Am I just being old-fashioned?

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  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    The OP has said she is trying to understand the other side.

    So, even if the husband and that woman had been separated for awhile or divorced or whatever, it really blows my mind that she would be talking to her children about getting married and moving to another country A WEEK after he died. Having their father die is stressful. Now she added a couple more very upsetting and stressful life-changing things when they haven't even gotten over the shock of losing their father. Yes, we don't know the whole story, but common sense would seem to lean toward not laying all that on anyone at once, never mind kids who are not emotionally equipped.

    Thankfully, the man is decent, and hopefully it will all work out for the best for everyone involved, but I do feel sorry for those kids - and would worry about the OP's friends children since they will have to live with someone who may not have the best judgment in the world based on her handling of her own children.
  • MarthaAnn8186
    MarthaAnn8186 Posts: 84 Member
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    Not a safe thing to do, scary.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    Follow up time. Cliff Notes version, because if I go into details my head will explode.

    They met in Nov, got engaged at the airport, spent a couple of weeks together with her kids travelling and she has just bought a house in this country, moves here permanently in March with the kids, has said she has no intention of returning to the USA, ever.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    eek, If I were in that situation I would expect the guy to come visit, I wouldn't uproot the kids especially after such a rocky year.

    A guy that has kids himself? Is he supposed to leave his at home?

    Not sure how I missed this before but he doesn't have custody of his kids, their mother does.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    Old-fashioned? Not in the least.

    As for me, there's no way I would consider a woman who could do such a thing without spending time with that person first. I've seen too many failures and not one single success story. I said I have seen, not heard. I'm sure there are some successes, but that won't be one from me because I won't do it.

    To each his/her own though. I wish them well.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I pity her AND the kids if this thing backfires. Because, if it does, she will be in a situation with no support system and probably few friends. I have seen things like this end up badly. I hope she is one of the exceptions.

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