At what age would you allow your child to use facebook?

megleo818

12, but they had to friend us. They're not particularly interested in fb, though, and mostly use it to stay connected with their cousins, who live across the country. Our now-13-year-old is dedicated to Instagram and Twitter, which we also monitor. Our still-12-year-old texts, but doesn't care much about social media in general.

Editing to say that if we didn't "let" them, they'd likely do it anyway. This way we get to monitor what they're doing and make sure they're safe. By the time I was 13 I was smoking cigarettes, so I know sneaky (and dangerous) behaviors happens at this age. The longer we can keep our kids open about what they're doing, the better we'll feel as parents.

Tough decisions! Parenting is such a minefield ...

peanutbutterpretzels

I got my first facebook in the 5th grade...but my parents later forced me to delete it which just led to me making a new one in 6th ;D lol

Rachielous

Never. Facebook gets you pregnant.


True story.

Cannot tell you how loud I laughed at this!!

Pixi_Rex

I intend to raise my children apart from the social media trap. I was raised without a cellphone, without the internet, without social media and I intend to raise my child the same way.

Around 16 or so they will be allowed to have internet access and all that. But until then I am going to do my best to teach my child to interact with human beings apart from electronics. I think that's the best gift I can give my child. especially in this day and age where children text each other but don't know what to do or say when they're face to face.

My brother said the same thing about his daugher and she uses it almost daily. She didn't until this year when she started using it for school stuff (extra math and spelling that her teacher sent home) and other educational websites.. His daughter will be 8 in January with supervision the internet is a VERY safe and fantastic place for kids to learn. Facebook - he hates facebook and doesn't use it himself so chances are she will never have one but saying you wont allow them access is kind of hard being as a lot of stuff they do at school now revolves around the technology.

I am socially awkward but I was this way before the internet so the internet didn't do that. In all honesty I have no issues with face to face comminication. I was on the internet at 12, I was in chatrooms at 12 (which at the time where really very popular) - I have made some very amazing friends whom I am still in contact with after 15 years and social networking has made staying in contact with these people so much easier.

I think if you teach your child how to use something properly there is no issue. My 12 year old cousin is on facebook and his mother monitors it VERY closely..she has his account information and is his friend so she sees what is happening, he is also on my friends list. To this day there has not been an issue with his account.

melinda200208

My 13 year old boy has it. I have his account information and we have to be "friends."

This morning, he told me he'd be a much better dad than I am (just took his phone for usage violations). I told him that if he does end up a better dad than me, I'll take credit for raising him that way.

Love it! Exactly Tough love!

_shortstack

My daughter has family all over the country so she had one at 10. She does not know the log in or the password, and family members are her only friends. I have complete control. She asks me to log her on maybe every 2 months.

This.

Alex_is_Hawks

My daughter has had facebook since she was 8, she has also had an iPhone since she was 9, however like a previous commenter had said, we have family that is worldwide. With many of her cousins in different provinces (MB, Ont, BC, AB) and continents (England, Scotland, Morocco), facebook has allowed them to keep in touch relatively painlessly, along with skype.

I monitor her usage (recently had to delete her father for inappropriate facebook content.) and to be quite honest, since she's had it from such a young age, while all her friends are rabidly frothing at the mouth to have it, she's very "Meh, it's nothing special, it's boring to be honest, I just like the games".

So yup, she has it, and she's not impressed.

Lauren

heatherloveslifting

There's no age, it's just when they're ready. Also, I have discussed it with them and told them that they need to use fake names and they can tell their real friends what their fake facebook names are. This provides a little protection. Also, I must have password and full access and I will log in and monitor their activities. I will also be "friends" with them so I can see everything.

Obviously, this would only last until they got older. Again, I don't know what older is. Probably old enough to figure out how easy it is to create a new email address via Gmail, and then create another identity on FB. LOL.

If you are going to allow your kids to learn the internet, such as facebook, be prepared for them to start "learning" it. Once they learn things, like how to set up email accounts on their own. You'll never really know what they are doing. They will have a mom and dad email, and then they will have their real one that you will never ever know about. LOL. You have to understand this. People that think they know everythign about what their kids do on the computer makes me laugh.They are smarter than that. My son is only 10, and is only a small step away from getting into my computer registry and reprogramming things.

Agree! People who think they are going too set an age and monitor everything are delusional.

doobabe

Im open for discussion when she turns 13. If I decide that she's ready, I will set up the page for her, have her password in my possession and monitor her friends and photos at all times. Her profile will be private, and if I ever see an issue in the works, I will yank it away immediately. Similar to her cellphone situation. I randomly rifle through it, with the understanding that if I find something I dont like, its no longer hers.

