Top 5 things you say/type at work

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oregonzoo
oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
in Chit-Chat
1. Thank you so very much and have a great day
2. What web browser are you using
3. Please go to "forgot my password"
4. Please update ASAP
5. you stink, really how dumb are you?
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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Options
    !. You're using IE. That's your problem.
    2. Is it pushed to master yet?
    3. Did you make a ticket yet?
    4, Ah ha! I broke it!
    5. I win.
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
    Options
    1. Take off your shirt.
    2. Lay down on the table
    3. This is going to feel kinda cool for a bit
    4. Im sorry but this may hurt
    5. Okay situp now and he will be with you in just a minute
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    Options
    1. company answer line
    2. "phone message"
    3. You there?
    4. Order #
    5. Let me know if you need anything else.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Options
    1. You overdrew your account.
    2. You have a zero balance, would you like to transfer?
    3. What's your name? Do you know your address??
    4. Hold, please.
    5. Is the computer on?


    I'm not even joking.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
    Options
    1. I'm not going to have time to look at that this week
    2. Have you already created a CWR/QC?
    3. Have you tried rebooting?
    4. Which of these is most important?
    5. People never cease to amaze me.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    Options
    1. Wherefore, Plaintiff(s) demand(s) judgment against the Defendants herein...
    2. Dear Honorable Judge XYZ,
    3. This is not the only case I work on you know.
    4. I wish it were time to go home
    5. I need you to stop trying to think like a lawyer.
  • WestCoastPhoenix
    WestCoastPhoenix Posts: 802 Member
    Options
    1. Coffee?
    2. What the eff?
    3. I'm sick today.
    4. Fine, see if I care if HR knows
    5. I just met you and this is crazy...but...
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,071 Member
    Options
    1. brb
    2. afk
    3. sorry i'm on break
    4. lol
    5. not my department

    (union shop)
  • OkieinMinny
    OkieinMinny Posts: 834 Member
    Options
    1. How many units is that in
    2. What kind of wood
    3. whats the depth of that
    4. We need to package it together
    5. what kind of finish do I get
  • guardian419
    guardian419 Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    1. Don't have a heartattack
    2. Don't make me give you a plastic hip old man
    3.I'm gonna go work out
    4.This was so much easier on XP
    5.Shut up nub!

    Active duty navy, and I work with a lot of old retired (grumpy) sailors...
  • Francesca3162
    Francesca3162 Posts: 520 Member
    Options
    1. that is an I.D. ten T error
    2. It is a short between the keyboard and the chair.
    3. Reboot your machine
    4. Pull the battery out, wait 15 seconds and put the battery back in the device.
    5. Put in a helpdesk ticket.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Options
    1) "Hello, How may I help you?"
    2) "Good morning. Patient Information. How may I help you?"
    3) "Next Desk on the Left." (they're becoming a patient in the hospital)
    4) "Next Desk on the Left." (they need to pay a bill and / or ask questions about a bill)
    5) "Next Desk on the Left." (they're arguing with me about someone I know isn't here)

    I really should have a tape recorder. It would save a lot of time. :ohwell:
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Options
    It's been so long since I had a job, but some common things I used to type were:

    1. Stucco
    2. 6" Stone Veneer
    3. 3- Car Garage
    4. Separate all habitable areas from Garage with 2 layers of 5/8" drywall.
    5. 2x6 Studs at 16" on center
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Options
    1. Attached is the requested information, please let me know if you have questions or need anything further.
    2. Attached are the sales results for "
    " for the month of "
    ".
    3. I realize we produce monthly results, but in the end these are annual plans so you have to look at the totals. The monthly amounts are arbitrary.
    4. Salespeople are whiny brats
    5. F uck
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Options
    When I got a new Boss, he called a meeting for all the key personnel. In the conference room. We all showed up and he was late. I went to the bulletin board and wrote down “Word for the Day – Punctual”. He showed up a few minutes later. Glanced at the board and then went on with the meeting. At the end of the meeting, he said, “I would have responded to the bulletin board, IF Punctual was spelled correctly.

    I never said a word. I went back to my office, looked up Punctual in an on-line dictionary. I cut and pasted the spelling and definition and emailed it to him and EVERY person that was in the meeting.

    At the bottom of the email I said, “It’s not important who is right. It’s important that YOU know I’M right.”

    I use that phrase any time someone challenges me, and if I don’t, someone near me will.

    By the way, I became great friends with that Boss.

    That's a long story to say--
    1. It's not important who's right, it's important that you know I'm right.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Options
    1. Assistant 1 I need you to....
    2. Assistant 2 did you complete the....
    3. Assistant 3 have Asst 1 and 2 gone out for a smoke again? Do you know how much of the project they have completed?
    4. Program Directors, I need your Master lists by end of day.
    5. IT, you have to fix this NOW.

    yeah......that's about right...
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
    Options
    1. Could you also send me an email about that?
    2. I'll check my calendar
    3. You'll have to contact your instructor
    4. I know.. the system IS incredibly slow today
    5. No, ____ is two doors down
  • Tw1zzler
    Tw1zzler Posts: 583
    Options
    1. Why did you model that at 100%?
    2. Your labor ratios are too high.
    3. Please provide detailed support.
    4. You need to send this back on the correct form.
    5. Your support does not add up.
  • dr2k12
    dr2k12 Posts: 291 Member
    Options
    1. That's just placeholder text (as relates to lorem ipsum)
    2. That's just placeholder text (as relates to lorem ipsum)
    3. That's just placeholder text (as relates to lorem ipsum)
    4. That's just placeholder text (as relates to lorem ipsum)
    5. That's just placeholder text (as relates to lorem ipsum)
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    Options
    1. Molehill => Mountain
    2. Please find your orders attached.
    3. Is this Gross or Net?
    4. How about an upgrade?
    5. This is the highest I can pay.

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