Irresponsible SO
HappyNinjaStar
Posts: 353 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you handle irresponsible spending on the part of your SO? Take this from the point of view of having joint accounts/shared money as well as shared expenses.
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Replies
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I talk to them, then yell, then keep my money out of our joint account.0
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depends if I am married or not. I will share expenses, but not bank accounts, before being married. Either way, I'd probably avoid the issue all together by not putting $ in a joint account.0
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Not have joint accounts. Or not date people who are irresponsible with their money.0
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Slowly chemically castrate him...then when he's sleeping weave what's left of his *kitten* into a vagina. That makes the most sense.
Or you can close the joint account.0 -
My husband has a Nerf gun habit. Yes, a Nerf gun habit. I think he has 17 guns now and anytime we go to the grocery store he always asks to get a new one. He also is a drummer in two bands and wants a new drum kit, which we just can't afford right now. I had to lay the law down recently because his van needs repairs and he wanted to spend his Christmas bonus on a new drum set. I hate doing that because I feel like a nag, but at some point you have to grow up and realize that the important things have to be taken care of before the fun stuff. I am very lucky though. My husband works 50 hours a week, helps around the house, cooks dinner and is just a sweetheart. That's why I let the Nerf gun habit slide haha. I hope to be able to get him that new drum kit one day, because he gets his use out of it, but just can't afford to drop $1,000 on it. The best thing is to talk it out. I'll get mad sometimes because he says we have bills, we are always going to have bills, which is true, but I'm the one that manages the accounts and stresses over the bills. That's probably the only thing we ever argue about is money, and it's not often, so I guess that's a good thing.0
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Slowly chemically castrate him...then when he's sleeping weave what's left of his *kitten* into a vagina. That makes the most sense.
Or you can close the joint account.
I can see your eye twitching as you wrote the top half, then pause, scratch the secret boob compartment, then follow up with something more sane. :drinker:0 -
Go over the budget with them. Show them how much income goes into the account and how much is actually going out. Break it into categories - Bills, Grocery/Household, Gas, & General Spending.
Together plan how you are going to spend your money for the next month. Agree on an amount to use for spending money, then get that amount out in cash & divide it up between each other so you don't have to know what irresponsible stuff your SO is spending it on. When they run out of cash, they are done for that month!
A household budget is very similar to MFP food journal! More money going out than coming in will cause your wallet to shrink and more calories going out than coming in will cause your waist to shrink. Good Luck!
If they still insist on their irresponsible spending and you still want to be with them, go to counseling!0 -
Not have joint accounts. Or not date people who are irresponsible with their money.0
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Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.0
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Mental Note: Never ever ever tick off farfoorah...
I would talk to them about the issue and then if they can't agree to be resononsible about the money then have seperate accounts. Or you can offer to manage teh money for them.0 -
good luck..my ex could not control her spending. individual accounts just means he will spend his money and leave you with the bills to pay...0
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Check his text messages.0
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no joint accounts for personal spending!
Joint account for bill paying only, separate accounts for spending money allowance!0 -
Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
That's not what you're supposed to say......lol0 -
I KNOW!!!!!! \m/Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
That's not what you're supposed to say......lol0 -
good luck..my ex could not control her spending. individual accounts just means he will spend his money and leave you with the bills to pay...
^^ THIS!0 -
Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
WORD!.. well.. minus the invasionof privacy part.. haha...
When me and my girl first started dating (4 years ago) she would come to poker games with me and had no problem with how I spent my money. As months passed on, she would make comments of how I spent my money. Yup, I used to get mad, but because of her, I saved over 10 grand by watching what I buy, all do to her *****ing. Like I said, I got mad, but she did get me thinking, do I really need to play that much cards, do I really need a stereo system, and so on. That is why, this Christmas, I was able to make some good decisions, thanks to her...0 -
My boyfriend and I are about to open a joint account - the money in it will be for things we share, like groceries or meals out. We'll keep the rest of our money separate. That way there's a clear boundary about what the other person is allowed to spend your money on and what he/she isn't. If that gets abused, the joint account gets closed.
