Mom's don't look like that!!!
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females are the most hateful alienating groups ever. And there is a very specific demographic at the heart of it - and sadly, it's moms that hate the most. Which really is totally unfair to other women. Yall have a husband who loves you, healthy children crawling all over you - and they just sit in front of the internet judging people.
I cant understand why they are not the ultimate happy ladies on earth... i mean - they won, right? According to them they did it right.
breaks my heart every day seeing this pattern continue
Amen, sister. Women are WAAAYYY worse to each other than men are to them when it comes to judgements. It's awful.
internalized misogyny is one of my pet peeves. Why are we talking about women as hateful?? I'm going to bail on my own thread because I have no tolerance for this way of thinking. Women who don't hate women, feel free to add me as a friend. Everyone else can go hog wild on their hatred/fear or whatever it is that compels people to think like this elsewhere. My reality is *nothing* like what is being said here.0 -
Im one of those Lucky ones that did not get stretch marks. Cocoa butter ladies.
It's genetics. I don't have any either.
just a note: i have them from puberty, but got none in pregnancy.0 -
I was working on the flat tummy and got pregnant again =P0
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<<<<< two kids, flat belly and stretch marks and rocks a bikini like a bull rider. My best friend... Almost 40 two kids 0 stretch marks and flat belly. Rocks her bikini like a bull rider. We are a force to be seen pool ride. You mad ? Seriously though, there isn't a standard for what a mom is supposed to look like., and I freaking hate that women feel shame of a natural result from the body expanding enough to fit a second human in it.0
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EXCEPT this photo has been proved to be fake, it's a regular fit woman (NOT mother) that someone put stretch marks on digitally. Gives me false hope really! NEVER seen a good before/after for a mum who had stretch marks and got fat that EVER got thin. Sure mums that never got stretch marks, mums that never got fat, but yeah. Poop photo. lol
You will see one when I post in success stories one day
I'm seeing about 4 pages worth in this thread alone of moms who had babies (some, like me with 9lb'rs) and got flat bellies.0 -
bump0
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I've seen mom's that are in way better shape than 18 year old non moms!0
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and why can't we also just say to the moms who have been told ever since they announced their pregnancy that their bodies will be ruined that hey MOMS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL even with the stretch marks. I don't get it. If you want to make a post about how extremely fat women (with no kids) can be beautiful again, please visit the success stories thread.
ps. for hte record, my stretch marks aren't from my pregnancy. But i was never told when i was fat that I couldn't be thin again. But i was told that when I was pregnant.
We can, actually. I'm not sure where you got the idea that I was saying we can't, or shouldn't. And even though I've only been here since August, I don't need anyone to tell me which threads I should visit or comment in, thanks.
Also, if you don't want Yoovie's stereotype to live on, do something other than fall face first into it.0 -
I do think mothers need to give themselves a little more slack. Don't stress too much about gaining a lot during pregnancy. Give yourself a full year, maybe more, to get back in shape. You don't have to work out 6 days a week to be successful and healthy. 2-3 days of heavy lifting is fine. You don't have to eat 1200 calories a day. TDEE - 20% is great (for me that's 2000 calories). If you miss a gym day because of a sick kid, don't beat yourself up. Being a fit, healthy, hot mom is definitely possible but don't make yourself miserable doing it. Being a happy mom is more important. The other stuff can come when it comes.0
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I have stretch marks and no kids :-/ Do I get anything for that? lol0
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My "stripes" are just from growing up fast during childhood0
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EXCEPT this photo has been proved to be fake, it's a regular fit woman (NOT mother) that someone put stretch marks on digitally. Gives me false hope really! NEVER seen a good before/after for a mum who had stretch marks and got fat that EVER got thin. Sure mums that never got stretch marks, mums that never got fat, but yeah. Poop photo. lol
You will see one when I post in success stories one day
I'm seeing about 4 pages worth in this thread alone of moms who had babies (some, like me with 9lb'rs) and got flat bellies.
