Sick and tired of defending goal weight!

jpohoney
jpohoney Posts: 66 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have recently lost 30lbs and have 25 to 30lbs left to lose. I am still overweight for my height. My goal weight is right in the middle of my weight category for my height. I hate it when people tell me I look great now and that basically I am stupid to lose anymore weight. Yes I appreciate that they think that I look great now but why don't I deserve to be a healthy weight? I have skinny wrists and ankles and I am tired of having big thighs! Why do people think it is there business to tell you? I get it if I was wanting to be way under weight but I am not! There that is my vent for today! thank you for listening lol
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Replies

  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,722 Member
    I don't tell people my goal weight so they don't comment on it. BTW mine would put me at a mid-range healthy weight too. I'm just right now at the borderline of healthy/overweight.
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    some people think they can spray their opinions on you like vomit. Don't worry about it.
  • doubleduofa
    doubleduofa Posts: 284 Member
    I think people are just being nice when they say stuff like that. I don't know. I tell people that I want to lose 20 lbs and they are always like, "from where?" I always say, "oh, lots of places!" I honestly think it's just making conversation. I find myself doing that with my friends because I really do think they look good as they are, but I always add that I understand not feeling comfortable at the weight you are at or in your clothes, so I think they should do what they think they need to do. I think I'd be more offended if I said I needed to lose 20 lbs and someone said, "yeah you do!" LOL
  • vjochum
    vjochum Posts: 13 Member
    I hear ya. I've tried losing weight in the past and have succeeded to a point, then found friends and family were trying to sabotage my weight loss, ( like I wasn't doing that myself lol) it's so hard to do. Now that I'm doing it again, I am only open to discussion here and with my doctor. Everyone else is OFF LIMITS on this weight loss journey until I am done.
  • sleibo87
    sleibo87 Posts: 403 Member
    I know the feeling. Mostly its the people I work with tho not close family/friends. I lost about 40 pounds and i am at the top of my healthy bmi. I want to lose about 20 more depending on how i look and feel. But ya the guys at work make comments and It's not like I can say, well I don't look good naked and my tummy is still super flabby....cause all I will get it jokes about them wanting me to prove i dont look good naked lol. Or they make comments that there needs to be something to hold on to...well I DONT WANT THAT AND ITS MY BODY! It is nice they think I look good now but I want to be in a more comfortable range not on the cusp of over weight! I just ignore it, there isn't much more I can do
  • marjolycookie
    marjolycookie Posts: 90 Member
    No kidding. All my coworkers tell me I'm done losing weight and I just blow them off. This is my body and my choice about when I am done losing weight. Goodness, they were telling me 30+ pounds ago that I was done losing weight. They tell me I'm going to waste away or whatever. I realize that some are just jealous that I've managed to get a lot of weight off successfully...

    While it's nice that they notice the fact that I've lost a lot of weight, it's not their place to tell me that I can't lose more. My goal weight is, like most people's, in the middle of healthy for my height. I just crossed into healthy about a month ago and while I feel pretty good about myself, I think another inch or two would make me that much happier.

    Basically, don't worry, OP. There's nothing wrong with aiming for healthy, and just ignore the haters!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Stop talking about it to people.
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
    I think a lot of people just want to feel better in their own skin. I know I'd be happy if I could just firm EVERYTHING up and not jiggle as much when I run. Also, to be able to wear a bathing suit at the drop of a hat and not be so self conscious about it. So I figure about 15 lbs to lose of fat and then gain a bit more muscle. :bigsmile:
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    Blech I know what you mean. I haven't been specific about my GW numbers but people at work after congratulating me and envying me for 7 months are now recently calling me "bag of bones" or "hardly there"....I'm 160lbs people. Certainly not either of those.

    I try to brush it off, I'm doing this for me and they can suck a lemon.
  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
    Almost everyone is overweight. You are trying to get to healthy weight for your height they have no idea what "healthy" weight looks like. Several women I work with have commented that they are "skinny" or "small" and they are not!!! I'm getting "healthy" not skinny. They do not understand! We all do!! Good luck!!
  • PamelaKuz
    PamelaKuz Posts: 191 Member
    You said exactly what I was thinking!
    Almost everyone is overweight. You are trying to get to healthy weight for your height they have no idea what "healthy" weight looks like. Several women I work with have commented that they are "skinny" or "small" and they are not!!! I'm getting "healthy" not skinny. They do not understand! We all do!! Good luck!!
  • kareinlib
    kareinlib Posts: 98
    I have stopped telling people my goal weight because it's really been frustrating to hear over and over that I look fine as I am and that my goal weight will look weird on me. It's in the healthy range of BMI for a person my height, and I really want to be the healthiest version of myself. I don't understand why people are so weird about it.
  • jpohoney
    jpohoney Posts: 66 Member
    Stop talking about it to people.

