Does it matter where your calories come from?

JanaCanada

One of my MFP friends with whom I have shared a mutual supportive MFP friendship got a bit irritated with me today, and I feel bad because I only wanted to be a supportive friend by making a suggestion. If I am wrong, I will fess up and ask for forgiveness, so please let me know what you think....

Upon reviewing her diary, I noticed way too many meals eaten out at fast food restaurants, and her choices weren't the greatest. Even though she is staying under her daily calorie limit, I said that perhaps her meals could be a bit "cleaner"...that no one is perfect 100% of the time, not even me, but as a friend, I thought'd comment (and I WAS kind about it). She responded, "Someone said once to me that your body doesn't care where the calories come from...doesn't even know." and then accused me of attacking her.

So....Is she right? Does it matter where your calories come from? I have been operating under the belief that anyone can eat crap all day and still be under their daily limit, but I don't think that's the healthiest way to go about a diet if your goal is a lifestyle change that lasts. To be fair, she does manage to eat pretty low-cal and low-fat about 60% of the time, but although she is losing, it is very slow and she sometimes plateaus or has minor gains.

OK.....am I wrong, or is she being overly sensitive? Gah......I hate being "on the outs" with friends. :embarassed:

Cr01502

For weight loss she is correct. As long as her body is in a calorie deficit she will lose weight. However for general health and nutritional concern you are correct. She should be choosing healthier options.

Edit: Although she is incorrect in saying that your body doesn't care where the calories come from. Your body cares very much. Also, in my opinion if she isn't open to criticism she might want to make her food diary private but as a general rule for myself I don't ever offer advice on someone's food dairy unless they specifically ask for it.

TwinMamma09

I don't think,you were totally wrong. Some people will get defensive when you point out they are wrong or make a suggestion. From my own personal experience, my body does so much better with "clean" foods that I cook at home than going with the low cal option from a fast food joint. The processed crap that they try to pass of as food does a number on you body and the sodium levels are through roof most of the time. Yes she may be under her calorie goal but her body doesn't know what to do with that crap.

Now I don't always practice what I preach but I know what my body likes and can process easier.

Maybe just send her a note saying you were not trying to hurt her feelings and that you only wanted to point out an option to help her lose faster and be "healthier" overall.

autumnblade75

You can lose weight on a Twinkie diet, if you consume fewer calories than you burn. I've heard it'll make you irritable and your health will suffer, but the numbers on the scale will go down.

It all boils down to your priorities. Does it matter where your calories come from in regards to what? Health? Yes. Weight? No.

meshashesha2012

you're both right :laugh:

i've had days where i've received most of my calories from gummi bears, fried chicken and popcorn. i've had other days where my eating as been cleaner. i still have a good 30 pounds of fat to lose so neither makes a difference in terms of fat loss, BUT there's a huge difference when it comes to the fitness aspect of my weight loss. trust me a HIIT and weight lifting workout fueled by gummi bears and movie theater popcorn is a much different experience than one fueled by cleaner eating.

and dang, way to call your friend out ina public fashion. i know if this thread were about me, i'd be posting a verbal pimp slap in the thread ans well as pressing delete friend... but that's just me :laugh:

cstexas2012

I think the difference is that you're looking at it from a "lifestyle change" point of view in the sense that you (apparently) want to get healthier. While that's obviously the better way to go about it, some people care less about being healthy (at least at this point in their life) than they do about being thin. So she's not wrong then in going about it the way that she does, you guys will just always disagree on food choices because you're coming at it with different goals.

So, maybe she's being a bit sensitive because people don't like being told that they're wrong, haha, but it sounds like you were doing it in a nice way. I'm sure she'll get over it soon! I know how you feel though, I hate knowing someone is mad at me.

I'm no expert, but from what I've read her weight gains or plateaus probably don't have much to do with the actual content of her food. I've lost when I was eating healthy and when I was eating 1200 calories of fried food.

P.S. by MFP friend do you mean someone on the forums who knows your username?! that might get awkward...

Ashonym

This is just my opinion but unless she specifically asked for a diary review, on the one hand I can completely understand her response. I'm not sure if the body can tell the difference but I most certainly am sure that you more than likely won't feel so great depending on what you've eaten in a given day. So that much is a factor. However, regardless of whether or not the body sees the difference, if she's keeping to a set calorie amount day to day and she's making progress on her weight loss journey, what does it matter?

