People who are married and have lost weight...

LadySylvanas

My husband used to say I wasn't fat at all - when I was actually just over 16 st (226 lbs)! Probably he just didn't want to upset me :embarassed:
Now, 48 lbs later, I can tell he's really excited about my progress. He can't stop telling me that I look stunning and he's very proud of me (although I still need to lose 35-40 lbs!) :ohwell:
Also noticed he's getting more and more active..sexually :blushing: :noway:

fatfrost

Lost 70 lbs. Now horny all the time. Wife wishes I would get fat again.

BBeccaJean

I gained 20 lbs immediately when my husband moved in with me 2.5 years ago and haven't been able to get all of it off. He has pretty habits and has gained tons of weight since getting out of the military, so he got insecure when I lost the 50 lbs I gained with our first son + 10 more. I think it just depends on your husband's priorities and how interested in fitness/healthy he is!
I'm preggo with baby #2, hoping not to gain so much weight during pregnancy and then be able to get to my goal weight!

Tonnina

Hubby doesn't mind the way I look, he is happy if I'm happy. He tells me he's proud of me. Called me skinny wife after the first 10lbs lost... continues to call me that now. He enjoys putting his hands all over my magic shrinking body. He doesn't like that I'm counting calories because he knows I can't go out to some places without researching the menu's calories... He doesn't want to know how many calories are in his favorite foods (Usually more than he thought) so I guess that would be the only thing that bugs him. He doesn't like when I get down about my weight, but he knows it's all part of the weight loss journey... A journey he will join me on soon I hope!!

AmyFett

we have a hard time, at least at first, because i was making changes to my diet, and he SHOULD have been too, but wasn't. he kept trying to get me to have the bad foods and eat more, go back for seconds. Now, after almost 6 months of MFP, he's starting to smarten up.

sleibo87

I have lost 40 so far and my marriage has gotten so much better! I am about 4 pounds from the weight I was on our first date. I know he loved me at any size but its nice to see him look at me the way he did years ago. I think the MAIN reason our relationship is better is because I am a happier person! He even said to me the other night how I had changed so much. I said 'in a good way' and he said 'you just seem so much happier and that makes me happy.' He was never rude when i was over weight but he seems so proud of me now and its nice to have him call me skinny mini and tell me how great I look. The hardest part probably was that he is in normal shape, and is man, and a foot taller then me, so he can eat a lot more and I don't do fast food often and its hard when he wants it. I just had to learn that this is my journey not his, I'm the one who gained so much weight, not him, and that I have to be the one to say no to myself and not give in just cause he wants it. But it did make me happy to hear him say today 'guess what December 1st is?" and I said ??? and he said ' the day I start working out too"!!! I was so happy, hopefully he does it. Not that we will workout together BUT that he can see how much hard work I put into it and how its not that easy. (even tho for men its easier and he only needs to maybe lose 10 pounds and tone up). I can see how for some people, if they are both over weight and one loses and gets healthy and the other one decides not too, im sure it can be an issue.

ksumme

I've been with my husband for 19 years (married for 16 1/2 of those).
I too have had a couple of 'tries' previously at weight loss.

Overall, it hasn't really changed our relationship in any way. We do have a VERY good relationship, though. He has always been supportive of me, and has never said a negative word - even at my highest. (Even though I have always been more 'obese' than him, he does still also have a weight problem. I am more apt to suggest/ push for him to get more exercise or eat better.)

The big struggles I've had with communication and losing weight, is he is the 'stay at home parent', and we have agreed that he is responsible for dinner. So, when I find we eat out too much, or the things he makes don't fit with what I need, I get frustrated.

He is now starting to push for himself to watch his caloric intake and burn, so it is definitely getting better!

(There was a period of time after I lost a significant amount that my sex drive increased exponentially. He very much enjoyed that period.)

At 85 lbs down, he still loves me very much - but I don't think any more than he did before. He is just happy that I am healthier. (As am I !!)

nuttyfamily

I lost 60 total and it didn't change our relationship at all. If anything, it made me a better wife in that I am more comfortable with myself and have much more energy and can do more physically now.

