Hate My Boss

sandyjeffery

If your boss degrades you and you let him get away with it, he will keep doing it to make himself feel more powerful. Be respectful, but firm and let him know that you are not going to take that from him anymore. It is tough enough coming into work everyday without having to deal with a jerk of a boss. Hang in there and keep your head high.

secretlobster

You guys are all right, I need to stand up for myself...but on the other hand, I am fairly new here (only been here 1 year) and I'm honestly afraid that if I do stand up to him, he'll be harsher on me and think "oh SHE wants to get an attitude with ME now?" I really don't understand having to be mean to someone who is mean to you, so that they won't be mean anymore. Doesn't make any sense. I've always been a "kill them with kindness" kind of person, and that obviously doesn't work with this guy.

Not to be a jerk, but this is a common mistake that seems to be specific to women. It's also why we don't end up with the same salaries as our male counterparts.

You're setting the precedent that it's okay for him to talk down to you. He's just swinging his d*ck around and seeing how much he can get away with. Do you think he will (or CAN) fire you for saying "I don't appreciate being talked to like that"?

I work in a heavily male-dominated industry (IT). If I didn't grow a pair, I would be walked on constantly. Instead, I'm making a high salary and over the years I've earned respect from my colleagues who don't take advantage of me anymore because I don't work in the bullsh*t department. It isn't easy and it isn't fun, but you do have to be assertive, at least, if not slightly aggressive. You can be direct without being unprofessional. Don't talk to HR. Talk to him and treat him like a man who can handle criticism.

You don't automatically get respect. You earn it and demand it. ESPECIALLY from your superiors.

ShreddedTweet

I had a horrendous boss who was a massively overweight lump of a woman who took out her unhappiness on any younger, thinner women in our workplace at the time. She was a pig in every sense of the word... I also had the handsy-perv boss who made many unwelcome advances.


I'm now my own boss!

iLoveMyPitbull1225

....Look for a new job is the first thing I would think to do....

penrbrown

You guys are all right, I need to stand up for myself...but on the other hand, I am fairly new here (only been here 1 year) and I'm honestly afraid that if I do stand up to him, he'll be harsher on me and think "oh SHE wants to get an attitude with ME now?" I really don't understand having to be mean to someone who is mean to you, so that they won't be mean anymore. Doesn't make any sense. I've always been a "kill them with kindness" kind of person, and that obviously doesn't work with this guy.

Not to be a jerk, but this is a common mistake that seems to be specific to women. It's also why we don't end up with the same salaries as our male counterparts.

You're setting the precedent that it's okay for him to talk down to you. He's just swinging his d*ck around and seeing how much he can get away with. Do you think he will (or CAN) fire you for saying "I don't appreciate being talked to like that"?

I work in a heavily male-dominated industry (IT). If I didn't grow a pair, I would be walked on constantly. Instead, I'm making a high salary and over the years I've earned respect from my colleagues who don't take advantage of me anymore because I don't work in the bullsh*t department. It isn't easy and it isn't fun, but you do have to be assertive, at least, if not slightly aggressive. You can be direct without being unprofessional. Don't talk to HR. Talk to him and treat him like a man who can handle criticism.

You don't automatically get respect. You earn it and demand it. ESPECIALLY from your superiors.

Honestly I have NEVER had to confront a male coworker about bad behavior. I don't know what it is but they have always known to treat me with respect, without me ever having to TELL them to.

I suppose it's all in how we carry ourselves. Still, some guys will be ****s even AFTER you assert yourself so OP should still be prepared to look for new work if necessary.

PaleoPath4Lyfe

Everytime i interact with him he degrades me and makes me feel like *kitten*. So yes, it is personal now. I know i'm not the only one who hates their boss. I wish I could up and quit my job like so many other people do with no back-up plan lined up whatsoever. Because I definitely would have 10x over by now.:explode:

You are going to have to stand up to that Pr*ck. I had someone try some sexist mess with me when I first started this job in May and I told him off.

I can not stand sexist men that *think* they can speak to a woman in a degrading or deragatory manner. I will put them in their place and show them they have no power over me.

I will not let anyone disrepect me. You have to COMMAND respect from people in general, but especially from people like him.

secretlobster

Honestly I have NEVER had to confront a male coworker about bad behavior. I don't know what it is but they have always known to treat me with respect, without me ever having to TELL them to.

You're lucky. I work in the real estate investment industry, most of these guys are self-important men who live in multimillion dollar houses here in Connecticut and travel on private jets, and who seem to have forgotten how to interact with people who don't exist to either serve or compete with them.

