Is it terrible that when my husband...

Options
1235»

Replies

  • gracefulotus
    gracefulotus Posts: 42
    Options
    I've been really intrigued by the number of people who don't want to talk about work, after work. Doesn't make the best impression about how much we all enjoy our work.

    Thank-you for all your comments.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    Options
    Is it terrible that when my husband is talking to me about work, my mind drifts in and out of the conversation?

    Context: I've had a long day of study, we discuss my thesis, have our dinner, go back to study, then watch t.v. for 40min just to unwind before bedtime.

    Sitting on the living room floor with a glass of wine in my hand, and he starts talking to me. My mind drifts in and out of his spiel and I catch bits and pieces of what he's saying "risk.... legislation.... idiots..... the system.... the client.... numbers... there's no connection between this framework and what the other consultants are working on...."

    All the while my mind drifts in and out. I smile when he smiles, nod assent when he checks that I'm listening.

    What is the polite thing to do when you're clearly not listening for whatever reason. Do you let a person do their thing because maybe they need to vent, or should you admit that you're simply not listening.

    I'm sorry, I didn't understand one bit of that....I just heard a low humming sound the whole time. :tongue:
  • joeq722
    joeq722 Posts: 86 Member
    Options
    So in other words, you're saying you are married?
    Join the club.
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    Options
    I do that all the time, but I don't pretend well. It usually ends with "yeah I didn't hear a word you just said, sorry" lol
    But we both do it, and it usually happens when theres a distraction.
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    Options
    You sure you're not a man lol?? I have to lift my shirt every 3 minutes for my husband to pay attention:)

    Im lucky, my husband doesnt talk much.

    I'm impressed by your wisdom. I'll add that if you increase the lift frequency the attention from your husband will increase exponentially
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
    Options
    Don't worry about it....he doesn't listen to you either.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    Options
    Is it terrible that when my husband is talking to me about work, my mind drifts in and out of the conversation?

    Context: I've had a long day of study, we discuss my thesis, have our dinner, go back to study, then watch t.v. for 40min just to unwind before bedtime.

    Sitting on the living room floor with a glass of wine in my hand, and he starts talking to me. My mind drifts in and out of his spiel and I catch bits and pieces of what he's saying "risk.... legislation.... idiots..... the system.... the client.... numbers... there's no connection between this framework and what the other consultants are working on...."

    All the while my mind drifts in and out. I smile when he smiles, nod assent when he checks that I'm listening.

    What is the polite thing to do when you're clearly not listening for whatever reason. Do you let a person do their thing because maybe they need to vent, or should you admit that you're simply not listening.

    I do this all the time except I freely admit when I haven't been listening by saying something like, "Sorry, I totally spaced on that, what?" Truthfully, you can only hear the same rants so many times before they start to sound like the teacher from Peanuts.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Options
    @ the lady who flashes her hubby...I would have to talk a lot more if I were him!
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
    Options
    I smile and nod and try to act interested. If I am truly not there and can not get there I let him know. I do need to say though that my husband does the exact same to me. Minus the smile. He will just full out say hey I'm watching tv and don't really care right now. So I figure this has given me the cart blanche to do the same on my bad days.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Options
    How dare you, when he pays such close attention to the drama between your girl friends!

    :)
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
    Options
    I do that all the time, but I don't pretend well. It usually ends with "yeah I didn't hear a word you just said, sorry" lol
    But we both do it, and it usually happens when theres a distraction.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Options
    Some people really don't care if another is listening...they just want to talk, so let them.
  • CayleyRidgeRunner
    CayleyRidgeRunner Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    I am always rude to my Husband, if what he wants to say to me is interesting to me I listen, and if its not I wander off or yawn and look at my watch.

    "always rude to my husband" ??? :huh:

    I know this thread is just for fun...but why is basic courtesy during communication so difficult? why is that rude people can get husbands and I can't even get a date (and yes, when I've been in relationships in the past I have made an effort to listen to someone...it's common courtesy. If the guy's that boring that you're wandering off or yawning or looking at your watch, I guess I'm wondering why are you with the person?)

    I guess I better get rid of my normally decent listening skills in order to catch me a man LOL.

    Shaking head...

    I am fabulously sexy, funny, flexible and insatiable in the sack...this is the answer to your question

    oh and I have a great sense of humour and hand cuffs

    You're the reason I tell my friends to date for at least 6 months before they get serious. That way, when the arrogant b!tch starts to reveal herself, they can bail and find a woman of better quality. In other words, you're fun the first few months and then we upgrade to someone we'd rather introduce to mom b/c mom knows your kind and it usually ends in divorce court. Winner take all.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    Options
    You sure you're not a man lol?? I have to lift my shirt every 3 minutes for my husband to pay attention:)

    Im lucky, my husband doesnt talk much.
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Options
    My wonderful bf is the only person I know who can talk more than me, especially on the phone. I'm not really big on phone conversation but he is happy as a clam to describe his whole day. I generally listen but I have a hard time focusing, especially on the phone (or even in person if he gets me in the middle of homework/grading). Sometimes he throws in a little something to make sure I'm paying attention. Thankfully he's not offended if it turns out I wasn't. ^_^
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    Options
    he's letting you talk about your thesis FIRST? you should be paying as much attention to him as he to you. figure out how much that is & call it fair ;)

    you may want to drink the wine AFTER he talks about his day....

    OMG! You're right. I'm submitting my doctoral thesis in about 3 weeks time, so, it's fully consumed my life.

    I am surprised you have time for ANYTHING at this point, especially with thesis in three weeks. Those who have not had this experience cannot imagine how unbelivably soul sucking this can be. I am sure you will be a bit more normal once that is done, until then I am certain he understands. Mine did. :drinker:
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
    Options
    All the while my mind drifts in and out. I smile when he smiles, nod assent when he checks that I'm listening.

    I've been doing that my whole life... to my teacher... then my wife.. and my boss... as long as we don't get caught I don't see a problem. :-)

Categories