So is anyone willing to give relationship advice?
skinnyitaliannn
Posts: 187
in Chit-Chat
Okay well .. me and my boyfriend have been together a year now. I'm 18 and he just turned 20 in November. I feel as if I do a lot for him, pretty much anything he wants, but he just stopped putting in any effort at all. I mean I really don't ask for much. I bike to and from his house daily, he never comes over mine and I don't bother asking because everytime I have he says he's too lazy.. he smokes pot every 20 minutes of the day. I'm not sure if pot is a truly addictive drug but he definitely can't stop it. It's to the point that he can't be sober for more then 10 minutes.. not over-exaggerating. It's difficult for me to want to be with him because even though he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke. It's made me so upset that sometimes I can't help but cry, and when he notices, he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke" .. he's constantly telling me how much he needs me and how he loves me more than anything, but his actions are showing almost the complete opposite. he keeps on calling me crazy for trying to tell him what's wrong but whenever I try to talk, he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish. I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point and I'm not sure if I should end it or just wait it out to see if he if just going through an *kitten*, video games 24/7, lazy phase. I'm just so confused and really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.
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Replies
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Thats a lot of reading.
Tampa crew
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You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.0
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Thats a lot of reading.
Tampa crew
You have no idea, trust me -__-0 -
You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.
You're right. It's just so difficult, especially feeling like I've gotten so comfortable with him.0 -
^You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.0 -
I'd run from that ASAP...
Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?0 -
The relationship is going nowhere.0
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I'd run from that ASAP...
Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?
he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao0 -
Sounds like a waste of time. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure you are in one that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.0
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Sounds like a waste of time. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure you are in one that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.
makes lots of sense! thank you!0 -
Telling you not to leave him because he's depressed is emotional blackmail. My ex threatened to kill himself if I left. Guess what? I did and he didn't!
Calling you stupid and retarded is verbally abusive.
Putting in no effort and making you always come to him means he's probably with you because it's easy and convenient for him. If he really loved you he wouldn't treat you that way.
Don't waste your time. Respect yourself and dump this guy. He needs to grow up.0 -
Sounds like a typical d-bag stoner.. leave his *kitten* and get yourself someone that will put in time in a relationship.. Things you should look for.. Not a druggie, Has a job, has a car, is nice. of course your 18, you won't learn until your 280
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Three words: Just break up...0
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Sounds like a waste of time. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure you are in one that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.
makes lots of sense! thank you!
Good point well made. Also, you're 18. It's going to hurt to leave any relationship. But it's ok. If you're that upset then leave. Easier said than done, I know. Respect *yourself* and you'll find a man who respects you.0 -
yep hate the d-bag stoners. -__-0
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um... he sounds like a total tool. You're wasting your time with somebody that shows zero effort in making you happy and invalidates your feelings by calling you names. Not to mention that he seems like a waste of space. I play video games and have any number of "hobbies", but at the end of the day you have to be able to handle business... he's just taking up oxygen. RUN and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Comfortable is not enough; that's only for shoes and couches.
I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but his in-action speaks volumes.0 -
Paragraphs..please !!! This is killing my pretty eyes.0
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I'd run from that ASAP...
Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?
he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao
Being depressed doesn't mean you're allowed to treat someone you supposedly care about the way he's treating you. It's a lame excuse for him being immature, selfish, and abusive.
I still don't understand why you would stay in the relationship. What do you get from the relationship that makes it hard for you to cut it off?0 -
I was in a relationship for 5 1/2 years before the one I'm in now. We started dating when we were 16, moved in together at 19, and lived together for like 2 1/2 years. He treated me pretty bad before we ever moved in together, but I thought maybe that would help things. It was okay for a while, and then he started doing the exact same thing as your boyfriend is doing to you now...stomping all over me, taking advantage of me, etc. It was such a horrible feeling, and he really brought me down. I was so depressed, but we were comfortable, and this was going to be the man I was going to marry, and then it would get better.
