Mom's don't look like that!!!

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  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I love George Takei, his page is usually funny.

    That said, I don't need validation about bodily changes through pregnancy from a gay man. You've never been pregnant and you never would have found me that attractive anyway
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    Some of the most successful peeps on MFP are moms. It's really inspiring to see what determination and hard work can bring!
  • al369
    al369 Posts: 170 Member
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    But the flip side of that comment (flat belly = not a "real" mom) is that every woman has to be a "momshell" and lose the baby weight stat and be in perfect physical shape stat... Neither of those are good, but I am much more tired of being pushed to have the perfect body. Eff that.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    < Mom of 3.
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    I love George Takei, his page is usually funny.

    This is true, but I've also seen him put up some clunkers that made me shake my head.

    That said, I don't think you have to be a mother to be hot, or that you have to justify stretch marks with babies. It's great if the babies make you feel better about your stretch marks. I feel better about mine knowing that they show up when I'm losing weight, so yay for me, and that not a single man I've ever been with has taken issue with them.
  • Rum_Runner
    Rum_Runner Posts: 617 Member
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    But the flip side of that comment (flat belly = not a "real" mom) is that every woman has to be a "momshell" and lose the baby weight stat and be in perfect physical shape stat... Neither of those are good, but I am much more tired of being pushed to have the perfect body. Eff that.

    No one is saying "perfect" body - we're just trying to debunk the fact that if you're a mom you have to have stretch marks and be frumpy or fat and don't take care of yourself. And like above said - "Wow, you've had 2 kids? You look great" Would I not still be 'great' had I not had kids or if I had 6 kids.... Why can't we take the "MOM" out of the equation and just praise each women for their hardwork to get the body *they* want. There is no perfect and there should nto be labels.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    This is true, but I've also seen him put up some clunkers that made me shake my head.

    I agree, I think sometimes he tries way too hard to impress every kind of person with how sensitive he is. Also he posts some comics that are so lame my grandmother wouldn't have laughed
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I have no hope then...I am a Grandma
  • dlw13
    dlw13 Posts: 119 Member
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    But the flip side of that comment (flat belly = not a "real" mom) is that every woman has to be a "momshell" and lose the baby weight stat and be in perfect physical shape stat... Neither of those are good, but I am much more tired of being pushed to have the perfect body. Eff that.

    No one is saying "perfect" body - we're just trying to debunk the fact that if you're a mom you have to have stretch marks and be frumpy or fat and don't take care of yourself. And like above said - "Wow, you've had 2 kids? You look great" Would I not still be 'great' had I not had kids or if I had 6 kids.... Why can't we take the "MOM" out of the equation and just praise each women for their hard work to get the body *they* want. There is no perfect and there should not be labels.

    Agree! I feel the same way when I hear, "you're in great shape for your age" Almost always from someone 20 years my junior, and my typical response is "I'm in great shape for YOUR age" :laugh:

    Whenever you qualify a compliment, it's no longer a compliment. IMHO.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Do not let the words of others define what you may be: but let your own actions define what you will become.

    May your fitness aspirations become reality through hard work and consistency,
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    Would I not still be 'great' had I not had kids or if I had 6 kids.... Why can't we take the "MOM" out of the equation and just praise each women for their hardwork to get the body *they* want. There is no perfect and there should nto be labels.

    I agree, but that's not how most people think, unfortunately.

    It's like when people say, "Wow, you're (insert whatever age I am here)? You look great." As if other women who are that age automatically look bad. As if there is some unspoken expiration date on women and I've somehow made it past that unspoiled, or, to bring this back to the topic, not "ruined." This goes for "She is so pretty... (wait for it)... you know, for a heavy girl."

    This is probably way deeper than anyone intended to take this topic, but yeah: just say she's beautiful. You don't have to list all the supposed obstacles you believe she is jumping to get there (age, weight, kids, gods forbid color of skin or whatever someone grasps onto as some kind of barrier to beauty, as if.) Just say she's attractive and leave it at that.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    But the flip side of that comment (flat belly = not a "real" mom) is that every woman has to be a "momshell" and lose the baby weight stat and be in perfect physical shape stat... Neither of those are good, but I am much more tired of being pushed to have the perfect body. Eff that.
    It's all about what you want. Personal preference. I'm not about to judge somebody who doesn't want to be "momshell". Personally, I do.
    But again.. it's what you want. More than enough room for all of us and our desires.
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
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    <== Mom right here!
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    seriously.

