picture of 4 yr old of what the school calls "Obese"

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  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    You are speaking about actions taken in school. Once they visit the home, the rules change. Something as simple as a dirty dish in the sink can be an excuse to make a phone call and remove the child from the home. The child would then be "touched" and "questioned" by someone with a badge and someone with a clipboard.

    ETA: I'll bet that the school didn't offer to visit your home over the eye exam. :wink:

    That's just not true. No child is removed from the home based on a teacher's phone call, unless imminent danger is present. Not all calls to Child Services are taken either, and a dirty dish would not be grounds. It's usually pretty tough for a child to be removed, and unless you personally see the case records from a case, in and out, including what's not public record, taking the parents' word for it that it was unwarranted is biased at best. OP has not stated that a home visit was mandated. They can say no, or "let's meet in the office."

    And please--don't call the news as someone suggested. If you want to breed an ED in this little girl who is almost certainly unaware of this, then call the news. I guarantee that little girl will find out that "The school thinks you're fat, my mom saw it on the news." I'm horrified that a parent would offer that advice for this situation.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    ETA: I'll bet that the school didn't offer to visit your home over the eye exam. :wink:

    You'd actually be very surprised what services are offered for home visits these days. And I repeat, for the millionth time, that the parents retain full control over where the professional goes. Again, they could sit on the front porch. They could meet at a park. Parents are not giving up rights when they accept an offer of a home or community visit.
  • agent99oz
    agent99oz Posts: 185 Member
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    That is stupid! Do these so called experts not use their own eyes! Shesshh poor child
    I actually stopped going to my Maternal Health nurse (here in Oz) they give out the most out of date advice! I go to my GP for anything child related!!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Well, it's called the news. You should check it out sometime. BBC and PBS are my typical go-to channels for news on television and both Google and Yahoo are my favorites for new aggregators.

    The news is pretty biased. And unless the confidential case files are published, we have no way of knowing the truth of what is reported. I'm not debating freedom of the press, but they have pretty liberal rights when it comes to what they publish as long as they have sources. Of course, mom, grandma, and an uncle of a removed child are often going to think it is unjust.

    Can you point us to a story where a child was removed from the home over a dirty dish?
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    A home visit from WHO? Are they suggesting social services get involved? This is government interference at it's worst.

    From the school nurse. A convenience visit. The schools don't suggest social service involvement, if they feel they are mandated to call, they call social services themselves. Private agencies, schools, nonprofit agencies, all *offer* home visits as a convenience. You can always go to the office instead. OP has not posted the letter from the school. We don't even know what was actually said. Did they say, "We want to come to your home and go through your cupboards" or did they say, "We'd like to offer you having one of our nursing staff come out to give you some education on nutrition."

    To be honest, I bet if the family didn't respond at all, the school wouldn't even notice. They fulfilled their end of the bargain by notifying the parents of a non-emergent health problem. They likely are not tracking the responses of parents on this issue.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    You are speaking about actions taken in school. Once they visit the home, the rules change. Something as simple as a dirty dish in the sink can be an excuse to make a phone call and remove the child from the home. The child would then be "touched" and "questioned" by someone with a badge and someone with a clipboard.

    ETA: I'll bet that the school didn't offer to visit your home over the eye exam. :wink:

    That's just not true. No child is removed from the home based on a teacher's phone call, unless imminent danger is present. Not all calls to Child Services are taken either, and a dirty dish would not be grounds. It's usually pretty tough for a child to be removed, and unless you personally see the case records from a case, in and out, including what's not public record, taking the parents' word for it that it was unwarranted is biased at best. OP has not stated that a home visit was mandated. They can say no, or "let's meet in the office."

    And please--don't call the news as someone suggested. If you want to breed an ED in this little girl who is almost certainly unaware of this, then call the news. I guarantee that little girl will find out that "The school thinks you're fat, my mom saw it on the news." I'm horrified that a parent would offer that advice for this situation.