As for eating and the family, DH likes to cook and doesn't make calorie friendly meals when he does. He is okay with me eating a portion of something or altering something or eating a different meal than him all together.

nhradeuce

I was near my max weight when we met so my wife never got to see the athletic me. She and her family were honestly surprised when I water skied last summer, they thought I was just telling stories. She's very supportive and is very happy with her new active and thinner husband. She also says I'm much easier to be around because I am always happy.

waldenfam2

My highest weight, which wasn't logged on here, was 282 lbs, currently I'm 142 lbs. My husband and I got married when I was 16 and weighed around 160 lbs, so this is the smallest I've ever been since us being together! Honestly, he's all over me, all the time, lol. It's almost like we're teenagers again. So it's been good for us.

mpmama2re

I envy most of you. My husband liked it when I was bigger...and he tells it to me all the time.

VelociMama

I lost 40 lbs, and he knocked me up. I think it went quite well for me.



My husband loves me no matter my size though, and he's never found me unattractive even when I was quite obese. As to your question about whether I felt less like me, I had quite the opposite experience. I grew up very skinny and was thin for most of my life until the last 7 years or so. Being obese was not "me." I felt more and more like me the more I lost and the fitter I got.

gauchogirl

After about 8 months of seeing my success, my husband started taking better care of himself and he has since lost 40+ lbs. We both have about 40 left to go. We are both better people because we feel better, both physically and emotionally. We've gone hiking together and go walking all the time instead of sitting in front of the TV. I can't think of a single negative in our relationship because of the weight loss. And sex is way better

lrob100

My husband says I talk about my diet and exercise program waaaayyyy too much. So, I've stopped sharing. I work from home and he works outside the home, so he's never here when I work out. I make it a point to exercise when he's not here. Don't need an audience lol. He doesn't even know that I have been doing Insanity. He knows I lost 60 lbs. After that, I stopped giving him updates (I've now lost 78). I'll tell him when/if he asks. He is in great shape, and always has been. The last 13 yrs since we had kids I have gone up and down (mostly up). He's probably afraid I will yo-yo again.

LStuart101

I think every relationship is different. Hopefully you can be a good example if your spouse isn't ready right now. We all go through stages of being ready to actually do something about it, so be patient! Good luck!

LStuart101

I'm not having an easy time...

Hubby keeps saying I'm not fat and I don't need to lose weight, and that he doesn't like skinny girls. For me the weight loss isn't just a vanity thing - it's for my health - I'm diabetic and would like to lose weight to help control it.

And meal times have become a bit of a battle ground... I serve up healthy food, he eats junk for afters...

I'm just getting on with it and leaving him to do his own thing...

Keep it up! It's worth it and maybe he is just a little resentful right now because he's not on board with it. Everyone progresses at a different rate and maybe he's not ready yet. Just try to be patient and don't push him or he'll probably never want to jump on board. Maybe as he sees you getting healthier/more energetic he will realize what he's missing out on and will realize that your new found health will also benefit him....

zoukeira

I lost 50lbs over about 18 months, and then lost 260lb of husband BY TEXT MESSAGE in an instant. He blamed my weightloss.

ashlbubba

I've only lost about 20 lbs but my husband seems to be enjoying it.. he's much more touchy feely with my new curves and keeps joking about how badly I need to go clothes shopping for smaller sizes! I cannot wait to be in the 50+ loss club to update you

palmerig88

I used to complain all the time that I didn't feel good and that I was fat and didn't like the way I looked. My husband would point out that I ate like crap. The only time he ever said anything was when I would complain.

It was not hard to adjust to eating healthier simply because we will prepare meals for each other but we don't care if each other eats it. We enjoy a lot of similar foods, but not all.

I don't drink coffee creamer or soda anymore so he just puts it in the cart when he wants it. When we get a soda at the movies, he lets me pick what kind because we are sharing and he gets the kind he wants all the time.

He says now that I am "fit as a fiddle" and also "sexy as hell". But when he sees pictures of me from before he says "I would still $%^& the %$&# outta that".

He encourages me and shows me exercises. He is honest but never pushy.

He has actually put on quite a bit of weight this year, but I am not judgmental. Not trying to return the favor, just not really bothered personally. If he starts complaining, I will encourage him or try and help find something he can cut out.

