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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I would have to actually have heard the entire conversation to give an opinion. Snipping one comment completely out of context doesn't help me at all.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    Unless you are sure he just isn't clueless about how fast/slow weight comes off, I'd probably just chalk it up to him being a bit clueless.

    If it were me in your shoes, a reply of something like:

    "Ha Ha. The only way I'm down to 150 in the next month is if I lose a leg or something. Hey, I've lost 20 pounds already, and it takes several months to drop another 30 pounds, so ask me again in a year, ok?"


    ^THIS

    Ignorance is bliss, and EVERYONE is ignorant. He may have meant well, or he may have been joking. If you've been dating for a long time, you would know whether or not he meant well. You're just over reacting because you can't read his body language.
  • gseburn
    gseburn Posts: 456 Member
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    You could also talk to him about it and not risk bringing it up to a forum of strangers who don't know you or him and will say ridiculous things like "dump him" :smile:
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    If you love him and he's a good guy, then he probably didn't mean it offensively. He might just have been curious as to whether you'd meet your goal by then.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    You could also talk to him about it and not risk bringing it up to a forum of strangers who don't know you or him and will say ridiculous things like "dump him" :smile:

    But our outside advice based on a small paragraph and one side of the argument is the best advice to follow!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Talk to him. Tell him you didn't like the way he phrased that comment or whatever... There's no where near enough info here to justify dumping him b/c he asked what weight you will be in a month but dated you regardless of your size to begin with.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Is he generally a douche? Could it possibly just be the stress of being away for a long period of time and you overreacting to a comment where you couldn't even see his face? I wouldn't bring it up again or worry about it, even after he is home.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    o.0 I don't get why everyone is so upset with him? He asked a question..... unless there's something snotty in the way he said it or if there was MORE he said.

    I would have just pointed out that a 30 lb loss in a month isn't likely to happen and if it did it wouldn't be healthy.

    He doesn't sound mean, just dumb.
  • JessicaEsqueda
    JessicaEsqueda Posts: 25
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    I think he was trying to give you a compliment, or even be cute, but it came out insensitive. I'd shrug it off and go about my business. Keep losing weight and doing what you're doing. I bet he's just excited to see a new, sexier you.

    I doubt he was trying to be hurtful. Sometimes, people just say stupid things.
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
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    "he asked if I am going to get down to 150lbs by the time he gets back"

    I'm a little confused here...this is what he asked you and you are upset about this comment....Or you have not provided enough information for me to understand why he asked this question.

    Did you bother to ask him why he asked this? What if his plans are to buy you something that would require a different sized based on your weight?

    There is not enough information from you to help us determine why he might have said this.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    did you give him a time-frame for how quickly you expected to lose the weight, i.e. did you say by such and such date, I should or would like to be down to "X" weight?
  • hollyk57
    hollyk57 Posts: 520 Member
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    Ok... *Lose* not *loose* K, that was driving me crazy....

    Now... Seriously? If he's as much of a douche-o-saurus as you have described him to be, and that's merely an assumption because we really don't know the whole story here, then why the heck would you want to stick around with him? This is seriously where your own sense of self-worth needs to step in and kick his bum to the non-chubby-chasing curb. Why would you put up with that and live in fear that you'll fail to meet someone else's expectations of you? Wait for it... truth tea being spilled here - if he doesn't love/respect/appreciate you as who you are when you're not at your (or maybe his idea of what is your) ideal weight - then he doesn't deserve you when you reach your goals either - and he's not really in it for you. Find someone who loves and supports you, no matter your weight, or you'll never really be happy.

    Also, as a side note - In general, if you're at the point where you need to air out the laundry on a public internet site, then you probably already know it's not working out, no?

    <end rant>
  • Amplifiedx11
    Amplifiedx11 Posts: 15 Member
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    Coming from a guy, but I think it's applicable for all of us...

    When I'm heavy, my self esteem goes right down the toilet. Anything anybody says about my weight sets me off, and I take everything as a direct, personal attack, even if it's not what they intended.

    When I'm lighter, I'm much more confident and can roll comments like that off (if they are purposefully hurtful) or just accept them for what they are (if they were just a random, innocent remark).

    I know it's easier said then done, but let those kind of things roll off your shoulder. There's no point in letting stuff like that get to you, whether it wall ill-intended or not. Not only will you stew on it and feel angry/hurt, but it could negatively affect your progress. You're doing AMAZING! Don't let anything stop you - be it him or even yourself.

    KEEP ROCKING!
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Sooooooo.....you want him to support you in your journey to lose weight, not actually CARE if you lose the weight or not, AND not question or comment on your changes? You may just be asking too much of him.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    He might not understand a lot about weight loss and how long it takes. I doubt he was trying to be a d*ck.
  • FauxNinja
    FauxNinja Posts: 77
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    Hey. Get down to the 150's and it won't be an issue.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    just break up \m/
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Ok... *Lose* not *loose* K, that was driving me crazy....

    Now... Seriously? If he's as much of a douche-o-saurus as you have described him to be, and that's merely an assumption because we really don't know the whole story here, then why the heck would you want to stick around with him? This is seriously where your own sense of self-worth needs to step in and kick his bum to the non-chubby-chasing curb. Why would you put up with that and live in fear that you'll fail to meet someone else's expectations of you? Wait for it... truth tea being spilled here - if he doesn't love/respect/appreciate you as who you are when you're not at your (or maybe his idea of what is your) ideal weight - then he doesn't deserve you when you reach your goals either - and he's not really in it for you. Find someone who loves and supports you, no matter your weight, or you'll never really be happy.

    Also, as a side note - In general, if you're at the point where you need to air out the laundry on a public internet site, then you probably already know it's not working out, no?

    <end rant>

    I like you :wink:
  • gseburn
    gseburn Posts: 456 Member
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    You could also talk to him about it and not risk bringing it up to a forum of strangers who don't know you or him and will say ridiculous things like "dump him" :smile:

    But our outside advice based on a small paragraph and one side of the argument is the best advice to follow!

    LIKE :-)
  • amberlykay1014
    amberlykay1014 Posts: 608 Member
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    Only you know him well enough to know his intentions for sure, but my first instinct is that he is just trying to motivate you. Keep going girl!

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