    "Real Women" have curves
    Only dogs want bones
    "Real" Moms dont have flat tummies
    "Real Moms" stay home with their kids
    "Real Women" blah blah blah

    females are the most hateful alienating groups ever. And there is a very specific demographic at the heart of it - and sadly, it's moms that hate the most. Which really is totally unfair to other women. Yall have a husband who loves you, healthy children crawling all over you - and they just sit in front of the internet judging people.

    I cant understand why they are not the ultimate happy ladies on earth... i mean - they won, right? According to them they did it right.

    breaks my heart every day seeing this pattern continue :(

    I would say well said but I'm afraid you might take it the wrong way again :)

    but... i'll take my chances and say well said

    I think it's just as bad to say that "moms hate the most." Stereotyping is a problem...

    This is the thing, i hear a lot of women without kids say that there is all this pressure to have kids and that you are told you aren't a "real woman" unless you have kids. I have the opposite experience. I am a mom and I have been told "i thought you were going to do something with your life" and treated like I'm undatable because I have a child. I'm expected to be asexual. I'm exposed to a lot of hatred based on how having kids is bad for the earth, etc etc. How i just laid on my back, blah blah blah.

    I think we all need to stop with this crap. I am not hateful of other women. I just feel heartbroken when I hear people telling other young moms, or other moms in general, that they can't be beautiful because they had a baby. Their bodies are "ruined."

    My body isn't ruined. My life isn't ruined. Everything is harder than it would have otherwise been. I do not hate women who don't have children. I believe everyone has the right to be and do as they please with their own lives. I don't feel I can't do anythign that my non-mom friends do, i just recognize it takes more work and planning for me to pull of world travels or even a flat tummy. I accept the challenge, and i do so without passing judgment on non-moms.

    I guess for me this post wasn't meant to be a knock on women who dont' have children, but just support for other moms who may have had the experiences I have had, like being told I would never do anything with my life because I have a kid, or that I could never be thin again because I had a baby, or that i'm undatable/ugly becuase I have a child. Those messages are very real for the mama's out there. And my counteracting those messages is in no way meant to say that women who didn't do what i have done are not real women or are not hard working or are not beautiful or that they are selfish or any of that other crap because i just don't buy it.
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
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    EXCEPT this photo has been proved to be fake, it's a regular fit woman (NOT mother) that someone put stretch marks on digitally. Gives me false hope really! NEVER seen a good before/after for a mum who had stretch marks and got fat that EVER got thin. Sure mums that never got stretch marks, mums that never got fat, but yeah. Poop photo. lol

    You will see one when I post in success stories one day :)
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
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    Did I still earn my "stripes" if I have stretch marks, but no kids? ;)

    Seriously though...
  • _KATzMeow
    _KATzMeow Posts: 336 Member
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    Im one of those Lucky ones that did not get stretch marks. Cocoa butter ladies.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Would I not still be 'great' had I not had kids or if I had 6 kids.... Why can't we take the "MOM" out of the equation and just praise each women for their hardwork to get the body *they* want. There is no perfect and there should nto be labels.

    I agree, but that's not how most people think, unfortunately.

    It's like when people say, "Wow, you're (insert whatever age I am here)? You look great." As if other women who are that age automatically look bad. As if there is some unspoken expiration date on women and I've somehow made it past that unspoiled, or, to bring this back to the topic, not "ruined." This goes for "She is so pretty... (wait for it)... you know, for a heavy girl."

    This is probably way deeper than anyone intended to take this topic, but yeah: just say she's beautiful. You don't have to list all the supposed obstacles you believe she is jumping to get there (age, weight, kids, gods forbid color of skin or whatever someone grasps onto as some kind of barrier to beauty, as if.) Just say she's attractive and leave it at that.

    and why can't we also just say to the moms who have been told ever since they announced their pregnancy that their bodies will be ruined that hey MOMS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL even with the stretch marks. I don't get it. If you want to make a post about how extremely fat women (with no kids) can be beautiful again, please visit the success stories thread.

    ps. for hte record, my stretch marks aren't from my pregnancy. But i was never told when i was fat that I couldn't be thin again. But i was told that when I was pregnant.
  • fakeplastictree
    fakeplastictree Posts: 836 Member
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    Yeah, moms can have flat bellies. Dammit. I may not but that doesn't mean others don't. Stupid people my goodness. lol
  • FitForLife81
    FitForLife81 Posts: 372 Member
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    I have two kids and my stomach is flatter now than before kids ;P

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