38lbs down. No one has noticed.

124

Replies

  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    I worked SO FREAKIN HARD to get my body fat down and although my husband told me every day that I looked great, no one else said a word. I thought all the "changes" I was seeing must have been in my head.

    Then my male coworker came up to me one day and said, "I'm just going to tell you this because none of these b*tches will say it to your face, but they're all talking about you, saying how great you look." My coworker had lost a lot of weight and knew how much it meant when people noticed, and he thought I should know that people noticed my change, even if they didn't say anything.

    Do you work with a lot of young women? They tend not to say anything, even though they DO notice.
    I was told my women, so I guess it varies and is more about the personality of the people you're around. It could also be jealousy. I had the one person I always sort of envied tell me how I looked great and asked what I did in the past. I felt spectacular! I 100% plan to relive that :] I also remember clearly at prom one of my fiance (now husbands) friends seen me walking down the stairs and went "WOW." LOL So I know I was noticed and I miss feeling so awesome!
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
    It took a good 2.5 stone (35lb) for the first curious "have you lost weight?" As others have mentioned before me, I suspect that some people are a little shy of upsetting people who have lost weight - it's a touchy subject. I've lost a lot of weight and some people are still polite and say "you look different, have you cut your hair?"

    Stay strong. The encouragement will come. In the meantime, be your own cheerleader! You know you've lost that much, and will continue to do so.
  • bordsilly
    bordsilly Posts: 31 Member
    I have found some people are afraid to say anything so as not to offend anyone! Let's face it most people loose alot of weight when they are having a personal or family issue or are sick. I've been told oh I noticed but didn't want to offend or pry. They don't realize that it makes us feel wonderful and gives our self esteem a boost that someone see's all our hard work. Keep up the great job and post before and after pic's if you can. Would love to see, I bet there's a big differance!!!:wink:
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    Thanks everyone for your comments.
    Yes i have bought new clothes, i dont care if no one notices...its the fact that i cant either so the weight loss must all be in my head.
    I look at photos from before and i see no diference. My before photo was. 205lbs and i compared it to one I took now at 167lbs and still cant see it. :(
    I know you probably feel weird posting the pictures, but maybe if you asked people here and they were honest youd feel better about it. If you ever felt comfy you could link me and I swear Id be 100% honest if I didnt see a difference. We also have a success forum for that type of stuff to be posted. xoxo I'm sure it is obvious and you just don't realize it. :]
  • ajfc1971
    ajfc1971 Posts: 258 Member
    Snap - it is dishearting when you don't think you look like you have lost weight. I am 30lbs down and basically in the same wardrobe. I have some things that didn't fit me that now do again but I am still in mainly the same cloths. ( God knows what they must have looked like a sausage skin lol).
    I have also plateaued for 2 wks and am starting to lose heart. But I will keep on at it and hopefully it will click and I will look in the mirror and see that I have lost weight. Taking pics is a good way ( thanks for the tip)
    Chin up
  • acuthbert93
    acuthbert93 Posts: 6 Member
    I wouldn't worry about people not noticing. They either just haven't seen the change because it has been gradual and they see you so often, or else they're a little bitter because your success doesn't make them feel very good about themselves.

    And when it comes to noticing the weight loss yourself when you look in the mirror, it will come in time. I fluctuate a lot (although this time I plan to be losing for good!) and last time I lost a major amount of weight (About 43 pounds I'd say), it took me a while after I reached my goal weight to feel good about the way I looked. I suppose I still felt like I was a fat girl, and didn't notice that I had a skinny body!
  • The problem is people who see you everyday (including yourself) don't tend to notice because it's minor changes over a long period of time. However if you don't see a friend for 6 months and you've lost 30 or lbs in that time they'll notice straight away. Try putting a before and after picture next to eachother and you'll see the difference :smile:
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    I worked SO FREAKIN HARD to get my body fat down and although my husband told me every day that I looked great, no one else said a word. I thought all the "changes" I was seeing must have been in my head.