9.2#er and I WILL get my flat tummy back. Only 3 months post-partum but it will happen! I also had horrible stretch marks but they're almost completely faded.0 -
Im one of those Lucky ones that did not get stretch marks. Cocoa butter ladies.
It's genetics. I don't have any either.
just a note: i have them from puberty, but got none in pregnancy.
Me too!! I thought I was doomed but the only pregnancy stretch marks I got are on my butt.0 -
So true.Maybe if they'd stop photo shopping every celebrity and magazine cover, people wouldn't have some twisted view of how "real" people look.0 -
my son was 8lbs 6.7 oz... and i'm determined to have a flat stomach! stretch marks? yeah.. looks like a road map. Oh well. It was an accomplishment just carrying him to term! At first I hated them.. but now when I look at my son, I'm really grateful I got the chance to have them at all.0
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ok extreme examples but look at Victoria Beckham, Heidi Klum -- both had multiple children and I don't think anyone could argue they are hot moms!!
I want my flat tummy back but I know its coming and it didn't get bigger from my children -- it got bigger when I hit 40!!0 -
Im one of those Lucky ones that did not get stretch marks. Cocoa butter ladies.
It has a ton to do with genetics, the position and size of the baby. I slathered all sorts of lotions and creams and nothing prevented them. Over 9lb baby.0 -
Maybe if they'd stop photo shopping every celebrity and magazine cover, people wouldn't have some twisted view of how "real" people look.
I don't blame photoshop for this. I blame the celebrity-worship culture. Too many people idolize these "beautiful" people on magazine covers rather than the beautiful people in their own lives.0 -
This mum is getting toned...but can't shift that fat under the belly button though...and yes..she has earned her stripes too!0
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When I see this picture I think. Tiger stripes? Earning them, like as a reward. Stretch marks are an awful reward.
I had repeat C-Sections. Two beautiful 9.5lb babies within 2 years. I am working my butt off (literally) I only wish to look 1/2 as good as that, but I will do my best to get in the best shape I can get. I think that's what matters. Mother or not, you owe it to yourself to be healthy.0 -
stretch marks? yeah.. looks like a road map.
Brilliant! LOL!0 -
EXCEPT this photo has been proved to be fake, it's a regular fit woman (NOT mother) that someone put stretch marks on digitally. Gives me false hope really! NEVER seen a good before/after for a mum who had stretch marks and got fat that EVER got thin. Sure mums that never got stretch marks, mums that never got fat, but yeah. Poop photo. lol
You will see one when I post in success stories one day
I'm seeing about 4 pages worth in this thread alone of moms who had babies (some, like me with 9lb'rs) and got flat bellies.
I got the WORST stretch marks all over my stomach. Coco buttered it up every chance I got!
Here I was before
Do you see my tummy/ Youngest son was 2 at this point
And here I am now, in less then a year
not only have I lost the baby tummy but most of the stretch marks too.... it can be done.
so everyone saying that we can't get our bodies into shape is wrong. To all MOM'S, you are gorgeous, you made humans and screw all that think that that means you have to be obese because of it! And stretch marks happen, you either get them or you don't, big deal, they are a reminder that I carried my 2 gorgeous sons and I have learned to love them.0 -
But the flip side of that comment (flat belly = not a "real" mom) is that every woman has to be a "momshell" and lose the baby weight stat and be in perfect physical shape stat... Neither of those are good, but I am much more tired of being pushed to have the perfect body. Eff that.
No one is saying "perfect" body - we're just trying to debunk the fact that if you're a mom you have to have stretch marks and be frumpy or fat and don't take care of yourself. And like above said - "Wow, you've had 2 kids? You look great" Would I not still be 'great' had I not had kids or if I had 6 kids.... Why can't we take the "MOM" out of the equation and just praise each women for their hardwork to get the body *they* want. There is no perfect and there should nto be labels.
