family doesnt support me is it worth it?
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You can do this. You just have to want it. It really doesn't matter in the long run if they support you in your goal. You make this happen. Once you start seeing results, they will start seeing it too.
It was like that for me until the first 30 fell off. Then, my guys (all men in this household except for me) were on board and kept the "sweet snacks" out of my reach (I'm also the shortest one). 109 pounds later, you better believe I counted on me and I believed that this time was different.
You can do this! Really, you can do this!0 -
I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't supporting you... it does hurt emotionally no matter how hard you try to block it. Ultimately though, this journey is for you and you alone. Next time they see you exercising ask them if they want to join in... if they say no just smile, shrug, and keep going.
Also, a tip from someone who has lost the weight... always remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. There will be times when you only lose a pound, or your weight *gasp* goes up, or you stall out for weeks at a time. The way to do it is one pound at a time. When you see "1 lb lost" on the scale, smile and be HAPPY because that is great! Its a test of patience. It is also a great learning experience. Sure you learn about diet and fitness, but you also learn a heck of a lot about yourself along the way! Have fun
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It's tough, and I bet most of your family is overweight. If so, chances are they secretly rooting for you to fail. They don't want to see you lose weight, and lead a healthy life style because then they have one less excuse. I was hoping to lead the charge and be the one who got healthy in my house, it didn't happen. It took me a while to realize that I shouldn't give a **** what they think, or if they followed in my footsteps. I quit smoking, and dropped this weight for me, not them. Sure, I'm sad they haven't done the same, but that's their choice. I made mine.
High cholesterol and diabetes runs in my family. Everyone just assumes we have **** genetics. That's what I thought. Had high trigs, and was on my way to diabetes. Until I got blood work done a few months after I had started on my diet. Even with me still 45 pounds overweight I had a clean bill of health. Normal numbers. I think that's when I realized I only had control over my own life. Everyone still believed that it was all genetics and nothing they could do about it. Even though I was there, the contradiction, staring them in the face. They have to know it's not genetics...I'm proof, but they wish to continue their bad habits. That's up to them, but I won't let it stand in my way. Now, I can't wait to go get my blood drawn. I'm actually excited about my lab work coming in for the first time ever.
Best of luck to you, and try to continue despite their crap attitude. A cheap gym worked for me. See if there are any planet fitness nearby. Anyone can afford them at $10/month(no contract). Sure it's not the greatest gym, and a lot of people give them crap but if you are just doing cardio and light weights it can't be beat for the price.0 -
Gosh, I used to feel the same. I'd wait until everyone was out or asleep.
You could try working out in a room away from everyone, or while they are out. And go for brisk walks, you'll get no funny looks and it's good excersize. You'll regret quitting a year from now, so stay strong0 -
If your family isn't supportive, see if you have any friends from work who would be your support. I see you're a Nurse, so I would bet that you know someone who would be glad to be there when you need someone. I agree that is doing the videos when they are around makes you uncomfortable then walking might be a good option. Find something you like doing so much that you don't care who's looking..for me that is Zumba..and I have 2 left feet and no rhythm but love it so much that when I finish my workout, I'm already planning when I can go again. You can Friend me if you want a cheerleader on here:happy: :happy:0
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Don't listen to your family, listen to the GREAT advice here! You count, you are worth it, and you'll have the last laugh. Hang in there, you can do it. This is a great place for support!0
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This seems the same thing I went through...No family support..Would get depressed and cave in...Been a week on mfp and past 2 days been difficult still learning....But I believe I can conquer this with friends from this site...So can you...After awhile the family gets to you....So keep in there you'll be great...0
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what other people think of you, is none of your business....
Get on with it and do this for you, and no one else...0 -
I feel ashamed when I work out to the point of not doing it if someone is in the house. I am 100+ over weight and I know I need to loose it but it's hard when I am the only one doing it. And I get looked at like there is a giant cow having a seizer in the house when im working out. So tired of going it alone. In only 15 days in and ready to quit.
Do not feel ashamed about doing something that is physically right for you. Working out is not something to be ashamed of.
No one is pretty when they work out, and if they are, they're probably doing it wrong. There's nothing wrong with looking like a giant cow having a seizure. If you do it enough, you'll look like a fairy princess having a seizure.
Don't quit. You're worth it.0 -
My husband and my daughter mocked and dismissed my efforts for about the first month. Once my husband saw I was serious and didn't give a crap what he thinks, and he started seeing the results on my body, he started changing his tune. He went from mocking, to tolerating, to now supporting me. And my daughter tells me how proud she is. I think it freaks families out when you try to change yourself somehow, especially if you are in a huge "caregiver" role. It's like, "Oh no. Mom is taking care of HERSELF for once. OMG, maybe some attention will be taken away from US. And maybe the chips and cookies and nice homecooked meals will STOP! Let's panic." I don't know, that's my psychological analysis of it all. Lol.
