Irresponsible SO

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HappyNinjaStar
HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you handle irresponsible spending on the part of your SO? Take this from the point of view of having joint accounts/shared money as well as shared expenses.
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  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    I talk to them, then yell, then keep my money out of our joint account.
  • jess7386
    jess7386 Posts: 477 Member
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    depends if I am married or not. I will share expenses, but not bank accounts, before being married. Either way, I'd probably avoid the issue all together by not putting $ in a joint account.
  • _granola
    _granola Posts: 326
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    Not have joint accounts. Or not date people who are irresponsible with their money.
  • farfoorah
    farfoorah Posts: 168
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    Slowly chemically castrate him...then when he's sleeping weave what's left of his *kitten* into a vagina. That makes the most sense.

    Or you can close the joint account.
  • AmberLee2012
    AmberLee2012 Posts: 540
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    My husband has a Nerf gun habit. Yes, a Nerf gun habit. I think he has 17 guns now and anytime we go to the grocery store he always asks to get a new one. He also is a drummer in two bands and wants a new drum kit, which we just can't afford right now. I had to lay the law down recently because his van needs repairs and he wanted to spend his Christmas bonus on a new drum set. I hate doing that because I feel like a nag, but at some point you have to grow up and realize that the important things have to be taken care of before the fun stuff. I am very lucky though. My husband works 50 hours a week, helps around the house, cooks dinner and is just a sweetheart. That's why I let the Nerf gun habit slide haha. I hope to be able to get him that new drum kit one day, because he gets his use out of it, but just can't afford to drop $1,000 on it. The best thing is to talk it out. I'll get mad sometimes because he says we have bills, we are always going to have bills, which is true, but I'm the one that manages the accounts and stresses over the bills. That's probably the only thing we ever argue about is money, and it's not often, so I guess that's a good thing.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    Slowly chemically castrate him...then when he's sleeping weave what's left of his *kitten* into a vagina. That makes the most sense.

    Or you can close the joint account.

    I can see your eye twitching as you wrote the top half, then pause, scratch the secret boob compartment, then follow up with something more sane. :drinker:
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
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    Go over the budget with them. Show them how much income goes into the account and how much is actually going out. Break it into categories - Bills, Grocery/Household, Gas, & General Spending.

    Together plan how you are going to spend your money for the next month. Agree on an amount to use for spending money, then get that amount out in cash & divide it up between each other so you don't have to know what irresponsible stuff your SO is spending it on. When they run out of cash, they are done for that month!

    A household budget is very similar to MFP food journal! More money going out than coming in will cause your wallet to shrink and more calories going out than coming in will cause your waist to shrink. Good Luck!

    If they still insist on their irresponsible spending and you still want to be with them, go to counseling!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Not have joint accounts. Or not date people who are irresponsible with their money.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
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    Mental Note: Never ever ever tick off farfoorah...

    I would talk to them about the issue and then if they can't agree to be resononsible about the money then have seperate accounts. Or you can offer to manage teh money for them.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    good luck..my ex could not control her spending. individual accounts just means he will spend his money and leave you with the bills to pay...
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Check his text messages.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
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    no joint accounts for personal spending! :)

    Joint account for bill paying only, separate accounts for spending money allowance!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    That's not what you're supposed to say......lol
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    That's not what you're supposed to say......lol
    I KNOW!!!!!! \m/
  • asamuels85
    asamuels85 Posts: 170 Member
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    good luck..my ex could not control her spending. individual accounts just means he will spend his money and leave you with the bills to pay...

    ^^ THIS!
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    WORD!.. well.. minus the invasionof privacy part.. haha...

    When me and my girl first started dating (4 years ago) she would come to poker games with me and had no problem with how I spent my money. As months passed on, she would make comments of how I spent my money. Yup, I used to get mad, but because of her, I saved over 10 grand by watching what I buy, all do to her *****ing. Like I said, I got mad, but she did get me thinking, do I really need to play that much cards, do I really need a stereo system, and so on. That is why, this Christmas, I was able to make some good decisions, thanks to her...
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    My boyfriend and I are about to open a joint account - the money in it will be for things we share, like groceries or meals out. We'll keep the rest of our money separate. That way there's a clear boundary about what the other person is allowed to spend your money on and what he/she isn't. If that gets abused, the joint account gets closed.

    If you have issues like your SO coming up short with rent money or late on bills, that's a bigger issue. You might have to have a heart to heart and decide on an arrangement where the money gets automatically deducted from your SO's paycheck and put into a Bills account - if the money's not available to be spent, it won't be.
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    if that worked, mine would have stopped smoking A LONG time ago! :wink:
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Just break up.


    (had to use since DaniD didnt)

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