38lbs down. No one has noticed.

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  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
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    As far as seeing it yourself, sometimes it takes a while. I have lost 104 pounds so far, and still when I look in the mirror, I don't really see the difference. I just see the giant fat person I used to be. It is only when I compare new pics to old pics that I can see it!

    I think that sometimes other people notice, but are afraid to say anything because they are afraid they might be wrong, and it would be awkward. You have done fabulously, just keep up the good work. I promise they WILL notice, and you will feel so much better!
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
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    Just cause they're not saying anything, doesn't mean they don't notice.

    They may find it awkward to mention something, as it could be a medical condition, or force them to admit they've been watching you so closely!

  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    People get uncomfortable talking about weight loss. It's even more uncomfortable if the person was very large to begin with or has tried (and failed) to lose weight multiple times before. So, most people just don't discuss it.

    When people start to see long-term results, they will feel more at ease talking to you about it. Just give it time.
  • Lonestarlesa
    Lonestarlesa Posts: 33 Member
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    So many have said the same thing I was thinking. I do believe the ones that see you everyday don't tend to notice due to the gradual changes. I get great humor out of a co-worker that travels, she comes to town about once a month. There for a while I was gaining...little by little...every time she came to town, she would compliment me. How good I looked, how "thin" I looked...she would ask me how much I lost...etc...Then..when I actually started losing, and wearing smaller sizes...NOPE NOT A WORD!

    She is a mess for sure!:tongue:
  • mikeschratz
    mikeschratz Posts: 253 Member
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    I started out at 255 and now am down to 198 - 202 and I still look at myself and find the "fat" parts of me. But the other day I was walking in front of a big picture window on the street, saw my reflection and didn't recognize the dude in the reflection.
    My perception can really get screwed up sometimes and I really beat myself up. My best friend always tells me to "Put down the bat and quit beating yourself up!". I need to look at where I was to really grasp where I am at today!
    38 lbs is awesome and should be congratulated every single day.... so congrats!
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
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    I'm sure that people have noticed. Maybe they don't know what to say. Sometimes people lose weight because they're going through something extremely stressful or have cancer or other illness. I once said something complimentary to a coworker about her weight loss, and she snapped "it's called divorce!" I felt so low and am no longer quick to say anything.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,362 Member
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    On a side note, it wasn't until I had lost about 80 pounds before someone noticed. Now I hear people pretty much every other day say things to me like "you are looking really good" and "have you lost weight"... maybe a couple pounds. :laugh: :laugh:
    Believe me people noticed 80 pounds lost. Some people do not know what to say and others see and they are talking about it to others and not you and some want to wait to see if you keep it off and others are just plan old haters.:ohwell: :grumble: :tongue:

    Like many have stated you are doing it for YOU, but it is still inspiring and motivating when other acknowlege the change. Hopefully we have love ones who will eventually do so.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    There seems to be a kind of "tipping point" at which it suddenly becomes obvious, and at which point people will start remarking on it. It'll come. Three sizes down is stellar, keep going!

    I agree! I just mention it in conversation from time to time.. The other day one of the guys was talking about eating right etc and I just happened to mention 'Yeah I know what you mean, I've dropped almost 30 lbs in the last 4 months" and then one of the other guys say 'Oh yeah, I've noticed'. My family won't say anything - they are all morbidly obese and not ready / willing to change so I am not expecting anything there. My boyfriend actually came up behind me the other night when I was looking for some potatoes in the pantry and commented "oh wow..look at that.." So of course I'm like "what?!" and he says "You can see your curves" It was nice ;)

    Don't get frustrated, it will happen eventually :) You're doing great!
  • revpeg
    revpeg Posts: 18 Member
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    I've lost just over 30 pounds and almost no one has noticed... but that's OK. I believe that people who really care about you notice HOW YOU ARE when they look at you, not HOW YOU LOOK. I once neglected to notice for days that my husband had shaved off his mustache. However, I can tell in an instant that he has a migraine without him saying a word, just by looking at him. So, maybe you should be celebrating that the people you know care so much about you that they aren't focused on how round your tummy is today. Maybe that isn't what is important about you to them.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,362 Member
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    I look in the mirror and still see this obese person. Its like everyday im getting bigger and bigger. No one at work has noticed either and ive lost 38lbs , 20% body weight and down three sizes. I feel like this weight loss is fake and the scales are lying to me.

    I dont get why I, or anybody else can not see a difference.

    Any thoughts?
    MFP is a wonderful tool for support, use it to the fullest. I see you only have one friend on MFP. Why? If you use MFP for encouragement and support you would not miss acknowledgement as much from others. Give it a try, invite others to support you.

