I am an enormous failure

ccckwalk

You have got some amazing comments on your post. We are here, through MFP for each other. We all need encouragement and support. This whole life thing is tough and we all live differently with different values and beliefs. What we all have in common is we want to be happy, loved, and healthy.
Add people on here that you can relate to, that you believe will support you. Feel free to add me I am on here everyday and would like to have you as a friend.

You know you are going to have to do the work and take the time to push yourself again and make wiser choices. Let us be there for you to congratulate you when you succeed and motivate you when you need help.
A failure is someone I believe doesn't care or want to care and you my friend care. Get out and go for a walk, take a breather and get started!
~Corina

larryc0923

You are a special person with so much to offer, not a failure. You are a determined person not a quiter. Carpe Diem!!

buzzcogs

You can do it. Not a lecture but just a request not to give up. Don't give up on having a relationship either. Take care of yourself and put yourself out there and you would be surprised what happens.

Big Hugs!

aross001

Your not a failure until you quit! you have lost 100lbs before you can do it again! be a winner because they never quit!

Totally.. a true failure wouldn't connect to the community like you just did. Keep going man, you're facing the right direction.

pinky_pie

I'm friending you so we can encourage and support each other. I'm trying to lose 100+lbs and recently had a set back. The good thing about this whole process, is that we can come back to it again when we do have these set backs.

I was thinking the other day, it's funny how when a person tries to quit smoking (been there, done that), it takes several tries to actually be able to quit. And more people are more encouraging when it comes to quitting smoking, than it is when we lose weight. It's even understood and empathized more when a person falls off the smoking wagon.

But, when it comes to weight loss - we and others are harder on our selves when we have set backs. Why is that? Something to think about.

Failure is when you don't try.

YaGigi

Please do not give up!

Start your healthy eating again and go back to gym. You dd it once, you'll do it again.

And don't feel that way about your personal life. You should never feel shy about your weight, we women look at personality. My uncle is 50, about 400 pounds and he's married 4th time already! He's one big love bunny, actually I'm afraid he cheats on his wife and its not his last marriage.

Come on, dude, don't be sad! There are so many successful stories here, check them out, it'll help to motivate you!

Hugs!

AliciaStaton

Hi, no one is a failure, if you were, you would not be on here . No one wants to be on their own, but you have got to lose weight for yourself, not just to find have a relationship, you have to think your health and the future. Hopefully this will include sharing your life with someone who loves you for you. This isnt a lecture, but if you dont love yourself, how can you expect to love a girlfriend or find love. You should be proud that you lost weight before and you will again. It is not easy, it is a hard and long journey and this is a great site for support and motivation. I have sent you a friend request if you want to add me, feel free if not good luck on your journey

margiea7

In your profile picture, I see a good-looking (although sad) guy. Don’t give up because of the weight. You’re only 32. You’ve got time to do and be and experience an awful lot of things.

I think a lot of us start - and restart - the weight loss process with feelings of self disgust and hopelessness, but please try not to think in such extremes.

Also remember that it won’t take losing 100lb to start feeling better about yourself. Personally, I felt so much better about life after just a few weeks of making an effort to control my diet and exercise - long before any weight loss was noticeable. I think this had to do with regaining a sense of control. Give it another chance!

hattie491145

I hear you and I see you. I think a lot of us have felt really low at times, I know I have, and I was trying to think what I would have wanted to hear (I know you said you didn't want a lecture). I think this might be it....


If you did nothing but sit, naked and silent in a dark room for the rest of your life, you would still be a valid person. Therefore NOTHING you could do in this life, especially not a number on a scale, could make invalid as a person. You matter, and you are important enough to love, to care for, and to have hopes and dreams that you can work towards.

My pain only stopped when I stopped listening to the voice in my head which screamed "you're worthless and unloveable" but you have to decide to ignore it and keep deciding every day.

kchaney2003

You are not a failure until you give up! One reason that I love this sight is all the support and you can always find at least one person who can relate to what you are going through.

