Food Diary CHEATERS!
Replies
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It's not a matter of proven or perceived. The point pressica and I were making (at least, I think it's the point pressica was making. Can't speak for her, obviously) is that, sure, these problems exist. People may 'lie' or be less than accurate in logging what they eat... but instead of posting about it in a public board (even if just to vent) it may be better just to delete that person as a friend. Because in drawing attention to the negative, it's sort of created an ugliness here. Though I know it wasn't your intent, people have had their feelings hurt. Others have been put on the defensive. And, really, people shouldn't feel like that at MFP (I don't believe).
For many of us here, MFP has always (well, most of the time) been a really loving, supportive, happy place. It's one of the few boards I've ever joined that doesn't have trolls or ugliness or bad attitude everywhere you look. That's what draws- and keeps- people here, I believe. But it's one thing to vent about someone's behavior when it affects you in a negative way. This situation, though, doesn't affect or hurt ANYONE- other than the person who's fudging in their food diary. That person, by the way, possibly knows that this thread is about them by now and may be feeling targeted or offended. So whereas before nobody was hurt, now people ARE hurt. See what I'm saying? You're basically saying, "If you're hurt, you should look inwards and see what you're doing wrong." What I'm saying is that, people shouldn't HAVE to 'look inward' or 're-evaluate' what they're doing. We're each here on our own journey. Yes, along the way, I want to support others as they support me. But let's be frank, most people don't join MFP because they want to be a shoulder. They join because they have their own fitness/nutrition/health goals, and they want their own support. And how the path each of us decides to walk on that journey is, by and large, up to us. If I want to eat pizza for breakfast, I will- I don’t need to justify it to anyone. It is up to my friends to decide if they will support me or not support me. Just because my newsfeed says I’m under my calories for the day doesn’t mean I’m looking for attention or congrats- MFP does that automatically, without my say. People who don’t like the way I eat, or exercise, or think or speak are free to delete me from their friends list, or not add me in the first place.
I really am not trying to be negative here, nor attack you in any way. I’m just trying to explain that some people are feeling hurt right now. Others are offended. Some people have gone from public diaries to private, merely because now they’re afraid that others will read what they’ve been eating and make them feel bad about it.
That’s why I made my journal private in the first place- because someone PM’d me, commenting on what I’d had for lunch. I didn’t ask for their opinion about my eating habits, but I got it- and it stung. This thread, whether you’ve intended to or not, has affected a lot of people. So I think it’s important to reach out to those people and say please, don’t focus on the ugliness and the negativity. We all have common goals here. Many of us came here in the first place because we couldn’t find the support we needed in our real lives. We’ve made real connections, created very real bonds. THAT should be our focus. We need to work on improving our bodies, becoming healthier and happier people.
I’m just concerned because I don’t want anyone walking away after reading this thread feeling bad about themselves, or their habits. NONE of you owe me, or anyone else, an explanation. If I fall, I would like someone to give me a hand to get back up. I want to offer that hand, too- and a kick in the butt, if you feel you need it! Focus on your own goals. If someone upsets you, take that negative energy and put it into a really great work-out. That might be a more productive way of burning off that “ickiness”- instead of creating a thread that will only cause bad feelings in the long run. Again, I’m sure it wasn’t your intent at all. But hey, it’s happened and we have to acknowledge it.
Just my two cents, of course.0 -
This is exactly why my diary is private....0
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I did read the entire thread Karma. And in fact, I have read some of your previous threads so I am not trying to be biased in any way. I have seen ways that you have contributed to MFP, and it's appreciated. Food isn't the same as cheating in school, but I can see why you would feel that way. In school, if a person cheats, it messes up the overall average and makes it unfair to other students and brings them down. In this case, it isn't personally affecting your progress. In this case, you aren't encouraging them in something harmful, but rather encouraging positive improvement. The mere fact that people log their food is a HUGE step in the right direction. It is educational and healthy (whether logged in part or full) and I applaude that.
