How will you tell your kids?

toomuchbootyindapants
toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
in Chit-Chat
For those of you with children in school, do you plan to sit down and talk with them about the CT shootings today? I am on the fence about this as I certainly don't want to instill any fear in my kids' minds beyond what they may already have (I JUST put them back in public school LAST WEEK after homeschooling the past few years). But word travels fast and I'm sure other people/kids will be talking about it anyway.

My oldest will be home in less than an hour. It's safe to say she has probably heard something at this point. I can talk with her about anything. But my youngest, in elementary, may not handle the news as gracefully. I'd rather my kids hear about this from their mother first (because I KNOW they will hear about it from their friends)...and I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this.

Do you plan to tell your kids and if so, what points will you emphasize?
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Replies

  • ChrisR0se
    ChrisR0se Posts: 1,855 Member
    I can't even breathe right now...I'm torn up and just the idea of the parents coming home to Thierry empty houses...I sit here and look at my tree and the gifts under it and am just broken for these families. My kids..honestly idk...how do you tell a baby without instilling fear of school in them? I'm lost..just lost
  • FightingforFit82
    FightingforFit82 Posts: 179
    I Homeschool but Yes, we will be discussing this. I'm pretty open and honest with the kids. I will explain what happened and answer any questions they have. We will pray together and discuss compassion for the families affected and the shooters family. They all have a long hard road ahead if them :'( What happened today was so heartbeaking and awful.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Is it wrong that all I want to do is take her for a run? And maybe teach her to tuck and roll?
  • bahacca
    bahacca Posts: 878 Member
    I'm open and honest and will answer any questions they have IF THEY BRING IT UP. I will not be the one who introduces these circumstances. If they were older, I would, but in Kinder and 1st grade, I still really need them to feel SAFE in school.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    As soon as I get them both home we will sit and talk about it. They have friends that are in middle school in the town where this happened.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    I agree with bahacca, if your kids ask, then tell them.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I'm very grateful that my kids are all now >21.

    When 9/11 happened, my son was 12. It was hard to explain and I kept him home from school that day. This is so much worse.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Not really sure at this point. Probably mention something about it and gauge the reaction, and go from there.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I can't even breathe right now...I'm torn up and just the idea of the parents coming home to Thierry empty houses...I sit here and look at my tree and the gifts under it and am just broken for these families. My kids..honestly idk...how do you tell a baby without instilling fear of school in them? I'm lost..just lost

    Oh god. I forgot it was Christmas. Reading that makes me cry all over again.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    If mine were kindergarteners?

    No.

    They likely wouldn't understand at all. Their world is still too small to understand such things.
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
    I don't have any children and for once, I'm grateful for that. I can't imagine the suffering of the parents who lost a child today. If I did have children, I probably wouldn't put too much emphasis on it. I wouldn't want to cause them to worry about something that will probably never happen to them and that they cannot control. But I would hug them extra tight.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    I noticed this article by the news story - I only skimmed it, my kid is in HS so a bit older.
    http://living.msn.com/family-parenting/5-tips-on-talking-to-kids-about-scary-news?ocid=msnnws
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Is it wrong that all I want to do is take her for a run? And maybe teach her to tuck and roll?

    No...Jbean already knows how to drop it....

    they had a gun incident in her Calgary school two years ago and subsequently taught them how to handle a Lock Down,

    lock your room door, turn off the lights, close drapes and drop down behind your desk.

    Srsly.
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
    This is a good resource:

    http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/news/talking.html
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
    It is horrible. My oldest is 17 so he is old enough to understand as much as anyone can understand. My youngest is a special needs child and has no comprehension of anything really. I am glad I don't have to have this conversation with my children. I think it is truly truly sad. My friend has a daughter in kindergarten and the first week of school they had to learn how to react to intruders and gunmen if they came into the school. What happened to just worrying about fire drills & tornado drills. We truly live in a sad time.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    There's an article on either CNN or MSNBC that discusses what to say to your kids about this, I'd go fetch it but I can't right now . . . I just can't keep going back and looking and reading and looking . . .
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Ugh, this is worse than 9/11. They're not even safe at school anymore :(
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    If mine were kindergarteners?

    No.

    They likely wouldn't understand at all. Their world is still too small to understand such things.

    I disagree. They will likely hear about it and ask questions. It's better to have an honest, on their level discussion than to sweep it under the rug. That will only make it more confusing for them.

    My child is 4 and understands that people die and that the world is not always safe. I don't educate her on the details of the horrific things that happen, but I will answer her questions.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    My son is in high school, and he's actually the person who told me about it, via text message. I'm sure there will be big hugs and lots of talking at our home tonight.
  • shanae727
    shanae727 Posts: 546 Member
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.

    ^this

    I can barely wrap my mind around this so I am not going to tell them until they ask.
  • OkieinMinny
    OkieinMinny Posts: 834 Member
    I have a 6th grader and a 4th grader - the older one has the soul of an old man and worries about everything so with him I will def talk about it and talk through it - the younger one if he asks I will

    Thank god for Xbox distractions for them
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    I honestly don't know. She is already so overly sensitive and filled with fears that I'm at a loss on this one. Right now I just want to hold her and be grateful that we have each other.

    ETA: She's 10 with the emotional intelligence of an adult. I wish she could just be a little kid.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I don't know. I don't know.
    My daughter LOVES watching the news and we won't tonight
  • Brenda_Pancakes
    Brenda_Pancakes Posts: 288 Member
    Ugh, this is worse than 9/11. They're not even safe at school anymore :(

    This is a total tragedy; true. And it's super tough because it's KIDS... Little ones... But the fatality count for 9/11 was 2,976.

    Be safe here; I wouldn't compare em.
  • sunflowerhippi
    sunflowerhippi Posts: 1,099 Member
    I'm in an odd situation. I am a nanny for 3 kindergardeners. The mother is away right now, and I will have them for hours post school before the father comes home.

    I would be shocked if the kids do not ask me questions and I will do my best to anwser them as opening as I can.

    We did have the story of the 3 year old falling into the dog pit at the zoo recently that got brought up, so I do have some idea how the parents would want me to handle it but knowing how much the girls love school I kind of hope they don't hear anything at all.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.

    same here. Mine are 4 and 7.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    Is it wrong that all I want to do is take her for a run? And maybe teach her to tuck and roll?

    Nope. I want to do the same thing.

    To the OP, I'm going to teach my kids not to live in fear. They're 4 and 7. But I'm sure they're going to have questions and I'll try to answer them and assure them. And I'm going to tell them to run and hide if anything like this ever happens.
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
    I think my husband and I will talk with our older two (5 and 7). They know I'm upset about something and they keep asking what's wrong but I keep turning off the news when they come in the room. I'm just waiting until I can tell them without becoming overly emotional.
  • Francesca3162
    Francesca3162 Posts: 520 Member
    My grandson is only three.. so I don't believe his mommy will tell him anything.. my heart is broken for those families who lost their children today. Cannot imagine going home to a tree filled with presents that will never be opened. I cannot imagine the pain.....

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