^^ THIS ^^ Hang in there and don't let their rude comments/actions dissuade you! Take care of YOU, so you can be here to take care of THEM in the long run.0 -
Can you work out in your bedroom even if you have to move some furniture around? How about in the back yard with some music? What about walking or going to the local YMCA? I would feel the same way. It's hard to ignore people when you think they're judging you. Make a new plan and find new places to work out. Don't let anyone keep you from improving yourself. Who knows you could be an excellent inspiration to them one day. Please don't give up.0
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Nina, Don't quit! who cares what others think. You have to do this for you and if your ready to do it for you then don't let anything stop you. I promise you that you will not regret it IF this is want you want for yourself. I always wanted to be skinner but it didn't start to happen until I started to change my habits and lifestyle FOR ME and ONLY ME. I just started MFP a few days ago so your probably thinking what the heck am I talking about. I have lost 96 with Weight Watchers in the last yr. YOU CAN DO THIS!0
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My family would always talk down on me when they teased me about having a "health kick". Now they all ask me for advice.0
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F*** everyone else. If I didn't have my MFP friends I wouldn't get any support either. Just do what you need to do. They'll all shut up once you start getting big results. Then they'll be asking you what you've been doing. Then you can laugh.0
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I think you have to ask yourself:
- what are my MY motivations for working out?
- do these looks matter in the grand scheme of things?
- will the results be worth my efforts: and how will I benefit?
Okay, enough of the Dr. Phil sermon. lol0 -
Don't give up.
Forget what they have to say! It's totally worth it.0 -
My husband was HORRIBLE every time and I would use his attitude as my reason to quit time after time but then about a year and a half ago I just quit letting his opinion matter. He tried his hardest to sabotage me and I just would not give in. He'd bring home my favorite foods and eat them in front of me...bring it home especially for me and try to guilt me into eating it. It was stupid ridiculous.
This went on for about 4 months and by then I'd lost 50 pounds and people started noticing and complimenting...he's been (mostly) supportive ever since and I have broken free from needing his approval.
Win/Win.
You are worth this whether anyone in your family realizes that or not. Don't give up!0 -
Some people will stay on welfare bc they were raised on it. Some will have the drive to work. Some people will drink bc they were raised by an alcoholic. Some people will be determined not to be controlled by a substance. Some people will abuse others bc they were abused. Some people will break the cycle.
Likewise, some people are raised in a fat family eating bad foods and being sedentary--so they stay that way. Others have the gumption to change.
It's hard to get and stay fit. It's hard to stay fat. Pick your hard.0 -
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Some people will stay on welfare bc they were raised on it. Some will have the drive to work. Some people will drink bc they were raised by an alcoholic. Some people will be determined not to be controlled by a substance. Some people will abuse others bc they were abused. Some people will break the cycle.
Likewise, some people are raised in a fat family eating bad foods and being sedentary--so they stay that way. Others have the gumption to change.
It's hard to get and stay fit. It's hard to stay fat. Pick your hard.
Excellent advice!0 -
My husband and my daughter mocked and dismissed my efforts for about the first month. Once my husband saw I was serious and didn't give a crap what he thinks, and he started seeing the results on my body, he started changing his tune. He went from mocking, to tolerating, to now supporting me. And my daughter tells me how proud she is. I think it freaks families out when you try to change yourself somehow, especially if you are in a huge "caregiver" role. It's like, "Oh no. Mom is taking care of HERSELF for once. OMG, maybe some attention will be taken away from US. And maybe the chips and cookies and nice homecooked meals will STOP! Let's panic." I don't know, that's my psychological analysis of it all. Lol.
Yep, this!! I think families really participate in their health TOGETHER. They eat the same things, do the same activities (working out or not), etc. When one person starts doing something different, especially if it is BETTER, it makes everyone a little uncomfortable.
This is for YOU. This is your journey, nobody else. This is your effort alone, and you will reap the benefits alone. Don't let their words have any weight for you, because YOU are the only one who has the right to say anything good or bad about what you're doing, because YOU are the one doing it! You can do it, and it IS worth it.0 -
Don't worry about what the people in ur family think or say. Just workout when they r not around. If u can go for walks outside, not only will u get ur exercise but u will also releive some stress that they r causing. When ur eating meals with them just try & eat as healthy as u can & watch ur portions. If they say anything u can either tell them u r trying to better urself or u r not hungry to eat anymore. I was eating a meal with my sister-in-laws & my mother-in-law, my one sister-in-law is the only one out of the 4 of us who has spent her whole life eating good & exercising so she wouldn't end up looking like her mom. My other sister-in-law who had her stomach stapled & has been gaining weight back after only about a year (she is gaining slowly so she isn't fat again yet). For breakfast I had fruit, we're having lunch & I split a small salad with her, she had soup or something else small, then I shared a Sunday with my M-I-L & the S-I-L that had the tummy tuck started giving me a hard time about how I ruined my diet by eating the ice cream & started giving all her knowledge about weight loss as she orders herself an ice cream. Mind u she is saying how bad anything with sugar is & she cant & doesn't eat sugar cuz of the tummy tuck. Then we go to pay the bill & she buys some different candies for her daughter, but eats them all before we even drive to the movies. Then for dinner she has chips & dip & I don't want to eat it cuz it's high in cal so she says that the reason I'm not eating it is cuz I don't like any green veggies which is not true at all. I eat another small salad & a diet coke, she ordes a meal & an additional side along with the chips & dip & 2 alcohol drinks. But yet I'm the one who isn't eating right. Plus I'm a lot taller than her & maybe I should be eating more than her but she always eats more than me. So screw what other people say & do whenever they r trying to put u down in any way. Just know that what u r doing is to better urself. What I have found with this site is there r lots of people who will support u in ur journey here & they r going through what u r so they r very helpful. So get a good friend base on here & just try to ignor ur family as much as u can & look here for ur support group. Don't give up! Make a small goal just to improve ur health, then work up from there as ur friends here help u & when u stRt seeing a difference u can smile knowing that ur family is jealous! Good luck!0
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The only opinion worth bothering with about you , is your own! When you are slim and happy you can enjoy the green eyed monster they will feel because they do not have your strength of character to stick to a healthy regime!0
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I am sure your changes are getting noticed and watched, but let's analyze the motives behind the watchers here. Do you think they are really thinking "she looks ridiculous" or is it possible they're thinking "how long is this going to last" or "wow, this means a lot to mom. Weird." If its the "how long is this going to last", the watching will decrease as it goes on. If it's the last option, they're looking at you with a grudging respect, and that's going to turn to the real thing as you continue. No matter the cause, in time, this will either be old news, or they'll get on board.