Who cares who's eating what unless they specifically request advice? After all, we're here to support each other. And I personally feel that it doesn't matter what other people are doing so long as they are comfortable with it and it's working for them. Everybody is different. Everybody can get away with different things or do things differently to arrive at the same ending. It's all about getting to the ending. It's all about lifestyle change, which happens one step at a time. It's all about progress.

That said, I'd say just apologize and let your well intentions be known and don't get stressed about it because that impedes your own progress! If she's making progress (losing weight, or not gaining at least) then good for her and support her. Should be vice versa. Much luck to you both and everyone here!

Guamybear

I hope more people chime in.. I would like to know..just had a convo about this with a friend.. to me a calorie is a calorie..

JanaCanada

Who cares who's eating what unless they specifically request advice?

Hmm....wondering why anyone would make their diaries public then? Doesn't doing so open you up to suggestions and friendly critique as much as it does for "hurray for you"'s and "atta girl!"'s?

JanaCanada

and dang, way to call your friend out ina public fashion. i know if this thread were about me, i'd be posting a verbal pimp slap in the thread ans well as pressing delete friend... but that's just me :laugh:

Well, I didn't mention her by user name. But I see your point. Will slap myself by the time this thread is done, I'm sure.

Sarauk2sf

Oversimplification but:

Calories = weight loss/gain
Macros = body composition (protein), energy (carbs), fat (healthy body functions)
Micros = health

ETA: fast food is not necessarily a bad choice - it depends what it is and how often

WendyTerry420

Your body will glean nutrition from any source. Yes, there are *better* choices sometimes, but eating fast food is not necessarily a bad choice, in and of itself. Yes, your body does NOT know if you had Mcd's or a homemade burger. It simply eliminates what it can't use and holds on to what it can use.

You would probably flip out if you saw my diary. But according to the online calculators, I've lost weight while gaining LBM, so I must be doing something right.

WendyTerry420

Who cares who's eating what unless they specifically request advice?

Hmm....wondering why anyone would make their diaries public then? Doesn't doing so open you up to suggestions and friendly critique as much as it does for "hurray for you"'s and "atta girl!"'s?

My diary is public just because I don't really care what anyone thinks of what I eat. And often, people ask about my diet since I've been making such good progress. I get comments often, and occasionally I get unsolicited advice. Sometimes I think, "That's good advice," and other times I'm like, "What a sugar hater!" :bigsmile:

EvgeniZyntx

A calorie is NOT a calorie. But for all intent and purpose - the most important think is to remain within a calorie deficit, so between eating fast food at your calories or over eating - guess which one is better?
Fast food isn't bad - just calorie rich.

Macro and micro nutrients. Hit that. However you like.

A calorie is a calorie is sufficient to reach our goals.

MissJanet55

I've read a lot of "a calorie is a calorie" posts, and I expect that these people don't track things like sodium, potatssium, calcium or any of the vitamin options. I eat pretty cleanly and I find it very difficult to keep up with all the nutrients my body needs.

And on a somewhat crass note, how on earth do people who eat like this poop? Fiber matters. A lot.

That being said, your friend has to come to her own conclusions. I understand your urge, I have an mfp friend who rarely eats vegetables, and I have to bite my tongue every time she completes her diary. But we don't all start in the same place, with the same amount of knowledge, we all learn as we go.

JanaCanada

OK, thanks everyone. I am learning a lot. I also sent a letter of apology. Perhaps I overstepped some boundary, but my intentions were good because I care, and well, because I hope MY MFP friends would be as honest and upfront with me, too.

Peace to all! :flowerforyou:

XXXMinnieXXX

It does matter! Yes... I can eat 1400 cals with over 35% carbs all weight loss stops... Decrease the carbs to. 35% or less and it comes off again... I think at first a calorie deficit works but as you get further down the line you have to eat Smart. If I'm doing something wrong I want a friend to tell me not ***** foot around me. You said you did it nicely and if you did, you did nothing wrong...

