Can you still be best friend with your ex after a break up?

hypergrl

Nope, but you can still have random sexytime

and this ^^^ i found not to be true...it just perpetuates feelings...

vendygirl

It all depends on you. I have some exs that I would NEVER speak to again and then I have my best buddy whom I dated in my last year of high school. I don't even think of him as an ex anymore. He listened to some of my insane dating stories, he was at my wedding and we still hang out ALL the time now. In fact my husband is friends with him as well. I told my husband flat out he was an ex up front so he wasn't thrown if it was ever mentioned (not that we ever really bring it up. It was over 10+ years ago now).

I can't say that everyone could be friends with their exs because it varies from person to person. It depends on the people. Just as long as your ex is aware that there is not a future then what is the problem? When you start blurring the lines then you get into the grey area.

GBOGH_5

My ex and I were together for 3 years. At some point we stopped being in love and started being more like friends than a couple. We eventually agreed that we were better at being friends than lovers. I moved out of the master bedroom and into the guest room "temporarily" until I could get some money saved up. Ended up working out really well being roommates. I still live in the guest room after almost a year.
We still hang out and do some stuff together. We never, ever hook up or anything (interestingly this is the question I get asked the most). We have a mutual understanding that if we are going to be hooking up with other people, we do it at that other person's place. We still have meals together and watch t.v. together and such. But, we just made much better friends than we did anything else. So, yes. I think you can be really great friends with an ex. If you are both mature enough to handle it.

uxbridgeheli

Best friends!??? I doubt it - you break up for a reason or many reasons.
You can still get along though as adults!
I still get on with my ex-husband but if we didn't have our daughter to parent I doubt I'd bother!
H x

Pixi_Rex

I know a lot of people say no, but I know it can happen.

I have one ex that is still my best friend and probably always will be, but it didn't happen over night we didn't talk for along time while we dealt with a lot of stuff between us, and then we slowly became the best of friends again, but we were best friends before we ever dated. For the most part though - I cannot stand my exes.

I also have a friend who's best friend is her Ex-husband, and her current husband and him are really good friends too. They mutually split as they knew their relationship was not good and it was doing more harm than anything. Again it took time, and she was completely honest with her current husband about the relationship with her ex from day one so it wasn't a surprise when he showed up.

stinkpurty

If you can see each other as 'people' and not 'hook ups' AND if you have no romantic feelings anymore then I don't see why not. However if there is any 'hope' of a relationship or if there are still feelings then no, forget it.

^^This. My best guy friend is an ex. There are no romantic feelings between us. We are more like brother and sister. However, it took a while after we broke up, for us to become friends.

Also, I don't think any other person I date should have a problem with him and I being friends. I could understand if there were concerns, but I have always been upfront about our friendship with other guys I have dated. I never lie about or hide him. I would never tell a guy you couldn't be friends with another woman (especially if she was in the picture long before me) and I wouldn't want a guy to tell me I couldn't be friends with another guy.

ilikepandasyay

Just as you broke up for reasons, you started dating for reasons too.

I try to stay on good terms with all of my ex's.

My ex-fiance is one of my closest friends (it took about a year of time apart to rebuild the friendship though) and my husband loves him too.

PurrfumeGIrl

Unless you have children together, initially you need distance (emotional and physical) to allow for recovery and go through the stages of grief. Yeah, breaking up if you had any emotional attachment to a person, involves grieving for that loss.

As long as you both keep your new relationships a priority and do not disrespect any new partners, perhaps one day you can be friends again. The more you both hold on to each other, or one holds on while the other moves on, there will always be pain. It wouldn't be fair to be emotionally tangled with him and be in a new relationship or worse yet, to prevent you from finding a new relationship.

That's the hardest part, letting go of the attachment. It's an addiction. That person was your go to for everything. But that's why you have to learn to be your own best friend and be comfortable in your own skin. The other person should never complete you only compliment you. This is a chance to rediscover yourself. Make new friends and find new interests. Allow yourself to feel.

Jennloella

I'm friends with my ex husband, we divorced 13 years ago and I've been remarried for 10. we call each other on our birthday, when our kids are driving us nuts, etc. phone conversations are never too long, my husband is fully aware of the friendship. He was a horrible horrible husband but he has turned out to be a pretty good friend. we have no kids together either.

lik_11

.....still love each other, although I know it would never work in the future, and I kind of am wasting his time really.

You wrote you're wasting his time - I think that says it all.

GeekGirl23

I have an ex boyfriend that I dated back 13 years ago that is still my friend today. He's someone I confide in for a lot of things. My husband knows about him. We haven't seen each other since I dated my husband out of respect for our sposes. We have tried to get us all together to hang out but that's fallen through a few times as we live 2 hours away now.

But I am open with my hubs about my discussions with this guy. No reason to hide anything and my hubs doesn't get jealous. He knows that was looooong ago.

Lotte34

My Ex fiance and his girlfriend are two of the most important people in my life, cherish them both. Get on better with him now than i did when we were to be married

FabMrFox

No. And it doesnt depend on ANYTHING. the person you are currently dating either has to be your (opposite sex) best friend or the relationship is doomed. No exceptions. If your current boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband isnt your best friend then you need to make it so or move on.

fbmandy55

Last time I saw my ex he told my son he would see him next week for his birthday. That was over 14 months ago.

Last time my mom saw my ex he was walking to work and she tried to run him down with her car..... So, yeah. We wouldn't be friends.

daisiemae123

It truly depends on the situation. My best friend and I became a couple (for a few years) and I think we both knew it wasn't right so then we weren't. Tough at first, yes. Worth working it out absolutely. He was a groomsman at my wedding and he and his wife just welcomed a third beautiful baby girl that my husband and I will meet this weekend. Does it work for everyone, no. Both ex's have to decide it will and future significant others need to be okay with it too.

misfitswayoflife

Yes you totally can. My best friend is my ex high school sweetheart. we dtaed for 4 years and lived together. I stayed away from him for a year until we got over each other. now we hang out a lot. HOwever it has been an issue for boyfriends that I hang out with my ex. BUt there is nothing there anymore

beckyboop712

I stayed friends with my ex for 6 years after we broke up...He was my go to when things came crashing down (which happened more than they probably should have). When I started dating my current ex and realized it was going to cause a rift in our relationship if I continued to talk to my ex, I finally let him go. It was hard but probably the best decision I made. He filled a temporary void that is now permanently occupied by my boyfriend.

VorJoshigan

Not if either one still harbors feelings of a romantic nature. So usually no.

If you want to torture this guy, then go ahead and try to be "friends" with him.

bridgelene

My experience? Best friends (not sure, my ex's and I were never there initially). Friends? Yep. But for the one who I actually remained friends with it came with a long and windey road. We ended on very bad terms -- basically we wanted different things, and I was younger and I kinda got hurt, blew up and blah blah blah. My ex never played me with it and was upfront about it. So we had no contact at all for 4+ years because I was pissed.

But we randomly ended up back in contact, and now we hang out and confide in each other some.

I do think that time with no contact was important for us -- if we were going to be friends -- because honestly, I don't think I could've ever let go of my feelings if I saw and talked to this person on any sort of basis. I just would've felt it fresh over and over again.

Aeriesified

Depends on the ex, really. If they're mature enough to make the shift back to friend, that's cool. If they want to be a spiteful, petulant child about it, then no. Sadly, I've only ended up with spiteful, petulant children, so no luck being friends with exes yet.