PaleoPath4Lyfe

You guys are all right, I need to stand up for myself...but on the other hand, I am fairly new here (only been here 1 year) and I'm honestly afraid that if I do stand up to him, he'll be harsher on me and think "oh SHE wants to get an attitude with ME now?" I really don't understand having to be mean to someone who is mean to you, so that they won't be mean anymore. Doesn't make any sense. I've always been a "kill them with kindness" kind of person, and that obviously doesn't work with this guy.

Not to be a jerk, but this is a common mistake that seems to be specific to women. It's also why we don't end up with the same salaries as our male counterparts.

You're setting the precedent that it's okay for him to talk down to you. He's just swinging his d*ck around and seeing how much he can get away with. Do you think he will (or CAN) fire you for saying "I don't appreciate being talked to like that"?

I work in a heavily male-dominated industry (IT). If I didn't grow a pair, I would be walked on constantly. Instead, I'm making a high salary and over the years I've earned respect from my colleagues who don't take advantage of me anymore because I don't work in the bullsh*t department. It isn't easy and it isn't fun, but you do have to be assertive, at least, if not slightly aggressive. You can be direct without being unprofessional. Don't talk to HR. Talk to him and treat him like a man who can handle criticism.

You don't automatically get respect. You earn it and demand it. ESPECIALLY from your superiors.

Very well stated. I am like you and work in IT also and I have worked myself into a high salary over my years of gaining respect as well as work experience.

penrbrown

Honestly I have NEVER had to confront a male coworker about bad behavior. I don't know what it is but they have always known to treat me with respect, without me ever having to TELL them to.

You're lucky. I work in the real estate investment industry, most of these guys are self-important men who live in multimillion dollar houses here in Connecticut and travel on private jets, and who seem to have forgotten how to interact with people who don't exist to either serve or compete with them.

Hah! I work in Real Estate too. But not as a Realtor. Perhaps that's the defining aspect there?

Plus I live in a small town which also could have an effect on how people treat each other.

tialynn1

I have had the same problem. It actually isn't my boss per se, it is the main office where all the rules and ideas come from and don't understand all of the things I have to do. I was in tears out of frustration every day at work. My stress was through the roof. At the beginning of this year I decided to come into work in the mornings early and get walking in. It really helped with the stress. . I still have really bad days. But, it has helped. I am looking for another job too. Now that I am done with school I am really looking more into more jobs. But, I didn't have a lot of time until after end of September (when I finished school).

professorRAT

Give in to your primal urges and pelt him with poo like a monkey would.

Isn't this part of the Paleo diet?

secretlobster

Hah! I work in Real Estate too. But not as a Realtor. Perhaps that's the defining aspect there?

Plus I live in a small town which also could have an effect on how people treat each other.

We're a hedge fund, not realtors

_skittybang

I had a serious d!ck for a boss at my last company. He would call me into his office and ask me things like "did you lie about going to college?" or " You just aren't going to cut it in this field" or "your time here is seriously limited" or "what the hell is wrong with you?" He'd yell at the top of his lungs at me and other coworkers. It was a tiny firm that his daddy owned and he was on this power trip. I barely did any work for him.

One day during one of his tirades, I slammed my hands down on his desk & said "You are an *kitten*." He paused.. said "an *kitten*? Do other people think this, too?" Me "Every person who's ever met you."

In the months to follow, he started giving me his big clients and commenting of the good work I was doing. He called me in his office for my review, had a bonus lined up, a pay raise, and soon after, I quit. :bigsmile: Look on his face was priceless.

I found my backbone that day and realized that no one is going to respect me unless I KNOW I deserve it.

fbmandy55

I had the best job ever until the old lady who owned the company sold it to a Lebanese man who was less than polite. We were a company full of women/nurses and needless to say, he had the whole Muslim-hate women thing going on and it did not go over well. That workplace went from dream job to absolute hell. He cut our staff from 150-15 people within a year, he stole money for benefits and never paid premiums, we got paper checks(he said we couldn't have direct deposit, after it failed to go through) that bounced more than once.....Yet he was buying company Range Rovers for him and the IT direct to drive. He directly told one overweight woman that he couldn't have her working for the company because clients would find her obesity as disgusting as he did. Needless to say, the day I got this job, my current boss knew of my situation and asked if I felt "OBLIGATED" to give two weeks noticed. I did not, and gave him a lovely 'go fVck yourself" email on my way out. He responded saying he was going to fire me anyways. LOL! Right.

My boss now is pretty awesome. When we travel together it's fun, we get drunk, and I watch her be a cougar. She shares personal stories and gives me a hug from time to time.

fbmandy55

Honestly I have NEVER had to confront a male coworker about bad behavior. I don't know what it is but they have always known to treat me with respect, without me ever having to TELL them to.

