but they will always be the same "mean girls".

okidoki7

i would say ignore them,but i know in reality i wouldnt be able to, even to the point of i would probably stop going, yes im that silly !! lol...

just try your hardest to zone out when it comes to them, do not even look in their direction...smash each workout and feel proud of yourself, you're clearly the better person in that gym...x

bakenatj

Stay positive, use it as motivation. Nothing would shut them up if you keep working hard and some day come in looking way better than them. Always use positive motivation even with negativity. Losing weight is mostly mental, conquered that and you will win.

SarahCW1979

Call them out on it, ask them if it makes them feel superior as human beings to behave like children and try to make you feel uncomfortable.
People who do that really boil my p!ss, dont let them ruin bootcamp for you x x

SarahCW1979

Stay positive, use it as motivation. Nothing would shut them up if you keep working hard and some day come in looking way better than them. Always use positive motivation even in with a negative. Losing weight is mostly mental, conquered that and you will win.

^^ and what he said :flowerforyou:

tracymat

I know it would be hard for me, but ignore them and use them as motivation to push harder. If you say something to them, I feel like it's just going to fuel their fire because they know they got to you!

secretlobster

You're not there to socialize, are you? Who gives a crap what they do? Why are you even trying to talk to them?

And yes, it's hard to ignore them. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you say something to them, they'll gang up on you, mock you even more, and make life worse for you. You won't feel better for it.

If I was being bullied like that at a gym I'd take my business elsewhere

ashstarz

Don't pay attention to them and ask the instructor. Become close with the instructor and bring some of your own friends to the bootcamp!

sunshinesquared

Stay positive, use it as motivation. Nothing would shut them up if you keep working hard and some day come in looking way better than them. Always use positive motivation even with negativity. Losing weight is mostly mental, conquered that and you will win.

^^This...well said! Don't let them get to you....YOU are much better than that!

misskgb

Kill them with kindness! Seriously, nothing shuts people up or makes them realize they are being a d-bag quicker than laughing it off with them or just smiling genuinely at them. They want to see you be upset or rattled, when you don't give that to them they SHOULD move on. Hope it helps!

francesiax

When they giggle or stare again, give them a dirty look and continue. Just make sure that you don't end up leaving or saying something to them. By just giving them a look it shows that you know what they are doing but that it won't have an effect on you or your mental and physical abilities for the worse. It will just make you stronger.

secretlobster

Actually I want to change my response. Just murder them.

MrsNina1972

BEAT THEIR *kitten*!!! Lol just kidding! Seriously ignore them because you are not there to make friends (not those kind anyway), get in and get out. Focus on you and getting your workout in, they will eventually run into someone that will handle them.

nofailureallowed

Thanks everyone! You are all right..I'm going to just buckle down and work my *kitten* off! Get in and get out!

crazybookworm

I unfortunately had the same issue, but mine was just with one girl, not a group of girls. I let it go for a while, but eventually I got sick of it. The gym is a place I go to get healthy and to workout. Enough with the "High school" Drama. I was sick of her starring and stink eye, so I just casually walked up to her, with a smile on my face and asked if there was something I could help her with. She was taken aback and just nodded no. I then just told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped starring. Since then, I have had zero issues with her. We actually smile at each other when we see each other at the gym now. I wasn't rude at all, I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't going to let her childish games effect me.

Also, I know this may seem like "telling" but if you don't feel comfortable approaching them yourself. Just tell the associates at the gym. Just say "Hey, there is this group of girls, that are starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I'd figure I let you know first, instead of me handling the issue myself" The associates won't rat you out either, they will just say that there have been complaints with their behaviour in the class.

Good luck! And in the grand scheme, use it to your benefit as motivation!

peuglow

Honestly, in the real world, there will be ****ty people and nice people. I'm assuming there are a few nice ones in the class, how about gravitating towards them?

Like I said, it's the real world, not everyone plays nice.

jen10st

Kill them with kindness! Seriously, nothing shuts people up or makes them realize they are being a d-bag quicker than laughing it off with them or just smiling genuinely at them. They want to see you be upset or rattled, when you don't give that to them they SHOULD move on. Hope it helps!

This ^^^^ there is nothing more frustrating for *****y little girls than knowing they can't get to you. Trust me I've done this, watch their faces fall when you smile at them and laugh at yourself because I guarantee they struggled just as much as you when they started bootcamp.

KBUnleashed

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and believe me, I've been in the same position as you.....

Are you sure they are giggling about you? I am a die-hard Zumba girl and we have a group of normal ladies that attend (and we've been together over 1 year). We stand in a group sometimes before class and giggle but NEVER about anyone at the gym. We also exchange looks in class but it's not about anyone in particular...sometimes it's about a song we are all sick of hearing or whatever.

If you are 100% SURE they are talking about you, address it. Otherwise, please don't assume that they are saying anything about you or they are "mean girls". Keep on working out and keep on going to class. They don't own the gym and you have every right to be there for your body and your life! Good luck!!!

