Would it be a deal breaker..
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no... il just continue to look good, so either hop on board or fade away with age.0
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well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.0
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Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..
It would make the relationship difficult--after all, if I'm trying to eat better and exercise more and he does not want to do either, it's looking at temptation every time I'm with him. Better to have shared goals.0 -
I would imagine as long as there weren't any extreme bad habits it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I would prefer to find someone looking to lead a healthy lifestyle overall.0
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no... il just continue to look good, so either hop on board or fade away with age.
^^he pretty much stole my answer...
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well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.
Well what about if you decide to live healthy and you have been with your SO other for several years or so??0 -
Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..
It would make the relationship difficult--after all, if I'm trying to eat better and exercise more and he does not want to do either, it's looking at temptation every time I'm with him. Better to have shared goals.
I agree.0 -
Nope0
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My SO definitely does not live a healthy lifestyle, even though he remains very thin (envious!). It made me put on some weight in the beginning of our relationship as I just wasnt thinking about it and was following his habits. But now I'm working on my healthy self again and it's definitely not a deal breaker, it's his life!0
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That is a very tough question, because I was asking myself this for a while now. My former SO and I were long distance dating for about 2 years before I started working to lose my weight. He talks about it once in a while, but does nothing. It seemed to get harder with time, since It continued for several months before he felt the need to break off the seriousness of the relationship due to distance issues. We have considered getting back together in the future, perhaps if one or the other of us decides to move. I am just not sure if we could be all that compatible if this fitness gap continues, though. He smokes and is over weight by quite a bit. It is a good question that I think I may need to face sometime in the future.0
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Nope.....he is reaping the benefits in more ways than one with me being healthy and cooking healthier!
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well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.
Well what about if you decide to live healthy and you have been with your SO other for several years or so??
I actually have this but we decided to get healthy together, it makes it much easier for both. Still you can not hold them accountable for your change in lifestyle0 -
well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.
Well what about if you decide to live healthy and you have been with your SO other for several years or so??
I actually have this but we decided to get healthy together, it makes it much easier for both. Still you can not hold them accountable for your change in lifestyle
I agree. I would never try to blame my SO for me not getting fit or eating right. Since I have started being active and watching what and how much I eat, I have been able to get my SO to do the same. He said he doesn't want to get fat.0 -
No.
I can only live my life, not hers.
I loved her when she was thin, I loved her when she was not. I loved her when she smoked and I loved her when she quit. I guess if you have questions like this, you have bigger problems than your or your SO's lifestyle. Maybe it would better if you just moved on and looked for someone else.0 -
well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.
Well what about if you decide to live healthy and you have been with your SO other for several years or so??
I actually have this but we decided to get healthy together, it makes it much easier for both. Still you can not hold them accountable for your change in lifestyle
I agree. I would never try to blame my SO for me not getting fit or eating right. Since I have started being active and watching what and how much I eat, I have been able to get my SO to do the same. He said he doesn't want to get fat.
That is great for you, Unfortunatly we both started the relationship fat, and we are busting our buts to change that and raise our daughter in a healthy active lifestyle.0 -
^ What loumaag said.
I have had enough life experience to know that sometimes life takes turns. We all change over time. If you're expecting the person you partner with/marry to move along your life at the same pace and in the same way else it's game over, you have more to think about before choosing a partner.
Maybe you're not a marriage or lifetime commitment person. But in my experience, that lifetime commitment can include things like caring for a spouse who is severely injured and can't move, walk, bathe etc. What if your partner ends up with a physical impairment or disability... is that a dealbreaker? Do you love them enough to care for them and support them no matter whether they share your exercise habits or not? What if they get cancer and go years in treatment. Will you stay the course?
Being in a relationship with someone - truly being a partner/spouse to someone - means being a good partner for them; it's not just about having them be good for you.0 -
Nope, wouldn't make the slightest difference. I do my own thing regardless. For example, I'm a pescetarian and have only ever been in relationships with meat eaters. It's never been an issue. I eat what I want and I exercise if I want. If they don't, that's fine.0
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Yep! That doesn't mean that he has to be hyper vigilant about it but shared values in the beginning are critical to a successful relationship as we change and grow thru life. But I think the answer really depends on weather a healthier lifestyle choice came before or after the commitment to the relationship. I've been married almost 30 years. A few years back my hubby and his brother were diagnosed with a genetic heart defect that was previously undetected. My brother-in-law continued to go to McDonald's 3 or more days a week, would eat pounds of jelly belly candy a week, and the only exercise he gets is walking from the bed to the couch. My hubby eats right and has even gotten up before everyone else to get in his cardio in on Christmas morning. He has completely reversed the heart defect and is the poster child for the benefits of good diet and exercise. He inspires me to take care of myself so we can enjoy a long happy life together. I've often told him that I would have been very disappointed if he chose the path of his brother. I appreciate the fact that he wants to do what ever he can to stay healthy. The first day we met his cardiologist was one of my favorite memories. My hubby professed his deep love for me and our daughters in ways that I had never heard before. The cardiologist was so moved he hugged me and promised me that he would do everything in his power to ensure Joe lived a long and happy life surrounded by our future grandchildren, pets etc. Since Joe didn't have years of bad habits to overcome he only needed to tweak his good habits a bit. I often think of the other guys that crossed my path before him who were drinkers, smokers, etc. and can't imagine how different my life would be now that we are in our 50's. Healthy habits reap mega rewards as we age. So glad I made a great choice and passed up the other guys who were to busy having a good time that they neglected their health. Life has no guarantees and we are all just a serious illness or accident away from poor health. My hubby and I are committed to being together regardless of the twists and turns of life. Likewise we have a commitment to do everything within our power to stay, safe happy, and healthy. We even wear seatbelts because if one of us dies in a car accident the surviving spouse won't have to live with the knowledge that a seatbelt would have meant the difference between life and death. We all change and grow as we age. Some people are content with SO that come and go as we grow cherishing each relationship while it lasts. Others prefer a life long commitment that stands the test of time. One path is not necessarily better than the other. The secret to happiness is knowing your core values and those of your partner and determining if you are both rowing in the same ocean.0
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No.
