How will you tell your kids?

13

Replies

  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Is it wrong that all I want to do is take her for a run? And maybe teach her to tuck and roll?

    No...Jbean already knows how to drop it....

    they had a gun incident in her Calgary school two years ago and subsequently taught them how to handle a Lock Down,

    lock your room door, turn off the lights, close drapes and drop down behind your desk.

    Srsly.


    yep, my kid and his school are well trained in lock downs too...we all are since the Taber shooting shortly after Columbine. I was in highschool just outside of Taber when it happened, plus I got threatened at my work place when a recently fired employee threatened to come back with a shotgun and blow us all away. It makes me less panicky to know that i have protocal.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    My son came in from school and I just grabbed him and hugged him tightly, all the while I started crying and tears just rolled down my face, he asks me "Mom, what's wrong?" I told him "Nothing, I just love you" he says "So that is why you are crying?" I said "Yes, pretty much!" He said "Is it that time of month? Dad always complains about it because you cry a lot."

    I love that kid so much but no baby it's not because of TOM!!
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    If mine were kindergarteners?

    No.

    They likely wouldn't understand at all. Their world is still too small to understand such things.

    I disagree. They will likely hear about it and ask questions. It's better to have an honest, on their level discussion than to sweep it under the rug. That will only make it more confusing for them.

    My child is 4 and understands that people die and that the world is not always safe. I don't educate her on the details of the horrific things that happen, but I will answer her questions.

    Yup. Kids are more afraid of things if they have parents who are acting afraid and secretive. It's likely that your children, no matter how young, will be exposed to this. Be calm, explain at their age level, and only say more if they ask questions. While you don't have to tell them every detail, don't ever tell them they're too young to understand or try to hide information from that that they are requesting. This just makes the "secret" they're not privy to seem scarier.

    It's also a good time to teach some survivor techniques. Assure them that it is unlikely that they will ever have to use these techniques but ensure that they would know to run, hide, be quiet, etc. If they don't already know, teach them to dial 911. That type of stuff.

    This will make the child feel empowered. People who feel empowered are less fearful.

    Whatever you do, don't transmit your fears to them. I mean, really, while this is a horrific tragedy for the people involved, it's not something that 99.9% of us will ever encounter. The odds are that your child will live a long, safe life without ever being involved in any kind of shooting. This is not something you or they should lose sleep over.
  • OnionMomma
    OnionMomma Posts: 938 Member
    If mine were kindergarteners?

    No.

    They likely wouldn't understand at all. Their world is still too small to understand such things.

    Very true, but I was teaching Kindergarten on that day and the next day my students had to sit and watch me cry while trying to explain to them why bad people do horrible things.

    It was not a fun day and thinking about it makes me cry.

    As a teacher that day, I wish parents had hid this from their younger children.

    Not sure what I will do with my now Kindergarten son. I don't think he'll understand. I will probably only tell him anything if he brings it up because a friend said something.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    I see no reason to tell a young child at all unless they've heard about it and are curious.

    And I've heard so many people say that they're going to begin homeschooling now.. really? You might as well chain your child to their bed and not allow them in grocery stores, malls, or anywhere public as well. And their friend's parents might be closet murderers, so avoid friendships too.

    It's a very sad tragedy indeed, but putting your child in a bubble won't keep them any safer.
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    I made my 1st grader and two 4yrs watch!! They need to know about this world and how stupid people become!! NO SHAME
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    Also I told my kids if there is someone shooting to hurry lay down and PRETEND you are dead! Less chances of being shot!! Not many chances but LESS
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    As for home schooling? REALLY ?? The kids will have a life OUT DOORS... let them experience it! Sorry to vent! PISSED MOM
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I told my 6, and 4 year old, that something really sad happened. A man went to a school and killed some kids and some grown ups. I then answered their questions as best I could, usually with "I don't know". We figured they'd hear about it at school and it'd be better to hear it from us.
  • Tat2dDom0105
    Tat2dDom0105 Posts: 661
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.