Fast forward to May 7 of this year, and after literally not giving a crap whether I was even in the same apartment as him for MONTHS, he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I left that day and that was it. A month later, he realized his mistake and wanted me back. I said no...I was the HAPPIEST I HAD EVER BEEN. I realized very very quickly how much his behavior brought me down and affected me, and I moved on. The comfort was not worth it at all.
Now, I'm with the man I KNOW is meant for me to marry. He's my best friend, and it took 5 1/2 years of crap and then me finding myself and my own happiness in order to find the one TRULY for me.
Moral of the story is, I encourage you to leave him. I would never have taken anybody's advice had they told me that when I was in your shoes, but after living it, you need to be done with him. You can do SO much better...believe me.0 -
um... he sounds like a total tool. You're wasting your time with somebody that shows zero effort in making you happy and invalidates your feelings by calling you names. Not to mention that he seems like a waste of space. I play video games and have any number of "hobbies", but at the end of the day you have to be able to handle business... he's just taking up oxygen. RUN and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Comfortable is not enough; that's only for shoes and couches.
I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but his in-action speaks volumes.
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^
There are many better men out there that would love to have a woman that is devoted and caring and they will do the same for you. This guy sounds like ti is all about him and if he loves to get stoned all the time and play video games then let him do that...alone. Find yourself someone that wants to be with you and spend their time with you. If you are at the point of crying over it and it bothers you...you need to face it and make the changes. You are young and have sooooo much life yet to live and experience. Don't let someone drag it away from you and you get caught in their BS. He does not respect and love you. He is just using you...sorry, that is harsh but it is the truth. Get out, pick yourself up and move on. You will be so much better off without him....you will see.0 -
That's a tough age for guys. Don't expect him to change.0
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No one should talk to you like that...ever. This relationship is going nowhere. Cut it off now.0
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I'd run from that ASAP...
Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?
he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao
^Total BS.... emotional blackmail. 1) he chooses pot over you. strike 2) verbally and emotionally abuses you strike 2 ... 3) lazy bum strike 3...... I believe thats game over.
I dated a guy once in teen years his early 20s smoked pot all the time, partied, played videos games..... went to jail we broke up.... 10-15 years later ran into him... tried it again (he now in his 30s) he smokes pot constantly, plays video games, and like nothing ever changed. If a man has no better priorities don't waste ya time. and dont be a door mat. everyone deserves better.0 -
... or just wait it out to see if he if just going through an *kitten*, video games 24/7, lazy phase. I'm just so confused and really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.
Nah, don't wait it out, even tho it's probably just a phase. I know many guys who are in that phase. Yep, it started in their teens and it's still going strong, with them being in their early 30s now. Just a phase.
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Im sorry to tell you this hun but you should leave him. You are worth more than that. You will find a reall man that won't be high every minute of the day and will be at work instead of playing games all day. You are really young and there are lots of fish in the sea. You are not married so you can walk out of this relationship whenever you want. Put yourself first.0
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I'm 18
he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke
he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke"
he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish
I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point
I highlighted the main points of your post. Decision made my dear.0 -
Three words: Just break up...
I knew someone would say it!
Seriously though OP-leave him. He's not worth it. Think of it this way, if you had a friend explain this same exact situation to you (them of course being in your shoes) what would you tell them? You'd say he's a piece of crap, get out now! You probably don't want to hear it but you're young-you'll definitely find someone else that will pay attention to you and will drive to your house AND even pick you up so you don't have to bike to his house all the time0 -
Dump his *kitten*. :flowerforyou:0
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You're too young to 'wait around to see if he'll change"...........he won't
Just break up.
find someone worth your time.
Think about it this way. Do you want to marry and have children with a stoner? I'm assuming not.
Find someone you want a real future with.0 -
He's verbally abusive to you on top of being an addict. Run away as fast as you can and don't look back. You will find someone who will treat you better, I promise.0
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