So is anyone willing to give relationship advice?

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  • flabbyjay
    flabbyjay Posts: 95 Member
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    4 things:

    1) FCP1234 really does have beautiful eyes!

    2) We can't say that you deserve better because we don't know you, you may deserve worse

    3) You look younger than your pic so act like it! Don't get caught up in BS, go away to school and have fun

    4) Italians are loyal but save that sh1t for your husband not that kid in your pic
  • neelia
    neelia Posts: 750 Member
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    Leave him and find someone better.
  • Artemis726
    Artemis726 Posts: 587 Member
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    I was in a relationship much like this. He loved his weed far more than he loved me, and when he was high he did stupid things. He made promises, but he really just got better at lying and hiding things from me. I begged him to not smoke one night when I was upset. I woke up to find him higher than a kite and wondering why I was mad. He cheated on me at least twice. Yep- I took him back the first time. I didn't the second, but the entire relationship messed me up for a long time.

    He came back around a couple years later and I met him out to see 'what if'. I thought he was different, but then he asked to stop at a friends house and guess what they did while I was left alone? Yep. He wanted to get back together, I said no. 5 years after that he put his business card in my old mailbox, hoping I'd call. I was happily married by then, I found out through his obituary a few years ago that HE was also married when he did that, with kids. His drug abuse helped him to an early grave, and despite everything I still grieved for him.

    Trust me- Guys like this will only bring more heartache and pain. Seriously- get out now and do NOT take him back. You're worth more than that crap.
  • Masqueraded
    Masqueraded Posts: 91
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    Hey man you say some dumb **** when you're high.

    Just give him a choice, a hot, underage teen girl or pot and plenty of tube porn (dont tell him the tube porn part because that might sell it). You can always change him, and he could always change. But losing you may do that..

    Even though I have choked a few chicks in my time (thats another story ;) its never right to feel abused. You can definitely become addicted to it without even realizing it. Sucks

    wow.

    just wow.

    Right?! I wish that guy wouldn't have quoted my point with his lameness
  • Erica262
    Erica262 Posts: 226 Member
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    You're hot and young... Just break up!

    Stay single until like 25 plus. Trust me that's what I would have done given the chance to go back and change something.

    Ditto to all of this too. And to pretty much everything everyone else has said. After Loser#1 who sounds remarkably similar to your loser boyfriend, I only stayed single for a few months and dated a couple guys before Loser#2. He was a little less losery, but I almost married him because I was 23/24 and only slightly less stupid than I was at 18/19. Luckily I broke up with him and spent a glorious 2 1/2 years single and letting guys take me on dates, buy me things and treat me like a princess. Then I found the best guy who treats me well and who I have a great relationship with. I'm 28 now and finally ready to be with one person for a long long time.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
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    Just Break Up....



    best advice ever.
  • georgie304
    georgie304 Posts: 143
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    Easier said than done... But you need to stop this relationship... And I think you already know that. Let his family know that he says he is depressed, but you need to take care of yourself. He is not your husband, you have no responisblity... If you stay...do you really want this person as your husband?... then it becomes your problem.

    Stop the relationship.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    You should have just titled this "Dani, what should I do?"

    Just break up.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    You should have just titled this "Dani, what should I do?"

    Just break up.

    :flowerforyou:
  • jenkinsjerry
    jenkinsjerry Posts: 99 Member
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    Wow! Love that you're open to relationship advice... This same quality is what saved my marriage when most crumble and disolve. Don't ever lose this strategy!

    My advice is more for your next relationship, as this one should be over. The important thing is learning from this experience so that it doesn't happen again.

    #1. Make sure that with your next relationship that you avoid at all costs, "Shacking up" or 'sleeping' with whomever the guy is. Relationships start their turn for the worst once this happens (e.g. while dating and not married). Yeah this sounds old fashioned and stupid, but mark my words, I can prove with a high degree of accuracy that all relationships where sex comes before marriage, that all relational intimacy stops, and in the case of men, they check out. Stop the Sex and guess what happens? The man you met and couldn't stop talking to, comes back to life and begins treating you like you should be treated. Then as you begin to get the frequent calls, voicemails, texts and flowers, your interest in loving and respecting him, goes back to where he wants it and the bliss begins/resumes.