You acknowledge that in an earlier thread so I know that you understand that. I do not feel a sting in the least personally, but when I see people feeling bad it makes me hurt. I just think that we need to be good examples of support on this website because there are enough people to judge us offline. Telling someone that they need to check their diary before they throw stones is harsh, not helpful. I believe in putting things straight and being honest. Your other posts are always very candid and honest. I always admire honesty. I get that you are trying to educate people here, but I will honestly tell you...you cannot educate people by insulting them or calling them out. The part of your brain that processes information works at a decreased rate when you get upset. I prefer positivity.
On a side note, as I am by no means trying to make internet enemies, I am impressed with your writing abilities! You make for a great debate! :drinker:
While I do appreciate your compliment on my writing abilities, it isn't about debate for me. There are plenty of internet sites out there to express that need for debate. MFP is about encouragement and being on the same time. I am in no way trying to attack you. I wish you luck with your weight loss. We have about the same amount to lose and I hope that we can both continue to improve and achieve our goals.
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It's not a matter of proven or perceived. The point pressica and I were making (at least, I think it's the point pressica was making. Can't speak for her, obviously) is that, sure, these problems exist. People may 'lie' or be less than accurate in logging what they eat... but instead of posting about it in a public board (even if just to vent) it may be better just to delete that person as a friend. Because in drawing attention to the negative, it's sort of created an ugliness here. Though I know it wasn't your intent, people have had their feelings hurt. Others have been put on the defensive. And, really, people shouldn't feel like that at MFP (I don't believe).
For many of us here, MFP has always (well, most of the time) been a really loving, supportive, happy place. It's one of the few boards I've ever joined that doesn't have trolls or ugliness or bad attitude everywhere you look. That's what draws- and keeps- people here, I believe. But it's one thing to vent about someone's behavior when it affects you in a negative way. This situation, though, doesn't affect or hurt ANYONE- other than the person who's fudging in their food diary. That person, by the way, possibly knows that this thread is about them by now and may be feeling targeted or offended. So whereas before nobody was hurt, no people ARE hurt. See what I'm saying? You're basically saying, "If you're hurt, you should look inwards and see what you're doing wrong." What I'm saying is that, people shouldn't HAVE to 'look inward' or 're-evaluate' what they're doing. We're each here on our own journey. Yes, along the way, I want to support others as they support me. But let's be frank, most people don't join MFP because they want to be a shoulder. They join because they have their own fitness/nutrition/health goals, and they want their own support. And how the path each of us decides to walk on that journey is, by and large, up to us. If I want to eat pizza for breakfast, I will- I don’t need to justify it to anyone. It is up to my friends to decide if they will support me or not support me. Just because my newsfeed says I’m under my calories for the day doesn’t mean I’m looking for attention or congrats- MFP does that automatically, without my say. People who don’t like the way I eat, or exercise, or think or speak are free to delete me from their friends list, or not add me in the first place.
I really am not trying to be negative here, nor attack you in any way. I’m just trying to explain that some people are feeling hurt right now. Others are offended. Some people have gone from public diaries to private, merely because now they’re afraid that others will read what they’ve been eating and make them feel bad about it.
That’s why I made my journal private in the first place- because someone PM’d me, commenting on what I’d had for lunch. I didn’t ask for their opinion about my eating habits, but I got it- and it stung. This thread, whether you’ve intended to or not, has affected a lot of people. So I think it’s important to reach out to those people and say please, don’t focus on the ugliness and the negativity. We all have common goals here. Many of us came here in the first place because we couldn’t find the support we needed in our real lives. We’ve made real connections, created very real bonds. THAT should be our focus. We need to work on improving our bodies, becoming healthier and happier people.
I’m just concerned because I don’t want anyone walking away after reading this thread feeling bad about themselves, or their habits. NONE of you owe me, or anyone else, an explanation. If I fall, I would like someone to give me a hand to get back up. I want to offer that hand, too- and a kick in the butt, if you feel you need it! Focus on your own goals. If someone upsets you, take that negative energy and put it into a really great work-out. That might be a more productive way of burning off that “ickiness”- instead of creating a thread that will only cause bad feelings in the long run. Again, I’m sure it wasn’t your intent at all. But hey, it’s happened and we have to acknowledge it.
Just my two cents, of course.
Well, you two cents just became worth a million dollars.
