so sad....

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  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do :( Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

    Honestly... The only way to "not hit that weight" and "try everything" and to fix most of what you just said.... is to STICK WITH IT. You aren't going to succeed if you give up, and you aren't going to change if you do what you've always done... Its not going to be easy. It's going to be hard, and some days are going to suck.... But sticking with it is key.

    I'm not trying to sound harsh AT ALL. I think we have all been there. You have to be ready to make this work. And when you are really ready... REALLY ready, you will have the strength to push past the worst days, and just hang on. And when you don't have strength and need a friend, you will have people from MFP to help you through... And the reward will come when the scale keeps moving, you start feeling better, you start looking better, you stop seeing it as a diet, and achieve your goal. :)

    As far as your husband, that's a diff topic all together. Just bc he is watching porn doesn't mean he wants it more than you. ( or maybe ... idk, I don't know your situation. lol So I can't really say...) But if you feel this awful about yourself right now, and you are feeling less than, or mad or crying all the time or feel defeated... you MAY BE PROJECTING.... Or 'thinking' its worse than it is. If that is not the case, and he really wants it more than you.... Which, I still doubt, but if so... then .. that will have to be worked out later. This is about you... and your goals and what YOU want. The rest will fall into place. And if it doesn't, you will find out everything you need at that time, and will know where to go from there...

    Good luck!! :flowerforyou:
  • marshipooh
    marshipooh Posts: 3 Member
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    Hi Hannah K,

    First and foremost - Pray. Yep, I said it. PUSH = Pray until something happens. You are going through a whole lot more than weight issues and hurt from your husband. I can tell that deep down in the core you have a whole lot going on and little by little it's breaking you apart. All your pain, all your tears, all your hurt. You probably feel like no one understands. But someone really does and is waiting to reach out and help you. Please visit http://www.davidjeremiah.org. He has a book out right now that is a must read but please start here.

    As for your weary feelings and dismay when it comes to your weight. One day at a time and it will all fall into place. You won't start out giving up everything you love right away. If that is your expectation, you may be setting yourself up. Just take it bit by bit and moment by moment. Log everything you do, everything and little by little it will all come together. You'll soon be able to make better decisions while still enjoying things you love. It is easy when you are sad and depressed to use food as a way to feel better. I think most of us has been on that journey but pace yourself. Slow and steady and soon enough you'll be on here posting your success story as well.

    Feel free to add me and please visit that website :)
  • Phoenixchichima
    Phoenixchichima Posts: 416
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    I"m sorry life seems so overwhelming. for what its worth, its been that way for me sometimes, and i'm guessing for everyone else here too.
    it seems like you have 4 issues. please take a few minutes & heart searching & see if this is correct, because you cant fix everything with 1 solution

    1) it appears you are upset about your weight. ok, you're at the right place. everyone here is working on that issue & most folks have great experience & support available for you. You've gotten a lot of practical suggestions to try to help your weight.

    2) you sound like you could be depressed perhaps. if so, its not a weakness or a crime. life is like that sometimes so dont feel ashamed, just get help. you can only blame yourself for depression if you dont try to get some help getting over it. remember, if you are depressed, everything by definition is overwhelming :)

    3) You appear isolatedin a strange coungry with a different language, your friends and family far away likely & your support system is far away. can you join a young mothers group or some club to get out of hte house & find other women like yourself so you can be available for each other

    4) you seem to be concerned about your marriage AFTER you've invested so much into it. Well. you may be right. you husband probably blames hsi addition to porn on you, but as so many have said, its HIS problem, not yours. My ex hated my weight when i was 120lbs. they use that as an excuse for their behaviour. dont buy into it. can you get marriage counseling for the 2 of you, or if he wont go with you, go alone

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