You CAN do it all it takes is one day at a time and tons of MFP help :-) I am down 12 lbs, and looking to loose another 50 I have all kinds of set backs, and a horrible sweet tooth but if you would like a new friend you are more than welcome to add me.

EnchantedEvening

I would never lecture you. I say that from true understanding.

You can't play woulda/shoulda/coulda. If I'd had the right doctor at 19, I wouldn't have spent 16 years gaining weight for almost no reason and being miserable. But I can't get those years back; I can only look forward, so I try not to dwell on it. I try not to think, "If I'd started two years ago, I'd be at my goal weight." It serves nothing but to make me feel more depressed, so I make plans for things I'll be able to do two years from now instead.

I was single for most of my 20s and 30s. It is hard to meet people who love you for who you are when you're obese. I get that. I did have dates here and there, but they just used me. It wasn't until three years ago I met someone, and even then I was nervous my weight would bother him. It doesn't, but I'm still happy to be losing weight because I feel uncomfortable being naked around him, despite how much he loves me.

You've done it once, so I have no doubt you can do it again. You can add me as a friend if you want. I try to comment on everyone's diary, exercise, and weight loss every day. Just start slow. Keep a blog. Do whatever you have to do. What did you do last time? What kept you motivated? Find that motivation again.

Also, I recommend seeing a counselor, mostly because you sound so defeated and hopeless. I don't want you to feel like you don't want to wake up tomorrow. I remember those days; I remember the sadness. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Please consider seeking therapy so you can get a grasp on the root of the issue instead of trying to do everything while you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

hbm616

You are not a failure!
I think many of us have faced those same set backs before. The best thing you can do now is to not give up. Sometimes the only thing that motivates me is knowing that I have already lost so it must be possible to lose more. You know that you are capable of losings so now you just need to stick to your guns and see it through. I also have dealt with depression for much of my life and I have found that eating well and exercising has alleviated much of my symptoms. If you take one day at a time, log every thing and start to exercise I really believe that you will start to feel better physically and mentally.

TheCaren

No judgment here. To me, a winner is someone who gets up just one more time than he falls down. So you're up. And no, you aren't starting from where you were last year, you're starting from where you are today. Would it have been easier to keep going if you didn't regain the weight? Sure. But that's not where you are now. So focus on where you are now, remember what worked for you before and focus on that. I have seen a number of guys on here with 200+ pounds to lose and they're doing it.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Which is how you're gonna tackle this weight issue. One day (and bite) at a time. Good for you for getting back on track. Feel free to friend me if you wish to add friends.

paxbfl

I relate to your story because I lost a bunch of weight and gained it all back also. Then I looked at the weight I needed to lose and it just seems so overwhelming. I did it before, so I know the work it takes, the commitment. And I just didn't feel like I could do it. I went like that for a while.

Then one day I just got MAD. I don't know how else to explain it. I guess I just recognized that I was better than this. Damn it... I knew how to lose the weight, I had done it before. Why was I just sitting around gaining weight? So I got started again. I'm only 5 weeks in but I've already lost 16 pounds and I feel GREAT.

You sound like a good guy who has struggled a bit, as we all have. We can both do this. Start today, and tomorrow will be a better day. Just take it one day at a time - don't look at the whole thing as it can be overwhelming. Focus on losing a pound or two a week, and you'll start to feel so much better.

Soon you'll be happy with yourself and proud of yourself for what you've accomplished, and someone will want to spend time with you - extra skin and all. Good luck!

BrettPGH

You are not a failure. Not you. Not this day.

Friend request on the way. Change starts now. You will have the life you've dreamed of and you're going to work for it. Every day. And you'll have help and fun along the way.

You're going to be amazed at the things you're capable of once you give it a shot.

realme56

Brian, food addiction is the absolute worse addiction to have because we HAVE TO EAT! Just like other addiction, food also gives us emotional feedback or fills our boredom. It never judges us, it just tastes good, goes down warm or cold....whatever we need from it.