I do apologize if I offended anyone; I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and, while I did post this thread, my feeling were hurt too by those that did not take the time to think about what they said when they posted. I was definitely not expecting that! I have mulled over this issue for a few weeks now because I did not want to hurt anyone. But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with. You have proven your point elloquently and so I thank you for that.
Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.0 -
This may be some crazy skewed view I have, but I didn't find anything about this thread offensive at all until the last few posts. :ohwell:0
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I did read the entire thread Karma. And in fact, I have read some of your previous threads so I am not trying to be biased in any way. I have seen ways that you have contributed to MFP, and it's appreciated. Food isn't the same as cheating in school, but I can see why you would feel that way. In school, if a person cheats, it messes up the overall average and makes it unfair to other students and brings them down. In this case, it isn't personally affecting your progress. In this case, you aren't encouraging them in something harmful, but rather encouraging positive improvement. The mere fact that people log their food is a HUGE step in the right direction. It is educational and healthy (whether logged in part or full) and I applaude that.
You acknowledge that in an earlier thread so I know that you understand that. I do not feel a sting in the least personally, but when I see people feeling bad it makes me hurt. I just think that we need to be good examples of support on this website because there are enough people to judge us offline. Telling someone that they need to check their diary before they throw stones is harsh, not helpful. I believe in putting things straight and being honest. Your other posts are always very candid and honest. I always admire honesty. I get that you are trying to educate people here, but I will honestly tell you...you cannot educate people by insulting them or calling them out. The part of your brain that processes information works at a decreased rate when you get upset. I prefer positivity.
On a side note, as I am by no means trying to make internet enemies, I am impressed with your writing abilities! You make for a great debate! :drinker:
While I do appreciate your compliment on my writing abilities, it isn't about debate for me. There are plenty of internet sites out there to express that need for debate. MFP is about encouragement and being on the same time. I am in no way trying to attack you. I wish you luck with your weight loss. We have about the same amount to lose and I hope that we can both continue to improve and achieve our goals. .
I was going to say the same, but forgot. I don't come to MFP to debate. I run my own online forum, and can debate there until my face turns blue. I come to MFP because I want to become a healthier person. I log-in to the forums for support, and to support. I don't come here to fight or argue, because... well, I can find an arguement or 'debate' anywhere! Support is much harder to find...0 -
I did read the entire thread Karma. And in fact, I have read some of your previous threads so I am not trying to be biased in any way. I have seen ways that you have contributed to MFP, and it's appreciated. Food isn't the same as cheating in school, but I can see why you would feel that way. In school, if a person cheats, it messes up the overall average and makes it unfair to other students and brings them down. In this case, it isn't personally affecting your progress. In this case, you aren't encouraging them in something harmful, but rather encouraging positive improvement. The mere fact that people log their food is a HUGE step in the right direction. It is educational and healthy (whether logged in part or full) and I applaude that.
You acknowledge that in an earlier thread so I know that you understand that. I do not feel a sting in the least personally, but when I see people feeling bad it makes me hurt. I just think that we need to be good examples of support on this website because there are enough people to judge us offline. Telling someone that they need to check their diary before they throw stones is harsh, not helpful. I believe in putting things straight and being honest. Your other posts are always very candid and honest. I always admire honesty. I get that you are trying to educate people here, but I will honestly tell you...you cannot educate people by insulting them or calling them out. The part of your brain that processes information works at a decreased rate when you get upset. I prefer positivity.
On a side note, as I am by no means trying to make internet enemies, I am impressed with your writing abilities! You make for a great debate! :drinker:
While I do appreciate your compliment on my writing abilities, it isn't about debate for me. There are plenty of internet sites out there to express that need for debate. MFP is about encouragement and being on the same time. I am in no way trying to attack you. I wish you luck with your weight loss. We have about the same amount to lose and I hope that we can both continue to improve and achieve our goals. .
This being one of them based on perception, of course.
Good luck on your jouney, as well.0 -
This may be some crazy skewed view I have, but I didn't find anything about this thread offensive at all until the last few posts. :ohwell:
That's how I felt about it, too.
But like someone said earlier, "Did it really have to come to this"? :ohwell:0 -
Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.
