"Your job is to take care of me"

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2

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  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Maybe because that statement doesn't really impart that he took the same vow that you did. You didn't vow to take care of him. You vowed to take care of each other. It might not hurt to remind him of that... tactfully. :flowerforyou:
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    In this particular instance, I think maybe it bothers you because you were going to help a friend in need (which is a good, kind thing to do), but instead of supporting you and being understanding, he made a rather selfish remark. In general, I think maybe it bothers you because it comes across as taking you for granted. Like he doesn't fully appreciate the fact that you do what you do because you WANT to out of love for him, not because you HAVE to. My dad had this attitude toward my mom, and they ended a nearly thirty year marriage because of it (among other things). I'm not saying you should leave him over his attitude, but I do think a serious discussion and perhaps some marriage counseling are in order before the problem becomes too serious.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    that's quite the antiquated view of marriage he seems to have
  • 17ChargerGirl17
    17ChargerGirl17 Posts: 441
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    My job is to take care of my kids... and that's supposed to end at 18 right? LOL
    ya I didnt think so.
  • natalianogueira
    natalianogueira Posts: 76 Member
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    It bothers you because it's a copout, and a one- direction statement. If it were "our jobs are to take care of each other" it would be less irritating.

    Plus the word "job" makes it into an obligation. Frankly you married him to enjoy all the benefits of being married, love, stability, a best friend who is there to support. Suggesting that any part of that is an obligation takes away all the best parts of it.


    This. ˆˆ
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
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    When I was a stay at home mom, I always thought and felt like it was my job to cook, clean, raise our kid and take care of him. (He thought that also....bothered the hell outta me at the time...but now that I work I kinda understand...)
    Now that I'm working he will equally do his part, he will clean and cook what he can to help me out...

    I'm in home health care, I see clients trying to care for their spouse who is ill, and it takes a toll...but they do it (with help).
    Hubbys a few years older than me and in the Marines, so I know one day it will be my job to take care of him when he can't do it whether old age or god forbid an injury....I'm willing to do it, I married that man. :heart:
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Is this one of those female validation threads?

    Not like, a thread asking for advice?

    I need to know it dictates my response.
  • DebraYvonne
    DebraYvonne Posts: 632 Member
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    that's quite the antiquated view of marriage he seems to have

    I agree with this.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    Just break up.


    annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd </thread>
  • Br4ndi
    Br4ndi Posts: 177
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    just get back in the kitchen and make him a sammich
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
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    Just break up.

    yep, this is your only option.

    I thought your avatar was a naked bum.
    I actually still cant figure out what it is..

    I think it's a bicep...I think....
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
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    Just break up.

    yep, this is your only option.

    I thought your avatar was a naked bum.

    that's not what it is??
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Just break up.

    yep, this is your only option.

    I thought your avatar was a naked bum.
    I actually still cant figure out what it is..
    i think its a naked bum too

    Indeed it is.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Just break up.

    yep, this is your only option.

    I thought your avatar was a naked bum.
    I actually still cant figure out what it is..

    I did at first too! Upon further review, it looks like a really nice bicep mucle!!
  • GadgetGuy2
    GadgetGuy2 Posts: 291 Member
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    Looks like a plumpish tricep (muscle under the upper arm).
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
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    just get back in the kitchen and make him a sammich

    no skully now end thread
  • TrixieTN
    TrixieTN Posts: 30
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    when i get married, i hope my wife would take care of me. i shouldnt be left to my own devices. i would never get anything done!

    I think this is a good general rule for most men... never leave them to their own devices :laugh:
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Just break up.

    The correct terminology is DTMFA
  • Ivian_
    Ivian_ Posts: 276 Member
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    Just break up.

    yep, this is your only option.


    Since this site cuts your avatar picture on the forums, and only displays the full picture when you click on view profile, I swear it looked like you had taken a side picture of your *kitten* without underwear on. It wasn't until I clicked on your profile that I realized it was your bicep. Maybe I'm just perverted.

    EDIT - I'm not the only one!
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
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    obviously, the answer is to end the marriage. No husband should want or expect his wife of 20 years to take care of him if he were to get sick. We all (men) know that the shotgun should have an extra shell in it for those matters.

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