I still log my food although I have not been losing weight on purpose since July. I don't know how to eat properly. That is how I got fat in the first place. I like to see where my nutrients come from, to see what I am getting out of my food.
I want to make sure I am eating enough, but not too much. I want to resist fatty, salty treats I crave if I have already indulged too much that day. I want to make healthier choices. It doesn't bother anyone and those close to me know I still log my food.

He has always lifted weights our whole marriage (almost 9 years). He also enjoys my favorite sport (softball). So we spend time together doing those activities and we both want to invest that time.

Overall, if things were good to begin with, I don't see how weight loss could harm your relationship or home life.

nancycaregiver

I do a low carb diet and my husband lives on carbs! Most of our meals consist of us having the same meat but different veggies and him having bread with every meal. I've lost 62 pounds and he loves it! He's always telling me how good I look. He is normal sized everywhere, arms, legs, face, but his belly is quite large. His 2X shirts are getting too tight. But he wears 36X32pants. He has finally decided that he needs to lose weight. He says he can't do what I do so he is trying to watch portion size, make healthier choices, and drink more water. He doesn't exercise with me but he said he'd like to. He works about 60 hours a week and is out of town a lot so it is hard for him. He does walk with me on the weekends when the weather is nice. We don't push each other but compliment and encourage instead. He is only just starting. I told him he had to be in the right mindset and he had to do it for himself. I believe he will do it! We've been married 30 years. I love him as much today as I did in 1982!! :smooched:

G__Force

I've only lost 25, and sometimes its been a little bit of a struggle. She has her own diet plan so she eats when she wants to, its hard to plan a meal as a family, She works nights so we only see each other a few minutes a day and when the week ends come along she does not get hunger until late in the day. We try to have at least one meal to gether on the weekend but its not always the healthiest. As for everything else she seems to like the fact that i'm loosing the gut but does not say much either way. I ask her a few weekago and she said she was ok with it. I think thing only thing i would be nive is if we could work out together she is not into exercise and has other she does not like to go for walks.
Sorry I hope it does not sound like i'm complaining because really i'm not.. She is a fantastic person we just cant seem to link up mostly because of her shift.

Helloitsdan

My wife thinks i'm getting in shape to leave her.
True story.

supplemama

My husband is very supportive! He has always been kind to me about my horrendous weight gain over the years, never saying a word about it. But once I decided to get all that fat off me he was so happy! He's very enthused about how much weight I've lost so far and is looking forward to seeing me in a bikini :blushing:

We've been together for a long time and he's very secure within himself and about our marriage, so he's not threatened by my getting in shape. He's glad I'm getting healthy. I think my obesity-related health scare back in January scared him as much as it did me.

BreannaJohnson1030

Well I het my husband when I was 16 so let's just say I was half my size I ran track did sports and always wanted to look good due to I was in high school. We go married when I was 19 and I was around 160 -170lbs than at 22 I got Pregnant with our awesome baby boy and went up to 240 before I gave birth. I never weighed myself during my 6 week recovery time after birth. At my 6 week check up I weighed 211lbs I felt like poo I felt huge and I know my husband appreciated all the work I did ( giving birth) but I wanted to look good when we went out and showed off our beautiful baby. My husband was very supporitive after I had our son he watch the baby while I went and ran we walked togeather everyday and even if I was tired he always offered to go walk at the mall or go to the store to walk and get excersize with out feeling like it was work since I was in Pain for a long time after birth. Now that I am doing MFP my husband does not bring home fast food he never gives it as a option when I ask where he wants to eat. I know loseing weight will bring us even closer than it already has. Now 23 with a beautiful 7 month old I know how much energy I will need to keep up with him and being a stay at home mom my husband knows it is a lot of work and energy and he respects that I want tobe a great mom to our son by being there for him to play with not sit on the couch with !!

Julicat6

I've been with my husband for over 16 years..dated from 21-28, then got married on a cold June day 9 years ago. 10th married anniversary this coming June. Yes, the minister made jokes about H-e- double chopsticks freezing over.:laugh: We all laughed, it was a very casual wedding and he knew our sense of humor was twisted. My husband has never made me feel bad about my size, but he definitely appreciates the weight loss. At 6 ft and 185, with Crohn's disease and Rheumatoid Arthritis, his nutritional and fitness needs are very different than mine, eating his way and being pretty sedentary, except for work, is what made me get to 250, although I was always a bit overweight even before, just not obese. Some meals we eat the same thing, glad he likes fish, or I make 2 versions of the same meal, adding extra veggies or less fat to mine. He always said I was Hot, but now its even more frequent. I love this man My Zumba class is at dinner time, so he's had to get used to eating alone and me warming up my plate when I get home, or helping me fix it when I do get home.