    Then my male coworker came up to me one day and said, "I'm just going to tell you this because none of these b*tches will say it to your face, but they're all talking about you, saying how great you look." My coworker had lost a lot of weight and knew how much it meant when people noticed, and he thought I should know that people noticed my change, even if they didn't say anything.

    Do you work with a lot of young women? They tend not to say anything, even though they DO notice.
    I was told my women, so I guess it varies and is more about the personality of the people you're around. It could also be jealousy. I had the one person I always sort of envied tell me how I looked great and asked what I did in the past. I felt spectacular! I 100% plan to relive that :] I also remember clearly at prom one of my fiance (now husbands) friends seen me walking down the stairs and went "WOW." LOL So I know I was noticed and I miss feeling so awesome!

    EDIT: I totally forgot the point of this, which is I had no idea anyone noticed! I had not even thought to check my weight or measurements until I had lost 25lbs already and 4inches on my waist. I walked in our music room head nearly down feeling so ugly and horrible, then I was complimented by someone I sort of admired and it opened my eyes entirely to distorted reality.
  • Spokez70
    Spokez70 Posts: 548 Member
    My thoughts are who cares? :flowerforyou: You are doing this for YOU not THEM! One day you are going to walk in there like BAM! and they are all going to be like WTF! On that day (if I were you) I would just raise an eyebrow at them and say "what?"

    On a side note, it wasn't until I had lost about 80 pounds before someone noticed. Now I hear people pretty much every other day say things to me like "you are looking really good" and "have you lost weight"... maybe a couple pounds. :laugh: :laugh:

    This. Congratulations and keep up the good work! 38lbs is awesome.
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
    At some point you'll get people saying you're too thin..believe me.

    Well done and keep going, you are doing brilliantly!
  • 75in2013
    75in2013 Posts: 361 Member
    Yes i have bought new clothes, i dont care if no one notices...its the fact that i cant either so the weight loss must all be in my head.

    The scale won't lie to you :)

    I think losing 38lbs is a great achievement. You're a nurse aren't you? Check what it does to your medical stats, blood pressure etc. I lost 24lbs and I feel so much healthier and fitter!
    I look at photos from before and i see no diference. My before photo was. 205lbs and i compared it to one I took now at 167lbs and still cant see it. :(

    Why don't you post pictures on here. You can do it anonymously without your face etc. People will tell you the difference. Maybe that'll motivate you even more.


    Don't get frustrated! Keep up the good work!
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,722 Member
    I'm sure there's a big difference! That's a lot of weight to lose, 20% of your body weight.

    I still haven't reached the 20% mark and tons of people have noticed... but I did start at 178...
  • ggof
    ggof Posts: 41
    i had that problem too until suuuuuuuuuuuuddenly they woke up and saw it .. i still see myself as fat tho .. but i'm addressing it LOL .. keep going and be proud .. u've done well and come a long way .. lift a few liter bottles of water to feel how much 38lbs really is !!!!
  • optionalsourcewins
    optionalsourcewins Posts: 457 Member
    Definitely don't let this get to you or discourage you. You are doing a GREAT job - 38 lbs. is fantastic!!! Keep at it and I'm sure soon you will be getting lots of compliments. In the meantime, why not post your progress here on the "Success" board? I love to check out that board - keeps me inspired and motivated. :smile:
  • kathim429
    kathim429 Posts: 379 Member
    Have you bought new clothes yet?

    I have lost 34 lbs and it has only been a couple of weeks that people have noticed. Seems like no one said anything until I got some new clothes that fit my new size. But I agree, I think sometimes people just don't know what to say. The first person that actually said something to me actually got a hug! I didn't know her all that well, but I was so excited!!

    Congrats and great work on your loss!!
  • grammysboy
    grammysboy Posts: 151 Member
    Have you bought new clothes yet?
    Find something that fits kinda tight and people will notice. You'll be nicely surprised too!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Sorry if someone said this already, but fat people clothes are designed to hide our fat bodies, and to some extent they do a good job. If no one has noticed, that could be why.

