Scared to Get Pregnant...

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  • vytamindi
    vytamindi Posts: 845 Member
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    if you are more concerned about your weight and appearance than your desire to have a child...maybe, just maybe, you should hold off on having one.

    This. I've made the decision to not have kids. The thought of being pregnant absolutely TERRIFIES me, and that's the easy part? No thank you. It's your life, your choice, and if you don't have kids, oh well!
  • JasonDetwiler
    JasonDetwiler Posts: 364 Member
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    I would love to experience the miraculous wonders of pregnancy and childbirth..however I have been running from the possibility everytime I think of how much weight I would gain. I've heard some people have gained 90 pounds! Seriously??!!?? I've also heard it's ridiculously hard to get off. The basic motto is either you've got "the snap back genes" or you don't. :( Is this true?

    I don't mean to be harsh, but if this is your concern, you're probably not ready to be a parent. You give your life to your child and gaining weight in pregnancy is the least of your worries when a child's life is being brought into the world. I don't mean to be insensitive, but I've read this a few times and I'd be comfortable saying this to my wife, so if you're offended, I'm sorry.

    That being out of the way, some of the advice below is very valuable. Let me offer you some examples of women I am close to who have had babies recently and their experiences.

    1 - My wife
    My wife has been very thin her whole life and gained about 35 (very average) lbs in her pregnancy. She didn't control her diet, but she never went way overboard on anything. Six weeks after the baby was born, she was below her pre-pregnancy weight without dieting or exercise, but exclusive breast feeding.

    2 - My sister
    My sister has always been a fantastic athlete and in great shape. She gained 75 lbs. Her face and feet swelled to where she was nearly unrecognizable. She pumped for a year and in about four months was back to normal except for the stretched skin in her middle. She did moderate exercise but nothing serious.

    3 - Friend's Wife
    IDK what her weight gain was, but she kept running until she was about 8 months and after that kept walking. She didn't look pregnant anywhere but her belly. She ran a marathon a couple months after delivery. Not sure about her diet, but she and her husband have very healthy lunches they bring from home every day at work.

    4 - Other Friend's Wife
    This gal is a nurse and did all this sodium free stuff to minimize her weight/water gain and never exercised at all. A month after delivery she looked the same as ever before.

    5 - My Mom
    Mom gained 10 lbs with me and 30 with my sister. Exclusive BF'ing for both and she's always been about 5'2 100.

    So, your results can and will vary, even from one pregnancy to another within your own womb. You can do a lot to influence what happens to your body, but the bottom line is your body will do what it needs to do to supply the baby with what it needs. I hope that you make the very best decision for you and your husband, and your potential future children.
  • mindidily
    mindidily Posts: 196 Member
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    I gained about 40 with both pregnancies. The first was harder to lose (I only lost about 30 of it I think before I got pregnant again). The second time was easier because I stayed more active than the first one. Both times I ate about the same way though. Now 14 months after #2, I actually weigh 20lbs less than when I got pregnant with #1. Just be careful with your diet and exercise how you are able and you'll be ok. All of the stories I personally heard about 70+ weight gain were people who didn't control their eating.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    I gained weight when I was pregnant, I kept up my lifestyle while carrying my child, I lost the most weight in the first 6 months then put some on because I wasn't maintaining a good lifestyle and am now just fine. I weigh less now than I do before I had my son 4 years ago. There are some things that on me are permanent: my hips are wider and my breasts are smaller and less juicy.

    5 years ago:

    1.jpg

    3 years ago (a few weeks before son was born):
    189.jpg

    last month just before my son's 3rd birthday:
    toughmudder.jpg
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Look at what other people in your family gained.
    My wife fit back into her jeans within about a week and the same with her sisters.

    Also, the ability to create human life should trump a change in a few dress sizes.

