Losing Weight and Sexual Harassment:

dad106 · February 2013

Honestly, by doing that, you make yourself more of a target. You look scared, easy and weak.

Show that you are not afraid, and people won't bother you.

My mom yells at me all the time when we go to Chicago because I choose to carry my Coach wristlet, and wear nice things. Difference is, I don't act scared of people. If someone walks up to me acting shady, I ignore them or tell them to back off.. and they do.

trophywife24 · February 2013

I feel like I have a lot to say here but haven't had enough coffee to say it well.
The notion that women need to dress a certain way to not draw attention from men (even if they are the annoying, yo yo mama types) makes me sick.. like actually sick. I cannot imagine living in fear.... fear of men or otherwise. I am a cautious person, especially because I have two young children and would never put myself into a position to compromise being around to raise them. However, I cannot.. cannot.. cannot get behind the 'ever man is a prowler, everyone is out to get you' mentality that so many women carry with them. Over what? Over some loud mouth, immature guy trying to get your attention? Am I going to go walking around half naked in a rougher part of town? No! Am I going to wear my regular jeans to CVS? Yes. My goodness.

Doodlewhopper · February 2013

You are misinformed.

Tabulating worldwide assaults, UK, Australia & Canada each accounts for more than twice as many assaults then the US.

The UK happens to be #2 accounting for 2.8% (and if you note the UK is only .02% from being #1)

The US is #9 & accounts for only 1.2% of assaults. I also draw your attention to the fact that very strict gun controlled Australia is #3, accounting for 2.4% of assaults...and Canada accounts for 2.3% & is ranked #4.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_*kitten*_vic-crime-assault-victims

Remember 2 things: #1 When seconds count, a policeman is only 5 minutes away. #2 Guns nurture a polite society.

MaraDiaz · February 2013

That's what I get for posting before coffee, I have to come back and be all logical.

No, every woman who wants to dress nicely instead of hiding her body under fat or a sweatshirt should not be given a concealed carry permit.

First of all, in most situations she won't need it. Those guys were awful, they were scary, and they shouldn't have followed you after you made it clear you didn't want their attention. But in all likelihood they weren't actually dangerous. They were just jerks. So it's not like you could turn around and shoot them and call it a day.

Second, a real attacker will get the drop on most people even if they are armed because a real attacker isn't usually going to give any warning of his intentions. So without extensive training it isn't even practical to arm everyone. And I'm not talking a three day gun safety course, either.

Pepper spray I can't see as ever being a bad idea, though. Years of martial arts training might help. I'd take jujitsu or similar if I could afford to.

But I have to say the thought of having to wear a sweatshirt and pretend to be fat now that I'm not anymore just to be 'safe'. Well no thanks, I'll take my chances. It's not that I don't think men are evil, either. Men are evil. So are women. Our species is nasty and violent and by any moral definition evil. I hate and fear humanity, with good reason. But I'll be damned if I'll hide in the house or under lard or yards of fabric in an attempt to be invisible.

deksgrl · February 2013

Carrying a gun is always the answer. See, criminals don't know who has one and who doesn't, so they are a lot less likely to just try some crap. They know there is always a chance they picked the wrong person to mess with. Why wouldn't you take advantage of any deterrent that you can? It's like saying, "you should never take your husband with you to the bad side of town as a deterrent for those looking for an easy mark."

NutellaAddict · February 2013

I hate it when it happens to me.

trophywife24 · February 2013

I'm not a rapist, nor do I play one on TV..... but I'm just going to guess that if some dude wants to pounce on you, he's not going to follow you across a parking lot hollering at you, making you look at him, gaining all sorts of attention, etc. Those types of guys are annoying and disgusting, but I'm pretty sure that being a prowler is a little more uh... quiet.

nataliefamily3 · February 2013

Sadly I get so much unwanted attention now I have been hollered at, followed, etc. usually I just ignore it. If they are behind me I pretend I cant hear them. I feel more confident after starting martial arts and lifting, I know I can hold my own.

twelfty · February 2013

no we just prefer our people to settle their differences with fists and assult rather than killing each other lol

which is why america has the gun killings of all those countries combined (and i think more)

twelfty · February 2013

yes they're immature/man-boys people who haven't been raised right or at all hence why a prison is like a grown up version of school lol

Doodlewhopper · February 2013

Why should law abiding women be denied the right to carry a sidearm?

stacezilla · February 2013

Seriously? And how many more murders/acts of gun violence occur in those places?

Oh wait.

Doodlewhopper · February 2013

Sorry friend but you will have to come up with facts to support your rhetoric...facts which you wont find btw. Check out sexual assaults, bullying, harassing the elderly....yep, the UK is a more uncivilized & dangerous place then the US.

Doodlewhopper · February 2013

The gun controlled countries are more dangerous.

thegeordielass · February 2013

And yet living in the UK I don't feel paranoid enough to *have* to carry a weapon on me at all times and assume that everyone I run into will be doing the same. I'm almost willing to bet that most (not all) knife/gun crime is carried out between the various criminal elements. As a person who doesn't get mixed up in that and doesn't go wandering around dodgy areas the chances of me coming into contact with it are very slim. I'm far more likely to be run over.

And as for the original topic, 50lbs down nobody looks at me any different so no issues here!

stacezilla · February 2013

Prove it? Have you been living under a rock?