If you have issues like your SO coming up short with rent money or late on bills, that's a bigger issue. You might have to have a heart to heart and decide on an arrangement where the money gets automatically deducted from your SO's paycheck and put into a Bills account - if the money's not available to be spent, it won't be.0 -
Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
if that worked, mine would have stopped smoking A LONG time ago!
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Just break up.
(had to use since DaniD didnt)0 -
oh, and my money IS my money. I pay for almost everything (she does not work), but to have a level head reason with choices makes for saving lots of money. Even now, when I tell her that I finally have a savings account, and when I want to splurge, she still puts reality in my head.
I never EVER been so cautious with money. Thanks babe!0 -
I was married for 17 years and the most important thing I learned from living with an irresponsible husband was SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS. He had the bills he was supposed to pay (stress on SUPPOSED to) and I had mine. His were all things that I could live without and he couldn't...like cable..... I even learned the hard way that we had to have separate cell phone accounts.0
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Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
WORD!.. well.. minus the invasionof privacy part.. haha...
When me and my girl first started dating (4 years ago) she would come to poker games with me and had no problem with how I spent my money. As months passed on, she would make comments of how I spent my money. Yup, I used to get mad, but because of her, I saved over 10 grand by watching what I buy, all do to her *****ing. Like I said, I got mad, but she did get me thinking, do I really need to play that much cards, do I really need a stereo system, and so on. That is why, this Christmas, I was able to make some good decisions, thanks to her...
That's how we role. I never said anything until we had been dating a while, and he got mad when I first commented, and commented and commented. Now he has a REAL savings account and knows it's because I opened his eyes to his spending.
ETA: We don't have a joint account, but I have a pretty elaborate excel workbook of our monthly expenses. Rent, groceries etc. He knows he has to give me receipts for groceries etc that he buys. I tally the month and he writes me a cheque. (I pay rent, the biggest portion.)0 -
Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
just break up0 -
Agree that he should not be in charge of the accounts and should only be on an allowance. M and I have joint and seperate accounts. The joint accounts are only for house hold expenses and nothing personal, our personal accounts are for the personal stuff. We have a budget and we each are responsible for our share of the household expenses dependent on our percentage of total income (my income accounts for 65% of the total household income so I am also responsibile to ensure that I put at least enough money into the joint account to cover 65% of the household budget). Everything else goes into the personal accounts and is used for personal expenses (meals not eaten at home or together, clothes, etc).0
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Never share primary bank accounts exclusively. My ex and I had separate accounts (not the reason for the split) and then a third we called the house account. It worked just fine. We each had our own money to spend, each contributed to the house account for major purchases, rent, utilities insurance and such. Cut down on a whole lot of bickering over who spends what amount on what. Of course the OCCAISIONAL loan (with no real expectation for repayement) was exchanged when necessary. Worked for 16 years.
Of course for this to work there needs to be a two income household0 -
Whatever you do, don't confront him directly.
I find subtle methods to be most effective, like sighing loudly and insisting that nothing is wrong, and withholding sex.
Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:0 -
seperate accounts for personal bills and spending cash, joint bank account for "house bills" rent/insurance/groceries etc and each of you put a percentage in at the begining of each month proportionate to what you make.
my bestie has this arrangement and has a very happy marriage with no money issues at all they both have their spending cash and bills are always payed.
I had a joint account with my exhusband.... theres a lot of good reasons he is my ex husband that is a huge one of them0 -
Why why why WHY would unmarried people have joint bank accounts? You break up, he takes all the money in the joint account. You don't have any way of proving that the money in account was yours. Ergo, you lose all your money.
Even if you're married you should still have your own money. What a nightmare. Joint account for household expense. Separate accounts for all of your stuff and his stuff. Saves a lot of trouble on stuff. A set amount from each of you goes into the household expense account and whatever else is yours to spend on your own expenses.0
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