It's easy when we feel ridiculous to think that everyone else sees you as ridiculous. It ain't always so. Surprisingly often, onlookers are merely curious, or admiring, or just plain oblivious. I feel ridiculous exercising at home, myself. I end up doing it at the gym, mostly. However, I've had to do more exercise at home since my surgery, and it still feels weird. But I ignore that. I think it's somehow easier with people you don't know. You might give it a try if doing it at home doesn't help. But do think about whether your family is looking on meanly, or in a spirit of curiosity or even admiration.0 -
I feel ashamed when I work out to the point of not doing it if someone is in the house. I am 100+ over weight and I know I need to loose it but it's hard when I am the only one doing it. And I get looked at like there is a giant cow having a seizer in the house when im working out. So tired of going it alone. In only 15 days in and ready to quit.
I know how you feel. Most of my family didn't support me and I started out hiding in my room exercising in private because of the ridicules. I even kept my new and healthy eating habits and the decision to lose weight a secret for about 2 months. It was only when my father asked if I had been trying to lose weight because he could see a change. Thats when I opened up and and said yes i was and explained what I had been doing. My mother still mock due for months until i could fit into her clothes and she couldn't. That was a sweet victory. The main point is I was so determined that even though I got 'picked' on by family members I found that I was making the decision to improve myself and I was the only one who mattered. Yes it is hard with little to no support but I used that inner mongrel in me and bit down hard. In the end you will have the last laugh because you WILL succeed if you LET yourself succeed. Don't give up. They will see the changes and go "Oh maybe we were too hard on her"0 -
^ This..sweety...pay no mind to them! This journey is for you and about you. It will always be you vs. you. Many will ask you why you do it, but eventually they will ask you how you did it! Be the example you want to set! Don't quit!0 -
revenge. will the come around? maybe? maybe not! who cares? use it. work out harder when they mock you. when the weight starts coming off.. and they say something.. smirk.. smile and nod.. when they REALLY start noticing it.. just smile.. in the back of your head, call them f**kers and keep smiling.. then, when all of a sudden they wanna act like they had a part in it, leave those ba*t*rds in the wind with a fart!!
THIS. Ahahahahahahha you can doooo it!! Lol if only there was MFP camp we could all go to for a month and ditch our lives for the time being while we improve. xD 0 -
I'm also feeling very selfcontious when working out, it's one of the reasons I prefer working out at home vs at a gym. I work out in the mornings before everyone else wakes up, I enjoy the peace and quiet, the time for myself. I'm doing this for a couple of months now and must say that by now I feel much more comfortable doing "my thing". Even when others are around. I'm not saying I'm willing to workout in front of an audience, but I don't mind anymore doing the remainder of my workout even when others are by then up and around.
My advise: start working out early in the mornings when the others are still asleep. Set your alarm earlier if you have to. Get comfortable in your workout routine and when that happens you will probably also get more comfortable with doing your thing despite being in the presence of others.0 -
All these motivational and inspirational messages are great... IF you believe them.
You're asking "is it worth it?" But you are the only person who can truly decide that it IS worth it, that you value your health, your appearance, your future, and your goals enough to take it on the chin for a while if you have to. Everyone makes their own judgments of what something is worth to them.
It is worth it to me to wake up at 5 am almost every morning to work out because I know if I wait to do it later, it probably won't happen. Do I like it? Nope. It sucks to wake up when it's dark and force my half-asleep body into a workout while my warm bed calls. But I do it because I have decided that it's worth it to me. You have to make your own decisions about what you are willing to do for your dreams.
I hope it is worth it for you to get healthy, too, whatever that involves for you. But the decision is yours. So is it worth it to look good and be healthy and discover the person you want to be? You tell me.0 -
Some people feel threatened when a family member wants to make themselves look and feel better..why I don't know?
But you carry on..you're doing it for YOU!0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWp6kkz-pnQ
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