Question for guys…when a woman complains..

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  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    If she brings it up then it's clearly an issue she needs help resolving from her loving life mate. Or at least I assume; I wasn't listening.
  • bestbassist
    bestbassist Posts: 177 Member
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    Passive aggressive behavior is annoying in whatever form it comes in, no matter where it comes from. People who do this are looking for a pat on the head for being "ok" even if they feel they are not. Blech. Kill yourself.
  • Dreamerlove
    Dreamerlove Posts: 441 Member
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    I'm not a guy but agree.
  • Danardeener
    Danardeener Posts: 255
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    ok i see your posts almost everyday here and they are very interesting..nothing against that!..but its becoming very disconcerting hearing you talk everyday without a head.I dont know why but Its bothering me a lot lol..just saying :explode:

    Lets face it, guys don't look at our faces when we're talking anyway but thanks for our next forum post material. :)
  • Danardeener
    Danardeener Posts: 255
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    Passive aggressive behavior is annoying in whatever form it comes in, no matter where it comes from. People who do this are looking for a pat on the head for being "ok" even if they feel they are not. Blech. Kill yourself.

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh!
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Sometimes we just want to vocalise what's going on in our head. No response is necessary. I know that for me it helps to just say it aloud instead of letting it fester inside.

    I totally agree..Same for men too.. I always hate it when men complain ( Thank god hubby dont do it often)..There is a difference about complaining about traffic and complaining about your body. There is nothing you can do about the traffic, but you sure can do something to change your body. So just plain complaining makes me mad

    There are times I tell my husband "listen Im gonna have to be at the gym a little longer this week, I gotta work on a few pounds"..Thats me letting it out, telling him what my plan is. But just b***ing about something without following up with a plan is uselss.
  • Crying_In_Color
    Crying_In_Color Posts: 246 Member
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    I disagree with you. I feel that I should be able to talk about anything with the person I am with including any negative thoughts about myself. I feel that he should be just as comfortable bring up things about himself that bother him as well. A good relationship should be completely open and honest, even about things that may make the other person involved uncomfortable.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    Like one guy already said....there's constantly whining and the occasional complaint....

    I would complain about little things or the occasional hormonal "I have NOTHING to wear and NOTHING looks good" moments but he did too actually hahaha

    He has been the only guy I dated that we would discuss body shapes/goals and workouts regularly together
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    If I were a guy, I'd want to play Bruno Mars 'Just the Way You Are' once, and I'd say, "This is the way I feel about you. End. Of. Story." And then I wouldn't want to hear anymore whining about appearance.

    Confidence, an aura of mystery, and some feminine secrets are worth preserving. Good magicians never tell how they create their magic.
  • francesiax
    francesiax Posts: 53
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    I 'complain' all the time to my boyfriend. It's not compliment fishing. If my weight is bothering me then the one person in the world that I should be able to share that with is him. Why should you hide something that is a big part of your life from the person that you are with for fear of turning them off. If it turns them off then they obvious don't care too much for your feelings. When I do bring up my weight issues it's to talk through how I feel and to maybe get some constructive criticism and a hug out of it to make me feel better. If you are making a concious effort to lose weight and things are taking a long time or not going to plan then I definitely wouldn't want to save that for talking to my girls.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I don't necessarily complain about my looks.... but my bf compliments my appearance consistently, and it just feels awkward.

    Well You boyfriend is just a d***, sorry for being harsh.
    yeah she really oughtta rethink that relationship. Gah.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    I disagree with you. I feel that I should be able to talk about anything with the person I am with including any negative thoughts about myself. I feel that he should be just as comfortable bring up things about himself that bother him as well. A good relationship should be completely open and honest, even about things that may make the other person involved uncomfortable.

    I agree that you should be able to talk about everything..but the question is "is it a good idea to"..

    Like I wonder how many times the man wants to jump your bones right after you complaining about your body ?? Thats my point, like does it bother men when we do it?
  • Crying_In_Color
    Crying_In_Color Posts: 246 Member
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    ok i see your posts almost everyday here and they are very interesting..nothing against that!..but its becoming very disconcerting hearing you talk everyday without a head.I dont know why but Its bothering me a lot lol..just saying :explode:

    Lets face it, guys don't look at our faces when we're talking anyway but thanks for our next forum post material. :)

    It's kind of hard to look at your face when your profile picture is one of your breasts...
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Every time my fiance complains about her looks she is basically insulting my taste in women.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    ok i see your posts almost everyday here and they are very interesting..nothing against that!..but its becoming very disconcerting hearing you talk everyday without a head.I dont know why but Its bothering me a lot lol..just saying :explode:

    Lets face it, guys don't look at our faces when we're talking anyway but thanks for our next forum post material. :)

    LOL

    I am certainly not going to complain about the view, although you do have a beautiful face.
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
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    ya know, all they are really thinking is "bish, make me a sammich!"
  • Danardeener
    Danardeener Posts: 255
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    ya know, all they are really thinking is "bish, make me a sammich!"

    LOL...love it!
  • irishrose22
    irishrose22 Posts: 161 Member
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    ya know, all they are really thinking is "bish, make me a sammich!"

    absolutely, or maybe if i help her solve her problems, then she will make me a sammich...lol
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
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    Like I wonder how many times the man wants to jump your bones right after you complaining about your body ?? Thats my point, like does it bother men when we do it?

    Yes, you should save the self deprecation for the after sex pillow talk. That way you can leave him with a vague sense of shame. Especially after what he just asked you to do.

    Sorry, it's Friday.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Ok ,so I'm not a guy but I AM the one in my relationship who hears the most complaints. My bf complains a lot but I have discovered when he does, it is not because he wants a 'fix' he just needs someone to talk to who he feels will understand and give support.

    I don't find him any less sexy because he chooses to confide in me. I don't feel it's a 'chore' to listen to him. This is what a relationship is about. When you love someone you are there for them. you gladly give whatever is needed. A compliment, a re-assuring hug, a kiss. My partner isn't just there to provide me pleasure or be my sex toy - relationships are a 2 way street! If he complains I help him however I can, If I have a bad day then he does the same for me.

    Yes, confidence is nice but confidence and 'complaining' are not the same thing. Some people just need more emotional support. If you don't want to listen/support/help then possible this is not the 'right' person for you.

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