Guys, be honest,....
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confidence = sexually confident = male attention0
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Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
Well, since this thread is still open and has descended yet again into anecdotes 101, I will only say that you should learn on rewiring the way you think about other people, because you appear to be both overweight and shallow. You have generalized two different sexes based on incredibly anecdotal experiences, with a specific bias towards "thin/not an ounce of fat (which, come on, you're on MFP; you know that cashier you seem to harbor great distaste and possibly jealousy for is NOT below 1% body fat) people.
Sorry, not sure where you're missing that judging people based on... gasp... their weight, is shallow!
Having a preference for one or the other? Whatever.
Grouping an entire group of people with the caveat of, "Well, all the thin people I've met have no personality" or "All the overweight women I know are miraculously unshallow" is shallow.0 -
I like cheese and crackers.
You would be so hot if you would just turn into a pile of cheese and crackers.
As long as they turn into every type of cheese and crackers that exists in the world because we would not want to express a preference for a certain type of cheese or cracker. That would be wrong and almost make us look like *kitten*.0 -
That's actually not far from my preferred weight when it comes to women. My ex-girlfriend was about 50 pounds overweight and I thought she was much sexier then, as opposed to the few years before when she was at a more normative weight.
I have to chime in here with the other ladies and also toss my hat in the ring for bigger guys, too. I honestly prefer a bigger guy. That's whom I'm immediately attracted to.
This brings up a question I asked my boyfriend recently: If I prefer women who are bigger, why can't I be comfortable BEING that woman????
I don't know. It confuses me.0 -
@Umeboshi, what is your purpose in this thread? Are you trying to educate or merely crush all over it? I honestly cant figure out what you're driving at.
Possible to sum up all of your negativity in this thread into a two or three sentence mission statement? What is it you're trying to get across to us? Because right now it seems like you're saying we're all wrong for liking whatever it is we like, and I hope that's not what your point is
Because you're specifically requesting this from me, I'll respond.
1. It's great/awesome/fantastic to have preferences. Everyone has them. It's in general not a particularly nice thing to look at someone and immediately think of what they should change about themselves in order to appeal to your preferences. This way of thinking indicates a sense of entitlement for everyone to be attractive by your standards, and is general a not very accepting way of thinking. I'd elaborate but you've asked me to be brief.
2. People can have preferences for any body type and that's awesome. A preference does not equal a fetish just because a body type is less socially acceptable.
In regards to one...
It is wrong of me to mentally assess people and look at things that I don't like about them and explain honestly within myself why I do not find them attractive, but it is ok for you to mentally and verbally tell me how I need to change to fit into your views of what is right and wrong? Aren't you guilty of doing the same thing you are putting these other people down for?
Isn't that a tad bit hypocritical?0 -
Again, this is a very simple subject.
The majority of men like their women to be slender. Yes again there are groups of men who prefer bigger
ladies, they happen to be the minority.
If you are wanting to increase the pool of men who are interested in you, losing weight will do that for you.
Men are visual, men appreciate physical traits much more than personality or "confidence".
Again, there are always outliers, so just because you know a "guy who loves big women with big personality" doesn't mean he represents the norm.
Also, once again to clarify, I have read like 5 posts of women saying "well once I lost weight, i received much more attention, but I think that has to do with my confidence..."
nonononononononononononnoonnonononononononononono no.
no.
I don't care that you "want" to believe it had anything to do with your confidence, because it didn't.
Female confidence means jack for a man. We don't care if you are "confident" or if you are "shy
and reserved". We again value physical traits.
Again, outliers, etc.
This is the honest truth, you can choose to take the one or two examples you know, and try and claim it is not. Deep down ladies however you know this is true.
If you want to increase the pool of men attracted to you, losing weight and not being "fat or obese" will be a big step in that direction.
You can shout it from the rooftops man, doesn't matter. Someone will come along with 'my husband/brother/friend/uncle/nephew prefers heavy girls and so what you're saying must be false!'. It's the way minorities, particularly ones with a social stigma associated with them...work in situations like these. People feel the need to justify themselves, it sucks but it's true nonetheless. That Umeb...err, you know who girl is a perfect example of like 72 of those minorities all crammed into one person (and I think she's looking for more to join), God help her.Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
There are men who both prefer a thin woman AND care about personality. And yes, such women do exist. Thin, fit, educated women with personalities are out there. Thing is, the men who prefer thin women and personality are going to look for their match within the pool of thin women. Because that's still their preference.