quietasariot

As far as eating habits - he either makes what I cook or he makes his own food. We have two daughters and I do the majority of the cooking so it's up to me unless he suggests something for dinner. I am not super "strict" on what I cook, so I guess that hasn't been a big deal. I have no problem eating spaghetti and meatballs or anything considered "bad". My only stipulation is that most of the time I much prefer to make things from scratch than out of a box . I like to eat fish - so I make sure I make that on nights when he has his classes since he doesn't like fish.

I worry more now about what he eats than I did before, because I want him to be healthy and NOT have health problems when he's older. He's gotten better, actually, about eating less canned stuff and eating more fresh veggies, sandwiches, etc.

I feel guilty almost, looking so much better than I EVER have in our relationship, because I get flirted with. A lot. And he knows it - I've told him - and he isn't insecure about it. I guess I'm more uncomfortable with it than he is (and my wedding rings are too big on me, so I suppose that doesn't help...).

As much as I love working out and would LOVE for him to be my workout buddy, I know he can't be - he hates working out and he has injuries in both of his shins from years of running in the military.

He definitely appreciates it (as another poster put it) - makes me feel like a million bucks!

zannyzanzanzibar

My husband has said he's more attracted to me now, although he always called me "sexy" etc. even at my biggest. I kinda knew he was just being nice though as all the celebs he finds attractive are skinny as anything.

It hasn't really affected our marriage other than giving me more confidence.

Stacyplus5

My husband doesnt give me compliments,never has but thats just how he was raised. But since I have been working out I haven't lost any weight but am toning up I feel more confident and physically stronger so long story short our sex life has gotten way better. Going from having sex maybe 2 times a month to just about every night that he's not at work. I'm not as *****y either.

toomuchbootyindapants

Let me preface this by saying my husband loves me very much, always has. He never once said an unkind word about my weight gain. I've lost 70 lbs and through strength training/heavy lifting, have completely transformed the shape of my body. Though the weight loss itself wasn't so hard at first...the emotional part of it has been the biggest struggle.

As I've lost the weight and started rediscovering who I am, inside, caring for myself again and putting myself first, I've come to expect MORE from my marriage than I had before. I had become too complacent and agreeable to everything the past decade...and lost a part of me, due to lack of self-esteem and confidence. As those things continue to grow within me, I have more courage to stand up and tell him what I need and want in my marriage. THIS has led to some difficulties. Furthermore, my libido is off the charts and his is not...more disconnect.

I wish I could say the weight loss has done incredible things for my marriage but the truth is, it has done incredible things for ME. I think I've become a bit more selfish than I was before...which some might say I NEEDED to be and others might say that I'm married, there's no room for selfishness. That's a tricky convo.

He sees my drive and determination and that sparks an interest in him to persevere and get healthier (he's not unhealthy but he'd like to eventually have a six-pack that he's never had in his lifetime). But he's not always on board in terms of regimen and he eats a LOT of sugar and other crap....and when I see this, sometimes I allow myself the justification for me as well. So we kind of cycle off each other in terms of our eating habits and tightening things up.

Anyway - all in all - I feel a million times better about myself...which means I actually enjoy going out again (so we now have date nights once a week) and I'm more agreeable to trying new things that I never would've even considered before when I was 220 lbs (i.e. rock climbing!). This isn't a "new" me....this is the same me that he fell in love with 14+ years ago...finally re-emerging. Overall, I think he's quite pleased...but now I want something more. Something I can't quite put my finger on...but we're working on it, and that's all that matters.

ebailey710

My husband is very supportive of my weight loss/fitness goals. He works out with me when he can, and respects my wishes to eat healthier and supports that grocery bill. He has always been on the slimmer side, and I have always been big, but he tells me I am beautiful and I get in trouble for saying things like "look how fat my belly is". He bought us bikes to ride, and up until our honeymoon, I hadn't ridden a bike in 3 years due to being hit by a car.

He really does push me to be the best I can be, and is there to catch me when I fall off the wagon, so to speak.