Male and Female Opinions

toriaenator

you know, sometimes people say things in a very impolite way but im positive he didnt mean for it to sound bad, i think he was just curious or trying to make conversation! if it really continues to bother you i would take about it again, and mention how upset it made you feel... but has he said comments like this before? if this is just a one time thing and otherwise he treats you well, i wouldnt make too much of a big deal but if this reoccuring then you may need to question whether his presence in your life is benefitting you.

rml_16

An awful lot of people in here are jumping to a lot of conclusions based on incredibly little information.

ashleyoh33

And wow, really? She should dump him? Thats unreasonable. If you dump everyone that occasionally doesnt put together sentences in a way you deem appropriate you are going to end up alone and bitter.

This. Also, you said you talked to him about it? If he explained he was trying to get a different point across and it was a miscommunication, try to let it go.

kennethmgreen

Based on your OP, there are people who are recommending you dump your boyfriend over this. Consider how you paint a picture with your words. Granted, recommending you end a relationship based only on your interpretation of one comment seems a bit severe (if not altogether crazy). But it's still worth noting that your post generated some pretty severe reactions in a few people.

What are you trying to do, exactly? I know you asked for opinions and not questions. But what are people supposed to base their opinion on? A single piece of a phone conversation? Are you posting about this so that you can garner support in ending the relationship? Your follow-up posts indicate that's not what you are looking for. Did you want support from others here? Are you trying to get a specific kind of support? Have you articulated that with your boyfriend?

More important than what you are trying to do, what do you want? That is the single most important question of your life. Seriously. Answer that one and you won't be making posts like this, or driving yourself crazy worrying over comments by loved ones. Know what you really want. It sounds easy, but most people struggle mightily with that one. Answer "What do I want?" and almost everything else falls into place. That doesn't mean life will be rainbows and unicorns. It simply means you can act with intention.

Sorry, that's probably not what you were looking for. And lengthy for a Monday.

hello_c_cup

Just for the record, it really, REALLY gets on my nerves when people blow off a man's insensitive comments by saying "he's just being a guy". Ugh, since when did being a dude give somebody a pass to say whatever they want? Since never, people. Stop it.

That said, it's hard to give an opinion about this without convo context, -- but when a woman has trouble 'just dropping' an issue, there's usually a good reason. Maybe you should demand an apology -- or maybe you /should/ drop it but not forget it and keep an eye out for future inconsiderate comments? Either way, I say trust your instincts!

And stay motivated! Like you said, you're doing this for you!

rml_16

Just for the record, it really, REALLY gets on my nerves when people blow off a man's insensitive comments by saying "he's just being a guy". Ugh, since when did being a dude give somebody a pass to say whatever they want? Since never, people. Stop it.

There's a difference between the probably innocent question the OP's BF asked her and a guy saying, "You're a fat cow and I'll leave you if you don't lose weight."

People don't always say things right. Mine once looked at the scale when I got on and said in a very shocked voice, "You weigh LESS than me???"

Now, it made me kind of angry and yes, it was insensitive. But I know he didn't mean it the way it sounded and wasn't thinking. I know he has no problem with my weight/size and actually would probably prefer I was a bit larger than I am (not going to happen).

kennethmgreen

Just for the record, it really, REALLY gets on my nerves when people blow off a man's insensitive comments by saying "he's just being a guy". Ugh, since when did being a dude give somebody a pass to say whatever they want? Since never, people. Stop it.

Your post would have a lot more credibility if you hadn't created a profile just to post it.

hello_c_cup

Of course there's a difference! This is why I said she should trust her instincts; she was there, we weren't. But my point stands that being a dude doesn't give you a pass for obliviousness or insensitivity.

hello_c_cup

Just for the record, it really, REALLY gets on my nerves when people blow off a man's insensitive comments by saying "he's just being a guy". Ugh, since when did being a dude give somebody a pass to say whatever they want? Since never, people. Stop it.

Your post would have a lot more credibility if you hadn't created a profile just to post it.

Lol! Case in point?

Anyway, good luck OP!

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

I read your other post on counting "those" calories....I don't think he meant to be insensitive. Everybody says insensitive things every now and again. The people telling you to break up with him don't seem so sensitive to me, given that they're advising that sort of extreme without knowing either him or you. I'd let it drop and look forward to burning all those fun calories when he gets home.

Ras_py

Recently mine said to me while *ahem* we were **snuggling** "holy **** you look so good you've lost so much weight" and honestly it kinda offended me. He meant no harm and was trying to encourage me. (i haven't really lost much weight so thats a double blow LOL) I think your SO was trying to find out and talk to you abt the life change you are wanting/are making. Sometimes it just doesn't come out the way that one side plans, or rather the other side hears something that wasn't implied.