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Don't apologize! You stated your opinion, people re-butted! That is what this is all about! We all learn from this site, whether we perceive negativity or not..........Maybe it's that we're from Chicago or something:devil: ......the spicy flavor comes through from the Midwest hehehehe
I love to read a good debate, but I have decided to keep it light so my "defensive nature" does not come out too much LOL.....0 -
Well, you two cents just became worth a million dollars.
I do apologize if I offended anyone; I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and, while I did post this thread, my feeling were hurt too by those that did not take the time to think about what they said when they posted. I was definitely not expecting that! I have mulled over this issue for a few weeks now because I did not want to hurt anyone. But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with. You have proven your point elloquently and so I thank you for that.
Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.
I know you didn't mean any harm. I think that feelings were hurt because people read too much into it, attached their own issues to it. I also understand how some people would feel 'called out', if they behaved in a way you described (Even if you weren't talking about them) .
But, really, the initial post turned into something else entirely. I know that you couldn't have seen that coming when you posted in the first place. I also think you're a smart woman with good things to say. :flowerforyou:
The point I was making was that, feelings wound up hurt, period. And that makes me sad 'cause we're all on the same team. So I wanted to say something to get that out there, because we shouldn't be fighting eachother. We should be fighting.... the fat-monster!0 -
Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.
Don't apologize! You stated your opinion, people re-butted! That is what this is all about! We all learn from this site, whether we perceive negativity or not..........Maybe it's that we're from Chicago or something:devil: ......the spicy flavor comes through from the Midwest hehehehe
I love to read a good debate, but I have decided to keep it light so my "defensive nature" does not come out too much LOL.....
[/quote]
Thank you, Melissa. Perhaps it is that Chicago spice! LOL Either way, if nothing else, I found some new friends and I learned a lot from this post!0 -
Well, you two cents just became worth a million dollars.
I do apologize if I offended anyone; I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and, while I did post this thread, my feeling were hurt too by those that did not take the time to think about what they said when they posted. I was definitely not expecting that! I have mulled over this issue for a few weeks now because I did not want to hurt anyone. But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with. You have proven your point elloquently and so I thank you for that.
Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.
I know you didn't mean any harm. I think that feelings were hurt because people read too much into it, attached their own issues to it. I also understand how some people would feel 'called out', if they behaved in a way you described (Even if you weren't talking about them) .
But, really, the initial post turned into something else entirely. I know that you couldn't have seen that coming when you posted in the first place. I also think you're a smart woman with good things to say. :flowerforyou:
The point I was making was that, feelings wound up hurt, period. And that makes me sad 'cause we're all on the same team. So I wanted to say something to get that out there, because we shouldn't be fighting eachother. We should be fighting.... the fat-monster!
So true! Thank you for sharing...your opion, in my opinion, is held with very high regard!0 -
I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with.
Forgot to respond to this part... d'oh! :bigsmile:
I TOTALLY agree people need to look inward if they're looking for change. DEEP inward. I had to figure out WHY I ate the way that I ate, in order to put a stop to it. I think what I mean about people don't need to 'look inward' is simply that they don't need to re-evaluate the way they eat/log calories just because we tell them to. They don't 'owe it' to us. They're entitled to feel how they feel.
But yes, absolutely! If you want to change your lifestyle and get healthy, there NEEDS to be a huge amount of soul-searching. Because otherwise, it's possible you'll lose weight but just gain it all back because you never learned how to deal with the issues that made you heavier in the first place.0 -
Well, you two cents just became worth a million dollars.
I do apologize if I offended anyone; I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and, while I did post this thread, my feeling were hurt too by those that did not take the time to think about what they said when they posted. I was definitely not expecting that! I have mulled over this issue for a few weeks now because I did not want to hurt anyone. But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with. You have proven your point elloquently and so I thank you for that.
Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.
I know you didn't mean any harm. I think that feelings were hurt because people read too much into it, attached their own issues to it. I also understand how some people would feel 'called out', if they behaved in a way you described (Even if you weren't talking about them) .
But, really, the initial post turned into something else entirely. I know that you couldn't have seen that coming when you posted in the first place. I also think you're a smart woman with good things to say. :flowerforyou:
The point I was making was that, feelings wound up hurt, period. And that makes me sad 'cause we're all on the same team. So I wanted to say something to get that out there, because we shouldn't be fighting eachother. We should be fighting.... the fat-monster!