    If you are genuinely concerned, then adopt. There are plenty of kids that need homes.
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
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    With my first pregnancy I gained 50 pounds (before delivery). After I had the baby I ended up about 15 pounds heavier than I was pre-pregnancy. I lost about 5 of those pounds and never lost the rest. To be fair I didn't really put in the work I needed to gain only a reasonable amount of weight or to lose it afterward. I'm pregnant with number two and I'm about 7 months along. So far I've only gained about 12 pounds. I've been a lot better with my activity level (chasing after a 2 year old certainly helps) and with what I've been eating this time around. I've been making smarter decisions and it has definitely made a difference.

    I also second the fact that beast feeding didn't help me lose weight, but I know for some women it helps a ton.
  • famlyluv
    famlyluv Posts: 206 Member
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    No, its not true. I gained a lot of weight with both my pregnancies because i ate a lot of junk! Don't let pregnancy be an excuse to eat anything and everything. Yes, you have to eat at slightly higher calories, but not double. If you keep yoursef fit during pregnancy then losing weight will be natural.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    No, don't get pregnant right now. Wait until you are no longer so selfish that you are worried only about the weight gain rather than how you will be a great parent and raise a healthy, happy, functional human being. Having children is a huge commitment and your life, and body, will be changed forever. Weight gain during pregnancy is NECESSARY for a healthy baby. Health is the focus, and if you keep that in mind you won't gain 100 pounds. (Yup, I gained 70 during my pregancy, which was 20 pounds more than I should have... oh well.)

    Sorry to be rude but as a mother, your comments just rubbed me very much the wrong way.
  • LastMinuteMama
    LastMinuteMama Posts: 590 Member
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    I would love to experience the miraculous wonders of pregnancy and childbirth..however I have been running from the possibility everytime I think of how much weight I would gain. I've heard some people have gained 90 pounds! Seriously??!!?? I've also heard it's ridiculously hard to get off. The basic motto is either you've got "the snap back genes" or you don't. :( Is this true?

    If you are healthy before you get pregnant and during, then I really don't see any reason that you'd have any trouble.

    When pregnancy is used as an excuse to gorge yourself than you are going to put on extra weight that you would have put on whether you were pregnant or not.

    Just be sensible. Some of the weight that you put on is fluid retention and it will go away after you deliver your bundle of joy.

    I've only been pregnant twice, but I can say that neither pregnancy is the reason I'm here trying to lose 20 lbs, those 20 lbs are because I decided to be a lazy lump who ate and drank too much.

    And really, even if weight gain from pregnancy were irreversible, I would choose my boys over a tight tummy & *kitten* any day! I love those little men more than life itself!
  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    You can't let that scare you from having a child. You can always do other types of exercise while pregnant. But remember that having a child is a life long gift and any weight gained can be be lost in a heart beat.
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
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    As long as you don't stuff your face and get the "eating for two" mentality you'll be fine. A lot of women that gain so much weight use pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything in front of them.
  • believe22
    believe22 Posts: 210 Member
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    I've lost 90 pounds since having my son, NOT including what I gained while pregnant (and I only gained 26 while pregnant). I understand your fear. But getting pregnant isnt a sentence to become fat for the rest of your life. It's all in your control.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I actually lost weight during my pregnancy but that is because i walked everyday and was also working at the time. I was down to 204 and gained a pound when i stopped breastfeeding and then rejoined mfp in feb. I had my son in Jan. I did natural birth with Keith, my son, and he came 7lbs 12 ounces 20.5 inches!!!!!!