I think how much I hate my "wings" but I am happy to have lost (again) and really want to keep it off this time cause my daughter is important and I want her to be as happy with my success as I am. I hope you can find something or someone that makes you want to do this and helps you to stick to it. Every little bit you lose is a step in the right direction, hang in there.

mabelbabel1

You've done such a brave thing by pouring your feelings out on here....that's the first step.

Take small steps....you can change so much, you do have the strength to get through.

Things will get better and easier.

Forget the past year, forget yesterday....they're done...over...finished.

Get a pen and paper and write yourself a list of all the reasons why you want to lose weight and then a set of small realistic goals.

Then tomorrow, when you've got your mind clear on what you want and how you're going to achieve it, you can begin the first day of the rest of your fantastic life.

You can do this and there are plenty of us here who are willing to support you.

You are worth it!!!! x

:flowerforyou:

beaches222

First of all you are not a FAILURE! You lost the weight ONCE and you can do it again. It happens. Just give it another chance and add some supporting friends and trust they will get you through and maybe that will fill some of your lonely time. Once you start losing again you will start feeling so good about yourself and that person to fill your lonely void will come along. I know it seems like alot of weight but dont look at it that way.. Take ONE POUND at a time! Remember you will have days you slip but just pick back up the next day! Now get started and put a smile on your face!

Colorfan

The highest I ever weighed was 452 lbs. This time last year I was down 94 lbs. I weighed 358 lbs and was on my way to getting it done. I had a ways to go, but I was down almost 100 lbs. I don't really understand what happened. I can only really explain it as being in a daze and time just slipping by, but as of today I weigh 444 lbs. Do the math... I gained almost everything back in a year. I really feel just so absolutely defeated right now. It's hard to even think about continuing this life. I had a final goal of 235 lbs. At the rate I was going I would've reached that goal right around the end of October this year. Instead, I am back to where I started.

What hurts the most is that I am well aware of the fact that I will always be alone as long as I am this way. I am 32 years old and have wanted nothing more in my life than to have someone in my life. I have never had a girlfriend. I thought I would be married and in love and travelling and doing all kinds of exciting things at 32. Instead I come home from work every day to an empty dark house and it's just me. It's always just me. Even if I lost all the weight I would have issues. Saggy skin is not attractive and at 444 lbs you better believe I am going to be nothing but a blob of skin if I lost all the weight.

I have lost any glimmer of hope that i was hanging on to.This has been something I have been struggling with my life. The difference between then and now is that I used to think to myself how it would all work out and I would fall in love someday and I could then make up for all the lost time and experiences. Now I realize that it isn't working out. I am still single. I am wasting away and I would much rather just speed up the process than sit around and suffer like this. I would love nothing more at this point to just not wake up tomorrow.I just cannot live like this anymore. I am so physically uncomfortable. I am so mentally exhausted. Most of all, I am so incredibly lonely.

Please do not lecture me. I do not know why I am posting this other than i feel like I have to tell someone, even if it is just people I do not know.

I feel ya brother. Im not here to criticize you or whatever. But just know you arent alone in this struggle. Im in a similar situation. Im 30, never dated because Ive always been fat. I wasnt as big as you, but I was 318. And really, once youre 300 lbs, its all the same afterwards. The desire to not be alone is part of whats driving me to lose this weight, as well as wanting to be healthier. Ive been a health wreck all my life and I want to change it.

But you know what man, youve done it. Youve lost that weight before, you can do it again. But just know theres others just like you struggling to do the same.

larsen626

OMG this is my so worst fear!!!!! I am loosing weight for the first time in my life I started at 400 lbs at 5"2 a bmi of 74 I was feeling lost I had been doing weight watchers for 3 yrs unsuccessfully I joined my fitness pal out of desperation because I had meet with a gastric bypass surgeon he told me that I would have to loss 50 lbs first and I did a lot of crying a searching and found this life saving site!!!!!!! I will pray for you to have strength and the power to make it!!! stay with it you are worth it!!