I'd rather get mugged and pushed on the floor than have my brains blown out, but maybe that's just me.

mckramer1999 · February 2013

I am compelled to say something that no one has mentioned yet.

SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please, please in the future say something immediately to the person who is bothering you. You don't have to be confrontational or shrill or make a big scene. Just say firmly and calmly, "Don't ever do that again. I don't like it." Or say, "Please leave me alone, you are making me uncomfortable."

Sometimes people are just insensitive and stupid--that doesn't make them predators.

(Please note that I am not suggesting that this applies to a gang of men making crude comments and following you after dark)

julesxo · February 2013

A guy grab my *kitten* so I punched him in the face. Problem solved.

twelfty · February 2013

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_firearm-related_death_rate

the countries above the us being uncivilised countries or in serious wars or poverty or drug fueled wars etc

you'll notice the uk 10th from the bottom and austrailia not far from that

they are the facts, and as someone else mentioned i'd rather be beaten to a pulp by 10 hoodies than my children shot up in a school by a psychopath... tell me where that factors into your guns for polite society?

MaraDiaz · February 2013

I'm not against concealed carry laws but I think far more extensive training should be required, with a lot of emphasis on situational awareness. I'm perfectly fine with funding the course on a federal or state payment plan of some sort for those who want to carry concealed and can't afford the course out of pocket.

And I gave the reason the current training requirements are insufficient: The attacker has so much advantage over your typical victim that a weapon in the hands of the victim makes no difference because by the time she is being attacked (or he) and realizes she needs the weapon to be in her hand, it's too late.

Worse, you might get someone in a hyper-vigilant state and ready to shoot at anyone who walks past too close and looks at her funny.

Doodlewhopper · February 2013

Lame & irrelevant to what I presented.

twelfty · February 2013

no.... you said you required "facts i wouldn't find" and it's highly relavant, lame? what so it has to be 'cool'? god gun nuts are all the same... you sound as dumb as that texan trying to turn a debate with piers morgan into a rodeo.....

Mhaney · February 2013

As a teen I worked at a gas station. I got off one night and these hooligans followed me home and when they turned in my driveway they came face to face with a 45. Problem solved.

twelfty · February 2013

here's a fact out of that for you... you're nearly 120 times more likely to be shot in america than in england

Freidon · February 2013

Wow. I made that post over two months ago, and no one had ever responded.

I get your and the other posters' points. There is no excuse for sexual harassment, no matter what gender it occurs to. What I do know, however, is that the few times I've been singled out in shady areas, it was when I was wearing nicer clothing or clothing that showed off my figure. In that particular incident, my butt.

I don't fear men. I'm fortunate enough to have a lot of good guys in my life, so I don't have the mentality that every man is a prowler, by any means. But those guys were. And I've been around bullies long enough to know how they work. You don't show fear, don't give them anything to feed off of. The only reason I dragged my friend across the street in such a hurry was to A) cross before the light changed and

because I had seen a campus police car around the block, and wanted to head back in that general direction. It worked. They saw him and suddenly weren't interested in us anymore.

Actually, guns aren't viewed as being acceptable. Due to the high crime rate in the city, weapons are viewed as being something only thugs and police officers carry. A bit different from the rural hunting, self-defense mindset I grew up with. I'm not old enough for a concealed weapons permit, and as guns, tasers, mace, and pocket knives are all illegal on campus. I do carry the latter two as a precaution. Considering students have been robbed at gunpoint around that area, I'm not taking chances.

The incident startled me, though. I've never been attractive, so I've never had to deal with sexual harassment until recently. I also grew up in a pretty nice town. Just curious as to how others have handled it.

twelfty · February 2013

and as a last fact off of your own source

england murders commited by youths - 139

america - 8226

OH! and an overall 82% more crime than the UK

by these facts i'll point out i don't dislike america, i think it's a good country but needs to learn alot about what it perceives to be safe.

and in the meantime ladies of your new found sexiness by all means be proud of your bodies, but be sensible about it, rather than regret it

men aren't all sexual predators but the likelihood is the ones that are will be out at night in bad neighbourhoods so use your common sense, don't be affraid, be clued up, be streetwise

Greenrun99 · February 2013

go buy pepper spray, its cheap and legal in most countries.. If you can't carry anything else, don't. I am not surprised all the conceal and carry people showed up in here claiming the states is low on assaults (but forgot to mention we are near top in gun violence, not to mention the recent rash of mass killings).. You should not carry a gun if you are afraid(or untrained like most people with a conceal carry permit).. Thats all we need is more people killing people for looking at them "strange". Ya we may be low in assaults, but I would rather get in a fist fight for my shoes, then shooting someone cause I "thought" they were going to rob me and end up in jail for 20 years.

There are a**holes in the world, don't be afraid of people and don't change, just be mindful of your situation and act appropriately.

SweetTeaAndCutoffs · February 2013

SweetTeaAndCutoffs · February 2013

Oops...meant to reply above, that is RIDICULOUS. What a freakin dog!

trophywife24 · February 2013

OP I don't think you live in fear of men. I think the people who are telling you to carry a weapon, do.
I think you will get used to being hollered at and eventually know how to handle it... with one vertical finger, really.

Losing Weight and Sexual Harassment:

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