    #2. Do what you can to change your, "Self-talk" about yourself. If you're using MFP, you obviously care about yourself and are trying to improve your health/weight/outlook on life and have the personal discipline to do so. This is a rare and beautiful quality that can be shared with someone who values the same things and is going in the same direction. Anyone who is prone to self medication with alcohol, drugs, or couch potatoing, will not get you, respect you or support you. So as you look in the mirror and or have those conversations with yourself, remind you of how awesome you are, how great you're looking and how bright your future is going to be as you continue your weight loss, exercise gains, control over eating, etc.

    #3. Raise the bar on your next relationship -- set higher standards for who you date next, or better yet, stop dating for a while and seek out group settings where you can get to know someone outside of a dating scenario. In the old days this was called Courting, where guys/gals got to know eachother in groups, vs. one on one. One on one leads to the disaster of my point #1. Stick in groups and you'll have a fighting chance to find a new person worth investing in. You won't find this person in a bar or at a club either. Join a running club, seek out a healthy and relevant church to go to, and or enrol in a city college, etc. where you can meet up with people who are going somewhere. The minute you sense pot/alcohol/other additictions to medication, move on, and move on quickly. Group settings enable quick exits. One on one dating makes it much tougher.

    Great luck to you! You're wise beyond your years for seeking advice too.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    You should have just titled this "Dani, what should I do?"

    Just break up.

    Can't believe it took you 4 pages to get in here with that.
    You're slacking.
  • RobfromLakewood
    RobfromLakewood Posts: 684
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    Wait for him to be different than who he is now? How long seems like a good amount of time?

    In truth, people are who they are and if you can't accept them that way, then there is little chance for success. This problem is about you, why would you want to be with someone you really seem to think rather poorly of?

    My advice, decide what you want from a partner, go for that. If you can't see a future after you have had 6 months together, chances are you will not have a future together.
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
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    I don't think I have that right...... there's a reason i'm almost 29 and still single. :ohwell:
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    This is simple. You're too young and beautiful to be with a video gaming pot-head. Dump the loser and find someone who deserves you.
  • ToniChansNewLook
    ToniChansNewLook Posts: 52 Member
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    Okay well .. me and my boyfriend have been together a year now. I'm 18 and he just turned 20 in November. I feel as if I do a lot for him, pretty much anything he wants, but he just stopped putting in any effort at all. I mean I really don't ask for much. I bike to and from his house daily, he never comes over mine and I don't bother asking because everytime I have he says he's too lazy.. he smokes pot every 20 minutes of the day.

    I stopped reading when I read "he smokes pot"

    Dump his sorry carcass. He obviously has issues you don't want to be involved in.

    As for everything before that, it sounds alot like one of my exes. He obviously lost interest and doesn't care about you enough to put in any effort to even better himself much less make you happy.

    Seeing as you're a member on a fitness program, you have intentions on making yourself a better person.:) Stick to your goals and don't let lazy potheads like that jerk hold you down. You deserve better.

    You're young, you've still got your whole life ahead of you. Focus on yourself. It may hurt now, but in the end, it will all work out, and you'll feel so much greater! ^^
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
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    I don't think I have that right...... there's a reason i'm almost 29 and still single. :ohwell:
    Better to be single (and quite cute, if I may add) than to be stuck to a loser, and not have the cojones to drop him.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    This is 4 pages, I didn't read one word of it.
    Just break up.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    "WT" would tell you propose NOW!
  • rompers16
    rompers16 Posts: 5,404 Member
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    I'd run from that ASAP...

    Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?

    he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao

    I have a friend who is married to a guy like this, only he drinks all the time. They've been married about 20 years and she still thinks he can change. Kick him to the curb.
  • zohyeahz
    zohyeahz Posts: 4
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    If you're not ready to break up, why don't you just stop biking to his house. Tell him you're too lazy and find out how important he thinks you are. Don't waver. Just DON'T go there.

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