Internet dating- applicants are too fat

keithmustloseweight

I think it is more of the fat bashing that is getting him all the hate. Since this website has many users that are obese and morbidly obese. The comments about fat girls not being able to get laid and such were incredibly uncalled for


I do agree with you though. Looks are important. Everyone has a preference

Ohh it was the part about not getting laid. Right. Sorry, I'm sure there are overweight people getting it on all the time. I'm just going by my experience with being with larger girls who have told me they have a really hard time getting laid. Anyway sorry if that part caused offence

heagler870

Not saying I'm an adonis by any stretch but these girls need to do something not for my sake but for their own health and happyness. Atleast to get themselves laid once in a while cause at the moment I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be happening.

So are you saying obese women don't get laid? BAHAHAHA! Even if this isn't a trollhole post that one gave me quite the laugh.

ImperfectedBeauty

I think it is more of the fat bashing that is getting him all the hate. Since this website has many users that are obese and morbidly obese. The comments about fat girls not being able to get laid and such were incredibly uncalled for


I do agree with you though. Looks are important. Everyone has a preference

Ohh it was the part about not getting laid. Right. Sorry, I'm sure there are overweight people getting it on all the time. I'm just going by my experience with being with larger girls who have told me they have a really hard time getting laid. Anyway sorry if that part caused offence

Ok, this post answered my question. Obviously you do/can see when something can be misconstrued as offensive!.. Just dont answer their messages, if I were single and on a dating site I would be really hurt if someone replied to tell me im too big to qualify for a conversation or anything else. I do see your side of things though.

ToughTulip

I think it is more of the fat bashing that is getting him all the hate. Since this website has many users that are obese and morbidly obese. The comments about fat girls not being able to get laid and such were incredibly uncalled for


I do agree with you though. Looks are important. Everyone has a preference

Ohh it was the part about not getting laid. Right. Sorry, I'm sure there are overweight people getting it on all the time. I'm just going by my experience with being with larger girls who have told me they have a really hard time getting laid. Anyway sorry if that part caused offence

Mhmm I think that is why you are getting many hostile posts. More of how no one will date them or have sex with them because you personally don't find them attractive. Which is untrue of course.

I do share the same opinion, and do not want to date anyone overweight. But saying that alone will usually cause the daggers to start flying my way -.-

kimosabe1

hahaha... U are cool man! U know, visit other sites besides that one. I found a guy on one that was military once and he was a complete douchelord so i DUMPED HIM AFTER CHRISTMAS. SCORE!!!!!!!

keithmustloseweight

I gotta be honest: troll or not I don't see a problem with this. not everyone is attracted to overweight people and yeah, personality is great but physical attraction, for me any way, is a must too. You could be the nicest, sweetest person out there but if I am not physically attracted to you then you'll be a friend only.

OP: is there a way to put on your profile that they need to be height/weight proportionate? This could eliminate your issue.

First part agreeing totally.
In all fairness I did read their whole profiles and they sounded like nice genuine people (though one said she was obsessed with chocolate several times)

I suppose I could add in a clause about not being morbidly obese, but I feel that would probably spurn on a lot of hate from average sized people still.

Anyway it seems the consensus is to just ignore them and they can continue on as is

heagler870

And honestly, what was the need for this topic; To get a rise out of people? It's a simple concept when someone messages you and you are not interested, simply don't reply. That person that messages you has nothing to lose by you not responding. I was on a dating site for a while and I messaged a lot of people that I thought were attractive. I got responses from some and not from others. Did I care if I didn't get a response back? No! I never knew that person and a simple question "Would you like to chat" and no answer was my answer. So they didn't want to, so what? Next please

Natihilator

I'm not sexually attracted to any girl who has rolls of any kind right. This is the first line of compatibility in my brain. I have however found myself liking a lot of girls who aren't the ideal body type, particularly on MFP lol. But you know, that is my problem, not theirs. Don't ever message them saying it's because they are too fat. Have some respect dude. Just think about that for a second. You want to cry them into submission? Super **** move.