So true! Thank you for sharing...your opion, in my opinion, is held with very high regard!
Thank you!
...I'm not used to people listening to what I have to say, lol.
:drinker:0 -
Wow, this is pathetic!!0
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I think we just hit the rewind button, now.0
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But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I'm with you on this, Karma. I think, as you suggested earlier, it's our genuine concern for others that allows us to be so frustrated by people being dishonest with themselves. Apparently some people don't have the same genuine concern for others, or maybe they have better coping methods than we do. :laugh: Like you, I want everyone to be successful. I see so many people on MFP in denial or just completely willfully ignorant. I'm saddened to see people so easily offended or disheartened by candor and honesty.
I'm a frank & to the point kinda girl to a fault (I imagine) and I know I've been taken aback by some of your questions and comments at times. HOWEVER, when I get past the initial shock (mostly because I'm so adjusted to all the BS and sugar-coating spewing from everyone else) and really read into what you're saying, I always start to understand where you're coming from.0 -
I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with.
Forgot to respond to this part... d'oh! :bigsmile:
I TOTALLY agree people need to look inward if they're looking for change. DEEP inward. I had to figure out WHY I ate the way that I ate, in order to put a stop to it. I think what I mean about people don't need to 'look inward' is simply that they don't need to re-evaluate the way they eat/log calories just because we tell them to. They don't 'owe it' to us. They're entitled to feel how they feel.
But yes, absolutely! If you want to change your lifestyle and get healthy, there NEEDS to be a huge amount of soul-searching. Because otherwise, it's possible you'll lose weight but just gain it all back because you never learned how to deal with the issues that made you heavier in the first place.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!! OMG! I feel so relieved! This is exactly why I was sooooo frustrated with some people to begin with. People want to post on this thread and act like I have nothing better to do than to crtitcize people, make them answer TO ME!!!, and that I am judging! I think its great that my company is closing and I can sit on the computer ALL DAY and help people with the same sruggle I am going through! Then again, I'm biased so Im sure not all would agree!
I see these people struggling all day long, as am I, and I want to scream out to them in the most careful way, please look at what you are doing and what got you here in the first place. Eating less of the most horrible foods is only going to get you so far....then it all comes back. But I can't say that because I want to support people, not criticize them. But can imagine how frustrating that is to see someone struggle and you cant say anything! For me, that is just about the most difficult thing I have ever had to do!
I never expected it to get this far gone but, you know what, I'm glad it did. I learned alot about reading people, understanding perspectives and definitely how to stop letting other people's inabilities (for whatever reason) affect me so much.
you should definitely speak more often; you have a great deal of important things to say, I'm sure!0 -
Wow, this is pathetic!!
Yet, somehow, you still felt the need to reply.
Hmmm, your opinion is definitely welcome, but please, do it gracefully.0 -
jib....I think you half-agreed with me on the infamous grammar debate earlier....I think some of these threads spin out of control and turn into straight bullying........I am a HUGE hypocrite.....I try to defend people I hardly know for making a small, trivial grammar mistakes...then turn around and WANT to call them names! I made it personal because my husband is dyslexic and has very bad grammar and punctuation problems, and if he read that thread he would be SO HURT........And in no way do I not understand what he is conveying, and he is and will remain extremely intelligent...........Sorry, but that is what I really wanted to say (before the thread was locked on me) to let people know that being lighthearted about certain things can really hurt people!!!!!
Karma, we need a skinny cocktail!:drinker:0 -
It was graceful compared to what I read in past posts. I wish you'd realize that it's just frustration with your own life. Not others.0
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But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I'm with you on this, Karma. I think, as you suggested earlier, it's our genuine concern for others that allows us to be so frustrated by people being dishonest with themselves. Apparently some people don't have the same genuine concern for others, or maybe they have better coping methods than we do. :laugh: Like you, I want everyone to be successful. I see so many people on MFP in denial or just completely willfully ignorant. I'm saddened to see people so easily offended or disheartened by candor and honesty.
I'm a frank & to the point kinda girl to a fault (I imagine) and I know I've been taken aback by some of your questions and comments at times. HOWEVER, when I get past the initial shock (mostly because I'm so adjusted to all the BS and sugar-coating spewing from everyone else) and really read into what you're saying, I always start to understand where you're coming from.