BinaryPulsar

Girls like that seek out a vulnerability in other women and they will treat any woman that way, so don't feel like it is because you are bigger than them. They likely would treat you the same way even if you were smaller/fitter. They just respond that way to anything that seems different in another person and when they see new people they act that way. That's what I think. I'm small and fit... and girls like that sometimes act that way towards me as well. I'm not going to analyze them because I have better things to do with my life. But, in my experience of having to be around people like that at jobs, etc, I have found that girls that act that way are generally not very intelligent or successful in most areas of life, so they act that way out of their own insecurity (that they are either not aware of or would not admit) about their own failings. I just say that because I've had jobs with gossipy girls and had to listen (but never respond) and the things they would talk about behind people's backs was always stuff about how that person thinks they are so smart, but they just have book smarts and not common sense (and many variations on that same tired and absurd theme that follows no actual truth or logic). Then when their guard was down and they would be talking to one another I would hear things about how really sad their lives were (and how trapped they felt and couldn't do anything about it). So, when they were putting people down, they didn't need to think about what was wrong in their own lives (either that or they were so lacking in depth & personal interests/curiosities they just didn't have anything better to talk about, so they needed to generate gossip). I am not intending for this response to be judgmental. It was just a quiet observation I had when I was stuck in close quarters at a job with girls that behaved that way. I was happy in my life, and I did not feel any need to gossip and put people down, so I just kept quiet (also I never agreed with the things they would say). And surely on the days I was not there they talked about me too because they were very predictable people. I didn't care, though. It was a temporary job for me. I moved on and they didn't.

nofailureallowed

I'm %100 sure. I plan on just addressing it today.

I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and believe me, I've been in the same position as you.....

Are you sure they are giggling about you? I am a die-hard Zumba girl and we have a group of normal ladies that attend (and we've been together over 1 year). We stand in a group sometimes before class and giggle but NEVER about anyone at the gym. We also exchange looks in class but it's not about anyone in particular...sometimes it's about a song we are all sick of hearing or whatever.

If you are 100% SURE they are talking about you, address it. Otherwise, please don't assume that they are saying anything about you or they are "mean girls". Keep on working out and keep on going to class. They don't own the gym and you have every right to be there for your body and your life! Good luck!!!

Lauren8239

I unfortunately had the same issue, but mine was just with one girl, not a group of girls. I let it go for a while, but eventually I got sick of it. The gym is a place I go to get healthy and to workout. Enough with the "High school" Drama. I was sick of her starring and stink eye, so I just casually walked up to her, with a smile on my face and asked if there was something I could help her with. She was taken aback and just nodded no. I then just told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped starring. Since then, I have had zero issues with her. We actually smile at each other when we see each other at the gym now. I wasn't rude at all, I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't going to let her childish games effect me.

Also, I know this may seem like "telling" but if you don't feel comfortable approaching them yourself. Just tell the associates at the gym. Just say "Hey, there is this group of girls, that are starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I'd figure I let you know first, instead of me handling the issue myself" The associates won't rat you out either, they will just say that there have been complaints with their behaviour in the class.

Good luck! And in the grand scheme, use it to your benefit as motivation!

What you did was absolutely brilliant. Just wanted you to know that. :flowerforyou:

ForeverChasingTheSunsets

The best way to get back at them is stay positive. Walk in there with a big smile and hello. Show them that you are better than them. Your gym membership is no less than theirs! Keep pushing because you are worth it. You'll be at their level soon.

Edited to add... In fact, I totally respect anyone who walks into a gym for the first time and the first few weeks because it takes a lot of courage to do it. It's the first step of the rest of your life. )

nofailureallowed

I'm going to do just that...I've been trying to avoid approching them but it seems like I'm going to. I just find it annoying. Thanks alot!

I unfortunately had the same issue, but mine was just with one girl, not a group of girls. I let it go for a while, but eventually I got sick of it. The gym is a place I go to get healthy and to workout. Enough with the "High school" Drama. I was sick of her starring and stink eye, so I just casually walked up to her, with a smile on my face and asked if there was something I could help her with. She was taken aback and just nodded no. I then just told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped starring. Since then, I have had zero issues with her. We actually smile at each other when we see each other at the gym now. I wasn't rude at all, I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't going to let her childish games effect me.

Also, I know this may seem like "telling" but if you don't feel comfortable approaching them yourself. Just tell the associates at the gym. Just say "Hey, there is this group of girls, that are starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I'd figure I let you know first, instead of me handling the issue myself" The associates won't rat you out either, they will just say that there have been complaints with their behaviour in the class.

Good luck! And in the grand scheme, use it to your benefit as motivation!

TriClaudia

I so agree with killing them with kindness. An undeserved smile goes a long way. It also communicates that you are not intimidated.

I have to disagree with the get in/get out philosophy. Whether you are intimidated or not, it appears you are. My gym is on a college campus and is dominated by students. I am neither their age, nor their body type. While my experience doesn't include the blatant disrespect that your situation involves, I have had to deal with the intimidation I felt as a middle aged woman who needs two of the gym's towels to cover up in the locker room. All of that said, I found that as I expanded my boundaries and claimed my space -- in a body pump class, on a bike in spin class and embraced asking for help, I felt all the more entitled to take up the space.

So I say, smile, stake your claim, get all the help from the trainer you can, and stay for as long as you want. Maybe make a few other friends in the process. You pay for your membership. OWN it.

nofailureallowed

Thanks again everyone! I'm going to address it, honestly I tried to avoid it because I can be a bit rude if I'm annoyed or feel attacked. But in this case I'll approch it as nicely as I can..I'll update you on how it goes! LOL

HeavyLiftGirl

Prove them wrong by working harder. Lose your weight and kick *kitten*, and then show them how much hotter you are compared to them! Knock their biitchy socks off!
For now though-- kill them with kindness.

GTOgirl1969

Some people never take it out of high school, do they?

Whatever you do, don't do what I did: whip the ringleader's *kitten* in the parking lot. :laugh:

Gilbrod

Kill them with kindness! Seriously, nothing shuts people up or makes them realize they are being a d-bag quicker than laughing it off with them or just smiling genuinely at them. They want to see you be upset or rattled, when you don't give that to them they SHOULD move on. Hope it helps!

I concur

wrevhn

every gym, every class has them. You got to learn to stand proud and ignore the mean ppl in your life. its them, not you. they have the problem.