How will you tell your kids?

24

Replies

  • superpapa16
    superpapa16 Posts: 244 Member
    *If* my 4 year old brings it up then I will have an age appropriate conversation with him. He's like I was at that age though. He wears his heart on his sleeve and cares about everyone. Something like this will break his heart...
  • mominwi419
    mominwi419 Posts: 87
    I have an 11 month old, so thankfully I don't have to have this discussion right now.

    I don't even know. My heart hurts so bad right now.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    Article from the APA. Maybe it could help ...

    http://www.apa.org/topics/violence/school-shooting.aspx
  • avlama
    avlama Posts: 502 Member
    all i could do is cry....my heart goes out to them. keep it simple that's what i plan to do, my son is in elementary school. you dont want them to lose their innocence so early but dont let them be sitting ducks either.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    My kids are pretty small, and they know about bad strangers. We will have that conversation again tonight. I want my kids to be informed but not afraid, and I certainly want them to react quickly in any dangerous situation.
  • Klem4
    Klem4 Posts: 399 Member
    Probably won't mention it, and keep the tv off of the news. Mine are only almost 3 and 5. Oldest is in Kindergarten. I can't even wrap my mind around it, so yeah.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.


    This is where I am at. Mine are three and six. Six year old was home sick today, so she might not hear about it.
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
    My boys are 6 and 9 and go to a school that is very open to discussing these things and I am sure it is being discussed right now. They practice lock downs and security. I know the boys will bring it up and I will talk to them about it regardless. I don't want them to be afraid to go to school or anywhere for that matter, but I want them to be smart and observant of their surroundings and the weird people that they may encounter.
  • RLDeShazo
    RLDeShazo Posts: 356 Member
    My daughter is older, so we will discuss it like I would with anyone else.

    Back when 9/11 happened, she was still in elementary school. We live close to an AF base, so there are always planes flying overhead. All she knew from that morning was that some planes had hit buildings. On the way to school, she expressed concern that it would happen at school, since there are so many planes flying over. I explained that she had nothing to worry about and that she was safe at school.
    Later that SAME DAY some idiot called in a bomb threat to the schools. Fortunately, there was a park next to her elementary, so they were able to get the kids out of the building without too much of a panic (although she did pick up on the anxiety of the teachers). I didn't tell her about the bomb threat until years later.
  • apedeb09
    apedeb09 Posts: 805 Member
    I won't be telling my daughter unless she asks (she's barely 6). I don't want her to be scared to go to school.. All I want to do right now is hug her tight. She gets home from school in an hour :(
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
    I am just hearing about this, via you Jen on MFP. My kids just got home from school and haven't said a word. So, they must not know either.

    I was in elementary school when Laurie damn entered hubbards woods elementary school and took out 7 kids. We weren't allowed out for recess that day. And when school ended for the day Laurie had already left the school, and was holed up in a house w
    Hostages. So, we were allowed to walk home from school.

    I watched the news that night, and we heard she had committed suicide after letting her hostages go. We went to school the next day. There were memorials. One boy went to temple w a friend of mine. The following year I was on spring break w a girl that was in one of the classrooms Laurie dann entered.

    I wasn't afraid to go to school. We all remembered and talked about it for years to come, but it didn't make us afraid. Even now, I can remember the day and weeks and months and years after it. I can tell you Laurie danns every move that day before she entered the school. What her path was through the school and what happened afterwards to her. It's a part of me, and always will be.

    Unless my kids bring up what happened today, I won't say anything. It's a challenging thing to carry with you......
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Mine are 13 and 14.
    I'm sure they will have heard by the time they get out today.
    I will be there for them.
  • MariaLivingFit
    MariaLivingFit Posts: 224 Member
    From PBS:
    http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/news/talking.html
  • beekuzz
    beekuzz Posts: 428 Member
    I can't even breathe right now...I'm torn up and just the idea of the parents coming home to Thierry empty houses...I sit here and look at my tree and the gifts under it and am just broken for these families. My kids..honestly idk...how do you tell a baby without instilling fear of school in them? I'm lost..just lost

    Oh god. I forgot it was Christmas. Reading that makes me cry all over again.

    Agree. :brokenheart:
  • beekuzz
    beekuzz Posts: 428 Member
    PBO is crying. You can't help being heartbroken for everyone.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    From PBS:
    http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/news/talking.html

    this article is much better than the one I posted from the APA. I'm not surprised.
  • all4my3boyz
    all4my3boyz Posts: 94 Member
    I can't even breathe right now...I'm torn up and just the idea of the parents coming home to their empty houses...I sit here and look at my tree and the gifts under it and am just broken for these families. My kids..honestly idk...how do you tell a baby without instilling fear of school in them? I'm lost..just lost

    Same here... So heartbroken for all those families :cry:
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    My baby is only 3, she's not in school yet and I'm stuck here at work balling my eyes out for the past 2-3 hours for these families while she is safe, at home with my in-laws.