    If you have lost three clothing sizes, you are smaller. The scale might lie, your pants generally won't. It took much longer for me to realize I'd lost sizes because I had skirts with elastic in them and always wore baggy shirts anyway, but once the skirts started falling off and the shirts came down to mid thigh, I knew I'd lost weight.

    Pictures help, too.

    Even so, I didn't really start seeing a difference in the mirror until I'd lost over 50 pounds, but once the difference showed, it really showed, and now I see a difference from what I looked like even 10 pounds ago. So it does get better! Just keep doing what you're doing.
  • NCchar130
    NCchar130 Posts: 955 Member
    I worked SO FREAKIN HARD to get my body fat down and although my husband told me every day that I looked great, no one else said a word. I thought all the "changes" I was seeing must have been in my head.

    Then my male coworker came up to me one day and said, "I'm just going to tell you this because none of these b*tches will say it to your face, but they're all talking about you, saying how great you look." My coworker had lost a lot of weight and knew how much it meant when people noticed, and he thought I should know that people noticed my change, even if they didn't say anything.

    Do you work with a lot of young women? They tend not to say anything, even though they DO notice.

    Love this. My office has 51 females (mostly in their 20s-30s) and only 8 males. It's the men who have noticed and complimented me the most.
  • waldo56
    waldo56 Posts: 1,861 Member
    It's a bit like a dam. Holds steady, then springs a leak or two, then it just collapses and the flood begins.

    It is an uncomfortable subject for people.

    People tend to wait until you are further along. Even if they notice, a lot of people will wait until you appear to be nearing your goals to say something. Once I got to the thin in clothes point (as opposed to the pregnant man look before), the dam collapsed, the flood began, and everybody said something.

    I found the guys didn't say much, it was more congratulatory. But all the ladies be jelly, wanting to know what I did, how I did it. Probably more of an experience thing, it seems that most ladies are battle hardended lifetime dieters, guys OTOH may or may not have dabbled in weight loss at some point in the past.
  • thecarbmonster
    thecarbmonster Posts: 411 Member
    Are you wearing the same clothes? I'll be consistently losing weight and no one will notice until I wear a certain outfit that really shows it off.
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    I look in the mirror and still see this obese person. Its like everyday im getting bigger and bigger. No one at work has noticed either and ive lost 38lbs , 20% body weight and down three sizes. I feel like this weight loss is fake and the scales are lying to me.

    I dont get why I, or anybody else can not see a difference.

    Any thoughts?

    Believe me when I say that your body is changing. I look in the mirror and still think I look like I'm 320lbs. It is not until I compare old pictures to new ones that I see the difference. About your work place, some people don't feel comfortable congratulating you on weight loss because they don't know if they may offend you. The offense is really because if they noticed that you have lost weight then they sure in hell noticed when you gained it. Take pictures and compare them side by side. You'll see a difference.
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Many varying reasons...

    1. Maybe people simply do not pay attention to your weight. There is a very good chance that they simply have gone beyond looking at you as "fat" and so when you lose weight, they also don't notice because they DO NOT CARE about your weight.

    2. Larger people clothing hides a lot. Heck, many different clothing types can hide things. I have used this to my advantage for years. When I tell people I am trying to lose weight, they look at me funny.. little do they realize I am great at hiding love handles lol.

    3. Many times people feel odd about noticing someone losing weight... it implies they thought you were fat before... and despite true or not, many see that as insulting, and very few people wish to insult others, especially about weight. I mean, if I complimented a co-worker on weight loss, I'd be worried that they would think I thought them fat before and judged them as much. I'd also be HORRIFIED if they hadn't lost weight and I said that lol.