This woman gets it! There's been very few of you in this thread that do. I don't want a thin, vapid, beautiful barbie, I don't want an obese or extremely overweight girl with intelligence and a great personality either. I want my equal, someone I can put my arm around and challenge the world with and never doubt her ability or desire to stand beside me. Does she have to be perfect? No! Can there be extra weight? Sure! Can she be quiet or shy? No reason why not. Can she be confident and outgoing? Again...no reason why not. Can she be heavier, yet determined to LOSE weight...thus improving her health and appearance? YES!!
Should she be complacently fat or obese, or rail thin?
Um. No.
And yes, the personality inside that shy, quiet/confident, outgoing...healthy weight (NOT by the BMI tyvm) or determined to be package is still...everything.ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
You need to get out more. I know many.
No. Freaking. Kidding.
Just take a look around MFP for 10 minutes...seriously.
Now...I'd considered posting some pictures to illustrate a few points...but I don't think it's worth the time or effort. Anecdotal evidence will rule here on MFP as usual. I'll leave you with this though...there's a reason societal norms are what they are. Did they used to indicate that men preferred woman to be larger? Sure they did!...that's because (and read this carefully!!)...at that time more men in general preferred heavier women! Wonder of wonders. At this time in history however...that simply isn't the case, and do you know how I know? Umm...look around you at what the 'ideal' you're all railing against is. Wow! Thinner, more fit women...with nice hips and a decent chest. You can blame society, the media, whatever you like...but in the end, 'society' is pretty much defined by the opinions of the majority, with the opinions of the minorities having very little impact on the whole.
Simple, simple stuff people.0 -
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My husband and I have a friend who is only attracted to heavy women. I mean 350 and up. His current wife is over that. His previous girlfriends were around that. Must be just preference. Some like blonde, some like brown eyes, some like very voluptuous.0
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So silly. I like what I like, I often find those that are not the "ideal" weight attractive. Like I said before, OP, he married YOU.0
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Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
Well, since this thread is still open and has descended yet again into anecdotes 101, I will only say that you should learn on rewiring the way you think about other people, because you appear to be both overweight and shallow. You have generalized two different sexes based on incredibly anecdotal experiences, with a specific bias towards "thin/not an ounce of fat (which, come on, you're on MFP; you know that cashier you seem to harbor great distaste and possibly jealousy for is NOT below 1% body fat) people.
Sorry, not sure where you're missing that judging people based on... gasp... their weight, is shallow!
Having a preference for one or the other? Whatever.
Grouping an entire group of people with the caveat of, "Well, all the thin people I've met have no personality" or "All the overweight women I know are miraculously unshallow" is shallow.
lol ive met thin women who weren't shallow and some who are. i just never have happened to meet a shallow overweight woman. If you're so perfect and rallying for thin women, why are you even here?0 -
I will have to say that I have found many women that are overweight to be attractive. Now I would not say hot but the same would go for women looking at a man. When was the last time a women looked at an overweight man and said "Damn, he has it goin on!"?0
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I generally do like slim girls.
But I know some blokes that like bigger girls. Remember some may not say it as it's not fashionable - just as you find some gays pretending to be hetro to make it easier to 'fit in'.
I do like 'personality'; a 'nice' one. Prefer not an air-head, but don't expect their mind to work as mine does.
And... actually I don't like too much confidence. I generally prefer the shyer, understated woman.
Which is unfortunate - as I too am fairly shy and understated. And thus over the years haven't had the success I'd like in attracting women.0 -
I like meat on my bones!! Not unhealthy but meat in my bones is a must. Just saying.
:happy:
yes, it goes both ways. very skinny women with pretty faces are noticed for being pretty, but not for being sexy. very flat-chested and hipless woman don't have the subliminal physical cues that men notice that advertise the woman as being "healthy and fertile", which is i guess how the species survived to this point.
for example, this woman (and i'm assuming this is a real photo and not photoshopped) is stunningly beautiful, but i would have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with her.
she's basically a skeleton with skin over her. there would be nothing fun about a night with her. i'd be afraid of hurting her or myself by accident. :frown:
my husband just saw that and seriously gagged. Poor man is in the bathroom trying not to wretch LOL0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
Well, since this thread is still open and has descended yet again into anecdotes 101, I will only say that you should learn on rewiring the way you think about other people, because you appear to be both overweight and shallow. You have generalized two different sexes based on incredibly anecdotal experiences, with a specific bias towards "thin/not an ounce of fat (which, come on, you're on MFP; you know that cashier you seem to harbor great distaste and possibly jealousy for is NOT below 1% body fat) people.
Sorry, not sure where you're missing that judging people based on... gasp... their weight, is shallow!
Having a preference for one or the other? Whatever.