    I'm not going to say anything to her because she wouldn't understand and at 3 I don't think she needs to. But, if she was older and in school? I haven't a clue. I'm having trouble coming to grips with it myself.

    I'm a mess, my stomach is in knots, I'm dizzy, my eyes have not stopped leaking and my nose is red and burning from the amount of times I've blown it already.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    I have a 6 year old and an 11 year old.
    We have been kicking around home schooling for a few years...
    This might be the final push....
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    I have no idea what to do. How can you prepare them for something like this? Do they need to know? I don't know what the school's have already told them. All I do know is I been wanting to go take him out of school and just hold him. I don't have much time when he gets home because I have to go to work but I'm trying to get ready so when he gets home I can just hug him.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Nope. Nothing to tell them that they need to learn or know about the big bad world right now.
    And it's likely that they won't hear about it here in France - we filter a lot of world news out of their lives.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    My son's great grandfather died last month and it was virtually impossible to get him to understand the concept. I answered every question he had, though. If he asks, I will tell him, but he's 5 and his level of understanding would not be able to even grasp the magnitude of what happened today.
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    i dont have any kids but,ill defanitly be going visit my neices and hugging them tonight!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    if my kids ask me, we will discuss it, but I will not bring it up with them. It's going to take everything inside of me not to cry when I pick them up this evening.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
    So weird - didn't even know about this until I came on MFP, but I felt so sick to my stomach today I only got in 8 min.

    This country has been through so much since 2001. Besides our own personal problems, we have these collective, vicariously traumatic experiences like 9/11, the ensuing wars, Katrina, the Tsunami, those tornados, the housing market crash, the movie and mall shootings and now this.

    I had a lot of fear of disaster after Katrina, but I don't anymore. God has miraculously removed the fear that hung palpitably over my days. I pray that the the people affected my this - directly and vicariously, will be comforted by the only one that can give us internal peace. I am so thankful to God every day. We woke up, we are healthy, we have food to eat, a roof over our heads, we are educated. We may not have world peace, but we have peace at home. I hope those who read this can better appreciate the sweetness of their daily lives.

    As for my kids, we won't discuss this. I homeschool, so they won't hear about at school, and they normally only watch kids stuff.
  • ahjenny
    ahjenny Posts: 293 Member
    My kids are young enough that they don't need to know. This is such a tragic incident. Words cannot express it.
  • FightingforFit82
    FightingforFit82 Posts: 179
    Well, we did discuss it. They cried and we prayed over it. Their kindness has touched my heart. They are wanting to make cards and send then to those affected. I love my babies and their hearts.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    As a mother of 5 children, between the ages of 7 and 14, this school shooting really hits home for me. Im so saddened by it... I have always been very open and transperant with all of my children... I do not sugar coat things, I do not keep info from them... I feel that they deserve to know all the information that goes on in the world around them, so that they can better prepare themselves appropriately, if ever in a similar situation. Ive been like this about everything... Terror attacks, kiddnappings, rape / molestations... and school shootings... Some people say, "You dont want to scare them, and feel like the world isnt safe..." Well guess what, THIS WORLD ISNT SAFE, AND THEY SHOULD KNOW IT! This world is not full of cotton candy and butterflies... There is evil in this world, and its all around us, and I want my kids to be vigilant. My heart and prayers go out to the families of the victims of this tragedy, and only GOD has the power to comfort them at this time...

    I will allow them to watch new coverage, I will make sure they understand the magnitude of what has happened, and then I will talk to them, with my talking points being centered around Christianity... I will make sure my children are comforted by the fact that these children are in the arms of our GOD, but at the same time, the parents and family will be experiencing hellon earth over the coming months and even years...
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    We live in Canada...i will explain our gun control, and although we've had 1 school shooting in Alberta, it isn't something to fear. I will only discuss it with him if he brings it up. I will also explain that guns DO kill people instead of the famous saying "guns don't kill people, people kill people". So thankful we live here, and so sad for those that lost loved ones today
  • CarolinaGirlinVA
    CarolinaGirlinVA Posts: 1,508 Member
    I didn't find out until about 20 minutes before my kids were dismissed from school (ages 7 and 9). Once I saw my kids walking towards me, I got tears in my eyes and hugged them both so tight. They immediately asked what was wrong and I didn't want other kids to overhear, so I just told them something bad happened at a school today and I'm glad they are safe. My 9yo told me all about a girl who sprained her ankle in PE and my heart broke at his innocence. Once we got home, I told them what happened and told them I am so glad they were not there and that I love them very much. My 13yo just walked in the door and he watched a little bit of the news and was very empathetic. He immediately asked where his 9yo brother was, I told him it was in another state and his brother was safe.

    My 13yo has emotional problems and bursts of anger. He has very little impulse control and lets his emotions dictate his actions. He has been receiving help since he was 5, yet when I hear about situations like this I pray we are doing enough and he never does anything of this sort.

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