Zara x

Ha ha blanked my p u s s y foot around out! X

stacy_1971

I was once called out by a friend who reviewed my food diary and commented "need more veggies." At first I was upset because I thought the comment was rather blunt and that I didn't ask for her advice, but after I had some time to step back from the situation, I realized she was right, that my diet was sorely lacking in the veggie food group. I do think I would have taken it better, however, if she had emailed me the comment rather than posting it in the comment section for all my other friends to read.

Some people will never take advice well, and those people, in my opinion, should make their food diaries private. I know some people wrote that if she didn't ask for advice, you shouldn't have offered it, but I don't agree. If you're her "friend" as much as one can be on MFP, then a one-time polite, private nudge is within reason.

raeleek

From a weight loss stand point I don't think it matters. A calorie deficit is a calorie deficit but to say that your body doesn't know where the calories come from is ridiculous in my opinion.

I think our bodies are smart enough to know the difference between a Big Mac and a lean cut of red meat, whole grain rice, and zucchini. The quality of the nutrients your body will most certainly notice. The better the fuel and the better your body is maintained the better your overall health.

If your friend specifically asked for your advice than you expressing your opinion is fine, if she didn't than it's not your place to comment.

Some people are out solely for weight loss and others are out for health and weight loss. I've seen both on here. How each person gets to their goal is their choice.

DavPul

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get's 90% of his meals from fast food joints. And we ain't talkin bout no salads. Eating Wendy's right now. I am dead serious. Large chili and spicy nuggets right here on my desk. Usually it's a triple cheeseburger. It's not for everyone, but this is how I lost all of my weight this year.

JanaCanada

And on a somewhat crass note, how on earth do people who eat like this poop? Fiber matters. A lot.

Oh, MissJanet, I about busted a gut reading that!!! Thank you!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

katevarner

Who cares who's eating what unless they specifically request advice?

Hmm....wondering why anyone would make their diaries public then? Doesn't doing so open you up to suggestions and friendly critique as much as it does for "hurray for you"'s and "atta girl!"'s?

I think that we leave our diaries open for different reasons. I leave mine open because I think it makes me more accountable. I even find myself explaining my choices when no one has asked about them if I am feeling guilty about them. I think some others leave them open to show how few calories they are eating or how many. I'm sure there are lots of reasons.

Sorry that she was upset, but unless she is a really close friend, I wouldn't stress over it. Either she will get over it or she will continue to be mad at you and you will have to decide whether the friendship is worth it. I find that I have several "friends" on MFP who are sorry they friended me and others with whom I have daily supportive contact in both directions. We are not all here for the same reasons, so we don't all respond to constructive criticism in the same way.

JanaCanada

If your friend specifically asked for your advice than you expressing your opinion is fine, if she didn't than it's not your place to comment.

Got it. Bite your tongue, even if their diary is public, and even if you think you are being a helpful good friend.

Whew....never too old to learn!

meshashesha2012

Who cares who's eating what unless they specifically request advice?

Hmm....wondering why anyone would make their diaries public then? Doesn't doing so open you up to suggestions and friendly critique as much as it does for "hurray for you"'s and "atta girl!"'s?

My diary is public just because I don't really care what anyone thinks of what I eat. And often, people ask about my diet since I've been making such good progress. I get comments often, and occasionally I get unsolicited advice. Sometimes I think, "That's good advice," and other times I'm like, "What a sugar hater!" :bigsmile:

same here. i keep my diary public. i see this as a lifestyle change for me , so i'm more interested in the overall changes that lead to weight loss rather than anything specific.

the main reason i got fat in the first place was because i made none of my meals at home, so for like the first 38 years of my life i cooked nothing and ate out all the time. so i still consider it good that most of my meals are good and homemade (or at least home assembled :laugh: ) so the occasional days like a few days ago where i had BK for 2 meals isn't that big of a deal.

i KNOW i can do better, and i KNOW what thay entails, but sometimes it just doesnt happen.

and OP i was joking about if it were me i'd delete you from my FL :laugh:

BurtHuttz

Sodium has zero calories. Eat a pound of salt.
Tertiary butylhydroquinone and dimethylpolysiloxane are also calorie-free, and I'm sure they pose no health risks...

But why not just grill some fresh chicken over heat in your house?