Grouping an entire group of people with the caveat of, "Well, all the thin people I've met have no personality" or "All the overweight women I know are miraculously unshallow" is shallow.
lol ive met thin women who weren't shallow and some who are. i just never have happened to meet a shallow overweight woman. If you're so perfect and rallying for thin women, why are you even here?
I'm not the one you're replying to, but those Victoria Secret models are there for a reason. Men prefer them. A whole lotta research went into that marketing strategy. BTW, this is MyFITNESSpal.0 -
I like meat on my bones!! Not unhealthy but meat in my bones is a must. Just saying.
:happy:
yes, it goes both ways. very skinny women with pretty faces are noticed for being pretty, but not for being sexy. very flat-chested and hipless woman don't have the subliminal physical cues that men notice that advertise the woman as being "healthy and fertile", which is i guess how the species survived to this point.
for example, this woman (and i'm assuming this is a real photo and not photoshopped) is stunningly beautiful, but i would have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with her.
she's basically a skeleton with skin over her. there would be nothing fun about a night with her. i'd be afraid of hurting her or myself by accident. :frown:
my husband just saw that and seriously gagged. Poor man is in the bathroom trying not to wretch LOL
completely shopped, you can easily find the real pic by googling. 0 -
I like meat on my bones!! Not unhealthy but meat in my bones is a must. Just saying.
:happy:
yes, it goes both ways. very skinny women with pretty faces are noticed for being pretty, but not for being sexy. very flat-chested and hipless woman don't have the subliminal physical cues that men notice that advertise the woman as being "healthy and fertile", which is i guess how the species survived to this point.
for example, this woman (and i'm assuming this is a real photo and not photoshopped) is stunningly beautiful, but i would have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with her.
she's basically a skeleton with skin over her. there would be nothing fun about a night with her. i'd be afraid of hurting her or myself by accident. :frown:
my husband just saw that and seriously gagged. Poor man is in the bathroom trying not to wretch LOL
completely shopped, you can easily find the real pic by googling.
not the point.0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
Well, since this thread is still open and has descended yet again into anecdotes 101, I will only say that you should learn on rewiring the way you think about other people, because you appear to be both overweight and shallow. You have generalized two different sexes based on incredibly anecdotal experiences, with a specific bias towards "thin/not an ounce of fat (which, come on, you're on MFP; you know that cashier you seem to harbor great distaste and possibly jealousy for is NOT below 1% body fat) people.
Sorry, not sure where you're missing that judging people based on... gasp... their weight, is shallow!
Having a preference for one or the other? Whatever.
Grouping an entire group of people with the caveat of, "Well, all the thin people I've met have no personality" or "All the overweight women I know are miraculously unshallow" is shallow.
lol ive met thin women who weren't shallow and some who are. i just never have happened to meet a shallow overweight woman. If you're so perfect and rallying for thin women, why are you even here?
:sick: I think I don't need to say anymore; your comments perfectly exemplify what kind of person you are.0 -
I like meat on my bones!! Not unhealthy but meat in my bones is a must. Just saying.
:happy:
yes, it goes both ways. very skinny women with pretty faces are noticed for being pretty, but not for being sexy. very flat-chested and hipless woman don't have the subliminal physical cues that men notice that advertise the woman as being "healthy and fertile", which is i guess how the species survived to this point.
for example, this woman (and i'm assuming this is a real photo and not photoshopped) is stunningly beautiful, but i would have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with her.
she's basically a skeleton with skin over her. there would be nothing fun about a night with her. i'd be afraid of hurting her or myself by accident. :frown:
my husband just saw that and seriously gagged. Poor man is in the bathroom trying not to wretch LOL
completely shopped, you can easily find the real pic by googling.
Lol or just look at the shoddy Paint Shop paint job :laugh:0 -
I like meat on my bones!! Not unhealthy but meat in my bones is a must. Just saying.
:happy:
yes, it goes both ways. very skinny women with pretty faces are noticed for being pretty, but not for being sexy. very flat-chested and hipless woman don't have the subliminal physical cues that men notice that advertise the woman as being "healthy and fertile", which is i guess how the species survived to this point.
for example, this woman (and i'm assuming this is a real photo and not photoshopped) is stunningly beautiful, but i would have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with her.
she's basically a skeleton with skin over her. there would be nothing fun about a night with her. i'd be afraid of hurting her or myself by accident. :frown:
my husband just saw that and seriously gagged. Poor man is in the bathroom trying not to wretch LOL
completely shopped, you can easily find the real pic by googling.
Lol or just look at the shoddy Paint Shop paint job :laugh:
it's obviously paintshopped. what exactly do you think you have to defend here??0
This discussion has been closed.
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