Cheated on, and got through it?

Options
24567

Replies

  • fattofit20
    fattofit20 Posts: 86
    Options
    I have been cheated on. My husband of 27 years cheated. We separated for 3 years but never divorced. We are now trying to reconcile. I will say that it isn't easy. The trust has been destroyed and I don't know if it'll ever come back. In saying that, he is my husband. He is human. We all make mistakes. Some worse than others. We have decided to try, one day at a time, to work on our marriage. Do I think he learned his lesson? Yes. Do I think he'll do it again? I don't know. But if he does it again he won't be able to hurt me like he did 3 years ago. He also will never get me back. Have I learned my lesson? Absolutely. Be prepared. Never take someone for granted and never take for granted that your life will remain as it has always been. I was caught totally off guard. That won't happen again. I'll never love him the way I once did but I do love him. Only now my love is guarded.
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    Options
    Been cheated on countless times. Done with relationships. It's kind of bound to happen in my shoes.
  • holeshottdr
    holeshottdr Posts: 364 Member
    Options
    Just break up..
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Options
    Thanks a lot corn63. Believe it or not, I'm a person with real feelings and I've been badly hurt. But no, I'm not a fruit loop or a troll. Keep moving....

    I thought you were a sad panda. I love pandas.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Options
    i think i may have just came up with a genious business idea.....myrelationshippal.com

    *genius, genius.
  • CayleyRidgeRunner
    CayleyRidgeRunner Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    My husband has cheated on me so many times when we were first married. Alot of people would have walked away,however I believe that marriage is till death do us part. I have cheated myself and we have been through so much..ex:death of a child..We acutally divorced and remarried and now our marriage is almost picture perfect. I do feel as if people can change if for one, they want to and two, you have to be willing to let the past go. Now, would I go through it again, heck no! But again like I said, it has made us stronger and more in love than ever...We were married very young, I was 17 him 21.. I take it since you created this post you must be facing a cheating issue. I feel your pain and wish you the best.....however, please know, I am living proof, you can survive just about anything:)

    Being cheated on is one experience that I thought was going to rip my world apart, but the loss of a child? I simply cannot fathom that type of anguish. My heart goes out to you and your husband.
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    Options
    Yes, I've been cheated on by my husband - and more than once.

    Communication is key, I think. I told him exactly how I felt about the situation, and 2 years later our relationship is much stronger than it was before. But we TALKED about it - many times, in fact. It helps that he's gone out of his way to explain to me what was going through his mind at the time, and to do everything he can to show me each and every day how much he loves and apprecates me.

    Sure, there are days when I get the old thoughts I used to, "Who is he texting with so much?" and what-not, but he always tells me when I ask (and shows me the texts, too, although I never ask to see them). One day I hadn't heard back from him for a few hours and I was more worried that he had gotten hurt - he has a somewhat dangerous job - than whether he was with someone else.

    With work and communication on BOTH parts I think it's possible for it to work. It hurts. It sucks. It's hard and devastating, but it's not the end of the world.

    Then there's the old saying I fall back on, "In 100 years from now, who is going to care?"
  • NJSunshine13
    NJSunshine13 Posts: 116
    Options
    Once the trust is broken, it is real hard to repair. You will always be questioning what they do, where they are, who they talk to. That takes a toll on a relationship and you end up harbouring resentment. If you can live with that little voice in your head questioning everything, then you are a stronger person than I am. I tried and could never forgive.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Options
    My husband of less than 4 years cheated with my best friend. We're divorced.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
    Options
    My ex husband cheated on me multiple times in our relationship. I forgave him and we moved on after the first 3, but it just didn't stop. If it was a one time thing we would have made it through okay.
  • jjelizalde
    jjelizalde Posts: 377 Member
    Options
    Once a cheater, always a cheater. You forgive them once, its license to keep doing it.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    Options
    I think it's to each their own. Some people can overcome it, others cannot. I for one, cannot.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
    Options
    I haven't been but I just couldn't forgive. Once my trust is gone, it's gone.
  • HarleyQuinn_12
    HarleyQuinn_12 Posts: 376 Member
    Options
    Ugggh so sad you are not a sad panda for realz. Now, I am a sad panda...so sad.

    ohh been cheated on before. Don't tolerate it or waste my time....cheaters are disposable to me.

    Love always,

    Sad Panda Lover.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Options
    I think it's to each their own. Some people can overcome it, others cannot. I for one, cannot.

    Same.
  • MTBrob
    MTBrob Posts: 513 Member
    Options
    I walked in on my ex wife having sex with another man .. I saw her for the true person she truly was. All the doubts and paranoia, all the me feeling guilty that I kept accusing her of cheating and she would deny it saying I was crazy.. All the thoughts of am I actually insane ? All that channeled through my fists that night..


    I went on to beat that guys *kitten* buck naked form my bed room to the front lawn.. Those 15 minutes were a life time of therapy. I felt like I got my man hood back that night so many years ago.
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
    Options
    I'm amazed people can forgive it. I cannot.
  • Rage4lightning
    Rage4lightning Posts: 72 Member
    Options
    To my knowledge, I've been cheated on once. I tried to forgive him but I found it impossible. I turned into the kind of girlfriend I never dreamed I'd ever be - super jealous, always suspicious, checking up on him. I didn't want to be that person any more so I did the only thing I could think of to stop it - I dumped him.

    I don't believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" though. The love of my life confessed early on to having cheated in a prior relationship. He sincerely regrets it and I trust him not cheat on me. If he does, we're over...no matter how much I love him. I simply refuse to be that crazy person again.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    Cheating is the worst and most selfish thing something can do. My Dad cheated on my Mom and it tore our family to shreds.

    I caught my ex on the road to cheating. It's quite possible he was actually cheating, although I don't have proof. I will say though that once that trust is damaged there is no going back - for me, anyway. After living through it as a child and now close to it as an adult, I just know that I'm not the person that can stay with someone capable of that kind of betrayal. Life is too short.
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
    Options
    The first time I had good solid proof my husband was cheating (not just a hunch, but proof), he finally confessed. It took time, but I truly forgave him and we moved on. So I thought. 8 months later I caught him with the same woman. That was all that I needed to end the relationship. Sorry, but once a cheater always a cheater. Walk.

Categories