It doesn't bother me when people say how great I look after having kids. I love to say how I have had three 60lb pregnancies, 10lb babies and 3 c-sections. I like showing people that having kids isn't the end all be all to your figure. But I have always liked being the contradiction, doing things despite what others told me I "can" and "can't" do :bigsmile:
I am also the category of women who aren't scared to turn 40 just to prove that 40 is very much indeed sexy. I am still not where I want to be yet, but I look way better at 35 than at 21. I do have a few stretch marks and a little loose skin but you would have to be a real *kitten* to point it out and I am also one of the women who are proud of my "stripes" and have never been embarrassed by it.
I get what you are saying, though. Its the same as telling a heavy girl she has such a pretty face.0 -
I posted that same image to my FB belly dance page from Takei's Pinterest profile. It's gotten a LOT of likes!
Our culture is so anti-natural that it makes me sick. Western women are expected to have figures like little boys except with humongous boobs. if you're a Mom, then all that AND and no stretch marks.
Sorry, I just want to be fit, healthy and still look like a *woman.*
Forget 6-pack abs, those are for men... I'll take my "belly dancer belly" ANY day!
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I'm probably the type of person who would have said "moms don't look like that!" a few months ago out of exasperation and desperation and wanting to be normal, mainly because I felt SO fat.
I still feel overweight -- because I am. But I'm doing something about it. I appreciate MFP for giving me the inspiration to work toward this, and for showing me that it IS possible.0 -
Im one of those Lucky ones that did not get stretch marks. Cocoa butter ladies.
I used that every day throughout out both my pregnancies. My daughters were 7 lbs 1 oz and 7 lbs 5 oz. I have stretch marks. It's not a miracle cream.0 -
stretch marks? yeah.. looks like a road map.
Brilliant! LOL!
it's true! they wrap from my stomach to my sides.0 -
Sorry if i am cutting in, but i take this personal as well, being a father of 3, i say all moms deserve the right to celebrate working hard and it's reward. I think in a world that there are more important things to concern ourselves with why or how can/would a person fix their mouth to say you shouldn't look your best, besides the flip side is the more fit you are the better your chances of providing a healthy up bringing for your children. Not to mention it just may permit you to be around and more active in their lives longer than being overweight would (just a thought). People often will destroy what they cannot obtain themselves just to make themselves feel better. Not to say that mothers who do not "have a flat stomach" are not great parents i just say to the ladies that have worked hard at whatever physical condition you're in celebrate yourself so loud the ignorant people are drowned out.. my hat is off to you all0
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Sorry if i am cutting in, but i take this personal as well, being a father of 3, i say all moms deserve the right to celebrate working hard and it's reward. I think in a world that there are more important things to concern ourselves with why or how can/would a person fix their mouth to say you shouldn't look your best, besides the flip side is the more fit you are the better your chances of providing a healthy up bringing for your children. Not to mention it just may permit you to be around and more active in their lives longer than being overweight would (just a thought). People often will destroy what they cannot obtain themselves just to make themselves feel better. Not to say that mothers who do not "have a flat stomach" are not great parents i just say to the ladies that have worked hard at whatever physical condition you're in celebrate yourself so loud the ignorant people are drowned out.. my hat is off to you all
Well said! ^^0 -
It doesn't bother me when people say how great I look after having kids. I love to say how I have had three 60lb pregnancies, 10lb babies and 3 c-sections. I like showing people that having kids isn't the end all be all to your figure. But I have always liked being the contradiction, doing things despite what others told me I "can" and "can't" do :bigsmile:
I am also the category of women who aren't scared to turn 40 just to prove that 40 is very much indeed sexy. I am still not where I want to be yet, but I look way better at 35 than at 21. I do have a few stretch marks and a little loose skin but you would have to be a real *kitten* to point it out and I am also one of the women who are proud of my "stripes" and have never been embarrassed by it.
I get what you are saying, though. Its the same as telling a heavy girl she has such a pretty face.
Rock on! Thank you for posting this. I agree with you. I am not embarrassed of my age, either, and enjoy being the contradiction to society's unwritten rules.
(As for your last line, EXACTLY. That's all I was saying in my post, but somehow that got lost in translation, evidently.)0
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