You're lucky. I work in the real estate investment industry, most of these guys are self-important men who live in multimillion dollar houses here in Connecticut and travel on private jets, and who seem to have forgotten how to interact with people who don't exist to either serve or compete with them.

Hah! I work in Real Estate too. But not as a Realtor. Perhaps that's the defining aspect there?

Plus I live in a small town which also could have an effect on how people treat each other.

I run a Real Estate board, Realtors are a special breed of people.... :laugh:

yksdoris

You guys are all right, I need to stand up for myself...but on the other hand, I am fairly new here (only been here 1 year) and I'm honestly afraid that if I do stand up to him, he'll be harsher on me and think "oh SHE wants to get an attitude with ME now?" I really don't understand having to be mean to someone who is mean to you, so that they won't be mean anymore. Doesn't make any sense. I've always been a "kill them with kindness" kind of person, and that obviously doesn't work with this guy.

Standing up for yourself doesn't have to equal being mean. It all hangs on the tone of voice and the phrasing you use when you express your opinion. Pro-tip: never bring it up when other people can hear. First of all, you make the boss feel defencive, like they can't possibly agree with you because if they do, then everybody will want things. Secondly, it'll make them defencive, feeling as if all the employees are ganging up on him and he needs to be extra-assertive to show that he's the boss. and finally, if it does devolve into a shouting match, everybody will feel horrible. If you don't feel like you can express your thoughts coherently in speech, try writing an email/letter. Although, another pro-tip: don't click "send" right away. Finish it, then let it sit for a few hours, then read it again and see if all the phrasing is as you want it to be.

as for the snobby girl... she's not my boss. She's on the same rank as me but has a few months on me in this company... and 30 extra years or so. Apparently this gives her the right to have me do allll the dirty/monotonous work while she's the expert of "the glamorous bits" lol. Ah well... thankfully we're not in actual vicinity and I only have ot put up with her during lunch. When she goes on and on about why every single thing at lunch is not good enough.

laurenz2501

You guys are all right, I need to stand up for myself...but on the other hand, I am fairly new here (only been here 1 year) and I'm honestly afraid that if I do stand up to him, he'll be harsher on me and think "oh SHE wants to get an attitude with ME now?" I really don't understand having to be mean to someone who is mean to you, so that they won't be mean anymore. Doesn't make any sense. I've always been a "kill them with kindness" kind of person, and that obviously doesn't work with this guy.

Not to be a jerk, but this is a common mistake that seems to be specific to women. It's also why we don't end up with the same salaries as our male counterparts.

You're setting the precedent that it's okay for him to talk down to you. He's just swinging his d*ck around and seeing how much he can get away with. Do you think he will (or CAN) fire you for saying "I don't appreciate being talked to like that"?

I work in a heavily male-dominated industry (IT). If I didn't grow a pair, I would be walked on constantly. Instead, I'm making a high salary and over the years I've earned respect from my colleagues who don't take advantage of me anymore because I don't work in the bullsh*t department. It isn't easy and it isn't fun, but you do have to be assertive, at least, if not slightly aggressive. You can be direct without being unprofessional. Don't talk to HR. Talk to him and treat him like a man who can handle criticism.

You don't automatically get respect. You earn it and demand it. ESPECIALLY from your superiors.

D*mn girl, I like it! No offense taken at all. You're 100% right. (LOL @ "swinging his d*ck around". SO TRUE!) Guess I need to step it up...

laurenz2501

Oh, he literally said to me yesterday "You went to college right?" ::speechless:: :mad:

gkwatra

I had the best job ever until the old lady who owned the company sold it to a Lebanese man who was less than polite. We were a company full of women/nurses and needless to say, he had the whole Muslim-hate women thing going on and it did not go over well. That workplace went from dream job to absolute hell. He cut our staff from 150-15 people within a year, he stole money for benefits and never paid premiums, we got paper checks(he said we couldn't have direct deposit, after it failed to go through) that bounced more than once.....Yet he was buying company Range Rovers for him and the IT direct to drive. He directly told one overweight woman that he couldn't have her working for the company because clients would find her obesity as disgusting as he did. Needless to say, the day I got this job, my current boss knew of my situation and asked if I felt "OBLIGATED" to give two weeks noticed. I did not, and gave him a lovely 'go fVck yourself" email on my way out. He responded saying he was going to fire me anyways. LOL! Right.

My boss now is pretty awesome. When we travel together it's fun, we get drunk, and I watch her be a cougar. She shares personal stories and gives me a hug from time to time.

Sounds like my husband's former business partner. Needless to say, my husband is no longer in that partnership. Shortly after he left, it folded. A$$es like that have no place in business ...

sho3girl

Give in to your primal urges and pelt him with poo like a monkey would.

LMAO i SO wish this was an option !