THE MYTH OF MOTIVATION (AND WHAT YOU NEED INSTEAD)

jofaithisfit

You already know what to do to lose weight and get in shape. The smaller details will vary but the big picture is always to eat real food in appropriate quantity and move in a manner that is continually challenging. The problem is not lack of knowledge or lack of motivation. The problem is lack of decision.

Too accurate.

hjlourenshj

Yeah i call BS on this post. You don't say its lack of decision to anorexic people that they don't eat. Same on opposite to people who are eating themself to death. The problem goes so much futher then a lack of desicion and the fact that so much people agree to this is pissing me off

Hearts_2015

kae612 wrote: »

I agree. I definitely struggle with regulating my emotions - "emotional responsibility" someone in the comments terms it. In therapy, my psychiatrist encourages me to see my avoidance behaviours as "decisions." Eating a cake didn't "happen to me" and neither did not getting out of bed. These are decisions. I did that. She says that something in me doesn't want to do it - so I don't. My fears and anxieties come from just plain not wanting to do things, not having the discipline to get them done, and letting that doubt make my decision for me.

I found what you shared helpful & very inspiring, I also deal with what you've shared. This is a lot to take in had never thought of it in manner before. It just makes way more sense than the way I've been or not been handling it in the past, which is "not handling it".

@kae612 Thank you for posting your experience, you've helped far more than you may have realized!

Back a bit later to post on the blog entry.

ChaleGirl

This was I needed to read this morning. I've been wanting to lose weight for years but always have excuses for not reaching my goals, but it really is a choice. Quite simple if you let it be!

kiela64

Hearts_2015 wrote: »

kae612 wrote: »

I agree. I definitely struggle with regulating my emotions - "emotional responsibility" someone in the comments terms it. In therapy, my psychiatrist encourages me to see my avoidance behaviours as "decisions." Eating a cake didn't "happen to me" and neither did not getting out of bed. These are decisions. I did that. She says that something in me doesn't want to do it - so I don't. My fears and anxieties come from just plain not wanting to do things, not having the discipline to get them done, and letting that doubt make my decision for me.

I found what you shared helpful & very inspiring, I also deal with what you've shared. This is a lot to take in had never thought of it in manner before. It just makes way more sense than the way I've been or not been handling it in the past, which is "not handling it".

@kae612 Thank you for posting your experience, you've helped far more than you may have realized!

Back a bit later to post on the blog entry.

I'm glad My psychiatrist has been saying this to me for years, and it always troubled me. Did I really make the decision to get too anxious to do my homework? Did I choose to frantically shovel food into my mouth? Yeah. Yeah I did. This is her professional opinion, as a doctor. I did it. I did it, because I don't value myself. I've literally thought "I'm trash I'm trash I'm trash" as I ate junk so so so many times. Thus, the doubt in myself/self loathing drove me to choose self-destructive actions.

I reread this forum when I saw the notification that you tagged me, and I saw some arguments about the mental health vs "just do it" advocates. I don't really think they have to be separate. Often things have to get done anyway. We don't let people off the hook for violence towards others because of mental health issues. Violence towards the self needs to be treated similarly.

Part of "Making The Decision" to me anyway is to treat yourself with compassion. Not indulgence, but kindness. If you think of parenting, a good parent doesn't let their kid do/have whatever they want - a good parent is kind but firm. I think of myself as having an overgrown inner child - she has tantrums and is deeply emotional, constantly. I'm very sensitive and have probably the thinnest skin ever (someone spoke with me in a slightly harsh manner over the phone and I cried hysterically for 10 minutes afterwards yesterday, tbh). This inner child needs some good parenting. I wonder if becoming an "adult" really means you have to parent yourself. I don't naturally have good discipline. It's something I'm working on. I'm getting better at finding out what preparations to make so that I have something to hold onto when my inner child has a meltdown.

As far as food goes - carrying pre-made meals help me avoid fast food, having a limited cash-only budget for the month keeps me aware of my spending (and less likely to think nothing of buying an $8 tub of ice cream), I keep a reminder in my back pocket that being hungry isn't going to kill me and I can spend the time to get home or get something small and sensible until then. I could still make the choice to go out and get some, or I can make the choice to stay on the damn bus until I get home like a rational (responsible) adult human being.

For some, I think Making the Decision is going to be a simple switch, a eureka or "aha" moment. For some of us, like one commentor mentioned about their mom "trying" to quit smoking vs deciding, it's going to take a while for us to decide that we're worthy of that decision. To take emotional responsibility I think requires believing you are responsible, in both senses of the word - the culprit of the action AND the competent, capable, diligent, and disciplined person who can take it, clean it up, fix the problem, and keep going.

stringsof4

Definitely needed this.

diannethegeek

Feels like this could use a bump.

RubinaKochar

Bump for the days I feel like I can't

ladypetrushka_

This put things into amazing perspective for me. Instead of waiting for motivation, I need to cultivate more self discipline. Thanks for posting!!

BearToBeast

Needed this! Thank you!

Cylphin60

Awesome

White_hibiscus

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this.

diannethegeek

Just giving this a holiday bump. Don't mind me.

diannethegeek

I've always liked this thread. Giving it a bump.

diannethegeek

I've bumped this about a hundred times now and I don't know if anyone else is reading it, but here's another bump because I found it so useful.

diannethegeek

Whelp, might as well add another bump, just in case.

Jruzer

Bumpity bump bump

bremm2015

I made the decision yesterday to lose 1 lb per week until Christmas, so your inspirational post has motivated me to make good decisions and choices each day till Christmas. I intend reading your post each morning. Thanks so much for the motivation to stop overeating and so become slim again.

facetocallhome

This is great, thanks for sharing!

pycain

Thanks for posting this. It has changed my mindset completely. The section with the soldiers in the rain and then saying we can put down the pizza and beer literally put me into tears. I feel silly for ever feeling like not eating a cookie or some pizza is hard. Now that I've Decided to be healthy it all seems so easy and simple.