Am I too old fashioned?

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  • lamoursuffit
    lamoursuffit Posts: 267 Member
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    Nope. I want that as well. I don't think, for me, it's not so much marriage as being financially stable and on our own...which of course, won't be until after our wedding! lol
  • LisaMarie8713
    LisaMarie8713 Posts: 310
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    You have to do what's right for you. If he wouldn't marry you, I don't know that I'd trust him enough to have kids with him. The marriage might come and go, but the kids will be there forever!!
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    This was my choice. I would not have had children with someone who was unwilling to make the commitment of marriage. It makes things easier legally to be a traditional family, and honestly, I am happy to know my partner is as committed to me as he is to the kids. Not cr@pping on anybody else's choice, but I am a planner and this was the way it had to be for me.
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
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    Oh I understand if it happens it happens (it explains my sisters first two children who i love to the moon and back).. its just that lately my partner seems to be planning my pregnancy but disregarding even the idea of a wedding.
    We're financially in a situation where a wedding is not going to be a huge burden on us. I just dont understand his family planning with out the marriage. He knows I want to be married before children, but keeps telling me oh we can do that later.

    I'm not turning to the internet for advice, I'm going to talk to him about this and see it from his point of view and come to a mutual understanding with him..

    Its just made me think alot.
    .

    I don't think you're old fashioned at ALL. The stability offered to children in the same stable 2 parent home throughout their childhood is overwhelming, and risks for children of split parents have been studied and quanitified largly. Wanting to know his intention of a lifelong commitment to you and the family he wants to start with you is absolutely a necessity imo. However, forcing him to marry you to have kids wouldn't really change the dynamics of your relationship and could just as easily lead to a disastrous situation. I think you guys need to be on the same page on this one.

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