    As long as you don't eat everything in sight you will be all right. Also make sure you keep active. Everyone got on my husband when i was still cleaning the house and everything while pregnant, but between walking and cleaning, i lost, as well as my job. I was 243 right before my pregnancy, and I am now down to 182!!!!! And still going. Ran my first 5k almost 6 months after giving birth. Do what is best for you and your family.
  • kit8806
    kit8806 Posts: 222 Member
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    I only gained about 20lbs when I was pregnant. I was still active during pregnancy and really watched what I ate. If I would have stuck with it, I would have lost the weight no problem, but stress, courts and a new job took a toll on me and I got lazy. Having a child is a wonderful thing! If you are only worried about the weight loss, have a child! It's so worth it! Keep up with MFP and staying healthy during pregnancy and after and you'll be fine!!
  • jeokay20
    jeokay20 Posts: 11
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    i was more scared about the stretch marks than anything. if you are an active person....you should be fine when it comes to losin weight bec losing weight is 90% mental. its all about the will power
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    I would love to experience the miraculous wonders of pregnancy and childbirth..however I have been running from the possibility everytime I think of how much weight I would gain. I've heard some people have gained 90 pounds! Seriously??!!?? I've also heard it's ridiculously hard to get off. The basic motto is either you've got "the snap back genes" or you don't. :( Is this true?

    You don't ahve to gain weight when you are pregnant, thats a choice, people decide to eat whatever they want because they "are eating for two". However around 200 calories is enough extra a day.

    And obesity is actually one of the biggest causes of complications at child birth

    I agree about the eating, but not the last sentence. It's the medical "professionals" response to obesity that often cause the complications at birth. I was obese but healthy with a healthy baby and the medical staff did everything they could to complicate my birth. I was quite traumatic actually. But I fended off the unnecessary c section, and finally got it through to the staff that I could not give birth lying on my back. Duh.
  • mhaworth12
    mhaworth12 Posts: 9 Member
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    I completely understand this. Before I had become pregnant with my son last year, I had lost a total of 50 pounds by watching what I ate. I went from 190 to 140. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant until it hit me that I would gain weight. Instead of eating absolutely everything i could get my hands on, I made smart choices. last November (exactly 2 days before I gave birth) I had a doctors appointment and my weight was 167 and on the Sunday after I gave birth I was at 157. I breastfed for about 2 weeks and I was at my starting weight by Christmas.

    I am not saying it is like this for everyone but you really do need to make smart choices. At the same time though, when you do become pregnant, enjoy that pregnancy. because let me tell you, when you feel that baby move for the first time or get hiccups or start to get that baby bump, nothing in the world will make you feel more amazing, no weight loss will ever amount to that moment you meet your little guy/gal.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I think it all depends on what your habits are before, during and after your pregancy. I've seen plenty of women who exercise during pregancy and snap back quickly after giving birth and look like they've never been pregnant.

    I myself had bad eating habits before and during my pregnancies. I gained 60 lbs with both kids. I lost it both times but I had wished that I had a healthier eating and exercise lifestyle before I got pregnant. I didnt learn about exercise and healthy eating until after I had my sons.
  • mfpfanatic
    mfpfanatic Posts: 13
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    I've had 3 girls all 20 months apart. I lost weight in between each pregnancy. I gained 60 lbs with each of them. 5'7'' started off at 134 lbs. got up to 194 lbs. My youngest is 2 months old and I am 15 lbs away from being 134 lbs. again. I say just eat healthy while you are pregnant and if you want a snack have at it. When you're not pregnant though workout hard and eat clean and breastfeed and you'll snap right back. I would say I don't have the "snap back" gene because I had to work REALLY hard to lose the weight I put on but the fun is in the journey and being able to tell people how big you were while you are wearing a size 4!
  • Fit2Skinnyme33
    Fit2Skinnyme33 Posts: 127 Member
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    I am overweight to begin with but I only gained 22lbs and made sure I never over ate or ate BAD foods all the time. My first 3 months I was always nauseated and seem to only be able to eat perogues.

    Don't be scared having a child is more amazing than being afraid of gaining weight. You can lose weight, might be hard but never having the opportunity to be a mother is not worth it. I just had my first, she is almost 6 months old and is the best decision I have ever made in my life. My husband and I had put it off for 3 years (yes I am still very young, the reason I didn't want to have kids yet) and then when we decided to start trying it took us a YEAR which was really hard to not give up!

    From my experience, you will never be truly ready but having a baby is the best thing EVER. Don't be afraid, its worth every gained lb!!

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