TheCaren

One of my MFP friends with whom I have shared a mutual supportive MFP friendship got a bit irritated with me today, and I feel bad because I only wanted to be a supportive friend by making a suggestion. If I am wrong, I will fess up and ask for forgiveness, so please let me know what you think....

Upon reviewing her diary, I noticed way too many meals eaten out at fast food restaurants, and her choices weren't the greatest. Even though she is staying under her daily calorie limit, I said that perhaps her meals could be a bit "cleaner"...that no one is perfect 100% of the time, not even me, but as a friend, I thought'd comment (and I WAS kind about it). She responded, "Someone said once to me that your body doesn't care where the calories come from...doesn't even know." and then accused me of attacking her.

So....Is she right? Does it matter where your calories come from? I have been operating under the belief that anyone can eat crap all day and still be under their daily limit, but I don't think that's the healthiest way to go about a diet if your goal is a lifestyle change that lasts. To be fair, she does manage to eat pretty low-cal and low-fat about 60% of the time, but although she is losing, it is very slow and she sometimes plateaus or has minor gains.

OK.....am I wrong, or is she being overly sensitive? Gah......I hate being "on the outs" with friends. :embarassed:

I lost 30 pounds seven years ago on Weight Watchers. Stayed within my "points" every day, but my whole focus was on how to keep eating like crap for fewer calories and fat (okay I didn't think of it that way at the time, but in hindsight I realize that was it). So your friend is technically correct. Lower calories will equal weight loss. However, FOR ME, it wasn't sustainable. Because inevitably I maintained my same old "eating crap" lifestyle and slowly just quit worrying about portions, fat/calorie content, and here I am, got the thirty pounds back plus five more. Go me!

This time around I'm really trying to make my calories count. My motto is "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial", meaning that for me, I can eat whatever I want. But I'm going to really think about the benefits of that item versus the calories it costs me. Now, that being said. If I want the ice cream, I'm gonna eat the ice cream. If I want Taco Bell, I'm eating Taco Bell. I'm trying to limit those types of things somewhat, but when I do eat them, I'm focusing on what's going to best benefit me (lower sugar items because I have reactive hypoglycemia and higher protein to simple carb ratios).

I've seen many diaries that frankly make me shake my head and think "I've been where you are, and you're probably gonna end up where I am - losing it all and gaining it back". But the nice thing about MFP is we are all doing our own thing. If you ask me why you aren't losing weight and I look in your diary and it's all lo-cal but garbage, I'm probably gonna call you on it. But otherwise, I'm gonna encourage you as best I can and let you do what works for you. Honestly if someone told me I wouldn't maintain that weight lost on Weight Watchers because of how I ate, I would have been mad. And thought they were nuts. I had to get there in my own time, and my own way.

JanaCanada

and OP i was joking about if it were me i'd delete you from my FL :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: No worries, my friend! I asked for feedback, so I accept whatever comes.

belladonna786

If you want to lose weight no, if you want to be healthy and lose weight yes.
And I don't care who disagrees with me

Spartan_Maker

It's clear that you were just trying to be helpful. However, unless you fully understand the science behind fat loss, you'd do well to be wary about advising someone on his or her food choices.

I lost 80 of my 109 lbs. during a three month period where my macronutrient percentages were 10% carbohydrates, 25% protein, and 65% fat -- mostly saturated fat. During the last 11 months, my body fat percentage has dropped from 41.7% to 13.2%, while I did little more than a basic powerlifting routine and walking -- hardly even sweating. Never once was I hungry either -- not a single day. All of my health markers improved dramatically too -- my blood pressure is 110/65, down from 145/85. My HDL/LDL cholesterol profile improved even more dramatically. My triglycerides plummeted. What's more, my resting heart rate dropped from 110 to 50.

If you were my MFP friend, what would you have told me about my fat intake? Based on your post, you probably would have advised me that it wasn't the best way to approach fat loss or improve my health markers; however, that would have been hopelessly wrong because it would have been based on unscientific, mainstream health advice, the same thing that has led to the obesity crisis despite us restricting calories and exercising more than ever.

JanaCanada

My motto is "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial"

^I like this motto! Thank you!

marycmeadows

I don't care what anyone says - even for weight loss - it just isn't as simple as calories in vs calories out. Your body responds better to quality eating - meaning feeding your body properly, NOT just staying under some random calorie goal.