Honesty with tact. This is is how you do it.

ChristyRunStarr

i'm sure because of your wonderful, sparkling personality the ladies are lining up for you.

LOL

ARHx0

If you feel the need, add in that you are looking for someone who leads a healthy active lifestyle and cares about their physical appearance.

keithmustloseweight

Ok, this post answered my question. Obviously you do/can see when something can be misconstrued as offensive!.. Just dont answer their messages, if I were single and on a dating site I would be really hurt if someone replied to tell me im too big to qualify for a conversation or anything else. I do see your side of things though.

Yeah for sure. The bit at the end was probably unnecessary but was more based from personal experience of talking to people and friends. Fair dos though that's really what I was wanting to know, would people want a response telling the why I wasn't interested. Looks like the answer is no

I kind of figured if someone is going to take the time to read my profile and message me they would probably want a response, I know I would like I response or some kind of feedback. People usually don't bother telling you what they don't like because people don't like confrontation. there was another thread by a lady a while back about how to dump someone and plenty of people suggested just ignoring them until they stop contact you which seemed pretty rude

pudadough

Dafuq is all this noise?

Molly_Maguire

If you feel the need, add in that you are looking for someone who leads a healthy active lifestyle and cares about their physical appearance.

Definitely this. I also liked the previously suggested term "height/weight proportionate". It sends out the message, without being an asshat.

Natihilator

I feel bad for them because honestly no one is going to give them a date unless they're a chubby chaser. They might be unaware or in blissful denial. I'm not interested in being their PT.

Not saying I'm an adonis by any stretch but these girls need to do something not for my sake but for their own health and happyness. Atleast to get themselves laid once in a while cause at the moment I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be happening.

Ahhhh "Concern" troll, one of the worst variety of troll!

Ladysquire

You don't have to date anyone overweight but why would you want to say that to them? If someone messaged you back to say they didn't want to speak to you because they found you to be unnatractive would you think that was ok? I wouldn't. I would think it was unecessary.

Either ignore them or say you don't think the two of you are compatible.

Also I picked up in your original post that you seem to think that internet dating is beneath you somehow. If that's your thought then why are you even doing it?

ToughTulip

If you feel the need, add in that you are looking for someone who leads a healthy active lifestyle and cares about their physical appearance.

Definitely this. I also liked the previously suggested term "height/weight proportionate". It sends out the message, without being an asshat.

I agree, I like the active lifestyle comment too

NordicAlien

Everyone has preferences, and that's great. While I agree that the person inside is more important than the looks, the looks still matter. Can't have a relationship with someone you're not physically attracted to. Or I can't, anyway.

But no, I wouldn't feel the need to tell someone who messaged me on a dating site that I wouldn't be interested because of their weight, any more than I'd tell someone that I don't fancy them because their boobs / manly bits (depending on gender) were too small, or their nose was too big, or their skin was awful. Not saying that would necessarily be the case - my tastes in people are pretty broad - but even if it were, I wouldn't say it. Some things don't need to be said.

Sure, you can give the justification that unlike the above examples, being obese is really unhealthy and they need to be told for their own good. But come on, you really think that you'll be telling them something they haven't heard a hundred times before? You're not doing anyone any good by telling them that, you're just causing pain unnecessarily. If they ask you flat out why you're not interested in them, then sure, be honest (although I'd recommend doing it gently), but giving unasked-for advice to people you don't know isn't okay, IMO - even if, as you say, it's out of concern. If it were family members or close friends, then maybe. Strangers? No.

Just my tuppence.

AllTehBeers

Everyone is attracted to their own type. I'm not offended if a dude is not attracted to fat girls or a girl is not attracted to fat dudes. I get everyone has a type. The only thing I had to think twice about was this part:

I feel bad for them because honestly no one is going to give them a date unless they're a chubby chaser. They might be unaware or in blissful denial. I'm not interested in being their PT.