Thanks, Jib...
I know my honesty can come off quite harsh. That is also something this thread has reminded me of. I try my best, by repeatedly reading what I type before I send it. But, sometimes, there is no way to sugarcoat something that requires complete honesty.
I believe we have been through the debate process before....on a small issue of excercise calories. hehehe. You are so patient and you know so much about this! Glad to have you as a friend!0 -
It was graceful compared to what I read in past posts. I wish you'd realize that it's just frustration with your own life. Not others.
Thank you. I will take that into consideration...again. Because I believe I addressed that it was a personal issue about 40 posts ago.
Good luck on your weight loss journey! You have found a great network of people here!0 -
But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I'm with you on this, Karma. I think, as you suggested earlier, it's our genuine concern for others that allows us to be so frustrated by people being dishonest with themselves. Apparently some people don't have the same genuine concern for others, or maybe they have better coping methods than we do. :laugh: Like you, I want everyone to be successful. I see so many people on MFP in denial or just completely willfully ignorant. I'm saddened to see people so easily offended or disheartened by candor and honesty.
I'm a frank & to the point kinda girl to a fault (I imagine) and I know I've been taken aback by some of your questions and comments at times. HOWEVER, when I get past the initial shock (mostly because I'm so adjusted to all the BS and sugar-coating spewing from everyone else) and really read into what you're saying, I always start to understand where you're coming from.
I agree with this, too. This is what I love about MFP- most of the time, when we have a really controversial thread with hurt feelings and shouting, it's because someone said something out of genuine concern. Whether it's because someone's losing weight WAY too fast or just not eating enough calories or something, people can get really bent out of shape if you question that. It leads to a lot of finger pointing and anger- but I genuinely believe that even the most controversial of posts usually come from a good place.
Don't get me wrong- I'm a FAN of the sugar-coating and BS. I want to really be a positive person and would hate to drag someone down. Mostly because I hate it when people do that to me and I'm a fan of 'treat others how you'd like to be treated'. But if something offends me, I will speak out about it. And if I'm worried about someone, I'll say something too! I think it's just a matter of HOW you approach a situation. Are you going to be nice, or are you going to be confrontational? Not saying anyone here was doing that, I'm just speaking in generalizations.
The sugar-coating gets under my skin, though, when it accompanies bad advice. Like, "I don't know why I'm not losing weight!" and someone comes and says, "Aw, sweetie, it's probably muscle. Muscle weights more than fat!" And meanwhile, I'm slamming my head into the desk going, "THEY DID NOT GAIN FIVE POUNDS OF MUSCLE IN A WEEK!! &^*#&%^*#$%!!!!"
But then I compose myself and try to say, as nicely and as politely as possible, that it's likely not muscle (though possible, because I don't want to shoot anyone down). Then I talk about water retention, weight fluctutations, blah blah, all the things you've all heard from me before. And I GET other people's frustration and questions because it was me asking those same questions not so long ago. I READ and RESEARCH a LOT, so sometimes I'm like, 'Gosh, just look it up!'
Yes, though, we should all be able to offer support/opinions/constructive criticism. And sometimes, support doesn't take the form of lovely squishy snoodles. Sometimes, support is hard. Sometimes support is a kick in the face. Sometimes support is your personal trainer sitting on your chest saying "JUST ONE MORE!!!!!"
I just like to make sure that, at the end of the day, we all understand that we have a common purpose. And that, while some of us may get hurt feelings from time to time, we need to REMEMBER that common purpose and not take things too much to heart. Sometimes it's just a matter of acknowledging that, yes, feelings got hurt. How can we reduce that hurt in the future? Etc.0 -
Oh, because I don't have a network of friends yet, huh? Is that what you are implying?0
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jib....I think you half-agreed with me on the infamous grammar debate earlier....I think some of these threads spin out of control and turn into straight bullying........I am a HUGE hypocrite.....I try to defend people I hardly know for making a small, trivial grammar mistakes...then turn around and WANT to call them names! I made it personal because my husband is dyslexic and has very bad grammar and punctuation problems, and if he read that thread he would be SO HURT........And in no way do I not understand what he is conveying, and he is and will remain extremely intelligent...........Sorry, but that is what I really wanted to say (before the thread was locked on me) to let people know that being lighthearted about certain things can really hurt people!!!!!