    In the end:

    THE SCALE DOES NOT LIE. Your clothes will not either. Lower numbers, smaller clothes... you're doing just fine.
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
    I've still been having people ask me if I've lost weight even after 140lbs. I don't know if it's something people are worried will offend someone by mentioning or what but I do know it can take a whiiiiiile for people to start saying anything. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong at all. Just keep with it and you'll get to where you want to be. :)
  • Andrew_peter
    Andrew_peter Posts: 94 Member
    40 lbs down here, and the people I see on a day-to-day basis mostly through work have only commented on my face so far in terms of noticing something different. Went home to visit family recently through first time since the holidays and everyone commented on the progress.

    Also, I think clothes have a huge part to play as I find it hard to notice myself while still wearing my same stuff. Time to bust out some of my old high school duds that may fit again I think!
  • I'm at about 33 lbs lost and nobody has noticed for me either, not even some that haven't seen me for a while. I even announced the loss and nobody congratulated me. Kind of sucks. However I figure that if obese, you just look fat to anyone that hasn't been obese, so when I cross into just overweight is the threshold for when I will get mad if they don't notice. When people can really say you look great, that's what you should aim for.
    I personally like the stealth weight loss, because it means if you don't see people for a while you can shock them later. Wait for the next holiday party picture and then bring out the ones from last year and be like, wow look at me last year, what was I doing? People will notice with a picture right there.
  • Juliebean_1027
    Juliebean_1027 Posts: 713 Member
    I lost 47 pounds before anyone said a word to me, and that person was a friend who I hadn't seen in months. I think it's harder for people to notice if they see you every day because it's more gradual. Try not to let it discourage you though.

    As numerous other people have said, take photos. This is my method of measurement now. For months the scale wasn't moving, but my clothes were fitting better. I couldn't see a difference when I looked in the mirror, but when I took before and during pictures, I could really start to see the changes. (It helps if you're comfortable enough to take the photos wearing very little clothing, that way you can see the rolls and creases in your body that have disappeared--something that clothing often covers up.) Good luck to you, and hang in there!
  • krystina_letitia9
    krystina_letitia9 Posts: 697 Member
    The mirror can lie. Take progress pictures ever so often and compare them side by side.
    Even if nobody is saying anything yet, 38 pounds is a significant achievement! Surely you've felt some difference?

    THIS! And take measurements too. Besides, are you losing weight to be healthy or for a personal reason? Or to get compliments? Sure the compliments are nice - but you're doing great and 38lbs is HUGE. Great job!
  • Sjenny5891
    Sjenny5891 Posts: 717 Member
    They don't really notice if it is gradual.
    The guys at work only noticed because I bought new clothes after i dropped 3 pants sizes. The XXL shirts hid the change.
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
    I'm in the same boat: down 42 lbs and not one peep outta anyone.

    Here is my thought: people just don't know what to say. If they say, "wow! It looks like you've lost some weight" they worry that you'll think they thought you were grotesque before.

    So instead of running the risk of insulting you they just say nothing.

    I know it's a bummer. You're not doing it for them, but you've worked really hard and acknowledgement would be nice.

    Don't let that get you down, though. 38 lbs is awesome. Keep up the great work!

    I agree - people in general are so sensitive that many are afraid to compliment in fear that individuals will take it the wrong way. I told a young lady the one day that I loved her hair. She had it all different colors and fixed up; it just was very striking. She took it that I was making fun of her - not complimenting her. I came to the conclusion that I'm too old to compliment people on anything so I have decided to keep my mouth shut too. So don't worry and look for the little signs that they have noticed. I'm sure they are there. You have done wonderful - keep up the great work and enjoy the journey.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    No one really said anything to me until I was 30-ish pounds in, other than my "diet friend." But her and I were really paying attention to each other and I saw small changes in her before anyone else.

    The first "holy crap" response was from Mom who hadn't seen me in months.

    For me, I took progress pics. I didn't see the first 15 pounds until I looked at the progress pics and it kept me going. I didn't feel like I was doing a pointless task. The big thing was buying smaller clothes, though. :)

    Basically, I wouldn't stress over no one saying anything yet. They might be afraid to say anything if you've not mentioned anything. I'm sure they've got your back, though.