Yes..... Im a bit of a Nazi....... but if thats what it takes to protect my child from whats "out there", so be it.

che3317

alex that makes a lot of sense

KristysLosing

I intend to raise my children apart from the social media trap. I was raised without a cellphone, without the internet, without social media and I intend to raise my child the same way.

Around 16 or so they will be allowed to have internet access and all that. But until then I am going to do my best to teach my child to interact with human beings apart from electronics. I think that's the best gift I can give my child. especially in this day and age where children text each other but don't know what to do or say when they're face to face.

I like this reply. I have some of my younger cousins on FB and had a friend's daughter. The friend had her daugther unfriend me recently. My friend had asked me to let her know if I see anything inappropriate a while back. I guess our opinions of inappropriate are no longer in line with each other. On the plus side, I don't have to see what this 15 yr old is posting that I don't think is appropriate. Anyway, I'm disappointed in FB anymore. All the kids have taken over and when email forwards died, they went to FB. It's awful. And I agree with how easy it is to bully people online. My kids are young yet, but I plan to keep it out of their hands. Along with the fancy cell phones. At least until they are old enough to be out on their own.

AimersBee

kids will find a way....

i should know, i was once one....

for instance....

the 12 year old goes to their friends house (parents at the friends house don't care if they go on the net)... your 12 yr old kid makes up a facebook account.. voila..

Shua89

My kids were 14 and 15 with the rule that they have to friend both me and my husband. Their privacy settings had to be set to maximum privacy and if we said anything needed to come off their page there was no arguing it.

My oldest hardly uses FB and my youngest deleted his account after I told him to remove a post I didn't approve of. He'd rather go without than obey the rules.

I do see people let their kids have FB at very young ages and I just don't *personally* agree with it.

whitmars106

I would say 16. Facebook came about my junior year of high school, but I obviously didn't get an account until I went off to college, since that's who it was originally aimed towards. My mom would never even let me have an AOL "profile" (back when that was relevant)...Computer hacking, spam, chat room stalking, etc. are so much worse now, and people put way more information on their FB than an AOL profile....I'm sure if FB was around when I was younger, my mom would have made me wait until I was 18. I'm only 25, but times have changed so much already with what luxuries children are granted. I couldn't have a cell phone until I was 16, and the only reason for that was because I started driving, and it was for "emergency purposes". Now kids have their own cells phones at 8! And not just a standard cell, but up-to-date iPhones. That's insane!!! I think a lot of what parents are allowing their kids to do/have now is more so a show off on their part, as opposed to what's best for their children. I'm an adult and get warped into FB drama....I couldn't imagine a child trying to understand the context of text. It's no wonder so many people have a sense of entitlement.

doobabe

kids will find a way....

i should know, i was once one....

for instance....

the 12 year old goes to their friends house (parents at the friends house don't care if they go on the net)... your 12 yr old kid makes up a facebook account.. voila..

This is why I have all of her friends as friends on my page (I know more about them than she does lol), and occasionally search all of their pages for anything that resembles her (just in case she uses a fake name).............. My poor kid. I was such a wild child..... she will never slide one past me. You cant out fox the fox.

WendyTerry420

My kids joined Facebook at ages 9 and 11. But I knew their passwords back then and monitored their friends lists. Now they are 13 and 15, so I give them a little more privacy, but I still view their walls. My daughter is not on FB much anymore anyway. She likes Tumbler instead.

Shua89

Being a mother of a now 19 yr old and working with teenage kids on a daily basis, I can tell you that kids will find ways of getting a FB account if one does not let them have one. Many parents will allow their kids one as long as the parent is also a friend on the page, well guess what they will add you but will have a second FB page where you are not a friend! kids are curious and find ways!

This is where you have to out think your teen. My son tried this but I went into his friends' pages and looked for him, then just to be the mom that I am I sent him a friend request. He was not happy that he got found out! Not too much longer he simply deleted his account because he couldn't outsmart us.

WendyTerry420

Plus online bullying can become really bad really fast. I think it is way worse than other types of bullying.

I think if my kids told me that someone on the *INTERNET* was "bullying" them, I might just ground them, or smack their behinds for being a doofus.

MyPsalm63

18

dreilingda

Agree! People who think they are going too set an age and monitor everything are delusional.

Please. Technology is one of the easier things to monitor. Just because they might find a way to sneak around you does not absolve you of your responsibility as a parent.

magj0y

My oldest was 16, the youngest 14.