    This, and mine are 7 and 11....
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    I honestly don't think I would "tell" my kids (if I had any, anyway). If they had questions or where upset, obviously I would address it, but it doesn't feel like it needs a big ordeal made about it.

    I mean, I was in elementary school during the Columbine shooting. I recognized it was a horrible thing, but I don't think I had questions or began fearing for my life after that. It was just sort of an event that helped me understand life is uncertain and bad things happen.
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
    No, my son is 7 but he is special needs. He wouldn't understand.
  • parvati
    parvati Posts: 432 Member
    My kids are 5, 11 & 13. When they came home I told them that I loved them... Held each of them tightly & then told them that a horrible tragedy had happened... We had a brief conversation about it but I did tell them.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    As for home schooling? REALLY ?? The kids will have a life OUT DOORS... let them experience it! Sorry to vent! PISSED MOM

    Life outdoors? When they spend 8 hours in a school building?

    I was homeschooled. Three hours of school work every morning and the rest of the day to actually BE outdoors and be a kid.

    OP: You know your kids better then we do. Chances are they'll hear it about it sometime. Might be better if you broach it yourself. Just say; "You might hear about something that happened today. I want you to know that you're safe but I think we should discuss a few ways to make sure you stay that way."
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
    Is it wrong that all I want to do is take her for a run? And maybe teach her to tuck and roll?

    No...Jbean already knows how to drop it....

    they had a gun incident in her Calgary school two years ago and subsequently taught them how to handle a Lock Down,

    lock your room door, turn off the lights, close drapes and drop down behind your desk.

    Srsly.
    I'm glad kids are getting this kind of support. My hearts go out to the families of those who died today... ):
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    I was actually at a program put on by a local police department about how to deal with situations like this. The problem is the schools won't get on board with it. The current protocol is to hide under a desk or something like that and that just makes for an easy target. If kids and teachers were taught to throw things at the assailant they would be too busy blocking themselves to shoot anyone or anything. The reason people like this are more successful than a police officer at hitting their target is because they are holding still. Policemen are usually aiming for a moving target. This whole thing makes me so sad, my kids are very close to the ages of these children and it hits close to home.
  • gadenni34
    gadenni34 Posts: 294 Member
    I won't be telling them unless they hear and then ask. I see no reason to scare them. We have been dealing with two local-ish girls who were kidnapped and recently found by hunters. having to explain to my daughter that the little girls bodies had been found was hard enough. I just don't think they need to know at this point in time. I will just be grateful that I can hold them and hug them. my thoughts are with those families. I am just so sad about this tragedy. so terrible.
  • JBott84
    JBott84 Posts: 268 Member
    No, my son is 7 but he is special needs. He wouldn't understand.

    My daughter too. She's 8 and does not have the cognitive ability to grasp what happened.

    But I do have a 10 year old step-son. When the shooting took place in Colorado we spoke to him about it because he overheard his Dad and I talking about it. You should have seen his face..I felt so badly for him trying to understand. He cried; He was very upset. We had a talk about how to try to be safe if something like that was ever to occur. So, no I won't be bringing this up to him, we've gone over it. I want him to feel SAFE at school. If he asks, well then I have no choice but to talk to him about it. But, sadly we were already forced to discuss maniacs with guns.

    ***
    I did however, e-mail my daughters school district questioning the security measures at the school. (I encourage everyone to do the same) Being that she has special needs and would not be able to run and hide or be silent and still to hide; it makes me fearful if anything was to ever happen. She wouldn't understand how to act in that situation. Luckily there are several Teachers and Para's in her classroom., hopefully she would be swooped up and carried to safety.
  • sirabe
    sirabe Posts: 294 Member
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.


    I agree. I don't see a reason to discuss it and scare them if they don't bring it up. They are 5 and 7. They are well aware there are bad people out there. It's not sheltering them from it, just preserving their awe and wonder.

    It's just like I am not discussing the injustice and wars around the world with them either unless they ask.