    Feel free to friend me. Support is a 2 way relationship! Wish you the best on your journey!!
  • Bear in mind that people's weight can be a very sensitive subject.

    For someone to comment on weight loss is, in a strange way, a back-handed insult at saying "you used to be fat". And to comment on anyone's weight for any reason can draw attention to what might be a subject they'd rather not discuss.

    If someone you worked with had been gaining weight and were now 38 lbs heavier, would you go up to them to say "something's different about you - are you getting fatter?". Course not. I know it isn't exactly the same thing and I know I'm stretching the point, but I'm just trying to help you to see that other people aren't going to know that you're open to comments about your weight, even if they're considered positive ones.

    Try not to take it to heart. You've done brilliantly so far. Of a bigger concern, to my mind, is your inability to see the weight loss yourself. You might have issues there that need to be addressed. If you have any "before pics", take a look at those and compare to some you've recently taken. I think you'll be surprised :)

    Good luck with it all.
  • dalgal26
    dalgal26 Posts: 781 Member
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    I went through that, too. I probably lost 50ish before anyone committed...that said, i have only lost about 10 pounds in the last couple of months, but everyone is noticing a 'drastic' change. Weird....:ohwell:

    Don't get discouraged, you are doing a great job! :flowerforyou:

    Best of luck to you in your journey to a new you. :drinker:
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
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    I'm the same way! I'm down from 260 to 216 and I haven't had many comments one way or the other. My pants from a tight size 22W to a 16W and finally I am begining to get a very few people ask me how much weight I've lost. I totally like what Om_Nom_Nom says! he is exactly right!!!

    You have done great so far! It isn't in vain!
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
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    I worked SO FREAKIN HARD to get my body fat down and although my husband told me every day that I looked great, no one else said a word. I thought all the "changes" I was seeing must have been in my head.

    Then my male coworker came up to me one day and said, "I'm just going to tell you this because none of these b*tches will say it to your face, but they're all talking about you, saying how great you look." My coworker had lost a lot of weight and knew how much it meant when people noticed, and he thought I should know that people noticed my change, even if they didn't say anything.

    Do you work with a lot of young women? They tend not to say anything, even though they DO notice.
  • heroldkelly
    heroldkelly Posts: 30 Member
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    I think noticing weight is so difficult for people. I know that I felt like I had been gaining before I started MFP, but I had several people tell me how I looked like I had lost weight. I finally weighed myself and for the first time in my life I had hit 300 pounds! Obviously they weren't right. Now that I've lost 23, none of them have said a word, but I do know my belly isn't a "dunlop"ed over my belt spare tire thing anymore, and once in a great while I get a compliment from someone, but not a lot. Keep at it!
  • mary659497
    mary659497 Posts: 483 Member
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    Congratulations on losing 38 pounds. That is truly a hard accomplishment. In my life I have been up and down so many times that people don't make comments to me either way. I am sure you look fantastic. Don't let other people's lack of interest ruin your MAJOR accomplishment. Keep up the good work.
  • fitmom_pam1976
    fitmom_pam1976 Posts: 1,192 Member
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    People are egocentric and they are too busy looking at themselves half the time. Furthermore, some people are just haterz and they don't want to acknowledge it in you because then they feel bad about themselves and their lack of effort or progress. Your body is changing, regardless if anyone "notices" - it takes time. One day you are gonna wake up, look in the mirror, and go "WHOA! PEEP THAT NEW COLLARBONE!" or "DAYUMMMM, MY *kitten* IS LOOKING NIIIIICE." The important thing is not to throw in the towel. You got this.

    Totally agree with this!!!!^^^^^^
  • Applegondi69
    Applegondi69 Posts: 54 Member
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    I totally agree. It's an accomplishment well made so be proud, regardless, of negative surroundings. Sometimes others are not accustomed to giving/getting compliments so they assume it's the norm. You have inspired me that I can accomplish weight loss.
  • JessicaBR0
    JessicaBR0 Posts: 256 Member
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    Have you bought new clothes yet?

    ^ Exactly! No one noticed my weightloss either until I bought more fitted clothing. Good job on your weight loss!
  • supermoo2
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    Sometimes people are afraid to say anything because they don't know how mentioning weight loss will be taken. I am sure they are noticing, but are too scared to say anything. I know that once I mentioned to someone how well they had done, but they took it as an insult...so I generally don't say too much now unless someone invites the comments.
    Well done on losing 38lbs......I am sure that you are looking amazing.......remember, you just need to change how you look at yourself in the mirror, and reflect that changed attitude in your everyday life.

    It is useful to keep at least one large item of clothing and put it on every now and again, just to remind yourself of how far you have come.