Relationship advice...Please!
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My advice? Dump him. He sounds like an *kitten* and is probably already sleeping with her.0
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If it happened to me as often as he's done this to you... I'd tell him he IS SINGLE until he can figure out how to treat you properly.0
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That comment in my opinion is inappropriate, no matter how you look at it.: 1. If she asked him-she's wrong AND his response was wrong. Means she thinks of him that way and he thinks of her the same =They do not respect his relationship. FAIL.... 2. If he told her just for GP: He is wrong all by his self. Means he thinks of her in that way and by hanging out with her puts him in tempting and compromising situation everytime they're together= he does not respect you and/or your relationship. 3. You the OP confronted him and he has not A. quit being friends with her B. Earned your trust after making that statement initially, and therefore may not respect you and/or the relationship. Just my opinion. If he wants to be with you, your feelings she be his number 1 priority. Again this is just my take on the situation, based on the info that was given. Obviously I dont know all the ins and outs of your relationship, him, or what occured that caused him to make such a statement in the first place. Hope everything works out. Good Luck Love
Appreciate it... very valid points... and the thing is, a few weeks ago she asked him to take her to a dinner, he then came and asked me if it was ok.... ummmmmmmm! shouldnt that answer be obvious? i guess it wasnt.... they ended up not going cuz she called it off... but still!
men aren't mind readers. if you didn't make it CRYSTAL clear that you are not comfortable with him being around this girl (especially in a one on one situation) you can't blame him for assuming it would be okay. sounds like you need to speak up and set some concrete boundaries.
when i asked about the dinner i said "i am not comfortable with it"... but i left it up tp him to make his decision....and well he was going if she didnt cancel0 -
From a girl who has been in a happy relationship for 10+ years. Get over it and don't sweat the small stuff...
There is so much more to a happy healthy relationship than a couple of inappropriate statements.
That being said, no one can tell you how to feel so ultimately you have to do what makes you happy. The hard part sometimes is figuring out what that is.... (Guess I wasn't really that much help eh??:flowerforyou: )
Good Luck,
Alsison
lol... yes u were... thanks
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^^^This. If you aren't comfortable with them being friends, you really aren't sure he won't cheat. So, either you trust him or you don't. And, based upon what you've written, I wouldn't.Go with your gut feeling ... it's usually correct. The fact that you needed to post this means that you doubt him so stop tormenting yourself0 -
If you're still festering about it a year later then whether it was innocent of not, the damage is done. Time to move on and either find someone who won't give you these feelings or check yourself to make sure you don't have jealousy issues. Good luck!
yep. i wont deny the jealousy issues.....but arent we all at times0 -
I personally feel that you will never be able to fully trust him. He's doing things that would make any girl worried. My advice would be to move on, but usually people in these types of situations don't. They stay and continue to get hurt. Break the cycle! There are a lot of men out in the world, why settle for one who obviously has roaming eyes?0
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Oh no, none of that nonsense for me. What to do depends on you though. If you can get over it, then get over it and drop it. If nothing he says can make you feel better then drop him.0
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YES
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How long have you two been together? Throughout this time you've been together, has he given you any reason to doubt or fear that has or will cheat on you?
Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
no actually....i dont think that he will now....we have been together for 2 years now. when he said that it was about 13 months into the relationship.....but that mesage made me concerned about their emotional bond, and if he secretly likes her....idk
So, this happened a year ago?! :huh:0 -
Just wondering, you said ''My boyfriend told his female friend " if I was single, you wouldnt be single"'' so it sounds like she wasn't asking him or surely if she had asked a simple 'yes' would of done? seems like an overly flirty comment, if he said it while you were there he probably doesn't see it that way but if it was said and you found out about it I wouldn't be with him. Also after a year I don't see the relationship lasting, you have to forgive and forget or tell him you can't be in a relationship where you cant trust him. xxIt would depend on the circumstances. I was once approached by a fellow student back i the day, she asked, if I did not have a girlfriend would I date her, and that is what I said. To spare her feelings. I would not go out with her, but she did not have to know that.
True....and thats the basis of his argument, that he was just trying to make her feel better about her self.0 -
How do you feel about a threesome?
Never-mind he's doing it anyway.0 -
You should get back at him by sleeping with her.0
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when i asked about the dinner i said "i am not comfortable with it"... but i left it up tp him to make his decision....and well he was going if she didnt cancel
Well, that should have sealed the deal, then. He obviously doesn't consider your opinions and feelings important enough. It's gonna hurt, but it's time to move on. Contrary to the beliefs of some here, there are plenty of good guys out there.0 -
to me .. a comment like that means he is totally in to her and has opened the door to something happening.. she now knows he likes her..0
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If you are worried enough about it to ask now, all this time later, it's not worth it. Don't sneak around & check his messages or anything like that. Just dump him & move on. Life is too short to live in constant doubt. Somewhere out there is a man who won't give you any reason to doubt where his heart is.
this.0 -
That nagging voice in the back of your head is your subconscious picking up on something your conscious mind does not want to see/hear. It wont drop it because it knows there is more to it then you are giving credit too. Dont try to dismiss it, if its there then its there for a reason. I am not saying he is cheating but you are sensing something not quite right there and you need to dive deeper and see if it really is him that your doubting or if this is reminding you of something from your past. Once you figure that out then you will know which direction to go.
On a personal level, call me crazy but I dont let my husband have female friends. Sure he can be friends with his friend's wife, etc but strictly a female friend is not necessary. What he is going to gain from the friendship is not worth my sanity and security (or lack thereof). He feels the same and we respect each other in that respect.0 -
2 things going on.....he said if HE was single...but he's not..if he wants to be with her, then he can dump you and go be with her..you are not married right?
2nd thing...you are obviously insecure in your relationship, so figure out what is making you insecure....he's either not treating you the way YOU NEED to be treated, and in that case, he may not be the right person for you. or maybe you are being too sensitive, but only you know what is going on inside you head - and having a convo with him about your feelings is prob not a bad idea either.0 -
And I agree, dont check his text messages. If you doubt him enough to snoop then dump him and move on. Snooping is a vicious cycle and once you start its hard to stop.0
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I myself was in a similar situation, my ex, while not around me (we lived an hour apart, but spoke on phone everynight & saw each other every weekend), he woul be on these sites, that featured nekkid people's personal profiles. He claimed he was only there looking at the women's photos, but never contacting them. I only found out about it because he visited the site from my computer once while he was at my house for the weekend. I confronted him about it, & he swore he'd stop visiting. Between that & learning that after I went to bed each night, he'd be up until 2-3 am, sexting my best friend & telling her stuff like "I love you more than Kim" "When I'm being intimate with Kim I'm imagning that it is you beneath me". Yeah. Needless to say, I've moved on while he continues to pursue my best friend, who continues to turn him down (I know because he now lives 3 hours away from her, & neither her or her niece would allow him up here w/o telling me.)
My advice to you, is think really hard & use your best judgement. If there have been things that he has done on several occassions that bother you, he may not have your best ineterests at heart, & you deserve better than that! Keep your chin up, you can do it!0
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