    I want them to be cautious in life, but not afraid of life.
  • coffee_rocks
    coffee_rocks Posts: 275 Member
    My 12 year old hasn't heard yet and my wife and I are not watching the news with him in the room. I'm sure he'll see or hear about it a little tomorrow, and I'll be there to answer questions and talk about it. There's no right answer to this question, as each child is different. Keeping the message age appropriate is the key, and be open and honest when they ask questions.

    There is no answer to the question "Why?"
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    I won't be bringing this up with my kids but will answer questions if they ask. They are only 4 and 6.


    I agree. I don't see a reason to discuss it and scare them if they don't bring it up. They are 5 and 7. They are well aware there are bad people out there. It's not sheltering them from it, just preserving their awe and wonder.

    It's just like I am not discussing the injustice and wars around the world with them either unless they ask.

    I want them to be cautious in life, but not afraid of life.
    I believe you need to aware your kids of the world.... EXAMPLE today.. What does an innocent child do with out guidance ?
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    All I want is all the protection I as a parent can give MY KIDS!!! No shame, no hide.. JUST LIFE>>> Message me for fight's because I will be on my phone from here on out and cant view FORUMS
  • zoukeira
    zoukeira Posts: 313 Member
    I think kids are more resiliant than we often give them credit for - and they can usually make better sense of the world than we give them credit for too. If I had to be making this decision (my son is 7 but Autistic) I would talk to him about it, I definitely wouldn't hide it and if he wanted I would be ok with him watching coverage of it on tv. However, if you'd asked me two years go what I'd do I would've replied differently - now I've seen first hand how well young children handle trauma and how they process it. I think they handle it better than most adults.
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
    I'm open and honest and will answer any questions they have IF THEY BRING IT UP. I will not be the one who introduces these circumstances. If they were older, I would, but in Kinder and 1st grade, I still really need them to feel SAFE in school.
    this is me exactly - my Kinderbaby asked me earlier why i was crying when i hugged her, i said it was because i loved her very much. later on when i was watching the news she said she had seen the story in grandma and grandpas room and she asked what happened - i left many details out but said a man went into the school and killed some people but we dont know why. my first grader hasnt asked or said anything about it, but i will say the same to her if she comes to me.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    I teach 6th graders and I made a special effort today to avoid saying anything or accidentally having a news story on the screen. I wanted their parents to be the ones to help them through it. I don't know what I'll say if they mention it Monday.

    I don't have any kids of my own, but the images of the kids coming out of that school were gut-wrenching and I say that with 100% sincerity. Just horrific. Little babies like that should never be forced to deal with the aftermath of something like that.

    And then I saw that some of them had actually been interviewed by the press and I wanted to scream! Media should not be allowed anywhere near those children. Ask the police, ask the administrators of the school, but leave the kids out of it, for god's sake!
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    Keep kids safe
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
    My kids knew about it before they came home from school. My 7th grader said they were playing it on the school news televisions at lunch time. It is terrible to know that all those babies were lost because someone got mad at his mother.
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
    I didn't even think about telling my kids. Wow. . . maybe I should. I guess I try to shield them from the bad things. We just had a shooting (with a bow and arrow) at a college about 4 hours from here, but we live in a pretty safe area. Thank you for asking this question because now I think I need to sit down with them and explain that things like this happen. A real eye-opener for me!

    My thoughts and prayers are with the families. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a child, especially this close to Christmas. :cry:
  • vegas711
    vegas711 Posts: 92 Member
    Only if they bring it up. Then will be straight forward

    http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2012/dec/14/counselors-urge-parents/


    http://www.boston.com/dailydose/2012/12/14/how-talk-kids-about-the-connecticut-school-shooting/GsG2TFfNSH1IohWneiXioN/story.html
  • Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop
    Ninja_Tamia_Woop_Woop Posts: 139
    Only if they bring it up. Then will be straight forward

    http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2012/dec/14/counselors-urge-parents/


    http://www.boston.com/dailydose/2012/12/14/how-talk-kids-about-the-connecticut-school-shooting/GsG2TFfNSH1IohWneiXioN/story.html

    Nosy pants lol

Categories