They've access to technology since the oldest was 4. They are both pros at doing power point presentation and gathering information for school projects.

That said,
I have passwords and their computer is in the den. The only thing in their room that plugs in is their clock radio.
With the direction technology is going, kids need to learn sooner if you want them to be able to keep up or have any sort of
advantage.
No, I didn't have this stuff as a kid, but there were several things my mom did to give me an advantage in school. If you want your kid to have a chance in school, they need to be able to use a computer by kindergarten.

Shua89

I intend to raise my children apart from the social media trap. I was raised without a cellphone, without the internet, without social media and I intend to raise my child the same way.

Around 16 or so they will be allowed to have internet access and all that. But until then I am going to do my best to teach my child to interact with human beings apart from electronics. I think that's the best gift I can give my child. especially in this day and age where children text each other but don't know what to do or say when they're face to face.

I agree to an extent, but this is a different world from the one we grew up in. I think there can be a balance of both.

I got my first cellphone at the age of 24. I'm very grateful that I grew up in a different world. These days I hear teenagers saying things like: My cellphone is my LIFE!!! And it disturbs me.

Facebook is dangerous. And until someone is mature enough to use it wisely, I don't think they should have it. 16 would be the point where I'd say; I don't think you're mature enough to handle this BUT I am going to let you have it and if you mess up your privileges will be revoked. Simple as that.

Not all teens are like that. My kids do have cell phones and do text their friends but honestly they lose their cell phones and don't notice it until they can't find it to set their alarms. They really are not obsessed with them and use them for communication purposes only.

Same with the internet. My dd has a FB account and literally never posts on it. She doesn't care.

I'm going to say that as far as the internet goes unless you homeschool them you won't be able to avoid the internet. They all have to use the internet for homework assignments from a very early age on. I did homeschool my kids up until high school and even then they had to research things on the internet for assignments. It really is the world we live in.

Bottom line is teaching them to be responsible with the tools available to them. Set limits, stick to your guns and monitor everything. They'll be better off when they do join "the real world".

doobabe

Agree! People who think they are going too set an age and monitor everything are delusional.

Please. Technology is one of the easier things to monitor. Just because they might find a way to sneak around you does not absolve you of your responsibility as a parent.

This. Its much harder to track down a keg party.......................

MyPsalm63

Totally agree Drielingda

Agree! People who think they are going too set an age and monitor everything are delusional.

Please. Technology is one of the easier things to monitor. Just because they might find a way to sneak around you does not absolve you of your responsibility as a parent.

penrbrown

Plus online bullying can become really bad really fast. I think it is way worse than other types of bullying.

I think if my kids told me that someone on the *INTERNET* was "bullying" them, I might just ground them, or smack their behinds for being a doofus.

Wow.

So sensitive of you... no really. You deserve an award for that response.

...

no. Not really. I'm being sarcastic. Clearly.

Internet bullying is real. Very real to kids especially. Psychological trauma is as real as physical or emotional trauma. If your kid tells you they're being bullied on the internet the more appropriate response might be to turn the internet off, take them aside, and build their self esteem. Not demean them, make fun of their pain and shove them aside.

makkman

High School

WendyTerry420

Plus online bullying can become really bad really fast. I think it is way worse than other types of bullying.

I think if my kids told me that someone on the *INTERNET* was "bullying" them, I might just ground them, or smack their behinds for being a doofus.

Wow.

So sensitive of you... no really. You deserve an award for that response.

...

no. Not really. I'm being sarcastic. Clearly.

Internet bullying is real. Very real to kids especially. Psychological trauma is as real as physical or emotional trauma. If your kid tells you they're being bullied on the internet the more appropriate response might be to turn the internet off, take them aside, and build their self esteem. Not demean them, make fun of their pain and shove them aside.

Thanks for the award. It's called raising strong, independent kids who don't take crap from others, ESPECIALLY on the internet.

ETA: In fact, my daughter has reported to me the "stupidity" of "idiots" trying to say mean things to her online.

penrbrown

Thanks for the award. It's called raising strong, independent kids who don't take crap from others, ESPECIALLY on the internet.

Hah! Good luck with that. I really hope your kids AREN'T bullied on the internet because clearly if they are they will have zero support.

DesireeLovesOrganic

My 10 year old has one. He mostly plays Song Pop against me on there. He has like 30 friends including myself, my husband, and my mom. He knows he can only "friend" kids his own age he knows in real life and relatives. No strangers.

TanyaGirl76

16-17