    This is actually starting to happen in the UK. And in the USA, at least in my state, it doesn't even have to be the school. Just a random phone call with a false allegation can cause the cops and the Division of Family Services to come knocking. Catch a random family with kids on the wrong day, and the wrong impression can lead to major stress on families. It happens all the time.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    This is actually starting to happen in the UK. And in the USA, at least in my state, it doesn't even have to be the school. Just a random phone call with a false allegation can cause the cops and the Division of Family Services to come knocking. Catch a random family with kids on the wrong day, and the wrong impression can lead to major stress on families. It happens all the time.

    No, it doesn't have to be the school. This is a good thing. It's very stressful on the family. I agree. Calls should never be taken lightly, and people who make false allegations should be prosecuted. But a dirty dish having a child removed from the home is hyperbole. For one thing, the caller has to provide evidence indicating genuine abuse or neglect. A messy house wouldn't even warrant a visit. A filthy, unsafe home would. If social services show up and the house is spotless, guess what? Unsubstantiated and the case is closed. It's unfortunate some people choose to abuse this service to make people miserable. But that doesn't mean the service is flawed. People who abuse it are.

    We all want to pretend that every child is well-cared for, and it just isn't true. But just about every child welfare agency is geared toward family preservation, not removal. Parents get multiple chances in cases that you just wouldn't believe, so long as they follow the case plan, which often includes counseling and parenting classes.

    Also, social services does not make the custody call. The courts do.
  • nancycaregiver
    nancycaregiver Posts: 812 Member
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    When my neighbors child was young she was a little chubby but not even what I considered obese. The kids at school made remarks to her about her weight and she did not have a load of friends. When she was in 2nd grade, the did a unit on the food pyramid, healthy eating and exercise. She listened and started being more conscious of what she ate and started playing outside more. She started losing weight. Then all the kids at school started telling her she looked good. She started getting incited to parties and sleepovers. Then she became obsessed. She almost quit eating at all and she exercised all the time, even when she was watching tv she would stand behind the couch and side step or march in place. She would not even swallow her own saliva for fear she might gain weight. By the time she was 10, she was placed in a treatment facility for children with eating disorders. The school in this case had done a good job teaching the curriculum but the other children were so mean and this child became so obsessed. I just can't believe that it's the school torturing the children! Why would you put that on a child, especially one so young! My middle son was always taller and larger than the other kids his age. Now he is 19, about 205 pounds and at 6' 7" that is quite thin. He is in the Air Force and is under the max weight for his height by about 25-30 pounds. Kids outgrow chubbiness a lot of the time. And yours isn't even chubby.
  • ArtsyGeekette
    ArtsyGeekette Posts: 29 Member
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    She is a kid that looks very healthy. What the hell is wrong with people? Skinny does not equal healthy.

    Ignore them completely and if these vapid Sheeple have anything to say about it, cut them off with a quiet, low toned reply of "You are toxic and misinformed. Keep your stupidity to yourself. Good day to you." Works like a charm.

    I had someone at my workplace tell me I was going to die of a heart attack while on modified keto/low carb as of late. I had to shut them up but cutting them off with that exact phrase. I tried the informative route of science-backed articles and proven medical trials. Newp. They would rather keep repeating themselves and belittle me because "Oprah eats low fat-blah-blah-Dr.Oz-said-it!" type crap.

    Yeah, that's working for her alright. Pffft! My *kitten* and hers! :D
  • nogoldilocs
    nogoldilocs Posts: 87 Member
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    This notion that you can tell if someone is over or underweight just by looking at them is completely false. And more importantly, why do we care about obesity in children? It's not because of the way it makes them look, it's because of the impact that obesity at a young age can have on their future health. You can not tell whether someone has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, elevated insulin, high blood glucose, or a liver infiltrated by fat just by looking at them.