I can only live my life, not hers.
I loved her when she was thin, I loved her when she was not. I loved her when she smoked and I loved her when she quit. I guess if you have questions like this, you have bigger problems than your or your SO's lifestyle. Maybe it would better if you just moved on and looked for someone else.
This wasn't anything personal for me. I just wanted to know what others thought because I have heard others say they would not be with someone who didn't have the same goals or lifestyle as them.
I personally support my SO in whatever he wants to do. There are plenty of things we don't have in common, but we support each other in them. I would never try to change my SO, I would just hope he will always support me like I do for him.0 -
Nope, wouldn't make the slightest difference. I do my own thing regardless. For example, I'm a pescetarian and have only ever been in relationships with meat eaters. It's never been an issue. I eat what I want and I exercise if I want. If they don't, that's fine.
What is a pescetarian?0 -
^ What loumaag said.
I have had enough life experience to know that sometimes life takes turns. We all change over time. If you're expecting the person you partner with/marry to move along your life at the same pace and in the same way else it's game over, you have more to think about before choosing a partner.
Maybe you're not a marriage or lifetime commitment person. But in my experience, that lifetime commitment can include things like caring for a spouse who is severely injured and can't move, walk, bathe etc. What if your partner ends up with a physical impairment or disability... is that a dealbreaker? Do you love them enough to care for them and support them no matter whether they share your exercise habits or not? What if they get cancer and go years in treatment. Will you stay the course?
Being in a relationship with someone - truly being a partner/spouse to someone - means being a good partner for them; it's not just about having them be good for you.
I would always be there for my SO no matter what happens. I support him in everything he does even if I don't always agree. He does the same for me.0 -
No. We are different people with different ideals and goals. He can be him and I will be me.0
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Wasn't there a point when you were in the same spot he is? He stuck around, ppl change all the time, often by example.Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..0 -
My hubby doesn't exactly live a healthy lifestyle. He eats chips and the like, but he eats what I cook for supper & it's healthy. It doesn't really bother me at all. He supports what I'm doing, buys me tons of fitness related stuff. But then again, he's not obese or anything. He's got a muscular build & used to wrestle. He's really strong. He's just not as active in it as I am nor does he eat as well as I do. Mayb it would b different if he were a complete slob & slouch.0
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No.
I can only live my life, not hers.
I loved her when she was thin, I loved her when she was not. I loved her when she smoked and I loved her when she quit. I guess if you have questions like this, you have bigger problems than your or your SO's lifestyle. Maybe it would better if you just moved on and looked for someone else.
So well said. Mine loved me fat, he loved me thin, he loves me fat again. He loves me, not the body I am in. He does not sabotage me. There is respect for what I am trying to do. What more can I ask of him? I can only give the same respect back, I will love him fat, I will love him thin, or anything in between. I will not sabotage his efforts to be healthy. If he chooses not to follow me, that is his choice, I will still love him. 35 years and counting...0 -
Wasn't there a point when you were in the same spot he is? He stuck around, ppl change all the time, often by example.Would it be a deal breaker for you if your SO didn't live a healthy lifestyle? Such as eating healthy & exercise..
Yes we both lived the same lifestyle not caring about what we ate and exercise was definitely not something we thought about. We were teens at the time and thought we would be skinny forever since we ate whatever we wanted with no weight gain. After I got pregnant at 19 I gained over 60 lbs with my pregnancy and after having my son most of that baby weight would not budge so I told myself I need to live better. I am now 21 and have made living healthy a lifestyle. My SO is beginning to follow in my footsteps now that he's getting a beer belly.0 -
a pecetarian is someone who is basically vegetarian but also eats seafood0
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No.
I can only live my life, not hers.
I loved her when she was thin, I loved her when she was not. I loved her when she smoked and I loved her when she quit. I guess if you have questions like this, you have bigger problems than your or your SO's lifestyle. Maybe it would better if you just moved on and looked for someone else.
So well said. Mine loved me fat, he loved me thin, he loves me fat again. He loves me, not the body I am in. He does not sabotage me. There is respect for what I am trying to do. What more can I ask of him? I can only give the same respect back, I will love him fat, I will love him thin, or anything in between. I will not sabotage his efforts to be healthy. If he chooses not to follow me, that is his choice, I will still love him. 35 years and counting...
It's nice to have someone who loves you no matter what size you are. Having my son and my body changing was hard for me, but my SO said he still finds me beautiful and said a few extra pounds doesn't bug him.0 -
a pecetarian is someone who is basically vegetarian but also eats seafood
Oh okay.0 -
Yup. Health and fitness are a big part of my life and if we don't have that in common chances are we don't have much of anything in common.0
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