Karma, we need a skinny cocktail!:drinker:
OMG! Aldi has a no calorie cranberry juice and vodka is like a whopping ten! Let's do it!!! LOL0 -
Oh, because I don't have a network of friends yet, huh? Is that what you are implying?
Oh dear...
Star, I wouldnt know that; I've never seen you or your profile. But we are truly here for you, regardless of the debate at hand. We all mean the best and a debate should remain that: a debate.
You are more than welcome to request me, if you so choose.
Again, I mean no harm...0 -
you should definitely speak more often; you have a great deal of important things to say, I'm sure!
LOL. Oh, I have LOTS of important things to say.
I'm brilliant, didn't you know?
I'm also long-winded and people tune me out after a while. Sometimes hubby tunes out then tunes back in and is like, 'Are you still talking?'
Also, I have two kids under five, so not a lot of listening happens there. :laugh:0 -
I smell an instigator. (did I spell that wrong lol)0
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But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.
I'm with you on this, Karma. I think, as you suggested earlier, it's our genuine concern for others that allows us to be so frustrated by people being dishonest with themselves. Apparently some people don't have the same genuine concern for others, or maybe they have better coping methods than we do. :laugh: Like you, I want everyone to be successful. I see so many people on MFP in denial or just completely willfully ignorant. I'm saddened to see people so easily offended or disheartened by candor and honesty.
I'm a frank & to the point kinda girl to a fault (I imagine) and I know I've been taken aback by some of your questions and comments at times. HOWEVER, when I get past the initial shock (mostly because I'm so adjusted to all the BS and sugar-coating spewing from everyone else) and really read into what you're saying, I always start to understand where you're coming from.
I agree with this, too. This is what I love about MFP- most of the time, when we have a really controversial thread with hurt feelings and shouting, it's because someone said something out of genuine concern. Whether it's because someone's losing weight WAY too fast or just not eating enough calories or something, people can get really bent out of shape if you question that. It leads to a lot of finger pointing and anger- but I genuinely believe that even the most controversial of posts usually come from a good place.
Don't get me wrong- I'm a FAN of the sugar-coating and BS. I want to really be a positive person and would hate to drag someone down. Mostly because I hate it when people do that to me and I'm a fan of 'treat others how you'd like to be treated'. But if something offends me, I will speak out about it. And if I'm worried about someone, I'll say something too! I think it's just a matter of HOW you approach a situation. Are you going to be nice, or are you going to be confrontational? Not saying anyone here was doing that, I'm just speaking in generalizations.
The sugar-coating gets under my skin, though, when it accompanies bad advice. Like, "I don't know why I'm not losing weight!" and someone comes and says, "Aw, sweetie, it's probably muscle. Muscle weights more than fat!" And meanwhile, I'm slamming my head into the desk going, "THEY DID NOT GAIN FIVE POUNDS OF MUSCLE IN A WEEK!! &^*#&%^*#$%!!!!"
But then I compose myself and try to say, as nicely and as politely as possible, that it's likely not muscle (though possible, because I don't want to shoot anyone down). Then I talk about water retention, weight fluctutations, blah blah, all the things you've all heard from me before. And I GET other people's frustration and questions because it was me asking those same questions not so long ago. I READ and RESEARCH a LOT, so sometimes I'm like, 'Gosh, just look it up!'
Yes, though, we should all be able to offer support/opinions/constructive criticism. And sometimes, support doesn't take the form of lovely squishy snoodles. Sometimes, support is hard. Sometimes support is a kick in the face. Sometimes support is your personal trainer sitting on your chest saying "JUST ONE MORE!!!!!"
I just like to make sure that, at the end of the day, we all understand that we have a common purpose. And that, while some of us may get hurt feelings from time to time, we need to REMEMBER that common purpose and not take things too much to heart. Sometimes it's just a matter of acknowledging that, yes, feelings got hurt. How can we reduce that hurt in the future? Etc.
Again, beautifully said! Keep it coming, sister! This is exactly where I was coming from!!!0
This discussion has been closed.
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