    So if nothing else is taken away from these thread, I hope that people understand that you can not judge health just by the looks of someone, there is some science involved here.
  • slrose
    slrose Posts: 164 Member
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    wait.....so the same schools that are CAUSING the obesity epidemic with their highly processed pizza/tater tot lunches and the elimination of healthy activities such as phy ed and recess have the nerve to nit pick that perfectly healthy little girls weight? dont they (quite literally) have bigger fishsticks to fry?
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    This notion that you can tell if someone is over or underweight just by looking at them is completely false. And more importantly, why do we care about obesity in children? It's not because of the way it makes them look, it's because of the impact that obesity at a young age can have on their future health. You can not tell whether someone has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, elevated insulin, high blood glucose, or a liver infiltrated by fat just by looking at them.

    So if nothing else is taken away from these thread, I hope that people understand that you can not judge health just by the looks of someone, there is some science involved here.

    If you can't tell if someone is obese from looking at them, then you need glasses. It has nothing to do with health markers such as blood pressure. It has to do with *visible* excess fat on the body.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    This notion that you can tell if someone is over or underweight just by looking at them is completely false. And more importantly, why do we care about obesity in children? It's not because of the way it makes them look, it's because of the impact that obesity at a young age can have on their future health. You can not tell whether someone has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, elevated insulin, high blood glucose, or a liver infiltrated by fat just by looking at them.

    So if nothing else is taken away from these thread, I hope that people understand that you can not judge health just by the looks of someone, there is some science involved here.

    If you can't tell if someone is obese from looking at them, then you need glasses. It has nothing to do with health markers such as blood pressure. It has to do with *visible* excess fat on the body.

    I think it sometimes can be difficult to tell if someone is a few pounds over a healthy BMI (which doesn't necessarily mean a person has an unhealthy body fat percentage) by looking. But if a person is actually obese WITH unhealthy body fat, then it is very easy to tell by looking. Totally agree.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    She is definitely not obese. She doesnt even look chubby. She just has a baby face.
  • Valtishia
    Valtishia Posts: 811 Member
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    I would be so friggin loud about this!! They may end up giving her a complex about her weight/body and she sure doesn't need that at such a young age.
  • clewis628
    clewis628 Posts: 94 Member
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    My daughter is similar in size and weight and her BMI was 20.2. The cardiologist that we saw in September listed her as slightly overweight. I didn't know if I should be worried or just let it go since she's only 3.5 years old. We did cut back on a few things and gotten outside to play a lot more but part of me couldn't help but wonder if it was just because she was growing?

    I have to be very careful myself about imposing any weight issues with my daughter because I myself have had them my whole life and struggle every day with the stigma of being morbidly obese and having people stare. I am making changes and they are slow but I know what i need to do. It's hard when children are involved though becuase you don't want them to grow up with body image issues, especially young girls. I just try to make sure that my daughter sees me making the effort to eat more healthy foods and sees me trying to get back up every time I stumble on this journey. It's not going to happen over night but if I can help her learn now, we'll be better off in the long run!

    I don't know. Either way- good luck!
  • nogoldilocs
    nogoldilocs Posts: 87 Member
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    **sighs** Two words: visceral fat

    And if people insist on disregarding why the issue of whether the child is obese or not obese is important, all I can say is "carry on". We should all just throw out our scales and tape measures and "eyeball it". My doctor says I'm obese but my neighbor and a bunch of strangers on a website said I look just fine...
  • Ohioguy1979
    Ohioguy1979 Posts: 1
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    I would seek out the medical opinion of a board certified pediatrician rather than poll users on a fitness site aimed at adults.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    **sighs** Two words: visceral fat

    And if people insist on disregarding why the issue of whether the child is obese or not obese is important, all I can say is "carry on". We should all just throw out our scales and tape measures and "eyeball it". My doctor says I'm obese but my neighbor and a bunch of strangers on a website said I look just fine...

    Based on the only photo of you I can see, you look like a bunch of words and a photograph of a road.
  • honeybee1036
    honeybee1036 Posts: 147 Member
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    I would seek out the medical opinion of a board certified pediatrician rather than poll users on a fitness site aimed at adults.

    This!

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