    I don't talk to people about it, they keep on talking to me asking me all kinds of questions. I just keep my answers as simple and short as I can. and I don't tell them my goal weight I just tell them I have about 30lbs left to lose. I guess I just need to keep my mouth shut.
  • camar123
    camar123 Posts: 4
    I can relate. I stopped telling others about my diet because they would always criticize my goal weight.
  • kingscrown
    kingscrown Posts: 615 Member
    Stop telling people. I'm not sure I've told anyone my goal weight in my life offline. You're right it's only your business and your idea of where you want to be. Who knows when you get there you might tweak it and go lightly or heavier. It's all up to you.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Blech I know what you mean. I haven't been specific about my GW numbers but people at work after congratulating me and envying me for 7 months are now recently calling me "bag of bones" or "hardly there"....I'm 160lbs people. Certainly not either of those.

    I try to brush it off, I'm doing this for me and they can suck a lemon.

    How ridiculous! For halloween you should dress up as a skeleton, or just wear a skeleton shirt.

    How stupid are people?
    I think they've gotten to the point past being envious and feeling bad about themselves and inability or will power to do anything about their own weight.
  • stines72
    stines72 Posts: 853 Member
    yeah im sick of my mom telling me to eat fast food because i deserve it for losing weight and she tells me NOT to lose any more weight when im not at my goal weight yet... i should be allowed to have my body the way i want it. before she called me fat and now she calls me too skinny when im not i look great.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
    I simply ask them if theyd like to see me naked!

    That shuts them up pretty quickly!
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    I was never very overweight, and I got sick of people telling me I looked fine at my size. I didn't even tell people when I was trying to lose weight, because everyone would just go "Oh, you don't need to lose any!" Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I do :/
  • DeMarraDontStop
    DeMarraDontStop Posts: 342 Member
    Yep that's exactly the reason why I refrain from talking too much about how much I want to lose or my goal weight. Some people are positive but some negative! I get it!! I'm doing what I feel is where I want to be not meet anybody else's definition of where they *think* I should be! Keep pushing toward your goals to make you happy!
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,431 MFP Moderator
    A way around this is talk about body composition. Most people dont understand it and wont even bother. I tell people i wont be happy until i am 6-8% body fat. I also do this as weight is a meaniless number that most people arbitrarily pick without knowing variables such as current lean body mass.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    calm yourself. maybe you shouldn't be DEFENSIVE at all and take it as a compliment.
  • mswanger09
    mswanger09 Posts: 863 Member
    I know what you mean. My one friend tells me all the time that I look find the way I am, and that I don't show my weight. It is sweet and nice to hear, but since I am currently borderline obese, yea, staying where I am at is not going to happen.
  • warsenic
    warsenic Posts: 60
    Almost everyone is overweight. You are trying to get to healthy weight for your height they have no idea what "healthy" weight looks like. Several women I work with have commented that they are "skinny" or "small" and they are not!!! I'm getting "healthy" not skinny. They do not understand! We all do!! Good luck!!

    This. People I know used to compliment me on how small I am.
    I was 10 pounds overweight. Tiny in stature, but not weight.

    Luckily, people don't really comment much on my weight (at least where I can hear them).
    And I certainly don't bring it up, unless I offhandedly mention it on my way to work out.
  • TravelDog14
    TravelDog14 Posts: 317 Member
    Besides my husband and my listed goal weight here on MFP I don't share my goal weight, nor do I tell anyone how many more pounds I'm looking to lose.
    If anyone were rude enough to ask me how many more pounds I was going to lose I'd tell them 5. It's a lie, but it's also none of their business.

    A fair share of people here in the USA have no clue what a healthy weight looks like since we're surrounded by the obese, so I put zero stock in what the ignorant of the world want to spout.
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    Preaching to the choir sister. My goal is to lose 100 total. People now are getting seriously verbal about "if you lose any more weight..." and they're saying they'll be angry. Like seriously? Who asked you? My goal is to be 140. That's in the middle of the range for my height too. I have plenty more to lose, isn't it my decision?
  • amsohs85
    amsohs85 Posts: 166
    I simply ask them if theyd like to see me naked!

    That shuts them up pretty quickly!

    Lol...be careful throwing out responses like that. Sooner or later some smartass is going to say yes...then you're in trouble!!! :drinker:
  • wow29
    wow29 Posts: 283 Member
    No need to defend! jUST DO.:flowerforyou:
  • wow29
    wow29 Posts: 283 Member
    some people think they can spray their opinions on you like vomit. Don't worry about it.
    :laugh: :sick:
  • TazzytheMotivator
    TazzytheMotivator Posts: 646 Member
    My advice to you:
    People will hate you
    Berate you
    Rate you
    Lie to you
    But how strong you stand will make you !!!
    Just do YOU !!!!!:flowerforyou:

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