False complimenters... RANT

TanyaRochelle
TanyaRochelle Posts: 52 Member
in Motivation and Support
you know the people... the ones who will ALWAYS tell you how wonderful your hair or clothes are (even if you just threw on some jammy pants and met them in the store)

one of mine is my mother in law... after 10 pounds lost and only 40 more to go, she tells me I am "shrinking away to nothing," because she thinks that is what I want to hear.

or a co worker who always pulls me aside to tell me how "fabulous" I look.

I am very vocal about my healthier lifestyle and my workout program (it keeps me accountable)
I guess what what I would like to hear rather than false, exaggerated compliments are an Occasional "you are looking good today" or "you look healthy"

what would you prefer to hear people say to you in your journey to a happier, healthier you?
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Replies

  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    You're looking great!
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Why do you assume the compliments are false?
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
    Id prefer they didn't use the word Journey
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Why do you assume the compliments are false?

    Self-esteem issues maybe? :huh:
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    Why do you assume the compliments are false?

    ^^^
  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
    Perhaps people actually mean what they say to you... take a compliment, sheesh
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    "Great" post.
  • superpapa16
    superpapa16 Posts: 244 Member
    Id prefer they didn't use the word Journey

    ^ This. MFP and Glee ruined the Journey for me...
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    There are helpless children in Africa right now who have NO compliments... appreciate what you have!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    other people, especially those who don't see you day in & day out, will notice changes before you'll truly see them yourself. these may not be false compliments.

    ^^^This.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    I love all compliments. Just say thank you and move on.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    don't always assume they are false because they sound like a canned response...some people just don't know how to verbalise what they want to say.

    but if they are opening their mouth to tell you that you look good when YOU haven't asked them, "how am I looking"

    then they mean it....

    now...if you are asking "hey how do I look" and they are responding with "you look great" then maybe you can wonder, but still that doesn't make what they say any less true.

    unsolicited compliments are words they took the time to say just because they think that way.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    WooHoo!! Way to be a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day!

    If ever we meet in person I'll be sure to ask you if you're tired because you just look like someone **** in your corn flakes!
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    other people, especially those who don't see you day in & day out, will notice changes before you'll truly see them yourself. these may not be false compliments.

    This!


    Problem is, if you assume all are false, then one day you may find yourself thinking "God, no one notices!!" And the fact may be, they do but are afraid to say anything.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    NVM
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
    you know the people... the ones who will ALWAYS tell you how wonderful your hair or clothes are (even if you just threw on some jammy pants and met them in the store)

    one of mine is my mother in law... after 10 pounds lost and only 40 more to go, she tells me I am "shrinking away to nothing," because she thinks that is what I want to hear.

    or a co worker who always pulls me aside to tell me how "fabulous" I look.

    I am very vocal about my healthier lifestyle and my workout program (it keeps me accountable)
    I guess what what I would like to hear rather than false, exaggerated compliments are an Occasional "you are looking good today" or "you look healthy"

    what would you prefer to hear people say to you in your journey to a happier, healthier you?

    Maybe they aren't giving your false compliments. Maybe this is how they truly feel. Take it as a compliment ;)
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
    I'm willing to bet that you'd be dissatisfied if people NEVER complimented you either...
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    This post absolutely does not make me want to kick you in the face.

    Where's your upbeat and positive attitude?
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    THIS WAS THE BEST RANT I EVER READ!!!!!
  • SuperMammaLeah
    SuperMammaLeah Posts: 93 Member
    I think you are lucky that these people are trying to encourage you, I wish I had that. They are taking time out of their day to compliment you. Why take it so negative?
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Omg, I love your skirt! Where'd you get it?
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,493 Member
    False compliments?? Are you kidding me? Seriously, you do not appreciate a compliment from your Mother-in-law! I NEVER had one of those. I wonder what they are like.

    Take the compliments and bask in them. Because you are looking great! :flowerforyou:
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Id prefer they didn't use the word Journey

    ^ This. MFP and Glee ruined the Journey for me...
    steve-perry.jpg
    even Steve Perry is annoyed by the overuse of Journey on this site

    and the last fake compliment I heard was....
    ermahgerd....that is sooooo fetch!! \m/
  • moontyrant
    moontyrant Posts: 160 Member
    i also know when i hear a false compliment. it grates against my nerves because the complimenter uses a really high voice, like i'm a baby or a small dog. WHO'S LOSING WEIGHT? WHO'S LOSING WEIGHT? YOU ARE THAT'S RIGHT!
  • PaulaDygert
    PaulaDygert Posts: 148 Member
    Some people are built to affirm others with their words, as long as there is not an alternative motive behind the compliments they are just trying to build you up and show you they care for you. A compliment is just a verbal gift would you turn away card with $20 in it? I know I wouldn't... Accept the compliment in the form it is said, knowing you are doing great and thank them for their support.
  • Rachelle1016
    Rachelle1016 Posts: 61
    I just hate it when people tell me I look good. Those jerks.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Wow, really?

    Are people sometimes fake? Yep - you probably are sometimes too. I know I am.

    Are people a lot of times sincere? Yep. I know I am.

    Are people quite often akward (especially about weight) so things don't sound quite right when they say it, even if they are well intentioned? Uh, yes. I know I am.

    My advice? Get over it and be thankful that you have people that care about you enough to try and encourage you.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    This post absolutely does not make me want to kick you in the face.

    Where's your upbeat and positive attitude?

    I like people.
  • celamantia
    celamantia Posts: 6 Member
    Some people do look great even in jammy pants. I will sometimes compliment someone who then tells me they just threw themselves together, aren't wearing makeup, etc. that doesn't mean my compliment wasn't sincere.

    On the other hand, I have a lot of difficulty taking compliments. I rarely ever got them before, so maybe I just don't know how to deal with them. I have lost almost 73 pounds but some days I just don't/can't see it. I'll get on the scale and see that I've lost weight and be ecstatic, then see myself in the mirror and feel crushed. We are often our own worst self-critic.

    In the end, whether they truly see what they are saying or not, the compliments are coming from the right place.

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