My SO loved me at 300 pounds and still loves me at closer to 200 pounds and will love me at 150 pounds. Its nothing to do with my weight.

This is just my experience, but there are plenty of people who date for mostly personality that aren't chubby chasers. If you click, you click.

As for your dating profile, just be straight up and say you want a slim chick.

DMZ_1

Hi,

So I joined an internet dating thingo a few days ago

I've not bothered messaging anyone, but have received a few messages from girls

Thing is they're all pretty obese / morbidly obese. Is it even worth telling them I'm not interested because of that? Will they rage, or take it to heart and do something about it?

I feel bad for them because honestly no one is going to give them a date unless they're a chubby chaser. They might be unaware or in blissful denial. I'm not interested in being their PT.

Not saying I'm an adonis by any stretch but these girls need to do something not for my sake but for their own health and happyness. Atleast to get themselves laid once in a while cause at the moment I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be happening.

Just ignore those messages.

Better yet, focus on meeting compatible dates offline.

KatieJane83

https://www.fitness-singles.com/

RegalSeagull

Interesting that all the people calling this guy a troll are the ones trolling.

NordicAlien

If you feel the need, add in that you are looking for someone who leads a healthy active lifestyle and cares about their physical appearance.

^ This. My dating site profile used to say something similar to this. At least up until I got fat and unhealthy. Heh.

jojorocksforeva

Thats not Right at all and its mean to say,, Who are you to judge someone els,
They probley already know its a problem its their choice to do something about it not yours,

xeanx

Just rude

Tropical_Turtle

I have to admit, I am still perplexed as to why you chose to come here and vent about the obese/morbidly people messaging you. Was the intent to make you feel better about yourself? I see a lot of judgement in the statements you have made, which is really rather sad. I get there needs to be a physical connection, but all I can say is WOW.

I have dated heavy, and thin and everything in between. Guess maybe my mother raised me right to appreciate people for WHO they are, not WHAT they look like.


Stepping out now SMH...

DavidBMack

And honestly, what was the need for this topic; To get a rise out of people? It's a simple concept when someone messages you and you are not interested, simply don't reply. That person that messages you has nothing to lose by you not responding. I was on a dating site for a while and I messaged a lot of people that I thought were attractive. I got responses from some and not from others. Did I care if I didn't get a response back? No! I never knew that person and a simple question "Would you like to chat" and no answer was my answer. So they didn't want to, so what? Next please

What is the need for any topic - This guy is obviously being insensitive with his language and provocative to a certain extent but it is surprising the hate he has had catapulted at him.
I think the interesting issue here is that we live in a superficial society - most people on here are using this site because of that - yet we also live in a P.C. society so you get all these people saying it is what is on the inside that counts and it is so awful you could be so judgmental yet dieting & working out like crazy and only dating people they find attractive (which weight is a big part of) - so hypocritical.

halobender

"Beauty is only skin deep" is something that ugly people say.

wolfpack77

DavidBMack

"Beauty is only skin deep" is something that ugly people say.

Seriously - I think it is said more often by the beautiful people - some of whom are politically correct hypocrites.

sm1zzle

Hi,

So I joined an internet dating thingo a few days ago

I've not bothered messaging anyone, but have received a few messages from girls

Thing is they're all pretty obese / morbidly obese. Is it even worth telling them I'm not interested because of that? Will they rage, or take it to heart and do something about it?

I feel bad for them because honestly no one is going to give them a date unless they're a chubby chaser. They might be unaware or in blissful denial. I'm not interested in being their PT.

Not saying I'm an adonis by any stretch but these girls need to do something not for my sake but for their own health and happyness. Atleast to get themselves laid once in a while cause at the moment I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be happening.

Don't be so picky. Next time you're in jail I'm sure the guys in the shower won't be picky as long as you make that wet *kitten* clap for them.